Shields


Ginny Weasley stood outside the grand doorway to Malfoy Manor, tall and confident. She paused, and looked around herself before taking the ornate brass handle and knocking it against the wood.



~#~



It had happened suddenly, absolutely. More so than either would have expected or imagined. Argument ceased for the briefest of moments, and disinterest vanished. Neither would have called it dating, if questioned, which they never were, as no one knew what went on in secluded corners within the dark, uninviting maze of the dungeons below Hogwarts, or in the abandoned classrooms they occupied. The Head Boy’s room was off-limits to all but the teachers, none of whom wished to intrude on the sanctuary of the aptly named Slytherin Prince.


Two weeks after their encounters had begun, words were exchanged. A month after that, fevered taunts and barbs were infrequent; replaced with what could have almost been dubbed conversation. Three months since that first scorching kiss, she began to feel her life wouldn’t be the same without him. A glimpse of his face, the briefest echo of his voice was enough to quicken her heartbeat. She would watch out for a flash of platinum blond hair, listen for the characteristic drawl, needing it to be directed at her once again, though she knew that cruel derision was all she could expect to receive from him during daylight hours.


At night, no apologies were offered; Malfoys don’t express regret, but his touch was always more gentle when he had teased her in front of his companions. She took this as his own way of telling her he was sorry it had to be the way it was, and accepted the condolence more enthusiastically than her pride should have allowed. Whispered words made their way to her ears when she lay by his side, and though they were never the three she wished for the most, they were kind in comparison, and gentle. She could have lived forever on the little communication he offered, and her own was given eagerly, pouring forth relentlessly, even without the declarations she saved somewhere deep inside. She wanted him to understand her, to occupy his mind as thoughts of him consumed hers, if only for the time they were together.


With only two months to go until the end of the school year, Ginny knew things could not continue as they had been. He had his NEWTs, and then he would leave, to go where she could never follow. His father expected him to join the Death Eaters, and fight against her loved ones. Their meetings were infrequent, but he offered no explanation for his absence.


Their parting was a complete paradox. After the fire of beginning, the intensity of their relationship had been a constant. Draco’s words to her had been fervent; almost earnest if she analysed them deep enough. It ended suddenly, absolutely, cruelly. The day of his final exam, she had gone to find him down in one of the classrooms they had frequented previously.


He had met her there as before, but instead of immediately grasping her to him for a kiss, he looked down his nose at her dispassionately.


“It’s been interesting, Ginevra, but I’ve tired of this… association. There is nothing further I want from you.”


She felt her throat constrict and her chest felt as though it were on fire. She stared at him, wishing comprehension or even identifiable emotion would come.


He ignored her disbelieving expression, and took a step away from her to observe his work critically; much as an artist might have surveyed a painting. The damage he’d done was clear. Of all the tears she had tried her best to hold back, only one had escaped down her cheek, but it ruined her valiant effort to remain unmoved. He appeared satisfied; a sort of release came over his face. He motioned with his hand for her to leave.



~#~



So ended their ‘relationship’. After the initial shock, she had regained enough composure to brush the offending tear from her face, and returned his icy gaze with equanimity. She had returned to Gryffindor Tower, and sat on her bed, knees pulled into her chest, staring into the thick red curtains which surrounded it. Two hours later, her roommate found her in the same position, and the tears came.



~#~



After the last few weeks of sixth year were over, she had a summer to recover, not entirely sure if the thought that she would probably never see him again was comforting or not. In the middle of her final year at Hogwarts, open war broke out. Ginny had gratefully thrown herself into training, as was expected of seventh years. She had battled alongside her friends, knowing full well that some of them might not return, that she might not return. Memories of platinum hair, fantasies of the impassive features troubled her little in those days. The nights, she could not escape, but she endured them, shoved those thoughts to the back of her mind, where all old fears, hopes and loves lay.


The war was won before her nineteenth birthday, and celebration began. People walked down the streets with the happy disbelief that they had survived; that they had their lives ahead of them. She realised the relevance of that insight, and moved onwards, upwards, never glancing back, never wondering if he had survived, or if he lay awake at night, idle dreams of the girl he had wounded flitting through his mind. She lived, and so life, as she could now call it, improved.



~#~



And here, five years after they had last met, she stood outside the entrance to his home, wearing a brave countenance with her warm clothes. Within seconds of her knocking, the door opened to reveal a House Elf. Ginny smiled kindly at the creature.


“Is your master home?”


The elf gave her a look she had never thought she’d see on a House Elf. He scrutinized her.


“Auror?”


“Well yes, but that’s not why I’m here…”


“Aurors are not allowed on Malfoy grounds, miss.” The surprisingly articulate elf glared at her indignantly. She began to feel annoyed. This was not what she had come for. Before she could protest, the door swung closed.



~#~




Draco Malfoy heard the sound of knocking resounding through the halls from his study. He heard Leatus open the door, but the elf returned less than a minute later, without company. Draco waited for his explanation.


“Auror, Master. I sent her away.”


“Her? The Ministry actually sent a woman on a raid? Was she alone?”


Draco did not think of the solitary female Auror he knew, had known, because it would be idiocy to consider the possibility that she would have made a personal call.


The House Elf nodded in affirmation to Draco’s question. “Yes, Master. She--“


He was cut off by the hammering on the door. Draco stood slowly, amusement in his eyes.


“I’ll deal with her, Leatus. She may be worth meeting; she’s dared to knock a second time after all.”



~#~



Trust Draco Malfoy to have an elf as disdainful as himself, Ginny thought angrily. She didn’t need this; she had hoped it could even have been over by now. Once again, she reached for the brass handle and brought it down hard on the surface of the wood. Taking a deep breath, she fixed a glare at the point she knew the elf’s head would be.


The door swung open, but she didn’t see the face of a House Elf. Instead, her frown was directed at a pair of legs in charcoal trousers. Paling slightly, she brought her eyes up to his face.


A myriad of emotions flashed over grey eyes; surprise, initially, what could almost have been hope, fear, and then back to ice. She turned her head away; the remaining ability to read what little emotional response he offered was disconcerting.


“What can I do for you?” His tone may have sounded neutral to many, but, to her surprise, undercurrents of feeling were present there. Still, she was here for a reason, and she wouldn’t allow him the pleasure of knowing that he had affected her at all. She had built her own armour, and would expose nothing to him.


“I wanted to talk.”


He nodded, and stepped aside for her to enter. She brushed past him without a backwards glance, though she couldn’t know where she was headed. Apparently realising this, she stopped at the end of the hallway, but when he opened a door just in front of her, she showed no embarrassment.



~#~



Draco was taken aback at the cold figure she presented. This wasn’t the girl he had known in Hogwarts, whose emotions had been fierce, open, beautiful. Her passionate nature, though complicated was comprehensible, even when she would imitate his own self restraint. Had he done this? She had loved him, he knew that much; he hadn’t been ashamed to look into her mind back then, to confirm what her looks displayed. Now, he was sure, her mind would be as closed as her face was.

Ginny sat down on a wooden chair by the fire, her back straight, her face still betraying nothing. She appeared to be avoiding comfort, a reaction Draco could understand. He sat across from her, waiting for an explanation of her unannounced presence.


After a brief silence, she looked up.


“I’m aware you don’t wish for my conversation, but I won’t impose on you for very long.”


Draco opened his mouth. For what, he wasn’t sure, as she wouldn’t believe anything he told her now. She didn’t notice anyway; though her face was turned in his direction her eyes were far away.


“I came to show you that I’m whole. You haven’t broken me.”


“I didn’t intend--“


“I’m in love.”


With those three impulsive words, she looked straight into his eyes, triumph evident in her voice. He chanced a look at her left hand, and swallowed convulsively. She was no longer his. But he had known that already.


“How do you feel?” If she noticed that his words were spoken in a strangled whisper, she didn’t comment. A defiant smile crept over her face.


“I feel beautiful again.”


Unable to stop himself, he burst out, “Who?”


The happy look left as suddenly as it had appeared. “What is it to you?”


“Nothing.” And it never would be anything again, he was certain.


“Anyway,” her tone regained the business-like quality it had lost during her confession. “I came to give you this.” From her pocket, she brought out a box. Draco shook his head. He knew what it contained, and to see it again would push him over the edge.


“No. It was a gift. You keep it.”


“It brings back memories. I don’t want it in my house.”


“Are your memories that bad?” he asked softly.


“They’re tainted, Malfoy. Don’t act as if you care. Don’t act as if you have done nothing to hurt me! You remember that day as well as I do. Now take it!”


She thrust the box at him and the lid fell open. There was something accusatory about the soft sparkle of platinum and emeralds. When he had given it to her, he told her she was his, that he wouldn’t allow anyone else to touch her. It had been the closest he ever came to telling her how he felt. Seeing the necklace now, when her own feelings were so decidedly against him, brought home all which he had thrown away.


He chanced a look at her, wondering at how flashes of the girl he had adored at school came through now, more and more frequently.


She must have noticed him staring. “Why?” He held his breath as she asked what she hadn’t quite been able to five years ago. “You meant every word, didn’t you?”


“Aren’t you in love? Why do you need me to answer that?” Draco didn’t relish the idea of deceiving her the same way, for a second time. Yet, she had moved on; she could be happy. He wasn’t about to stand in her way for something as trivial as his own feelings.


“Answer me.”



~#~



Ginny knew her armour had failed, but she was past caring. She needed to understand. For her own sake, she needed a real conclusion to what had been the happiest year of her life.


“I saw that you loved me. You didn’t hide it as well as you should have, and I found out.”


He walked across the room and grasped her hands, making her face him.


“I don’t need your love. I didn’t need it then and I won’t need it now. Go back to your fiancé; if he makes you happy then hold on to him, whoever he is. There is nothing for you here.”


“I hadn’t intended to give that impression,” she bit out. “Surely you cannot think that highly of yourself; to imagine that I would crawl back to you after all these years? I’m not the naïve girl you knew in school, Malfoy. I don’t want your indulgence and I don’t want reminders of you lingering behind with me. If you will refuse to offer a real explanation, then I won’t waste another second here.”


Ginny didn’t look at him as she turned to walk through the door. She knew she wouldn’t look back, either.



~#~



She turned to leave, and almost made it to the door of the spacious room. Draco stood for a moment, confronted for the second time in his life with the unavoidable concept that he might never see her again.


“You couldn’t have done it otherwise,” he blurted out.


Ginny turned once more, and he caught the expression of surprise before she quashed it with the indifferent mask.


“Didn’t what I did to you make you stronger? Fighting that war, without the fear that you would kill me; one of the many anonymous monsters who faced you? If you hadn’t hated me, you wouldn’t have survived that war. I’m glad I did what I did.”


Draco let out a breath he had been holding for five years. Without checking to discern her reaction, he rang a bell on the desk next to him.


The old House Elf appeared almost instantly.


“Would you show Miss Weasley to the front door, Leatus?”


“Yes, Master.” The old elf moved to tug at Ginny’s coat while she stood, completely static, staring in Draco’s direction. He refused to meet her eyes.


“Seamus Finnigan,” as Leatus began to lead her to the door, she whispered again. “It’s Seamus Finnigan.”


~