Weasley and the Three Males by Boogum
Summary: Someone's been in to Ginny's chocolate. A DG version of Goldilocks and the Three Bears.
Categories: Completed Short Stories Characters: Draco Malfoy, Ginny Weasley
Compliant with: All but epilogue
Era: Post-Hogwarts
Genres: Humor, Romance
Warnings: None
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 2149 Read: 1443 Published: Nov 04, 2013 Updated: Nov 05, 2013
Story Notes:
Apparently, there is only one thing to do when you can't sleep, are craving chocolate, and are cursing the fact you were born female. WRITE DG FANFIC!

Gotta love my logic. In any case, I wrote this one-shot at 4am in the morning, so if it makes no sense I apologise. I won't be continuing it, but hopefully you'll find it satisfying enough. And if someone has finally created that device that allows you to transport food through the internet, just picture me like a lolcat being all 'I haz chocolate?' and take pity on this poor, deprived soul.

1. Weasley and the Three Males by Boogum

Weasley and the Three Males by Boogum
Draco entered the flat to the sounds of guttural cries and triumphant laughter. He rolled his eyes as he dumped his bag on the floor and began loosening his tie, making his way towards the communal living area. "Really, Blaise," he drawled, "can't you indulge in your bloodthirsty little hobby somewhere else? I have a headache and am not in the mood to listen to you kill people."

Blaise barely glanced up from his 'hobby', as Draco called it. "Can't talk right now. On the last level." He mashed a button on the controller in his hand and glared at the screen in front of him. "Die, you stupid thing! No, don't get stuck on the wall! ATTACK! ATTACK!"

The blond rolled his eyes again. "I'll show you an attack in a minute."

A low chuckle had him glancing to the left where a slender man with light-brown hair was sprawled on the couch, flicking through a magazine. Draco pursed his lips.

"This is all your fault, Theo," he observed. "I was against letting Weasley live with us from the start, but no, you just had to go and feel sorry for her. Now look what has happened. Blaise has been corrupted by these infernal Muggle devices and our flat smells like the whole citrus section had an orgy with some flowers."

The brunet picked up the mug resting on the table next to him and took a sip of his coffee.

"Are you even listening to me, Theo?"

"Oh, I'm listening," Theo said in a bored voice. "Sadly, no matter how much I try to ignore your drivel, my ears can't help but listen. It's one of the true tragedies of life."

Draco let out a snort. "Prick."

"Love you too, Sweetie," Theo responded, still not raising his eyes from the magazine.

Draco just shook his head and then walked towards the kitchen area, throwing open the fridge and scanning the food inside. He sighed and slammed the door shut, then moved onto the cupboards. "Maybe I should have stopped at the supermarket before coming home," he muttered, staring at the empty shelf that had been allotted for him.

As if to corroborate this statement, his stomach gave a loud grumble—the kind that refused to be ignored and demanded he put some sustenance in his belly straight away. That was when Draco spotted the block of chocolate sitting open on the bench. Well, what was left of it. There were only two rows remaining, and in his tired, half-starved state he swore that he could hear the cocoa-scented squares calling his name. Naturally, he broke off a row and began chewing, letting it melt in his mouth in a bundle of chocolatey, peanut butter goodness. Soooo good.

"Whose chocolate?" he asked, taking another bite.

Distracted, Blaise glanced over his shoulder. "What are you—NO!" He hit the pause button and then came rushing over, snatching the block of chocolate from Draco's hands. "Oh, man, you've already eaten most of it. Quick, spit it out. Maybe we can still salvage it somehow."

A crease formed on Draco's brow. "What the hell, Blaise? It's just chocolate." He glanced at Theo for support, but the brunet had his gaze fixed on the hallway that led to the bedrooms, looking like he was about to bolt any second. Suddenly, a sinking feeling formed in the pit of Draco's stomach. "Don't tell me," he muttered.

"Weasley," the three men said in unison, as if the name held the same terrifying power as Lord Voldemort, and should just as equally never be spoken.

There was a moment where they all held their breath, waiting, waiting, and then Draco heard the distinctive click of a door handle being turned, followed by footsteps. In a whoosh he exhaled, and then Blaise was shoving the chocolate back at him and making a mad dash for the armchair, while Theo picked up his magazine and held it so that it covered his face. Draco stared down at the wrapper in his hands, then quickly flung it away from him as if burned and joined Theo on the couch—and not a moment too soon. His back had barely pressed against the leather before Ginny appeared in the living area, wearing loose pyjama pants with teddy bears imprinted all over them and a plain red singlet. She looked harmless, except all three males knew from looking at the buzzy-bee hot water bottle she clutched to her stomach just how simple it would be to make her switch from cute redhead to vicious shrew.

She ran a hand through her tangled hair and frowned at Blaise. "Can you turn the volume down on your game? I can't read when all I can hear is explosions and gunfire."

"Sure thing," Blaise said a bit too enthusiastically.

Her eyebrows lifted a fraction, but if she found his eagerness to please a bit strange, she didn't comment on the matter and instead walked over to the cupboards and got out a glass, which she filled up with juice from the fridge. She leaned against the bench and took a small sip, watching the images flicker on the television. Draco was just beginning to relax again, thinking he was in the safe zone, when the redhead let out a small shriek. His shoulders tensed and he closed his eyes in a wince, already knowing what must have caused that indignant noise.

"Who's been into my chocolate?" she demanded, planting her glass down on the bench and stomping towards her flatmates. "Was it you, Blaise?"

The amber-eyed man shook his head, holding his hands up in an appeasing gesture. "I didn't touch it, I swear. I've been playing my game the whole ti—damn it! Think you can sneak up on me, you filthy locust! Let's see how you like my chainsaw!"

Ginny's eyebrows lifted higher, but Blaise was no longer paying attention to her, too busy trying to stop his character from dying. Even her Basilisk glare didn't work, yet instead of making her angrier (as Draco hoped it would, so that she might be distracted from the chocolate theft), Blaise's total absorption with the game somehow convinced her that he was indeed telling the truth. Draco thought he should have known. Ginny was like a trained hunting dog: once she got hold of a scent, she never gave up until she found her target.

Her gaze shifted to Theo, who still had the magazine covering his face and looked as if he was trying to sink into the seat and disappear from view. She eyed him in an assessing way and then rounded on Draco, her brown eyes sparkling with rage.

"It was you, wasn't it!" she declared, pointing the buzzy-bee hot water bottle at him like a wand.

Draco's mouth dropped open. "What makes you think it was me? Theo is sitting right there, you know."

To his surprise, Ginny leaned forward and planted her hands on either side of his face, trapping him in the cage of her arms. His breathing quickened, and he could feel the fluffy texture of the water bottle cover tickling his cheek, but it was the proximity of her body that truly unnerved them. She was so close that he could count every freckle on her nose.

Was she going to kiss him?

Slowly, very slowly, Ginny reached out and trailed her thumb across his bottom lip, then licked the tip of her thumb without once taking her eyes from his.

"Mmm," she mused, "is that chocolate I taste? And—" an exaggerated gasp "—a hint of peanut butter? Now I wonder why that would be. In fact—" she leaned even closer, so that their lips were a hairsbreadth apart and she was practically sitting on his lap "—your breath smells like chocolate as well."

Draco swallowed. Hard. "Weasley, I—"

Suddenly, something warm and fluffy hit him on the side of his head. "You git! I've told you idiots so many times not to steal my food, but you just—" She hit him again with the hot water bottle, then again as she made frustrated little sounds and struggled to articulate her rage.

Draco gripped her by the wrists and managed to knock the buzzy-bee hot water bottle out of her hand. "Damn it, Weasley, calm down!"

"Calm down?" she shrieked. "Calm down? My stomach feels like it's being scraped around from the inside with a blunt blade, I've had no sleep, I had to put up with stupid people at work all day, you stole my chocolate, and now you're telling me to calm down?"

Draco blinked. "Wait, are you crying?"

She rubbed angrily at her eyes. "I'm not crying. I'm just tired, and my cramps hurt like hell, and you stole my bloody chocolate!"

Theo risked a glance over his magazine. "I believe this is where you pat her on the back and make soothing noises."

Ginny's face flushed a deep red. "Screw you, arseholes!" And with that she stomped off to her room and slammed the door shut.

Theo rubbed his chin. "You know, I just realised that females are like werewolves. Once a month they turn into monsters and only those men with a death sentence dare to get close."

"Does that mean chocolate is like their wolfsbane?" Blaise wondered aloud.

"Exactly, and Draco just ate Ginny's. No wonder she's pissed."

Draco rolled his eyes. "You're both idiots." He got to his feet and picked up the buzzy-bee hot water bottle.

"Where are you going with that?" Theo asked, watching the blond head for the hallway.

"To return it to Weasley."

Blaise grinned. "Clearly has a death sente—OH, COME ON! I TOTALLY DODGED THAT HIT!"

Draco shook his head—one of these days he was going to chuck that stupid Xbox thing out the window—and stopped outside Ginny's room. He knocked twice and waited, staring down at the red and yellow bee stitched onto the fluffy covering of the hot water bottle.

"Sod off!" a muffled voice shouted from behind the door, and then something thumped against the wood. No doubt a pillow.

"I brought your hot water bottle for you."

There was a pause and then he heard feet shuffling towards him and the door opened a crack. A red-rimmed eye peered out at him. Wordlessly, he held the hot water bottle up for her to see, which she snatched from him with a muttered thanks.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

Ginny shrugged and opened the door wider, allowing him to enter as she clambered back onto her bed and pulled a purple blanket around her. "Don't think this means I've forgiven you for stealing my chocolate," she grumbled.

Draco's mouth twitched into a smile. "Yeah, about that. I didn't realise it was yours."

Her eyes widened. "Wow, I must look really pathetic if you're apologising to me."

"You know, I find that rather insulting. Here I am trying to be a good flatmate and you just go and throw it all back in my face and insinuate nasty things." He placed his hand against his heart. "I'm wounded, Weasley. Deeply wounded."

Ginny flopped against the bed. "Cut the dramatics, Draco. I'm not in the mood."

Some of the teasing light faded from his eyes. "Alright, fair enough. I actually came to ask if you wanted anything from the supermarket. I'm heading there now to pick up some things."

She hugged the hot water bottle closer to her stomach and glowered at him. "Yeah, you can get me more chocolate."

"Is that all?"

Her gaze lowered to her hands, and her voice softened a fraction. "Some ice cream?"

Draco repressed a smile. "Sure."

"Oh, and those mint biscuits I like, and—" she tapped a finger to her chin and then shook her head. "Nope, that's it."

Draco nodded and turned to leave when he felt a light tug on his wrist. He glanced down to see Ginny staring up at him with a shy smile. He didn't know why the sight made his stomach flutter.

"Um, thanks," she mumbled.

He blinked. "For what?"

"I know you're only doing this to cheer me up, and it's not like you had to—especially after I went crazy on you."

Draco's mouth twitched. "Crazy sounds about right. I don't think I'm ever going to live down defeat by buzzy-bee."

She laughed. "Yeah, sorry about that."

"So you should feel sorry. Need I remind you that I'm your flatmate, not one of your idiotic brothers whom you can manhandle however you like." He paused and a wicked smirk curved his lips. "I won't say no to another lap dance, though."

"L-lap dance?" she spluttered, going red in the face. "Malfoy!"

But Draco had already gone, leaving only the ghost of his laughter echoing behind him.
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