Disclaimer: I still own this story, but nothing else, not even the characters. I think they’re grateful for that.

Chapter Three: the wedding

Ginny looked at her soon-to-be husband as she walked down the aisle. She briefly wondered why they were inside a Volde-mart supermarket, then just blamed it on the author and returned her attention to her wedding...

Harry and Ron glared at Draco, completely oblivious to the fact that his best man, Severus Snape, was slipping away and even more oblivious to Hermione, who had started to move away from them.

Arthur looked to his wife and she glared at him, nodding for him to give Ginny's hand to Draco. With a sigh, he offered his hand to Draco.

"You hurt her and I'll set the garden hose on you," Arthur threatened.

"Not the garden hose, Daddy! Go sit down with Mum or else I'll tell her what you said!" Ginny said, and her father reluctantly did as he was told. "The garden hose killed the last boy I brought home," she muttered. "The one before that is still tied up in the garage and Daddy won't let him out."

Draco paled in shock.

"Is that legal?" he asked in shock.

"Probably. Daddy did write the laws about Muggle artefacts," Ginny replied with a shrug.

"Ahem ... Do you want to get married or not?" Albus asked them impatiently.

"Sorry! Go ahead," Ginny said with an innocent smile.

"Thank you. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union between this man and woman. If anyone has any objections, please state them now so we don't have to waste another hour before the buffet," Albus said looking over the crowd hopefully.

Molly nudged Arthur, who had begun to rise and he sat again promptly. Just as Ron and Harry were about to stand up, a loud noise came from the back of the Volde-mart.

Lucius and Voldemort appeared, wands drawn.

"Do you have an objection to this wedding?" Albus enquired looking at them over his glasses.

"Uh ... No. We were invited, we just arrived late," Lucius said.

"We're also here to kill Harry Potter!" Voldemort yelled.

"Could you do it after the wedding then? We're at a critical stage here; it's the decision between the wedding and the buffet!" Albus said crossly.

"No! This cannot wait! I've been waiting for this moment for how ever many years I've been waiting!" Voldemort said. "Besides, I own this Volde-mart and no one informed me of this wedding taking place!"

"Actually, we did. You got the invitation too, remember?" Lucius whispered beside him.

"Oh, yes ... Indeed I did. Well then, this is awkward," he said with a cough. "What was I saying before? Oh, that's right! I'm here to kill Potter!" Voldemort demanded, walking down the aisle threateningly.

"You will not ruin my daughter's wedding!" Molly said, standing up and glaring at him.

"You didn't tell me the mother of the bride was going to be here! You foolish idiot!" Voldemort yelled at Lucius, then screamed like a little girl and ran.

"Oh, no you don't! You'll probably come back during the reception to try and ruin her wedding again!" Molly said angrily, stalking after him and grabbing Voldemort by the back of the robes. "Bad Voldemort! Bad! Apologise to my daughter this instant!" Molly said.

"I'm sorry!" Voldemort whimpered.

"What are you sorry for?" Molly asked glaring at him.

"I'm sorry for interrupting their wedding!"

"Good. Now, since you were invited, sit on the groom's side and watch the ceremony," Molly said, pushing Lucius and Voldemort to the front of the aisle. "Sorry, Albus. You may continue," Molly said calmly now, smiling at him.

Voldemort and Lucius sat down quickly, whispering to each other. Albus nodded, slightly nervous and coughed noisily before continuing.

"As no one has any objections, you are all forced to listen to me drabble on for another hour before we can get to the buffet! Thank you all very much!" Albus said sarcastically.

"We object!" Lucius and Voldemort shouted quickly.

"AVADA KEDAVRA!" Molly shouted and a bright green light shot out of her wand.

Voldemort and Lucius died from the mother of the bride's wrath.

It was at that moment that Harry and Ron decided not to ruin Ginny's wedding...

As Lucius and Voldemort's lifeless bodies fell, they somehow managed to fall onto a closet that was nowhere near them. The doors opened and everyone gasped in shock.

"Hermione?" Ron said weakly, staring at her and going an awful shade of green at the same time.

"Snape?" Harry said, turning and running to the public toilets at the other end of the Volde-mart.

"Oh, please! You all knew this was bound to happen sooner or later!" Hermione said, rolling her eyes.

Ron fainted as she closed the doors again.

"Mum! Ron's fainted and being an attention seeker! He's ruining my wedding!" Ginny said with a pout.

Draco looked happy, hoping the Weasel would get knocked off too.

"Ronald Bilius Weasley! Get off the ground this instant and stop ruining your sister's wedding!" Molly yelled at him.

"Your middle name's Bilius?" Draco asked, spluttering with laughter as Ron sat up.

"Draco! Forgot these," Snape called as the closet door opened again.

Two rings were thrown to him. Draco caught them easily and slipped one on to Ginny's finger. She put the other ring on his finger and they kissed soundly. They were halfway down the aisle when Albus stopped them.

"I haven't even finished the ceremony!" he said.

Ginny and Draco started to go back to him, looking disappointed.

"Wait, what am I complaining about? Buffet, here I come! You're now pronounced husband and wife!" Albus said, clapping them both on the back as he passed them to hurry to the reception.

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Ron and Harry sat at the reception with green faces, not touching their food at all.

"I can't believe this," Ron muttered. "Hermione's off with Snape of all people! And my sister's married to the Great Ferret! Who the hell am I supposed to get with? The only other person here that isn't with someone else is you," Ron said looking at Harry.

"What!" Harry said looking around the reception quickly. "You're kidding me!" Harry muttered as he shook his head.

Ron was actually right for once! Everyone was with someone else... Even Moaning Myrtle was with Peeves!

Harry sighed and looked at Ron's hopeful face.

"Why is it always me in slash stories?! I'm going to start petitioning this!" he said angrily.

Ron rolled his eyes and kissed him. Harry and Ron let go of each other with content sighs.

"Well, maybe later," Harry muttered, pulling Ron back to him.

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Voldemort and Lucius were buried together, as requested in one of their wills. Voldemort's real name is written on the tomb with his alter-ego underneath in brackets. Lightning bolts hit the tomb every three seconds and their grave will soon fall into the sea; five kilometres away...

Bill and Fleur, who were mentioned in one chapter are married with no children yet and don't have any closets. They do, however, have a whip in their room...

Moaning Myrtle and Peeves somehow managed to get married and are now off on their honeymoon, annoying and complaining to people worldwide...

Molly and Arthur are still married. And it will stay that way unless Arthur has a death wish...

It is believed that Albus Dumbledore is still eating at the buffet to this day. Volde-mart is suffering because of it, and still has yet to find a counter-curse for the refilling spell Albus put on his plate...

Hermione and Snape were married soon after Draco and Ginny's wedding and lived in a closet with a lot of closets inside of it. You don't want to know how many...

Harry and Ron are still together, despite protesting from Harry. Ron still refuses to go to Hermione's closet-house...

Draco and Ginny lived happily ever after in the Manor with twelve closets, and somehow they had the same amount of children...

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(The end! I hope you enjoyed it!)