Name: Boogum reviewed 8. Coming Clean on Jan 20, 2011 06:45 pm

I've always liked this chapter, though I forgot all about the Blood Oath. The ending was very nice. ^_^

Name: wcoast_girl reviewed 8. Coming Clean on Jul 08, 2008 12:19 pm

Another great chapter. This story really should have more reads and reviews. I think its really very, very good. It started a little slow which may have put off some readers.
I only ever give contructive criticism to stories I really, really like (can't be bothered with those I am not so keen on) so I hope you will take my musings as feedback with the best intentions.
1. I think this story would work better if they were adults. There is no obvious reason why they have to be Hogwarts age and it just feels like they wouldn't be this mature if Ginny is really 16. I just think you could do more if they were just a little bit older.
2. Looking back now (8 chapters in) I wonder if the visions in the first few chapters should be shorter - less detailed than when the events really happen. When I read those sections (like when she first meets Draco), it felt like an exact repeat of the vision. If the visions were a little less detailed, it would add to the mystery of it all and make the real life sections a bit more interesting. Although, with the latest vision/action - that worked REALLY well as the vision was vague and then when it really happened we got all the action.
Overall - I really do like this. I get a little thrill when I see you've updated!! I look forward to the next installment.

Author's Response: First of all, thank you so much for the review, and the constructive criticism. I have taken it as you meant it. rnrnFor your first point, Ginny's actually seventeen in my fic (making Draco eighteen), and while one year may not make a huge difference in the real world, I've tried to show how much the war has affected both Ginny and Draco and how it has forced them mature more quickly than they would have done in a warless wizarding society. I've also tried to balance the cast, if you'll allow the terminology. Fiona and Maurice both are more youthful in their demeanour and reactions, and I think (though I may be wrong) that they temper out not only the gravity of the situation but also Draco and Ginny's tendency to lean toward the serious end of the spectrum. And then there's Adrienne, who is just plain grumpy :)rnrnAs for your second point, I agree. If I had the time to go back and rewrite the first three or four chapters I would definitely make some alterations to the length and detail of the original visions. When I began, my intentions were to give readers a little bit of action to tide them over until she made it to France. Also, Ginny's the development of Ginny's 'inner eye' has rushed off in a totally different direction than I had planned, as will be demonstrated in the next chapter, so I am now regretting how I handled earlier visions. If I ever get around to a revision, I will most definitely change that.rnrnAgain, thank you so much, not only for reading the story, but taking the time to leave such a detailed and constructive review! You're every author's dream reviewer. I think I mentioned it in my author's note, but chapter nine is almost finished and I'm hoping *crosses fingers* to submit it this weekend.rnrn

Name: slygal reviewed 8. Coming Clean on Jul 07, 2008 08:14 pm

That was a detailed and demanding chapter! You have so much going on... I can't wait for your next update. I am glad you pointed out about "free will" changing the future. Maybe that will help them soon!

Author's Response: Lol, detailed and demanding are what I do best ;) You're right, there is a lot going on, and there's going to be even more added to it in the next chapter. 'Free will' seemed to be a big theme in canon, and I tried to carry that over here because it applies to everyone, not just those who are unfortunate enough to have prophecies attached to them. Thank you so much for the review. It made me smile :D

Name: mahek210 reviewed 8. Coming Clean on Jul 07, 2008 12:23 am

wow!!!really kool chap!!ohhh this story has a lot of potential...really wanna c how fate brings them 2gether!!lolz wonder wht draco wld do if ginny tells him abt them!!haa tat wld b an pretty dramatic scene!!:P wld love 2 read more soon!!!:)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! This is going to be a pretty long story, but I'm not going to keep you waiting forever. The next chapter is almost finished, and I hope to have it up within the week. Thanks again for reviewing!