Name: MistyLane reviewed
Chapter 4 on Oct 06, 2011 10:34 pm
Enchanting. :)
Name: mollusque reviewed
Chapter 4 on Oct 04, 2011 01:19 am
Very nice story. Keep going!
Can't wait your up date.
Author's Response: It's coming any day now. Thanks. :)
Name: Flipinpenname reviewed
Chapter 4 on Oct 02, 2011 06:00 pm
i really like how you're writing this story. its different and it jumps back and forth between "present" and "past" which is a tad confusing at first but it works. haha. great job. hope you update soon!
Author's Response: Thank you very much! :)
Name: GoldenFawkes reviewed
Chapter 4 on Oct 02, 2011 09:54 am
Ahhh, finally. The start of something lovely, I hope? I don't like seeing them so far apart. I want to see them in love!
Author's Response: Oh, you romantic, you!
Name: Mungihead reviewed
Chapter 4 on Oct 01, 2011 02:30 pm
Oh, I'm so excited for the next chapter, especially after reading that last bit! Draco and Ginny have finally put their issues forward in the open-thank God. So hopefully there will be sparks and fluff? :) I'm glad Harry found someone-I hate it when he comes back and ruins relationships.
Can't wait for more, you're doing a fantastic job!!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo,
M :)
Author's Response: Sparks are already there, but fluff? In real life, there's really not much of it. There might be some in my story though, but not promises. Thank you so much for your review!
Name: silvertatooine reviewed
Chapter 4 on Oct 01, 2011 02:26 pm
I really like this so far, and can't wait to see how Gin and Draco's relationship progresses from here.
Author's Response: Me neither! :) Thanks!
Name: justwish reviewed
Chapter 4 on Oct 01, 2011 08:59 am
What a nice chapter! You can see that Draco is feeling something for Ginny because he is jealous of Harry and their past. I like the idea of the presents- the flying and the ice skating. I like how you throw in the time before the marriage. "All my brothers have pink room"- ha ha!
Author's Response: Yes, it took me some time to dream those presents up. ;) Thank you for the review.
Name: Anise reviewed
Chapter 4 on Sep 30, 2011 09:41 pm
(hands Serinah a large slice of chocolate cake with chocolate ice cream)
Or if you don't like chocolate, I saw a nice fruit tart. :)
I hope that you keep this fic as unusual and striking as it is. There are so many aspects that work exactly the way they're presented-- particularly the way you've chosen to reveal the subtle emotional growth of both Draco and Ginny in their relationship through a non-sequential narration of events. This is not easy to pull off (there's a reason why there was only one *Pulp Fiction*, and it's now almost twenty years later), but you're doing it very well. By its very nature, this type of writing style does not utilize transitions. I could go on and on in this vein, but trust me, this is a good fic... and I think I'll email you some of my other comments.
However, I will add one more thing: I really do not see how you are under an obligation of any kind to reveal the ending of your story before you have finished it. You have placed this fic in the Angst category, which certainly should clarify its nature sufficiently.
Author's Response: I absolutely LOVE chocolate! Thank you!
Name: msm_2011simonebb reviewed
Chapter 4 on Sep 30, 2011 08:58 pm
love the reading info before draco & ginny were married.. update soon !
Author's Response: Thanks. :) Will try.
Name: Almicene reviewed
Chapter 4 on Sep 30, 2011 01:04 pm
I like that you've kept with the narrator tone. It's a little bit jarring with the jump back and forth in time - perhaps work on the transition a little? I can see what you're trying to do and I feel it's almost there, but not quite perfect yet.
Oddly enough, I think my favorite line was Draco very in character - I'll promise you nothing til you make up your mind. It surprised me because I was expecting him to concede since it's apparent he's developing feelings for Ginny, but that's definitely something a defensive Draco would say. And I was surprised because it was unexpected yet perfectly in character when I thought about it. I like that he's somewhat ruthless, and he has his reasons for doing things, yet he has a soft spot for Ginny. I also really liked he pointed out the trap in answering her question, because it fits with how clever he is. And I especially loved his response when she demands that he answer. It's vague (Draco-like) and fits perfectly with a politician - answering the question without actually answering it.
I probably didn't like how bipolar Ginny was in this chapter - groping him one second and slapping him the next then lusting after him again then angry and comforting.
I'm never a fan of Ginny being some dim-witted, like having no idea that Draco likes her, because he pretty much clearly stated it here. So that would be another portion I didn't like about the chapter. If he was more vague then I'd understand, but in my mind (but perhaps not in your story) she's pretty sharp and would pick up on these clues. The only time she wouldn't is if she were super distracted and interested in someone else, or perhaps Draco being very subtle about it.
Probably favorite part of the chapter was from 'I havent touched you because you've..' to the end. That I felt was very real, and heartwarming and yet kept with the right pace of the story. Don't get me wrong I definitely want to see some D/G action, but pacing wise it was perfect for where you're at even if I'm going mad with impatience :P.
So I would say overall mixed feelings about the chapter:
-minus on Ginny's character/reactions here and the jumps in between past and present (I do like seeing the history, but it doesn't flow really well in your story right now)
-big plus on Draco's character/response. You've got that nailed here. Better than the other chapters.
I'm still keeping my fingers crossed for a happy ending, esp with the way it's going. But please if it's going to be a tragedy would you put that in the warnings/genre or something for the story, cause I don't want to read an unhappy ending, esp with the optimism/way it's going now?
Author's Response: Ha! You deleted your review! I saw, i saw! :P No matter, you expressed yourself very well in the first one. I do understand what you mean by different timeline scenes jarring each other. I actually spent unreasonable time copy-pasting them back and forth, being unhappy about the result no matter what, but until you pointed it out I had no idea what the problem was. Thanks! Sometimes you just need another brain to pick these thing out. I won't be rewriting it any more of corse, it would take a major rewrite which I'm not really interested any more, but as I'm sure I will be using the same format in the future, I'll know what to pay atention to. And I will take a look at the problem in the last two chapters.
I thank you on complementing my Draco. To tell you the truth, I'm pretty sure that cann Draco is not so smart, but yo never know, maybe the war really did wisen him up, most canon we see him as a child. About Ginny, I totally agree - she's not a dimwitted idiot and I hope that I will explain why she isn't seeing his affection for her. And if not, then keep im mind that she really is a bit drunk in that scene - can you imagine anyone acting like that unless they weren't? At least I hope that's the only time she's being really dim-witted. Because you know, in my mind Draco really is that outwardly unmovable block of ice that is almost clinically unable to let other people in or express his real feelings.
I've answered the question about the happy endings a hundred times it feels like. OK, only three I guess, but still. Well, I'm not oing to put out any warnings. I hate spoiling fictions. But you can check my other stories for clues. They are not as good though. I'm afraid this one will be my swan-song and I'll never write anything so good in my life. *whimper*
Name: ellajane13 reviewed
Chapter 4 on Sep 30, 2011 11:23 am
Every time I read the new chapter with this story, I love it even more. I was so pleased to see that you went the time skips route to where you are jumping back and forth between the past and present day. I feel that way of writing gives the reader more perspective and makes you anticipate what more will happen.
That being said, and my obvious obsession with this story, if you are looking to put out the next chapter sooner rather than later, I would be more than willing to be your BETA for a chapter or two. I only have one story on here but I am under the penname "Lucky Th13rteen" on ff.net and there are almost a dozen other one shots or stories on there. Message me here or there if you are interested, I would love to see your writing continued at your own pace rather than someone else's
Author's Response: Thanks! I would love to have another beta, but I think my fifth will be back soon, so no point in sendig it to you. I'll send you the sixth as soon as it's ready, alright? There actually is only two chapters left, fifth and sixth. I'll get in touch soon! Thanks again!
Name: Cara reviewed
Chapter 4 on Sep 30, 2011 09:03 am
The thing I really enjoy about this fic is that it is so realistic! Moreover the different time stages are very well developed.
And does Draco has/had a crush on Ginny? Things really get interesting now! Definitely looking forward to the next chapter!
Author's Response: Thank you, me too! :D
Name: Nutmeg44 reviewed
Chapter 4 on Sep 30, 2011 06:41 am
I love their confused reconcilliation. Now they can clear the air somewhat. Lovely. I can't wait until they're all googly-eyed over each other. Fluff rules! ;)
Author's Response: No, no, no! You've confused this story with someone else's. No fluff for me and if there is some, its accidental. I love happiness and hope, but fluff? I don't know...