How to Wow Your Witch and The DIY Guide to Erectile Dysfunction Charms by lielabell
Summary: Ginny could hardly believe it. Draco Malfoy, that supercilious prat of a boy, had done something she wasn't sure she would have been capable of herself. Written for the D/G Fic Exchange 2008
Categories: Completed Short Stories Characters: Draco Malfoy, Ginny Weasley
Compliant with: All but epilogue
Era: Future AU
Genres: Humor
Warnings: None
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 2705 Read: 3140 Published: Jan 24, 2009 Updated: Jan 24, 2009
Story Notes:
Thanks a million to my wonderful beta, Megh!

1. Chapter 1 by lielabell

Chapter 1 by lielabell
Ginny eyed the books in front of the bloke across the counter from her and suppressed a laugh. How to Wow Your Witch and The DIY Guild to Erectile Dysfunction Charms were best sellers, to be sure, but somehow she had never thought that Draco Malfoy would be in need of their brand of advice. She slapped her bland salesperson smile on her face and reached for the books, trying not to let her amusement leak through.

She failed spectacularly, if the frown on Draco’s face was anything to go by. He crossed his arms over his chest. “They’re for a friend.”

Ginny raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

He lifted his chin, indicating the books she was ringing up. “Taking the mickey out of him, seeing as how it’s his stag night.”

“Interesting.” Ginny put the books into a bag and gave him another bland smile. “That’s two galleons, five sickles and a knut.”

The frown didn’t leave his face as he dug the money out of his pocket. Draco all but slammed it down on the counter and snatched up the bag. He whirled on the spot, Disapparating before Ginny could give him the company’s parting line. Smiling, Ginny motioned to the next person in line.

*~*~*


The last thing Ginny wanted to be doing right now was being stuck out in the middle of a storm and if she had any say in the matter, she wouldn’t be. Unfortunately for her, she didn’t. Not unless she wanted to break the appointment it had taken her three months to get. She pulled her jacket tighter around herself and scowled at her reflection a storefront window. It just wasn’t fair. Everyone with a functioning brain was home, curled in front of their fireplace with a big cup of tea, and here she was traipsing through Muggle London without so much as a water repellent spell in place.

Ginny let out a long sigh and hunched her shoulders as a particularly fierce gust of wind blasted her. It was still a ways longer to Diagon Alley and her appointment wouldn’t wait, so she scuttled out from under the scant protection of the awning and back into the wind driven rain. Her attention was focused on the ground in front of her as she tried to avoid any of the large puddles that dotted the street and so she didn’t see the man in front of her until she had nearly stepped on him.

“Pardon me,” she said quickly, glancing up with a flush. Draco Malfoy looked down at her with a wry expression on his face and Ginny winced. Of all the people she could have bumped into, it had to be him.

“Yes, of course.” He glanced back up the street with a bemused expression on his face.

Ginny leaned to the side to try and see what he was looking at, but whatever it was she couldn’t spot it. She returned her attention to Draco and felt her jaw drop. Here he was, rambling around outside on one of the worst days of the year and he didn’t have so much as a jumper on. The man must be freezing.

“Are you mental?” Ginny asked with a laugh.

Draco gave her a curious look. “Pardon?”

“Look at you, standing there in all this blasted rain, and without anything to protect you from it.”

“Oh, yes, well--” he trailed off, looking flustered.

“Don’t tell me you forget to bring one when you left home, no one is that dense,” Ginny teased.

“I bloody well had one when I left,” Draco answered, clearly perturbed. “But then I saw that fool of a girl wandering about in a slip of a dress and my charitable side got the best of me.”

“You gave your coat away?” Ginny could hardly believe it. Draco Malfoy, that supercilious prat of a boy, had done something she wasn’t sure she would have been capable of herself.

“No, I vanished it because it’s so balmy out,” he quipped. “Of course I gave it away.”

“To who?”

“What does it matter to you?”

Ginny lifted a shoulder. “Just curious.”

Draco’s lips thinned. “To Looney… To Luna, if you must know.”

“To Luna?” Ginny gave him a look of pure amazement. “The same Luna who’s married to Harry?”

“Do you know another one?”

“But why would you do that?”

Draco frowned. “Is it really so hard to believe that I would do something charitable? The poor girl has enough troubles without adding to them by coming down sick after dancing about in the rain.”

“But she’s married to Harry,” Ginny said, feeling stupid.

“Yes, and has three rather unfortunately named children. As I said, Luna has enough problems without adding to them.”

“There is absolutely nothing wrong with their names. Lily and James are quite common, in fact,” Ginny snapped, feeling defensive. After all, Harry was practically family and his children were delightful if slightly fey.

Draco gave her a smug smile. “And Albus?”

Ginny made a face. “It’s a tribute. Which is perfectly understandable.”

“Albus Severus?” Draco pressed.

“Oh, alright, it’s ridiculous. But Harry meant well and you should have heard the names Luna picked out.”

Draco smiled and it transformed his face. “Now that I can readily believe.”

Ginny looked at him, standing in the rain with his shirt plastered to his body and his lips faintly blue, and found herself grinning. She glanced up and down the street before removing her wand from her pocket. A moment later and the water was steaming off of Draco. She held out the slicker she had conjured and gave him an encouraging smile.

He snatched it out of her hands, his cheeks slightly flushed, and slipped into it. “Thank you,” he said grudgingly.

“It was nothing at all. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m running a bit late and really must be off.”

Draco opened his mouth and then promptly shut it. He gave her a stiff nod and then gestured for her to pass. Ginny hesitated, weighting her options, and then shook her head. She couldn’t wait another three months, no matter how tempting it might be.

*~*~*


Ginny was rushing as she rounded the corner, late to work again, and not paying attention to where she was going. So, of course, she slammed full force into a very disgruntled Draco Malfoy. He steadied her with one hand while the other held tight to a bag of what looked like used nappies. Ginny wrinkled her nose at the smell and stepped away from him with more speed than was necessary.

“Don’t you have house-elves for that?”

Draco let out a sigh. “I do, of course, but less fortunate families don’t, and the baby these belong to comes from the latter.”

Ginny gave him a tight smile as she skirted around him. “If that’s so, then what are you doing carting them around the street.”

“I’m carrying them to cleaner, since Pansy is indisposed and Longbottom is off doing whatever it is he does when he’s not doting on his wife and child.”

“Why take them to a cleaner? A quick charm will take care of them for you without the added cost.”

Draco gave her a look. “I’m told that sort of a charm is rather complicated and not at all easy to learn.”

Ginny snorted. “Tell that to someone who doesn’t have a combined total of nine nieces and nephews.” She pulled her wand out and preformed the charm. “Consider that my good deed for the month.”

Draco narrowed his eyes at her. “That didn’t seem complicated at all.”

“It wasn’t. I have the feeling that Pansy was having a bit of a laugh at your expense.” Ginny lifted a shoulder. “Then again, maybe she just never bothered to learn the charm and was covering for it.”

“Knowing Pansy, I’d say it was a mix of both.”

“Yes, well, whatever the case, the problem has been solved. I suggest that you either learn the charm yourself or make a point of not being around the next time Pansy needs someone to do her dirty work for her.”

Draco snorted. “How about you pick me out a nice book on the subject and having it waiting for me next time I come in?”

“I’ll see what I can do.” Ginny grinned. “Oh, and, we only hold books for up to a week, Mr. Malfoy. So be sure to come in before your time runs out.”

“Is that your way of guaranteeing that you’ll see me again?”

“No. If I wanted to do that then I would tell you that I work Tuesday to Saturday from nine to six and take lunch from twelve to one at the shop around the corner.”

Draco laughed. “I see the difference.”

“I’m sure you do.” Ginny nodded crisply. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I seem to be running late.”

“Seems to be a bit of a habit for you, doesn’t it?”

Ginny gave him a nasty look. “I don’t see how it is any of your business. Now get out of my way.”

“Yes, of course, anything you ask Miss Weasley,” Draco said with a wry smile, stepping to one side.

Ginny brushed by him, nose in the air, and practically skipped the rest of the way to work.

*~*~*


“Fancy seeing you here,” Ginny commented as she plopped down in the seat across from Draco. He looked up from his copy of The Daily Prophet with an arched eyebrow. Ginny nodded and continued. “Odd, isn’t it.” She nicked a chip off of his plate and nibbled on it while contemplating him.

Draco folded his paper. “How so?”

“Well, I’ve been eating here for over a year and I’ve never once seen you here before. And then I tell you that I frequent the place and you’ve been here every day this week.”

“Maybe I just decided that I like delis and this one is the closest to my office?”

Ginny nicked another chip. “That would be quite a coincidence, don’t you think?”

“Yes, very.” Draco pursed his lips. “Would you like a plate of your own?”

“Not really.” She licked the tips of her fingers. “I’ve already had my lunch and I’m overdue to be back.”

“Lovely seeing you.” With a flick, Draco opened his paper again and began perusing it. Ginny snagged a final chip and then stood.

“You know, I think I like you better when you’re on edge.”

Draco lowered the edge of the paper and gave her an inquiring look over the top of it. “Hum?”

“You blush.” Draco’s eyes narrowed and Ginny smiled. “And it gives that complexion of yours a hint of color.”

Draco said nothing. He just sat there with a slightly perturbed look on his face. Ginny laughed and shook her head. She snagged another chip and munched on it happily.

“I don’t blush,” he ground out. “Malfoys--”

“If you are about to say ‘never blush’ or something equally ridiculous, don’t bother,” Ginny interrupted.

His mouth snapped shut and Ginny was almost certain that she could see his jaw ticking. “Weren’t you leaving?”

“You going to eat that?” Ginny gestured towards the untouched sandwich with her chin.

Draco snatched up the sandwich with a defiant look and took a large bite, which squished a glob of whitish goop out of the end. Ginny watched with a sort of revolted fascination as it lost its precarious hold on the edge of the bread and dropped with a plop onto Draco’s immaculate robes. She slapped a hand over her mouth to keep the giggles in and shook her head.

“What?” Draco snapped. Ginny shook her head again, eyes locked on the blob. Was it mayonnaise? she wondered. Draco glanced down and then let out a yelp. He dropped the sandwich back onto the plate and snarled as he swiped at the stain with a handful of crumpled paper napkins.

“That’s never going to work,” she commented as Draco ground the gunk into the undoubtedly costly fabric. Draco didn’t answer, merely curled his lip up and continued his futile efforts. Ginny rolled her eyes and pulled out her wand. “Scourgify!”

Draco scowled. “Still haven’t mastered nonverbal spells?”

“You’re very welcome,” Ginny sniffed.

“I’d be more welcome if you left.” Draco picked his paper up and opened it with a snap and Ginny had the distinct feeling that he was hiding behind it.

“So,” she said after a moment of silence, “want to go to ‘round to the Longbottom’s with me on the fifth?”

The paper lowered far enough for Draco to scowl over the top of it at her. “Why in the name of Merlin would I want to do that?” he retreated back behind The Daily Prophet. “Pansy’s hosting some sort of couple’s party and, if you hadn’t noticed, I’m not paired up at the moment.”

“Yes, well, that’s the point.” Ginny crossed her arms over her chest and glared at the picture of waving flags currently blocking Draco’s face.

“Wait, are you asking me to go with you as a date?” Draco’s eyes emerged once more and Ginny wished they hadn’t. Then she would have had to see the mixture of confusion and amusement in them.

“Just figured that out, did you?”

Draco very carefully folded his paper and set it beside his plate. He leaned forward slightly, an unreadable expression on his face. “Care to explain that?”

Ginny sighed. This was not the reaction she had been expecting. She gave him a self-deprecating smile and then plopped back down into the chair across from him. “Simple, really. I need a date. You need a date. And, seeing as how you’re not as bad looking as you were back in Hogwarts, I figured we might as well give it a go.”

“Have you lost your mind?”

Ginny’s smile disappeared. “Apparently,” she said icily.

“But why?” Draco looked completely flummoxed. Ginny lifted a shoulder, feeling rather awkward. She well past beginning to regret having said anything at all. Draco continued to sit there, with that baffled expression on his face until awkward shifted into uncomfortable and uncomfortable into irrational.

“Is it really so hard to fathom?” she bit out, breaking the silence. He just sat there, stupid lump of a man, with his eyes narrowed at her in suspicion. “I fancy you, you thick git.”

“You what?” Draco spluttered.

Ginny let out an exasperated sigh, for the first time understanding what an enormous task Hermione had faced with Ron. “I fancy you,” she repeated softly. “And I want to spend time with you,” she paused, taking in his reaction, “one on one.”

Draco shook his head. “You’ve got even less brains that Longbottom.”

“Well, this has been a perfectly lovely chat,” Ginny said through gritted teeth as she rocketed to her feet. “But I really must be going.”

“Wait!” Draco reached out and caught hold of her wrist. “Stay. I know I’ve botched this and that you are well within your rights to storm out of here and never speak to me again, but stay.”

Ginny sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and gave him a squinty eyed look. “Why should I?”

Draco sucked in a breath. “Because I fancy you too. Why else would I be patronizing this,” he crinkled his nose, “shop. And, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, I’ve been in your little bookstore far more often than I ought to be.”

Ginny blinked and plunked back down. “Are you saying that you’ve been stalking me?”

“Hardly,” Draco scoffed. “Just making sure that you had plenty of opportunities to admire my masculine physique.”

Ginny laughed and shook her head. “You’re beyond belief.”

“It worked,” Draco replied with a smirk. “So, about this party…”

The End
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