What a wonderful story! I love it!
This was great. I really enjoyed it.
awww. this is cute! i like it.
Author's Response: Thank you very much. ^.^
Aww! I loved it! Very original!
Author's Response: Aw! Thank you very much!
The story could done with a less sketchy background, because everything seemed to mushroom up from nowhere. It really makes my day to note how writers consistently give details of clothing priority over a simple view of the location. At first I thought Draco was in a street, and then came the tents, so I presumed a fairground. (I'm still fuzzily unclear on that count.) Then, boom, pop, and he's gone. Too fast, too dizzy, too gappy.
There was also a tense-error:
"He had yelled at her that all she was good at is hiding behind the scenes." "Is" should *not* have been there.
But nit-picking aside, I really liked this one. The Draco-Harry exchange made me laugh, and the fact that Neville had been handing out assignments just about explained everything.
Madame (married to whom? The Disney prince?) Ariel was distinctly memorable. A favourite bombshell, but a classic bombshell:
Ginny calculated this was the perfect time to drop the bomb. “He’s cheating on you with another guy.”
[She knew from letters by Harry, and various complaints from Ron, that Draco worked with the Department of Magical Law Enforcement.]
Various complaints from Ron— I might have choked myself laughing.
[“The soft lights, the mystical atmosphere. Where love just seems to hang in the air, like a mist surrounding the city.” He leaned closer until she was almost lost in the mercury depths of his eyes. “So, the Muggles don’t bother you?” he asked in the same voice.
“Not really. You get used to--” Ginny broke off and scowled.]
Classic bait. Classic sucker. I loved it.
But I didn't quite understand when Ginny says, “No, you wouldn’t. You hate the Dark Arts as much as, if not more than, Harry Potter. Using a Dark spell would be like admitting defeat to you.”
Does she mean using Dark spells equals Draco losing to himself in his fight against The Darkness Within, or is it something else?
Snape had stared at her and then replied shortly that she should have gone to Slytherin and the Sorting Hat must have gotten confused because of the Weasley hair— was a classic.
The ending reminded me of custard pudding: nice and sweet and creamy. “Neither does mine,” gave it a good punchline.
Author's Response:Wow. First, thank you for the long and in-depth review. I really like the fact someone liked the story well enough to notice all the details.
Ha, tense errors. I guess even two betas can't fix all my grammatical errors. I do realize that it seems like it popped up out of nowhere but I kind of rushed because I waited til the last minute on the exchange to finish this.
As for the Madame, where I come from, Madame is used to show respect and psychics demand respect, no?
I'm glad everyone liked the Draco-Harry banter I had a lot of fun writing that part. And Neville is just Neville, I love him though. ^^
And yes, I meant Draco losing himself to the Darkness Within. See originally I had planned to write a prequel to this story...but real life and stuff, y'know, resulted in only a couple of scenes written out. =P
Yes, I'm sucker for the classic baits.
I'm mostly an artist but I like writing every now and again so when some likes my stories it makes me happy. So thank you once again! ^//-//^
Oh, I really enjoyed this. Good job.
Author's Response: Really? Really? I love your stories so I'm really happy that you liked mine. Thank you!!
Can I review again? Please? *pouts* Its a different site!
This has just one of the best, cutest endings Ive ever read, and if I ever get to use that line in real life, I so will.
I cant believe Draco tricked Ginny! "Dont you mind the Muggles?" or something like that. Hes a tricky, sneaking Slytherin. Although, Ginnys very Slytherin-like, too, since shes hoodwinking poor Muggles. And, oh! The whole scene with, "Hes not cheating on you with another woman; hes cheating on you with another man," was hilarious!! I wish I were funny...
Wonderful! Hilarious!
Author's Response: lol. Yes you can review again. I'm sure there will come a time where you can use that line in real life...maybe. I'm glad you found it funny. Thanks again for the review.
I think that is great!
Author's Response: Thank you very much!