Disclaimer: I disclaim all Harry Potter things, but I unfortunately own this plot.

Chapter one: the engagement.

Ginny watched as Ron went red in the face after she announced her engagement to Draco. Harry and Hermione (sans Snape) watched as his face then went purple from lack of oxygen then turned to Ginny, a loud thump sounding behind them.

"You're marrying Malfoy?" Harry asked.

"I just said that, didn't I? Jeez, I'm sure you've got selective hearing!" Ginny said, rolling her eyes at him.

Hermione revived Ron with her wand, and then patted Harry on the shoulder.

"It's all right, Harry. We all know that you don't mean to have selective hearing," she said then turned to Ginny. "Well, I can't say anything against you, so I hope you're happy with each other," Hermione said smiling at her.

"What do you mean you can't say anything against her? Why not? She's getting married to the Great Ferret!" Ron exclaimed in shock.

"I can't say anything against her because I'm dating a Slytherin," Hermione said with a shrug.

Ron and Harry stared at her in shock.

"You're dating a Slytherin? Yeah, right," Harry said with a laugh, hoping she was lying.

Hermione narrowed her eyes at him and Harry shut up quickly.

"You're ... But ... We're ... Who is he?" Ron managed to say, now glaring at her, his sister forgotten.

"Hello? This is about me, remember? I'm the one getting married to a Slytherin!" Ginny said waving her hands in front of their faces.

"I'll deal with you later," Ron muttered, still glaring at Hermione.

"Oh, please! I already know how this one's going to end!" Ginny muttered. "You're going to confess your love for Hermione and now the entire story is going to become about her and who she chooses!" she cried to Ron, who went red and glared. "Just choose Snape and get the whole suspense thing over with! It is so over rated!" Ginny muttered to Hermione.

"I know. I would choose Snape over Ron anyway," she muttered in return, ignoring both of the boys who were trying to listen to what they were saying. "Besides, Ron's not going to confess his love for me. I read a fan fiction like this a few weeks ago and the author made Ron and Harry go out," Hermione said, louder this time.

"Oh, come on! Why am I always in the slash stories? If it's not with Ron, then it's with Malfoy, or even Snape! I mean, I've seen a few that are between me and Dumbledore, for the god's sakes! Why don't I have any say in it?" Harry cried indignantly.

"Because no one cares about you. Now, can we please get back to the original story before we all get flamed?" Ginny asked looking at them.

"Fine," they muttered reluctantly.

"Do you have any idea what Mum and Dad are going to say?" Ron said glaring at Ginny, his face turning red again.

"Yes, actually," Ginny said grinning at him.

"How?" Ron asked, faltering.

"I already told them about it. Mum congratulated me and Dad fainted just like you did. I can't wait to see how Draco's parents react," she said.

"Lucius will kill him," Harry muttered. "Voldemort will keel over and die too ... Any chance you can send him a wedding invitation? It'll save me the hassle of having to kill him," he said, grinning at Ginny.

"Oh, I already did that. He said that he's going to come to the wedding," she responded with a shrug.

"What!" Ron said in shock. "You actually sent an invitation to your wedding to You-Know-Who?"

"Why not? It's a good twist for the otherwise-boring story line of this fan fiction," Ginny said.

"However true that may be, you just don't go around sending out wedding invitations to the evil guy!" Ron exclaimed.

"Bill and Fleur did!" Ginny protested.

"We did?" Bill asked Fleur, who shrugged in confusion.

"How'd they get here?" Harry whispered to Hermione.

"No idea, but they're gone now," she said, looking to the empty spot beside her.

"Can we get back to the fact that I am going to marry Draco Malfoy here? Honestly! This story is supposed to be about me and you aren't giving me any attention!" Ginny grumbled, folding her arms.

"Right ... Sorry!" Hermione and Harry said quickly, grinning guiltily.

"Thank you! Now, where were we?" Ginny asked with a frown.

"You were telling your brother about your parents’ response to your engagement," Snape said, appearing out of nowhere.

"Great. Thanks Severus," Ginny said, grinning at him.

As Harry and Ron turned their attention to Ginny, Hermione started snogging Severus behind them.

"Mum persuaded Dad into congratulating Draco and I on our engagement, and then we came back here to tell you," Ginny said.

"Great. I'm going to be related to the Great Ferret himself," Ron muttered.

"He's not thrilled about that either you know!" Ginny protested.

"Good! Then call off the marriage, and we'll all be happy!" Ron said quickly.

"That is not happening," she replied glaring at him.

"Fine! Shouldn't you go spend some time with your fiancé?" he mocked.

"Thanks for the idea!" Ginny said, and quickly left.

Harry turned to Ron in surprise.

"You're willingly letting her go to spend time with Malfoy?" he asked.

"For the moment. I want to know who Hermione's dating first. Then we can wreck their marriage," Ron said.

"Speaking of Hermione ... Where did she go?" Harry asked.

"Wasn't Snape here a moment ago too?" Ron asked, frowning.

Looking at each other, they both shrugged.

"Oh, well. Let's go see if someone knows who's she's dating," Ron said.

The two boys left the Gryffindor Tower quickly, going past a few broom cupboards along the way.

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(a/n: I hope you enjoyed the chapter!)

Disclaimer: I disclaim all, except this story and plot.

Chapter Two: the investigation

Ron looked at Harry and nodded briefly. Harry nodded in return and kicked the door open.

"Who is she dating?" Ron demanded.

Neville looked at the two boys in surprise, shock and fear.

"Who are you talking about? And did you really have to ask me while I'm taking a bath?" he asked, moving the bubbles discreetly.

"Hermione! She's supposed to be dating a Slytherin and we thought you'd know who it was," Harry said.

"I have no idea who she's dating! I didn't even know she was dating anyone. Why don't you ask Malfoy, isn't he marrying your sister or something?" Neville asked Ron, who went red and glowered.

"Not if I can help it," he said hotly.

"Could you stop glowering at my bath? The bubbles are getting frightened ... And look what you did to my rubber duck!" Neville exclaimed, indicating to the upside down yellow duck. "You killed Bob! You're a murderer!"

"No, I'm not! Whoever said so is lying!" Ron protested immediately, going red again.

Harry pulled him out of the bathroom quickly and shut the broken door, Neville screaming 'murderer' after them.

"We should go to the library. People there are bound to know who she's dating," Harry said.

Ron nodded and they left the prefect's bathroom quickly.

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Draco grinned at Ginny in the dim light. He had finally persuaded her into a closet for the third time that day. Thankfully it was one of the closets that didn't occupy Hermione and Snape...

"What are you grinning at?" Ginny huffed.

The door rattled, interrupting his response.

"It's locked and we're busy. Bugger off," Draco muttered, kissing Ginny hungrily.

"MALFOY?!" Ron's voice said, astounded. "Open the bloody door!"

"Go away, Ron. We didn't bother you when you were with Lavender," Ginny said, kissing Draco back.

Ron spluttered in response and started steaming out of the ears in anger.

"I think we've got the wrong closet, mate," Harry said pulling Ron away quickly, before he tried to open said closet and hex the couple into oblivion. "I was sure that girl said Hermione was in this closet. Maybe it was a different one. What do you think?" Harry asked Ron.

Ron didn't reply, his face frozen and his ears still steaming.

Harry sighed and shook his head. He took Ron back to the Common Room and tried to avoid being questioned. It wasn't too hard, due to the fact that the steam pouring from Ron's ears made everyone stay away from him, in case it was catching.

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Ron stopped steaming from the ears a few hours later. When Ron's face lost the expression of disgust, hate, and shock, Harry tentatively asked if he wanted to play a game of wizard's chess. Never one to turn down a game of wizard’s chess, Ron reluctantly agreed and beat Harry easily.

They left the Common Room and asked a few more people if they knew about Hermione's mystery date. Most of the people weren't very helpful, having heard about them killing poor defenceless little Bob.

More than annoyed, Ron and Harry returned to the Common Room to wait for Hermione or Ginny to come back.

After four hours, ten games of chess, and eight Butterbeers each, Ron and Harry decided that the girls weren't coming back for the night. Refusing to contemplate, much less discuss where Ginny and Hermione were staying for the night, they went up to their dormitory.

Neville glared at them as they came in and shut the curtains around his bed with a loud 'humph'. Ron rolled his eyes and changed into his pyjamas, getting in bed. He looked over to Harry.

"So. How are we going to destroy their wedding?" Ron asked.

"We could set fireworks off?" Harry suggested.

Ron shook his head.

"That's something Fred and George would do. We're not them. Next suggestion," Ron said.

"We could ruin Ginny's dress so she can't get married."

"If you want Mum to kill you for ruining the wedding dress, you can do that," Ron replied sarcastically.

Harry looked nervous and shook his head. Trying to think of something else, they sat in silence for a good five minutes. Finally, Harry thought of another suggestion.

"We can object to them getting married," he said.

"Excellent! We'll have to wait until the last second so we can object and run," Ron mused. "We'll have to find somewhere to hide too," he added.

"The Shrieking Shack is still up. We can go there," Harry said.

"Great! So we'll wreck their wedding and hide in the Shrieking Shack until it all cools over," Ron said happily.

Harry yawned widely.

"I'm glad that's settled! We can find out who Hermione's with tomorrow. 'Night Ron," Harry said with another yawn. He was asleep in seconds, snoring loudly.

Ron yawned too and fell asleep soon afterwards.

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Since this story is about Draco and Ginny, there should really be something about them. Especially since Ginny is now in possession of a wand...

Draco unlocked the closet reluctantly as his fiancée pointed her wand at him.

"Thank you! Now ... I've found a fairly good fan fiction with us in it. The spelling's not too bad, but they keep calling me Virginia for some reason! And we're only in a closet twice, which should be good enough for you!"

"Two times out of how many?" Draco asked as he quickly followed her down to the dungeons.

"About eight," Ginny replied with a shrug.

"Right. Any kids?"

"Not yet," Ginny said.

"Are we poor or rich? And are we in Malfoy Manor, or have they shacked us up in some horribly small apartment?" Draco asked.

"Rich ... " Ginny said, reluctant to reply to his second question.

"And? Manor or apartment?" Draco asked sternly.

"We're in an apartment in the Muggle world," Ginny replied in a quiet voice.

"No! I refuse to be in the Muggle world! And in an apartment is even worse! Surely they can't just put us in the Manor?! Why aren't we in the Manor?"

"You burnt it to the ground," Ginny replied in an even quieter voice.

Draco paled and shook his head.

"Well that's another fan fiction that's going in the fireplace!" he muttered, hurrying to his room to burn the offending piece of parchment.

"Draco! Don't burn it! It's really quite good!" Ginny called, running after him quickly.

"It's getting burnt immediately and then I'm flushing the ashes down the toilet!" Draco yelled, running even faster down to his room. "And then I'm going to find the author of the story and burn them to the ground! How dare they make the Manor burn down! Don't they realise that we have spells against such things? Stupid author!" Draco muttered.

Ginny just shook her head and hurried after him again. She was going to make him read it, even if she had to tie him down to a chair! Maybe she should mention that there was chair sex in the fan fiction too, just to get him in a happier mood...

"Draco! Wait for me!" she called, hurrying so she was beside him.

Getting her wand out, she put a delaying spell on him and hurried to his room quickly. She opened the portrait and sweltered at the heat in the room. The fireplace was still going! It had been on all day and it was still going, despite the hot temperature of the room! She took her robes off quickly, going down to a shirt and skirt. Draco arrived in time to see her taking off her clothes and grinned.

"Well, if that's why you put the delaying spell on me, then you could have just asked for me to wait outside, you know!" he said, kissing her.

Ginny was going to protest then shrugged. Maybe this would get his mind off burning the fan fiction...

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(a/n: I hope you enjoyed the second chapter!)

Disclaimer: I still own this story, but nothing else, not even the characters. I think they’re grateful for that.

Chapter Three: the wedding

Ginny looked at her soon-to-be husband as she walked down the aisle. She briefly wondered why they were inside a Volde-mart supermarket, then just blamed it on the author and returned her attention to her wedding...

Harry and Ron glared at Draco, completely oblivious to the fact that his best man, Severus Snape, was slipping away and even more oblivious to Hermione, who had started to move away from them.

Arthur looked to his wife and she glared at him, nodding for him to give Ginny's hand to Draco. With a sigh, he offered his hand to Draco.

"You hurt her and I'll set the garden hose on you," Arthur threatened.

"Not the garden hose, Daddy! Go sit down with Mum or else I'll tell her what you said!" Ginny said, and her father reluctantly did as he was told. "The garden hose killed the last boy I brought home," she muttered. "The one before that is still tied up in the garage and Daddy won't let him out."

Draco paled in shock.

"Is that legal?" he asked in shock.

"Probably. Daddy did write the laws about Muggle artefacts," Ginny replied with a shrug.

"Ahem ... Do you want to get married or not?" Albus asked them impatiently.

"Sorry! Go ahead," Ginny said with an innocent smile.

"Thank you. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union between this man and woman. If anyone has any objections, please state them now so we don't have to waste another hour before the buffet," Albus said looking over the crowd hopefully.

Molly nudged Arthur, who had begun to rise and he sat again promptly. Just as Ron and Harry were about to stand up, a loud noise came from the back of the Volde-mart.

Lucius and Voldemort appeared, wands drawn.

"Do you have an objection to this wedding?" Albus enquired looking at them over his glasses.

"Uh ... No. We were invited, we just arrived late," Lucius said.

"We're also here to kill Harry Potter!" Voldemort yelled.

"Could you do it after the wedding then? We're at a critical stage here; it's the decision between the wedding and the buffet!" Albus said crossly.

"No! This cannot wait! I've been waiting for this moment for how ever many years I've been waiting!" Voldemort said. "Besides, I own this Volde-mart and no one informed me of this wedding taking place!"

"Actually, we did. You got the invitation too, remember?" Lucius whispered beside him.

"Oh, yes ... Indeed I did. Well then, this is awkward," he said with a cough. "What was I saying before? Oh, that's right! I'm here to kill Potter!" Voldemort demanded, walking down the aisle threateningly.

"You will not ruin my daughter's wedding!" Molly said, standing up and glaring at him.

"You didn't tell me the mother of the bride was going to be here! You foolish idiot!" Voldemort yelled at Lucius, then screamed like a little girl and ran.

"Oh, no you don't! You'll probably come back during the reception to try and ruin her wedding again!" Molly said angrily, stalking after him and grabbing Voldemort by the back of the robes. "Bad Voldemort! Bad! Apologise to my daughter this instant!" Molly said.

"I'm sorry!" Voldemort whimpered.

"What are you sorry for?" Molly asked glaring at him.

"I'm sorry for interrupting their wedding!"

"Good. Now, since you were invited, sit on the groom's side and watch the ceremony," Molly said, pushing Lucius and Voldemort to the front of the aisle. "Sorry, Albus. You may continue," Molly said calmly now, smiling at him.

Voldemort and Lucius sat down quickly, whispering to each other. Albus nodded, slightly nervous and coughed noisily before continuing.

"As no one has any objections, you are all forced to listen to me drabble on for another hour before we can get to the buffet! Thank you all very much!" Albus said sarcastically.

"We object!" Lucius and Voldemort shouted quickly.

"AVADA KEDAVRA!" Molly shouted and a bright green light shot out of her wand.

Voldemort and Lucius died from the mother of the bride's wrath.

It was at that moment that Harry and Ron decided not to ruin Ginny's wedding...

As Lucius and Voldemort's lifeless bodies fell, they somehow managed to fall onto a closet that was nowhere near them. The doors opened and everyone gasped in shock.

"Hermione?" Ron said weakly, staring at her and going an awful shade of green at the same time.

"Snape?" Harry said, turning and running to the public toilets at the other end of the Volde-mart.

"Oh, please! You all knew this was bound to happen sooner or later!" Hermione said, rolling her eyes.

Ron fainted as she closed the doors again.

"Mum! Ron's fainted and being an attention seeker! He's ruining my wedding!" Ginny said with a pout.

Draco looked happy, hoping the Weasel would get knocked off too.

"Ronald Bilius Weasley! Get off the ground this instant and stop ruining your sister's wedding!" Molly yelled at him.

"Your middle name's Bilius?" Draco asked, spluttering with laughter as Ron sat up.

"Draco! Forgot these," Snape called as the closet door opened again.

Two rings were thrown to him. Draco caught them easily and slipped one on to Ginny's finger. She put the other ring on his finger and they kissed soundly. They were halfway down the aisle when Albus stopped them.

"I haven't even finished the ceremony!" he said.

Ginny and Draco started to go back to him, looking disappointed.

"Wait, what am I complaining about? Buffet, here I come! You're now pronounced husband and wife!" Albus said, clapping them both on the back as he passed them to hurry to the reception.

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Ron and Harry sat at the reception with green faces, not touching their food at all.

"I can't believe this," Ron muttered. "Hermione's off with Snape of all people! And my sister's married to the Great Ferret! Who the hell am I supposed to get with? The only other person here that isn't with someone else is you," Ron said looking at Harry.

"What!" Harry said looking around the reception quickly. "You're kidding me!" Harry muttered as he shook his head.

Ron was actually right for once! Everyone was with someone else... Even Moaning Myrtle was with Peeves!

Harry sighed and looked at Ron's hopeful face.

"Why is it always me in slash stories?! I'm going to start petitioning this!" he said angrily.

Ron rolled his eyes and kissed him. Harry and Ron let go of each other with content sighs.

"Well, maybe later," Harry muttered, pulling Ron back to him.

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Voldemort and Lucius were buried together, as requested in one of their wills. Voldemort's real name is written on the tomb with his alter-ego underneath in brackets. Lightning bolts hit the tomb every three seconds and their grave will soon fall into the sea; five kilometres away...

Bill and Fleur, who were mentioned in one chapter are married with no children yet and don't have any closets. They do, however, have a whip in their room...

Moaning Myrtle and Peeves somehow managed to get married and are now off on their honeymoon, annoying and complaining to people worldwide...

Molly and Arthur are still married. And it will stay that way unless Arthur has a death wish...

It is believed that Albus Dumbledore is still eating at the buffet to this day. Volde-mart is suffering because of it, and still has yet to find a counter-curse for the refilling spell Albus put on his plate...

Hermione and Snape were married soon after Draco and Ginny's wedding and lived in a closet with a lot of closets inside of it. You don't want to know how many...

Harry and Ron are still together, despite protesting from Harry. Ron still refuses to go to Hermione's closet-house...

Draco and Ginny lived happily ever after in the Manor with twelve closets, and somehow they had the same amount of children...

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(The end! I hope you enjoyed it!)