Name: Boogum reviewed
Hello, I Must Be Going Now on Nov 03, 2009 10:09 pm
Hrm...things are still a little abrupt. I just feel like things could be pushed so much further, especially in regards to the emotions and such. We don't really know what the characters are feeling. It's sort of feels to me like you're just skimming the surface.
Still, I can appreciate that this is quite the storyline to tackle. Draco must have been really drunk/desperate to go off with redheaded hookers.
Name: Boogum reviewed
Like Two Ships Passing in the Alley on Nov 03, 2009 10:00 pm
*laughs* Poor Draco getting all upset over the bruises when it was just Potter getting a bit to excited for his own good.
This chapter was better than the first, though some of it did feel a bit like a summary. Again, I know that you're setting the story up and still getting past the beginning phases, so I won't hold it against you. It's always good to balance the description with the dialogue/events, though. Perhaps try to get more into the scenes and use more imagery, or even explore the characters' feelings a bit more. I think it would help. :)
Name: Boogum reviewed
Chapter 1 on Nov 03, 2009 09:48 pm
Okay, I won't lie. I'm having trouble getting into this. You didn't really give enough explanation as to why Ginny decided to marry Harry. She just stated that she was and that was it. I seriously doubt it that her parents would force her to marry Harry just because they wanted her too. If they knew she didn't want to marry him, then they would let her go her own way.
That being said, I can understand why you did it. I just think you could have pushed further as to why 'she' had to do it. You explained Draco's reasons fine, but Ginny felt incredibly 'forced' in her actions.
I also recommend you consider how you have your characters speak. Right now it feels like they're speaking from a corny script. I don't mean to be harsh, but I can see that you have a lot of potential in your writing. Just think about what you're having your characters say and whether a 'real' person would really say that stuff, because right now Draco sounds like he's spouting romantic lines from the book of cliche.
Name: DGgirl reviewed
Chapter 5 on Nov 03, 2009 09:35 pm
This is an interesting story, but to be honest, it seems kind of bland. The characters just seem to spout off their feelings like reading dialogues off a page without even considering their surroundings or the people they are talking to. I think you need more imagery. It might also help you to create sort of a character profile for all the main characters, and define their personalities, how they behave around certain people, how they talk, etc.... it will help make this story much more realistic than it is right now. Good luck!
Name: Jack Tamara reviewed
Chapter 5 on Nov 03, 2009 08:57 pm
aww, this is cutee. i like that lucius isn't evil, b/c he's really more of a family man at the end of DH than an evil death eater. i feel like draco and ginny are turning more into friends, and while i want to hate harry, he's honestly a nice guy, so now i don't know what to think. good job and please update soon.
Author's Response: I will admitt I really have a thing for Lucius, I even have written several stories posted elsewhere with Lucius and Ginny. I have always liked him! And Yes Harry is not the bad guy here(as I have said before)
Name: Nutmeg44 reviewed
Chapter 4 on Oct 21, 2009 01:38 am
its so deliciously heartbreaking. i want more...i love them silently pining for each other. plz update soon :D
Author's Response: More is comeing!!!
Name: readhead1755 reviewed
Chapter 1 on Oct 18, 2009 10:18 am
Don't take the negative comments to heart. I am enjoying it and it is sad, but in the sadness is realism.
I can totally believe this set up and cant wait for more!
Author's Response: I don't I said at the being this story follows canon, and it will. and in the end I think everyone will be happy with the story!
Name: Teacup reviewed
Chapter 4 on Oct 17, 2009 05:08 pm
I have no idea why this fic is receiving so many negative reviews. Yes, so far, Ginny and Draco are not together, but that fact is stated fairly clearly in the story summary ...
I really enjoy the mood and atmosphere of this story. You write very well; my only wish is that you would lengthen chapters. I don't really mind the jumps in time, but I would like to have more details about their daily lives, rather than just quick fill-ins about landmark events every few years. Right now it almost reads like just a series of vignettes, and I am too intrigued to not want more!
Please give everyone a happy ending! They all deserve it. I am also interested to see what role Lucius and other family members may play. Looking forward to your next update!
Author's Response: I'm trying to show that live goes on. I'm trying to get to the end of the last book then I promise things will slow down. I hope to have the next chapter up in a couple of days!
Name: choravenclaw reviewed
Chapter 4 on Oct 17, 2009 01:12 pm
Please leave me a review, tell me what you like and don't like!
i don't make it a habit of lying on reviews and i won't start now
i hated this!
how come he doesn't get to keep her?
what are you gonna do?
let them be together right before death or sth?
a kiss to a dying erson's lips?
that's a load of crap!
i hated that you kept them apart and miserable for their whole lifes
i always suggest great fics to people, but this one lost the even worth reading rank
it's not!
this chapter screwed everything up!
she should have had a miscarriage, Astoria could die of child birth along with Scorpius and Harry could have fucking ied by a bus hit for all i care
i hated this, it's a horrible ending and even if it isn't the end it's already fucked up beyond repair unless this chapter is completely re-writen.
On a positive note; you write very well despite the fact that you skip time too much.
Author's Response: All good things come to those who wait. I mean how borning would the story have been if they got together by chapter two?
Name: choravenclaw reviewed
Chapter 1 on Sep 16, 2009 05:41 pm
oh ok then!
=D
I was just so worried because twice i've read a really long fic and it was all great and fantastic but the end was terrible!!!
So it's nice to know this!
I'll be sure to keep reading it!
Thanks!
kisses
Name: choravenclaw reviewed
Hello, I Must Be Going Now on Sep 16, 2009 03:57 pm
I just want it to be clear here. Harry Potter is not the bad guy here. He did not know of Ginny and Draco feelings for each other when he married Ginny.
Thanks for this note
still, from where i'm sitting he's the bad guy, the jerk, the ass, the all mighty WRONG man
I just really really wish you could settle this in a way Draco and Ginny could be together, kill Harry, send Astoria away with an affair from lack of love from her husband
anything like this, but if this fic is gonna end with either Draco or Ginny dead or if they aren't gonna be together then please please let me know for i hate bad endings and i cry on them and replay them over and over in my memory
Thanks
by the way, i really liked this chapter!
;)
Sorry if by this review it didn't seem that way, i just hate drama and sad endings!
kisses
Author's Response: I promise it will have a happy endding! you might have to wait for a while.
Name: headred33 reviewed
Like Two Ships Passing in the Alley on Aug 20, 2009 02:12 pm
i hope harry dies or something cuz i want d and g to be together! lol great fic, u have excellant writing skill and its an interesting plot. update soon!
Name: marahlynn reviewed
Like Two Ships Passing in the Alley on Aug 18, 2009 08:48 pm
ooooo I love the secret codes!! cant wait for more drama to come!
Name: shezachica85 reviewed
Like Two Ships Passing in the Alley on Aug 18, 2009 01:55 pm
Awww poor lovers
Name: choravenclaw reviewed
Chapter 1 on Aug 18, 2009 12:17 am
YAY!
Thank you!
now i can read without feeling that guilty pleasure, i do love D/G and i was feeling extremely guilty to be enjoying so much a fic where they are not together!
And by the way, i hate fanfiction Harry, and i believe most people who enter this site hate him too!
;)
kisses
Name: readhead1755 reviewed
Like Two Ships Passing in the Alley on Aug 17, 2009 05:02 pm
Is it wrong that I want Harry to be mean so that Draco can save her?
Author's Response: Don't hate Harry. He is as much a victim in this as Draco or Ginny. I mean honestly Ginny should have told him the truth before she married him. Don`t get me wrong I love Ginny with Draco, Lucius or even Severus. Harry and Ginny stories are just to boring. But I think you will love whats to come!
Name: choravenclaw reviewed
Like Two Ships Passing in the Alley on Aug 17, 2009 04:17 pm
I love this whole "Cross secret".
it's beautiful, and at the same time is like they are cheating on Harry's face, it's quite something, feels great to know he's been cheated on without even realizing
Sorry sometimes i let my hate for Harry talk higher and bring things out of poportions.
This chapter was a bit fast though, like everything went by in a blurr.
i do hope they end up together, it will be just cruel if they don't.
If they don't then please write an alternative ending, it's just plain cruel to see them apart!
kisses
Author's Response: I don't like Harry in fanfiction myself. well this story is not full written I believe you will be happy with the end!
Name: princessemalia reviewed
Chapter 1 on Jul 30, 2009 04:11 pm
I loved this chapter and I'm intrigued to see where you take this story :)
Good work!
Name: readhead1755 reviewed
Chapter 1 on Jul 30, 2009 07:24 am
There are TEARS. Running down my face right now. I love the start to this!
Name: Nakita reviewed
Chapter 1 on Jul 29, 2009 07:16 pm
I love it so far! I can't wait for the next chapter.
Name: malvia reviewed
Chapter 1 on Jul 29, 2009 04:51 pm
this had so much emotion, thank you, i loved it
Author's Response: Oh there much more to come!!!!
Name: dancingonstars reviewed
Chapter 1 on Jul 29, 2009 03:54 pm
aww wow such a bittersweet beginning. im interested in how you're going to have this story go because this chapter gives no hints as to their future. will they get together as two ancient old people? great beginning!
Author's Response: Thanks for your review! I have to let you read and discover what will happen But I know this is one of my own favorite stories! And i know the ending!