It was the first Saturday of the month, and the fifth-year Hogwarts students filed past Filch on their way to Hogsmeade. Harry, Hermione, Ron and Ginny lagged at the back of the group, laughing and joking.
Draco Malfoy waited for them up the road, and with a spell he had memorized, he bewitched the hedge he was nonchalantly leaning on. The hedge began to shudder and shake. Fangs protruded from its razor-sharp leaves, its roots ripped themselves from the ground and it began to advance.
Draco discontinued its movement with a simple freezing charm that would wear off round about when Harry Potter would walk past. He grinned at his own magnificent brilliance and patted the hedge affectionately.
As the Gryffindors walked past, the freezing charm did not seem to have worn off, so Draco decided that he needed to do everything in his power to stop them.
“Oy Potter!” Draco took a deep breath. “Everybody thinks you’re weird, you bespectacled scar head; Weasley, you’re brainless, you’re poor and your mum is fat; Granger, you look like a beaver, you only got 98% in Transfiguration last year and you’re a filthy Mudblood; Ginny, umm, you have freckles and I don’t like your shoes today.”
They all stopped and turned round, amazed.
“Even for you, Malfoy, that was quite a long breath,” said Ginny, impressed.
“Yes well,” Draco replied, “I have very good lung capacity.” He winked at her.
Stunned silence erupted, only broken when the hedge sprung to life.
It heaved itself forward; its once neatly topiared branches maniacally flailing towards the students. Harry pulled out his wand and blasted the hedge. However, the hedge only seemed more encouraged by this attack, and launched itself, at a quicker pace, towards them.
“DO SOMETHING, HERMIONE!” shrieked Ron, who had recently misplaced his own wand, and was much too busy stumbling backwards to have done anything anyway.
With clean brilliance, Hermione quickly stunned the hedge. At the same moment, all four Gryffindors turned round just in time to see Draco speed off to Hogsmeade, cackling evilly.
“That boy has issues,” said Hermione, putting her wand away.
“I’ll give him issues,” muttered Ron, causing many raised eyebrows to be turned in his direction.
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Later, in the Three Broomsticks, Harry, Ron and Hermione were still complaining about Draco Malfoy. Ron, with overeager malice, was miming what he would have done to Malfoy had he not been busy dealing with the hedge. It involved a lot of high kicking and Hermione suspected he had been watching his dad’s collection of muggle karate films again. She sighed and turned her attention to Harry, who was explaining in great detail to Ginny why Malfoy was such a prat.
“He’s just so… so evil.” Harry gesticulated wildly. “And he’s spiteful and nasty to all Gryffindors. His father’s a Death Eater; they’re all in cahoots you know… He’s just bad. All Slytherins are.”
Ginny was faintly amused by all this, and decided to fight Malfoy’s case for a bit.
“He can’t help who his father is, you know. And he can’t be all bad; no one is. Besides, he’s handsome and clever and funny. Definitely better than most Slytherins, right?”
Harry Potter gaped. “But… he’s Malfoy!! And his hair looks stupid.”
Ginny simply laughed breezily. Harry’s conversation could be quite boring, but she could talk on this subject for a while…
@@@
Draco walked back to Hogwarts with Blaise Zabini. He tried his best not to show his frustration, masking it cleverly by turning a nearby Hufflepuff girl’s feet into stuffed beavers. Oddly, she didn’t notice them until they startled her by singing the national anthem very loudly, in deep bass voices.
When he reached the Slytherin common room, he detached Pansy Parkinson from his arm, where she was making a nuisance of herself by drooling over his manly charms and brilliance. Not that Draco would have minded usually, of course; and Parkinson wasn’t so bad, if you squinted.
But he was a busy man. Pausing only briefly to give his dashing appearance a quick once over in the talking hallway mirror, (Dazzling as usual honey. I would eat you up with a spoon, if I had a mouth...) he turned into his room. Potter was proving difficult, and Draco was getting impatient. On the other hand, Potter’s girlfriend was obviously impressed by his speech-making skills. He couldn’t blame the poor girl, of course; few could resist his devilishly handsome face. He might give her a chance, if she was lucky.
@@@
Back in Hogsmeade, the last few students ambled back to Hogwarts. No one noticed a neatly trimmed hedge get up and bound off in the direction of the Forbidden Forest, topiary bouncing in the wind.
@@@
Another week passed, and Harry Potter managed to avoid all of Draco’s carefully placed traps. Draco scowled as he passed him in the Great Hall. He would have to try a different approach...
@@@
The next morning, in the Gryffindor boy’s dormitory, Harry Potter found a vole in his underpants draw.
“Oh.” Harry was a bit lost for words. “Ummm, cute vole.” The vole snuffled around in Harry’s Y-fronts.
Neville Longbottom looked up. When he caught sight of the vole, he squeaked loudly.
“Harry!” Neville had gasped. “That is a poisonous vole! The Only poisonous kind of vole in the British Isles. It’s known for its very killer instincts and deadliness. It’s evil...” He pointed an accusatory quivering finger at the dozing vole and collapsed into a mad fit of twitching, and everyone in the room had studiously ignored him.
“I think I’ll call it Rover.”
@@@
“Aghlfufmiaduh?!?!?!!” Draco Malfoy spluttered. Harry Potter was still alive. Very alive. And with a vole gamboling around his shoulders... that made no sense and it was unfair. On the other foot, at least the poisoned toast would work.
At that second, Colin Creevey spluttered and choked. The entire Gryffindor table rushed to help him, Harry Potter actually leaping over the breakfast things in his haste. Draco turned away. Bloody Gryffindors...
@@@
And now for a short history of the poisonous vole featured in this, the latest installment of the hedge saga.
Description
Most vole species have rootless molars that fold into a series of triangles. These prove very useful when our poisonous little friend goes out on his nightly hunts. Voles are one of the few rodents whose molars continue to grow during their entire life. This means that by the time they are a year old, their teeth protrude monstrously from their tiny mouths.
Habitat
The poisonous vole can live anywhere. He is the master of disguise. He can delve into the hardest rock and thrive in very high altitudes. The North American Meadow Vole lives in networks of above-ground "runways" in grassy areas, as well as underground burrows. California's Red Tree Vole lives in the treetops.
Range
Sometimes known as lethal meadow mice in America, approximately 70 species of voles can be found in Europe, Asia, North Africa and North America. They are especially often found in the Pacific Northwest in states including Oregon, Washington, and the Kent area.
Diet
Depending on the species, the poisonous Vole's diet consists of Many carnivores such as wolves, owls, hawks, coyotes, roadrunners, foxes, weasels, cats and fish. They are most fearsome predators.
Age
The average life of a vole is 3–6 months. However, poisonous Voles have been known to live longer than 12 years with proper care and attention. The longest lifespan of a poisonous vole ever recorded was 18 years.
Containment
While voles can, like most rodents, be pests to yards and homes next to fields, I wouldn’t bother trying to fight the poisonous kind. According to the Department for Fair and Just Treatment of the Only British Poisonous Vole, nothing will save you now. They have been known to thrive off vole repellent. If your garden is infested with a poisonous pal, Take heed!!! I would just move house or buy a shotgun.
Author’s Note: The information on our friend the poisonous vole is from Wikipedia, which is a vair good internet thing…
Draco Malfoy waited for them up the road, and with a spell he had memorized, he bewitched the hedge he was nonchalantly leaning on. The hedge began to shudder and shake. Fangs protruded from its razor-sharp leaves, its roots ripped themselves from the ground and it began to advance.
Draco discontinued its movement with a simple freezing charm that would wear off round about when Harry Potter would walk past. He grinned at his own magnificent brilliance and patted the hedge affectionately.
As the Gryffindors walked past, the freezing charm did not seem to have worn off, so Draco decided that he needed to do everything in his power to stop them.
“Oy Potter!” Draco took a deep breath. “Everybody thinks you’re weird, you bespectacled scar head; Weasley, you’re brainless, you’re poor and your mum is fat; Granger, you look like a beaver, you only got 98% in Transfiguration last year and you’re a filthy Mudblood; Ginny, umm, you have freckles and I don’t like your shoes today.”
They all stopped and turned round, amazed.
“Even for you, Malfoy, that was quite a long breath,” said Ginny, impressed.
“Yes well,” Draco replied, “I have very good lung capacity.” He winked at her.
Stunned silence erupted, only broken when the hedge sprung to life.
It heaved itself forward; its once neatly topiared branches maniacally flailing towards the students. Harry pulled out his wand and blasted the hedge. However, the hedge only seemed more encouraged by this attack, and launched itself, at a quicker pace, towards them.
“DO SOMETHING, HERMIONE!” shrieked Ron, who had recently misplaced his own wand, and was much too busy stumbling backwards to have done anything anyway.
With clean brilliance, Hermione quickly stunned the hedge. At the same moment, all four Gryffindors turned round just in time to see Draco speed off to Hogsmeade, cackling evilly.
“That boy has issues,” said Hermione, putting her wand away.
“I’ll give him issues,” muttered Ron, causing many raised eyebrows to be turned in his direction.
Later, in the Three Broomsticks, Harry, Ron and Hermione were still complaining about Draco Malfoy. Ron, with overeager malice, was miming what he would have done to Malfoy had he not been busy dealing with the hedge. It involved a lot of high kicking and Hermione suspected he had been watching his dad’s collection of muggle karate films again. She sighed and turned her attention to Harry, who was explaining in great detail to Ginny why Malfoy was such a prat.
“He’s just so… so evil.” Harry gesticulated wildly. “And he’s spiteful and nasty to all Gryffindors. His father’s a Death Eater; they’re all in cahoots you know… He’s just bad. All Slytherins are.”
Ginny was faintly amused by all this, and decided to fight Malfoy’s case for a bit.
“He can’t help who his father is, you know. And he can’t be all bad; no one is. Besides, he’s handsome and clever and funny. Definitely better than most Slytherins, right?”
Harry Potter gaped. “But… he’s Malfoy!! And his hair looks stupid.”
Ginny simply laughed breezily. Harry’s conversation could be quite boring, but she could talk on this subject for a while…
Draco walked back to Hogwarts with Blaise Zabini. He tried his best not to show his frustration, masking it cleverly by turning a nearby Hufflepuff girl’s feet into stuffed beavers. Oddly, she didn’t notice them until they startled her by singing the national anthem very loudly, in deep bass voices.
When he reached the Slytherin common room, he detached Pansy Parkinson from his arm, where she was making a nuisance of herself by drooling over his manly charms and brilliance. Not that Draco would have minded usually, of course; and Parkinson wasn’t so bad, if you squinted.
But he was a busy man. Pausing only briefly to give his dashing appearance a quick once over in the talking hallway mirror, (Dazzling as usual honey. I would eat you up with a spoon, if I had a mouth...) he turned into his room. Potter was proving difficult, and Draco was getting impatient. On the other hand, Potter’s girlfriend was obviously impressed by his speech-making skills. He couldn’t blame the poor girl, of course; few could resist his devilishly handsome face. He might give her a chance, if she was lucky.
Back in Hogsmeade, the last few students ambled back to Hogwarts. No one noticed a neatly trimmed hedge get up and bound off in the direction of the Forbidden Forest, topiary bouncing in the wind.
Another week passed, and Harry Potter managed to avoid all of Draco’s carefully placed traps. Draco scowled as he passed him in the Great Hall. He would have to try a different approach...
The next morning, in the Gryffindor boy’s dormitory, Harry Potter found a vole in his underpants draw.
“Oh.” Harry was a bit lost for words. “Ummm, cute vole.” The vole snuffled around in Harry’s Y-fronts.
Neville Longbottom looked up. When he caught sight of the vole, he squeaked loudly.
“Harry!” Neville had gasped. “That is a poisonous vole! The Only poisonous kind of vole in the British Isles. It’s known for its very killer instincts and deadliness. It’s evil...” He pointed an accusatory quivering finger at the dozing vole and collapsed into a mad fit of twitching, and everyone in the room had studiously ignored him.
“I think I’ll call it Rover.”
“Aghlfufmiaduh?!?!?!!” Draco Malfoy spluttered. Harry Potter was still alive. Very alive. And with a vole gamboling around his shoulders... that made no sense and it was unfair. On the other foot, at least the poisoned toast would work.
At that second, Colin Creevey spluttered and choked. The entire Gryffindor table rushed to help him, Harry Potter actually leaping over the breakfast things in his haste. Draco turned away. Bloody Gryffindors...
And now for a short history of the poisonous vole featured in this, the latest installment of the hedge saga.
Description
Most vole species have rootless molars that fold into a series of triangles. These prove very useful when our poisonous little friend goes out on his nightly hunts. Voles are one of the few rodents whose molars continue to grow during their entire life. This means that by the time they are a year old, their teeth protrude monstrously from their tiny mouths.
Habitat
The poisonous vole can live anywhere. He is the master of disguise. He can delve into the hardest rock and thrive in very high altitudes. The North American Meadow Vole lives in networks of above-ground "runways" in grassy areas, as well as underground burrows. California's Red Tree Vole lives in the treetops.
Range
Sometimes known as lethal meadow mice in America, approximately 70 species of voles can be found in Europe, Asia, North Africa and North America. They are especially often found in the Pacific Northwest in states including Oregon, Washington, and the Kent area.
Diet
Depending on the species, the poisonous Vole's diet consists of Many carnivores such as wolves, owls, hawks, coyotes, roadrunners, foxes, weasels, cats and fish. They are most fearsome predators.
Age
The average life of a vole is 3–6 months. However, poisonous Voles have been known to live longer than 12 years with proper care and attention. The longest lifespan of a poisonous vole ever recorded was 18 years.
Containment
While voles can, like most rodents, be pests to yards and homes next to fields, I wouldn’t bother trying to fight the poisonous kind. According to the Department for Fair and Just Treatment of the Only British Poisonous Vole, nothing will save you now. They have been known to thrive off vole repellent. If your garden is infested with a poisonous pal, Take heed!!! I would just move house or buy a shotgun.
Author’s Note: The information on our friend the poisonous vole is from Wikipedia, which is a vair good internet thing…
To Be Continued.
nun outfits are cool is the author of 3 other stories.
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