Potion Pals by draconis major
Summary: Our favorite enemies are made partners for a Potions project. Ginny doesn't know how she could be so unlucky. Draco isn't complaining.
Categories: Works in Progress Characters: None
Compliant with: None
Era: None
Genres: Humor
Warnings: None
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 2 Completed: No Word count: 3156 Read: 2374 Published: Nov 18, 2007 Updated: Dec 11, 2007

1. Trained Monkey by draconis major

2. Don't Call Me "Shirley" by draconis major

Trained Monkey by draconis major
Author's Notes:
I think this might be one of my favorite stories that I have written.

PS- I know some of my other fics show a slightly OoC Draco, but this one has him in all his snarky, smirking glory.
Ginny Weasley was peeved.

Ginny wanted to be a Healer, which required two years of Advanced Potions. She was perfectly fine with the class, she had always been good at potions, much to Snape’s utter displeasure. It was the people, or rather person, in it she couldn’t stand. The only class that fit into her schedule was the Slytherin class, meaning that she had to have class with the spawn of Satan, Draco Malfoy, who was – damn it all too hell – the only person in the class better than her. It was because of this rivalry that that slimy grease-ball Snape had made them partners for the mid-term project. That’s right. Partners. Ginny had to meet with Malfoy five days a week so they could brew their potion to have it ready on time. Their first meeting was tonight.

She ate quickly, pulverizing her food before it even entered her mouth, and then ran back to her room to use the loo and get her books. She walked slowly to Snape’s classroom and then to one of the small rooms that had been added onto it for the project. As she entered she saw that Draco wasn’t there yet. Lousy ferret didn’t care about anyone’s time but his own.

It was as she was setting out the ingredients that she felt another presence in the room. She quickly looked up, saw him standing haughtily in the doorway, then looked back down and said, “Way to be on time, Ferret.”

She could hear the smirk on his face when he said, “Nice to see you too, Weasel.”

Ginny huffed and continued to lay the items down. “Shut the hell up, you. You’re no help to me if you just stand in the doorway and make noise.” Again, she could picture the smirk growing wider in his face.

Malfoy sidled over without a care in the world as Ginny frantically checked and re-checked the list, hoping she hadn’t forgotten anything. She heard Malfoy chuckle and looked up at him with venom in her eyes. “What’s so funny, arsehole?”

Malfoy sat on then edge of the table and crossed his arms, smirking. “What’s so funny is the fact that you are acting like your life depends on whether or not you have enough powdered dragon claw. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m concerned about the project too, but I know that rushing around like your hair’s on fire - though look at the color, it might as well be - can only lead to mistakes that could have been easily avoided if you were calm.”

Ginny’s eyes were wild. “I swear to God, if I have to ask you to shut up one more time I am going to shove you out and lock the door, or, better yet, I’ll hex you then drag your mangled carcass into the hall so someone can pick you up and make you into a throw rug.”

Malfoy chuckled again. “Very ladylike, Weasel. However, the chances of me letting you hex me again are non-existent, so I am afraid that is an empty threat.”

Ginny slammed her fist down on the table. “That’s it, Malfoy. One more word and you’ll be adorning the space in front of my fire.” Then she turned away and said, “I don’t even understand why you’re here. There’s nothing you can do that I can’t teach a monkey to do better. Stupid, lousy, fucking Ferret.”

Malfoy sat with his jaw locked. The Weasel had hit a nerve. Meanwhile, he contemplated all the ‘nothings’ Ginny spoke of. Finally, his anger took over and he jumped off the table, grabbed her shoulders, and pushed her against the wall, kissing her fiercely. Let her find a monkey who could replace him in that aspect.

Ginny pushed him away with more force than Malfoy imagined she could possibly possess. “What the fuck, Malfoy!” Ginny screamed, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

Malfoy smirked and said, “Try to find a monkey to do that for you.” Then he walked out the door. “Time’s up. See you in class, Weasel.”

~~~

Ginny was horrified with herself. Malfoy had kissed her without her permission and yet she still couldn’t help noticing how large and muscular his broomstick-calloused hands were against her shoulders. Ginny shuddered then marked what they had and what they needed on the inventory list before walking out the door.

Tomorrow was going to come way too soon.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The next morning Ginny was practically falling asleep in her oatmeal. Seamus, who had always been very nice to her, had to keep grabbing her before she collapsed. “You alright there, young one?” he asked after the fourth rescue mission.

Ginny smiled weakly and pushed a strand of fly-away hair behind her ear. “Yeah, I’m okay. I just didn’t get much sleep last night.

“Oh,” said Seamus, still a little worried. “Well, do you at least want some coffee to wake you up a bit?”

“That would be great,” Ginny said with a genuine but very sleepy smile. “Thank you, Seamus,” she added as he handed her a full cup of coffee.

“Do you have any free periods today? Maybe you could take a quick nap,” Seamus suggested.

Ginny had been sipping at her coffee, but swallowed and said, “That’s a great idea; I think I’ll do that.”

“Good,” said Seamus with a smile, “I hate to find out you killed yourself when you fell asleep walking down a flight of stairs.”

Ginny laughed and said, “Well, I’ll try to stay alive until I can take a nap.” Then, looking at her watch she said, “Crap, we’ve got to get to class. Thanks for the coffee and the tip Seamus.”

He smiled and got up with her, handing her her bag. “You’re welcome, Ginny.”

They walked out of the Great Hall together before stopping at the doors. “Can I walk you to your next class?” Seamus asked. “I’m going up to Transfiguration.”

“Sorry, Seamus, but I have to go down to Potions. What a great way to start the day.”

Seamus groaned sympathetically and said, “Okay, well, I’d best be going. See you later, Ginny. And don’t forget to take a nap,” He added with a smile.

Ginny smiled too and said, “I won’t, Seamus. Bye.”

~~~

Ginny ran a hand through her long hair before twirling it up into a bun and clapping an elastic around it. If only Seamus knew what had been keeping her awake, he wouldn’t have been nearly as nice, in fact he probably would have looked at her like she’d grown a second head and avoided her like the plague for the rest of his life.

All night long thoughts of that puffed-up, snarky, handsome, muscular prick had run through her head. She couldn’t stop thinking about him, and when she finally got to sleep all she dreamt about was him, him and his icy blond hair that hung in his eyes perfectly…

Ginny shook her head and adjusted her bag on her shoulder as she stomped off to Potions and that insufferable, too-gorgeous-for his-own-good Malfoy.
End Notes:
New chapters forthcoming.

Please review :)
Don't Call Me "Shirley" by draconis major
Author's Notes:
I am loving writing this story. Hope you love reading it :)
Chapter 2

Potions went more smoothly than Ginny had expected. Snape, being the sadistic child-hater that he was, did not allow them any time to work on their projects in class, so they worked on that week’s potion, the Regeneration Elixir, by themselves in silence. What Ginny was a little unnerved about was that fact that Malfoy was even less aware of her than usual, and at the end of the class he just stalked out of the room without one glance her way.

However, even though she was annoyed at the fact that he didn’t pay attention to her, she was not in any way looking forward to that night’s meeting with him. But, because she was a good student and her chances of becoming a Healer if she failed the project were slim-to-none, she went, and was the first one there again.

When Malfoy finally showed up he saw Ginny sitting on the table with the list, in her cloak, mittens, and a hat. Malfoy gave her a confused look as he stood in the doorway again. “You do know the castle’s heated don’t you, Weasel?”

Ginny jumped off the table and stuffed the list in her pocket. “Shut your trap, Ferret. We’ve got to go to the greenhouses to get some fresh ingredients. You might want to get a cloak, it’s pretty cold out,” she added as she walked past him and out the door.

“Cloak, skmoak,” Ginny heard him say, “I’ve got multiple layers of muscles to keep me warm.”

Ginny just muttered, “Yeah, that and the giant ego surrounding you,” and started walking towards the stairs.

She thought she heard him chuckle, but she didn’t look back to check or see if he was following her, it wasn’t as if she desired his company. But, when she reached the front doors she saw a large, white hand come from behind her to open the door for her. Pompous prick or not, his etiquette lessons were obviously drilled into his skull and he couldn’t fight the impulse to open the door for a lady, even if that lady was Ginny Weasley.

“Thank you, Malfoy,” Ginny said sarcastically, “I might have to write you mother to tell her what a gentleman you are. Who can say chivalry is dead?”

Malfoy just rolled his eyes. “Don’t flatter yourself, Weasley. I’d slam this door in your arse if it didn’t go against every rule I’d ever been taught.”

Ginny strode through the door saying, “I take that back, if chivalry is dead it’s because you killed it.” Then, as the icy air hit her she muttered, “Holy fuck it’s cold.”

“Don’t be such a wussy, Weasel,” Malfoy said as he began walking down the steps.

“Shut up, Ferret. I just don’t like the cold is all.”

“Well, then why the fuck are you living here?” Malfoy said with a smirk.

“Because my mother won’t let me move to St. Barts,” Ginny said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Does it really matter? Just keep moving ‘cause I’m freezing my bits off.”

“Well that sucks for your boyfriend doesn’t it,” Malfoy drawled before taking out, to Ginny’s utter revulsion, a pack of cigarettes.

Ginny kept quiet while he took one out and lit it, but finally she couldn’t help herself and spit out, “You know you’d do better sticking that thing up your arse, it would probably be healthier for you.”

Malfoy took a long drag, exhaled, and said, “Yeah, it really gets in the way of my yoga.”

In response Ginny just moved further away from Draco and the long trail of smoke that came from the end of the cigarette. “That’s disgusting, and you know you’ll have to put it out when we get to the greenhouses, that thing could kill most of the plants we need.”

“All right, mother,” Malfoy said sarcastically.

They stayed quiet for the rest of the walk down to the greenhouses, where Ginny watched with a sickened expression as Malfoy took one last drag on the cigarette and then evenesco’d it. Ginny then instructed him to perform a cleaning spell so the stench in his clothes wouldn’t affect the plants, and when she was satisfied Malfoy once again opened the door for her and they entered the welcomed warmth of the greenhouses.

“So what do we need?” Malfoy asked as he closed the door and rubbed his cold hands together.

Ginny took off her mittens and got the list out of her pocket. “Not much, just some juniper berries, larkspur, fireweed, and blackthorn berries,” she said, reading off the list.

“All right then,” Malfoy said, walking up to the nearest one to him, the larkspur. “How much do we need?”

“A handful of each, we’ll measure it later,” Ginny said. Then she threw him two small bags and added, “Here, I’ve placed a charm on them so the herbs will stay fresh. You get the larkspur and the blackthorn, and I’ll get the other two,” she said, holding up her own two bags.

Malfoy just nodded and walked closer to the larkspur and began to pick off the small, purple buds and put them in the bag. During this he looked up to see that Ginny had taken off her cloak and that she wasn’t wearing her school robe underneath. He watched, fascinated, at how she meticulously examined each juniper berry before placing it in the bag, but his gaze was fixed on her bum. Each time she would bend down to see if there was a particularly fine berry she had missed, he would wait for her knickers to make some appearance. But, after a few minutes of no knickers Malfoy remembered just whose arse he was staring at and shook his head and looked back down to the larkspur, picking off buds with just as much thoroughness as she.

As she was picking off the berries Ginny could feel Malfoy’s gaze boring into her back. She wanted to turn to stare him down, but decided she would play with him instead. She kept bending down with exaggerated slowness to “examine” certain berries. She was aware of the length of her skirt, and therefore knew when to stop bending so he wouldn’t see any of the red fabric of her knickers. Finally, she heard movement again and determined that he had become discouraged and had gone back to working.

They worked in silence for about ten minutes before Malfoy broke the silence. “Was that little show all for me, Weasley?”

Ginny feigned ignorance and continued to pick berries. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Oh please,” Malfoy scoffed. Ginny noticed his voice growing closer, but she was unable to hear him move. Suddenly his voice was in her ear. “You can’t tell me, young Ginny Weasley, that you did not enjoy that kiss last night.”

Ginny’s pulse quickened, but her voice remained steady. “Watch me,” she said as she turned quickly. “I did not enjoy that kiss last night.” Her voice was less steady this time, though, because as she turned around she came face to face with him, his warm breath blowing her hair back.

“Nice try,” he said gruffly. “I might have actually believed you if you hadn’t said it so fast. Now come on, kiss me again.”

Ginny shoved her hands against his chest, trying to push him away. But as her hands touched the white of his school shirt he pushed against her and wrapped his arms around her, shoving his lips against hers with her hands still squished between them. Ginny tried to fight back, but he began kissing her so expertly, that her hands, which had still been trying to push him away, instead grabbed handfuls of his shirt and pulled him closer. As she pulled him to her he groaned, “Had a change of heart, Weasley?”

Ginny just moaned, “Shut up, Malfoy. Just shut up and kiss me.”

“As you wish,” Malfoy replied huskily.

They kissed frantically and Ginny began to loosen Malfoy’s tie and undo his shirt buttons. Malfoy groaned appreciatively as Ginny ran her hands over his hard chest and returned the favor by undoing her own tie and buttons. Suddenly, Ginny, who had been running her hands further and further across the wide expanse of his chest, yelped loudly and flung herself back from him, sticking a wounded finger in her mouth. “Holy fuck, Malfoy! What did you do to me?”

Malfoy smirked, he had to admit that she did look adorable sucking on her finger with her shirt half undone. “I didn’t do anything. It was Drago.”

“Drago?” Ginny asked with her mouth still full of finger.

Malfoy slowly removed his shirt and pointed to a large black shape above his right pec. Ginny wasn’t quite sure, but it seemed to be, “A dragon?”

“A tattoo of a dragon, to be more exact,” he explained.

Ginny examined it more closely. This little dragon – Drago, she presumed – was unlike any tattoo she had ever seen. Its uniqueness mainly came from the fact that it moved, not to mention it breathed fire, the probable source of her injury. “Let me get this straight,” Ginny said. “Not only do you have a tattoo, but it breathes hot fire made out of ink.”

“Wow, Weasley. You are smarter than you look,” Malfoy drawled.

“May I ask the significance of your tiny terror?”

“Hey,” Malfoy said sharply. “Nothing on me is tiny. But yes, you may. When I was younger I was unable to pronounce the name ‘Draco’, instead it came out ‘Drago’. From then on my mother called me ‘her little dragon’, not only because of my mild speech impediment, but also because my moods changed as quickly as a dragon’s.”

“I see,” Ginny responded slowly. “Well, as sexy as Drago is, do you think you could tell him to stop blowing fire for a bit? You see I only have so many fingers.”

“Of course.” Then he pulled his wand out of his pocket and tapped the tattoo once. Immediately Drago stopped moving. “Now,” Malfoy said as he put his wand away. “How about we get back to what we were doing before.”

“It’s like you read my mind, Malfoy-”

“Draco,” Malfoy interrupted. “My name is Draco, not Malfoy.”

“I will agree to call you Draco,” she let the name flow off her tongue in the sexiest manner she could achieve, “if you agree to call me Ginny.”

Malfoy quickly wrapped an arm around her waist and pushed her to him. “If you say my name like that every time, I will agree to call you McGonagall.”

“Alright, Draco,” Ginny said his name in the same way and added in an eyelash flutter that could have broken even the strongest of men.

“Holy shit, Ginny,” Draco said as he pushed his lips to hers and grabbed both of her legs. He lifted her up and she responded by wrapping them tightly around him as he walked to an empty table and placed her on top.

“Uhh, Draco,” Ginny moaned as Draco kissed and sucked on her neck. “You better be a good shag, ‘cause I haven’t had one in a long time.”

Draco chuckled and the sound reverberated in Ginny’s body. “I’m the best, Ginny. The best.”
End Notes:
In case you didn't get the title of the chapter, see the movie Airplane!

In case you don't want to go out and rent a movie, it relates to their agreement about calling each other by their first names. PS- The yoga line is from "Good Will Hunting", for those who picked up on it. PPS- If you haven't seen GWH, go rent it. Matt Damon is hott!!!
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