Name: Desertisle reviewed Chapter 1 on Jan 24, 2016 08:32 am

This was great! You writing flows so well. Kudos to you. Thanks for writing it!

Name: ginnyd reviewed Chapter 1 on Mar 30, 2010 06:40 am

That was great loved it.

Name: Clorinda reviewed Chapter 1 on Apr 10, 2008 01:01 am

I liked this one immensely. It started off with no frills and kept delivering punches wham wham wham with élan, even though the innuendo didn't work too well (“I’m not prejudiced. I’m an Auror who’s onto you, Malfoy.” — “It’s Draco. You’re trying to get on with me? I’m flattered, but what would your brothers say?”) The intro was resplendent:

Her head jerked back. “What about white?”
Was she referring to his hair or skin tone? Draco smirked. “They revered it.”

Draco the family man with a golden heart. Hn, a cliché, but a lovable one. (However, I really liked: "He was not currying favour with the help. He merely disliked the smell of damp towels.") The bit of musing about his father before the mirror was a nice touch. (Draco had long since given up trying to win his father's approval. It came at too high a price.)

The break-in, on the other hand, was too anti-climactic: too banal, impersonal and minimum detail; a little too mechanical. The tiny little twist about him not requiring a wand could've been written better. By contrast, the part after Draco tells Ginny the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth was really well-done. "It felt like he was balancing on a knife's edge"— another less-used cliché, but a very, *very* apt one.

The captor-captive conversation was absolutely brilliant, especially with the crack about the constipated face and the white tomb. "He needed to spend some of that money on colourful throw pillows" was classic. All in all, I've decided every single bit of repartee and dialogue that this story has to offer is by default brilliant.

"It's misnamed. Mr. Pang never smiles."
"He should. The place always has a line out the door."
*That* was another well-thrown punch.

“Would Potter really hold a conference the moment you asked?”
“No. I’d probably have to cry and guilt him into it.”
“Guilt because he broke your heart?”
“Dented it, more like.”

That was a really cute exchange, IMHO.

However, Ginny versus Scrimegour was another disappointment. It wasn't convincing, not least because she appeared out of nowhere, and he didn't bat an eyelash, even though she poses a potential contingency that won't be pleasant to deal with.

The end, juxtaposed with the opening, was nicely played, particularly: "The laughing, slightly husky voice belonged to his date."

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it and thank you for sharing the concrit along with the praise! I'm not going to edit, :D, but I will keep certain points in mind in the future! :)

Name: die Loreley reviewed Chapter 1 on Apr 23, 2007 02:26 pm

*glomps* I tried to get here sooner, but the internet at home's broken. *shakes fist*

I loved it loved it loved it. It really is obvious that you've put so much work into researching all the historical facts surrounding Egyptian mythology and you did a great job teaching us all the facts without sounding like Hermione. I especially loved the bit at the end -- where Draco tells her that she completes him. It all falls into place nicely and I did a bit of a girly squeal upon reading it.

Ginny in denial is something you like to write about a lot, but is also something that I can see her doing. She's got the Weasley stubbornness, after all. I loved how you made her think that her obsession with him is purely based on his guilt as a cat burgler, not something else. And then have others sow doubts in her mind.

Draco making her all hot and flustered with touching her made me giggle. But I'm glad they got together in the end. How like Draco not to be susceptible to a Stupefy and to not need a wand.

I liked Draco caring for Narcissa and realising he's been a bad son... and then ordering gourmet meals for her. ;) But it seems so unSlytherin for Draco to be the blackmailed, not the blackmailer. That being said, it IS Scrimgeour. Who I kind of admire, in a warped way. But him being told off by Ginny at the end was priceless.

Hope more reviews come, because you (and all the other authors) deserve them.

Author's Response: I admire Scrimgeour too! I think he's a good man who can do bad things to accomplish his goals. He's never boring, that's for sure! As for blackmail, a person is only impervious to it if they are willing to call the blackmailer's bluff. Draco wasn't. As he said, he had a mother who needed him and employees who depended on his salary. He couldn't afford to tell the Minister to go to Hades, although I guarantee you he would have if Ginny hadn't been there listening! :D As for reviews, this has done nicely on FF and MNFF, so the ones here (where readers are serious about their ship ^_^) are the icing on a 'cake' that was very rewarding to 'bake', lol.

Name: CourtneyFaith reviewed Chapter 1 on Apr 15, 2007 08:00 am

~Really really sweet. I just love it.~

Author's Response: Draco cried in the loo to Myrtle. He's got a soft side he hides behind his snarky superiority. I'm glad you liked the story!

Name: pingpong0601 reviewed Chapter 1 on Apr 14, 2007 10:01 am

Wow! Great job, I loved this. It's very original. I thought the ending tied it up quite nicely as well.

Author's Response: Oh, thank you! I didn't have time to write a chapter fic, so a short story was the next best thing, and the tie-back was a fun way to end it! :]

Name: pens82 reviewed Chapter 1 on Apr 13, 2007 06:10 am

cuye

Author's Response: Merci beaucoup!