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'Twas the Night Before Christmas - DG Style by wcoast_girl
'Twas the Night Before Christmas by wcoast_girl
I may lack the discipline to write fanfic but I do write parodies. This is dedicated to all the great fanfic authors on Fire And Ice and the wonderful stories I’ve had the pleasure of reading over the past year. I’ve tried to incorporate as many stories and authors as possible but lordy – your names and story titles aren’t always conducive to rhyming. Thanks for sharing your work – your fans love it.

Oh yeah, one note - story titles are in italics and author names are in bold. And yes, much of the rhyming is cringe-worthy – that’s what makes it so fun! Happy Christmas all!



'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the houses,
the only creatures stirring, were DG shippers’ mouses.
Their fingers were poised on the links with great care,
in hopes that fanfic updates soon would be there.

The rest of us were nestled all snug in our beds,
while visions of sexyDraco! danced in our heads.
And Mynuet in her 'kerchief, and Megh in her cap,
had just updated the website, before a long winter's nap.

When out from the ‘net there arose such a clatter,
We sprang from our beds to see what was the matter.
”Oh heaven, oh bliss”, we gasped with such rapture,
Sarea Okelani’s new Portkey Party chapter!

The glow on the front on my brand new flat screen,
reminded me of Ill Met by Moonlight and caused me to dream,
when, what to our wondering eyes should appear,
but a blonde on a broom, with his customary sneer.

Those molten grey eyes looked so lively and quick,
We knew in a moment he’d read Catching the Snitch.
More rapid than eagles, his writers they came,
and he whistled and shouted and praised them by name:

"Annibug! Adelagia!
tkmoore, and Lissanne!
Lets read Downfall, Send Fudge,
Our Winter and The Plan!”

“Whether she’s Ginny, Ginevra, Virginia or Red,
your stories are great, I really like Tangled Web.

As dry leaves before the wild hurricane fly,
he then said with a wink, “Ginny definitely isn’t shy”,
so up to the house-top on his Nimbus he flew,
begging Jade and Sarea for more If You Only Knew.

And then, in a twinkling, we heard voices so teeny,
”We love that Tom Felton! He makes bad boys so dreamy”
As I drew in my head and was turning around,
down the chimney the Slytherin Sex God came with a bound.

He was dressed all in leather, from his head to his chaps,
The Baby’s Got a Secret but its kept well under wraps.
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
they were gifts for the writers, to keep them on track.

His eyes--how they twinkled! His chin, how it pointed!
We were so caught up staring, our necks got disjointed!
His droll little mouth made us think of great smut,
Who needs a plot if it gets you out of a rut.

Draco grinned at the parchments he held tight in his fist,
one was Deflowering Ginny Weasley, near the top of most lists.
The Pleasure of Your Company was pretty good too,
we also liked Dark Directed - or anything by clan malfoy will do.

He was chiselled and lean, a right handsome young elf,
and we sighed when we saw him, in spite of ourself.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
assured us we had only a lack of updates to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
filled the stockings with plot bunnies, then turned with a jerk.
And waving a finger in front of his nose,
he drawled “who’d want Harry Potter over me? God only knows.”

He sprang to his broom, to his girls gave a whistle,
And away he then flew like the down of a thistle.
But we heard him exclaim, and these words we shall heed,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good read!"


This story archived at http://www.dracoandginny.com/viewstory.php?sid=1844