Being with her was as close to heaven as he would ever get. She wasn’t his, but he liked to pretend that she was. It was easy. She smiled so sweetly up at him, with her brown eyes filled with laughter and he let himself drown in her innocence.
It was the only time he allowed himself to hope.
He would drag her close to him, pulling her down onto her pillows and let the passion flair between them. When he was spent and her skin was slick with sweat, he would wrap his arms around her and kiss her tenderly. In her bed, with her hair fanned out around them and her small frame press against him, his mind was able to relax, to stop worrying about tomorrow and simply enjoy the promise in her touch.
There was something soothing in the feel of her breath on his chest and the way she murmured his name in her sleep. He had been with other women before, but none had ever had this touched him like this. None made him feel so unworthy, or so blessed.
He didn’t have to hide himself with her, didn’t have to play games or pretend.
In her bed the rest of the world faded into white noise. All his goals and ambitions vanished the moment he crossed her threshold. Nothing mattered but the look in her eyes and the way her arms tightened around him when they kissed.
She didn’t say she loved him; he wouldn’t believe her if she did. Still, these moments with her where what helped him make it through another day. Sometime he thought that if he ever lost this he would cease to be. It was foolish to think so. Whenever he did his mouth twisted into a self-deprecating smirk and he was tempted to avoid her just to prove that he still could. But he never did. In fact, he never managed to stay away for longer than a week. He was afraid that if he did she wouldn’t be there when he came back.
It was the only time he allowed himself to hope.
He would drag her close to him, pulling her down onto her pillows and let the passion flair between them. When he was spent and her skin was slick with sweat, he would wrap his arms around her and kiss her tenderly. In her bed, with her hair fanned out around them and her small frame press against him, his mind was able to relax, to stop worrying about tomorrow and simply enjoy the promise in her touch.
There was something soothing in the feel of her breath on his chest and the way she murmured his name in her sleep. He had been with other women before, but none had ever had this touched him like this. None made him feel so unworthy, or so blessed.
He didn’t have to hide himself with her, didn’t have to play games or pretend.
In her bed the rest of the world faded into white noise. All his goals and ambitions vanished the moment he crossed her threshold. Nothing mattered but the look in her eyes and the way her arms tightened around him when they kissed.
She didn’t say she loved him; he wouldn’t believe her if she did. Still, these moments with her where what helped him make it through another day. Sometime he thought that if he ever lost this he would cease to be. It was foolish to think so. Whenever he did his mouth twisted into a self-deprecating smirk and he was tempted to avoid her just to prove that he still could. But he never did. In fact, he never managed to stay away for longer than a week. He was afraid that if he did she wouldn’t be there when he came back.
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