Ahem. Sorry about that. I got a little carried away with the free drinks. But I'm here again now, so we can continue with the story.
What's this? You're saying I'm a liar and a hypocrite? You're actually saying you'd rather keep watching those dancing Cabana Boys than listen to a well-respected narrator like myself?
Ungrateful cretins. I should have known something like this would happen. And after all the effort I went through to make the story interesting for you.
What? You're saying I only changed Ginny's future to suit myself?
. . .
I suppose you think you're awfully clever. Well, I don't need to answer to you. And since you're stuck in this room with me, you'll just have to listen to the rest of my tale. Mwahahaha—
Hack, hack. Cough, cough.
Oh, phooey. Now where did I put those cough drops . . .
-o-
Ginny rolled over in the bed, a slow smile touching her lips as she saw that the blond was still lying beside her, his eyes firmly shut. He looked so adorable when he was asleep: his hair all mussed, and his hands fisted under his chin. Even his expression was softer, almost vulnerable. It made her want to snuggle up even closer to him, but she resisted the urge, knowing he probably wouldn't like it if she did.
She could hear shuffling and talking coming from downstairs and wondered what the seven dwarfs were doing down there. She didn't even know what time it was, but her stomach soon told her by its uncomfortable rumblings that it was nearing at least some kind of meal time.
Never one to deny her stomach, Ginny got out of the bed – though was careful not to wake Draco – and then made her way down the stairs. She was immediately greeted by Doc, the elderly dwarf, who told her that she and Draco had slept right through the night. Not wishing to disturb them, the little dwarfs had slept on the seats downstairs.
"But now we've got to head off," Doc continued, gathering his things together. "We've got work to do."
"Oh," Ginny said, feeling a little sad the dwarfs were leaving so soon. They were quite nice once one got to know them. "I suppose you want Draco and me to leave, then."
"No, no," he responded with a smile. "Stay for as long as you like. We'll be back later, but I'm sure you won't mind taking care of the house for us while we're gone."
Ginny, quite naturally, agreed that she wouldn't mind at all, and so she sent the dwarfs off with a wave and a merry goodbye. As soon as the seven bearded men had passed around the corner, Ginny headed back into the house and proceeded to make some breakfast for herself, which she then scoffed down at record speed. Once finished with her meal, she sighed and collapsed onto one of the small chairs, absently rubbing her stomach.
"I'm still hungry," she complained.
Normally, she would have had no qualms in eating more food, but she was conscious of being a guest in the house. No matter how poor people might think her manners, she did have some scruples (I think if you got a magnifying glass, you might be able to see them more clearly).
In any case, as Ginny sat there bemoaning the fact that nothing in this house ever seemed to fill her up, and as Draco continued to snore obliviously upstairs, an old woman can strolling up the little path from the forest, carrying a wicker basket under one arm.
"Hello!" the old woman called cheerily. "Is anyone home? I've got some lovely apples here to sell."
Ginny's ears pricked up at the sound of apples, and she was suddenly on her feet and rushing to the door. "You have apples?" she asked, barely containing her enthusiasm.
The old woman smiled. "Why yes I do. Lots of apples."
The redhead's eyes widened with greed as she saw the basket of rosy red apples. They looked so juicy and scrumptious, and—oh, she had to have one!
Her face suddenly fell. "Bollocks! I just remembered I have no money."
"That's quite alright, dear," the old woman said kindly. "You can have one on me, free of charge." Her dark eyes glinted slightly as she passed Ginny the rosiest, juiciest looking apple of the bunch. "Here you go, dear."
Ginny clutched the apple reverently in her hands. "Thank you! You have no idea how hungry I am."
"Oh, I'm sure I can guess," the woman responded dryly.
Ginny, who was too busy munching down the apple, did not notice the scorn lacing the old woman's voice. Nor did she notice when the old lady slipped away without a further word, a satisfied smile on her lips. Nor did Ginny even notice when the old lady changed into an extremely beautiful woman just before she passed out of view. In fact, it was unlikely the redhead would have noticed if the whole forest around her had started tap-dancing and singing God Save the Queen.
What Ginny did notice was that her hands began to feel a bit tingly after a while, and that her apple somehow didn't taste as nice as before.
"I don't feel so good," Ginny moaned, and then promptly fell down dead.
Yes, you heard me correctly: she fell down dead. D – E – A – D. Dead.
This is what happens when you're over-greedy. I did say every fairy tale has a moral, didn't I? And this is the moral of my story: don't be a glutton like Ginny Weasley and you won't get poisoned by appleys. I mean apples.
. . .
What, you're saying that is a rubbish ending? You're telling me – me, the greatest narrator of them all – that I failed at my task because I didn't write a happily ever after? Well, let me tell you that I tried! Yes, damn you, I tried!
It's not my fault the prince who was supposed to rescue her from the Evil Queen decided upon finding the dead Ginny that he would not kiss her because the 'Snow White' he had so bravely set out to rescue had red hair and freckles, and was not at all like the description. It didn't help that there were bits of apple stuck to her lip either, so we really can't blame the poor prince for turning tail and fleeing.
Ah, you're wondering what happened to the blond who had been brought into The Book of Fairy Tales with our plain heroine, and who (unfortunately) only had grey eyes and not sparkling blue. Well, he was still snoring in his bed, but I suppose we can see what happens to him after he wakes up.
Ahem. Just let me shuffle my notes together, and . . .
Draco woke up later that morning to discover that Ginny had gone and there was much wailing going on outside. A quick glance out the window revealed to him that seven dwarfs were sobbing over the prone figure of a certain redhead.
Draco swore and hurried down the stairs, bursting through the doors to join the crying dwarfs. "What happened," he demanded.
Doc wiped his eyes. "Well, there was this squirrel who saw—"
"ACHOO!"
"And the—"
"ACHOO!"
"—gave Ginny an apple."
"Y-yes," the bashful dwarf interposed tearfully. "And t-then Ginny w-went—"
"Zzzzzzzz"
"So the squirrel came to us and said—"
"Why are you bloody-well asking me? I'll have you know—"
"We all came here to find—"
"ACHOO!"
"So then we—"
"Wait! Wait! Wait!" Draco exclaimed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I have no idea what the hell any of you are talking about. Please, just one of you tell me what has happened."
"Ginny has been poisoned!" the dwarfs cried as one.
Draco felt his stomach plummet several feet. "W-what?" he stammered, looking very pale.
"It was the Evil Queen," Doc explained. "She came disguised as an old woman and gave Ginny a poisoned apple. I'm sorry, Mr Draco, but there's nothing we can do. Even the prince who came along to bring her back to life with his kiss decided not to help her. And I must say it was very rude of him."
Draco frowned. "You mean all someone has to do is kiss her and she'll wake back up?"
"I'm afraid it d-doesn't w-work that w-way," the bashful dwarf said sadly. "It has to b-be her tr-true love's k-kiss."
The blond stared down at the redhead, who was almost looking as white as snow in her lifeless state – even with the freckles. He seriously doubted he was her true love, but there wasn't any harm in trying, right? After all, it was as Ginny had said: they were a team. And, well, she wasn't so bad, he supposed . . .
"Alright, move out of the way," Draco said briskly, moving the dwarfs aside.
He knelt down beside Ginny and, with a brief expression of distaste, brushed the bits of apple chunks away from her lips.
"You're really going t-to ki-kiss her?" the bashful dwarf asked.
Draco nodded and then turned his attention back to the lifeless girl. "Well," he murmured, "here goes nothing."
He leaned down and kissed her, almost pulling back in surprise at the coldness of her lips. Nothing happened at first, and then he felt the warmth creep back into her cheeks, and the slight flutter of her breath brush against his face. Suddenly, her eyes opened and they stared at each other in silence for a moment: she stunned, while he looked merely smug.
"I was dead," she whispered, blinking dazedly.
"You were," he agreed, sitting back to give her some space. "Some old hag poisoned you with an apple, and then the prince who was meant to save you ran away. You're lucky I was here, really."
"You kissed me," she accused, suddenly realising how it was that she had been brought back to life.
"Well, it wouldn't be the first time, would it?"
Ginny blushed and then she suddenly froze, a dismayed expression coming to her face. "Oh, no! Does this mean you're my true love?"
Draco's smug smile became even more pronounced. "I guess so."
"Bugger and hell!" the redhead exclaimed, covering her face with her hands.
"Well, there's no need to be like that," Draco retorted, affronted. "I did just save your life, you know."
"Yes, but now I'm going to be stuck with you forever!" Ginny wailed, still hiding her face. "Don't get me wrong: I think you're hot and all, and you do kiss very nicely, but I don't want to marry you!"
"M-marriage?" Draco spluttered. "Who said anything about marriage?"
"Hem, hem," a new voice interrupted. "If I may?"
Both Draco and Ginny turned to see Gus floating in his 'meditation position' in front of them, still in his yellow cloak and sugarloaf hat. Beside him, and wearing a collection of what looked like different coloured teacups strung together into a dress, hovered a rather mad looking woman with a pipe sticking out of her mouth.
"Gussie?" Draco exclaimed, frowning at the woman.
"Hello, handsome," Gussie said with a wink. "I see you finally found yourself a happily ever after."
"Not quite, Gussie," Gus remarked, clasping his hands together and frowning at the two teenagers. "They haven't agreed to marry each other yet."
"You mean the only way we can get out of here is if I say I'll marry him?" Ginny demanded, looking quite horrified.
"That's right," Gus responded serenely.
"It's the only way to know for sure that you'll live happily ever after, you know," Gussie added, almost apologetically.
Draco and Ginny stared at each other, identical expressions of dismay on their faces. They then turned back to the floating narrators.
"But I'm only sixteen!" Ginny complained.
"And I really do think she might be a cannibal."
Ginny stared at him. "What?"
"Er—" Draco fidgeted with his cloak. "I mean—forget that."
Gus frowned, considering them through his beady eyes. "I suppose you are very young," he admitted. "Very well, I will bend the rules for you just this once."
Draco and Ginny gave an audible sigh of relief.
"But I expect to hear some declarations of your undying love for each other in the near future."
"A little kiss or two wouldn't hurt either," Gussie added with a wink.
And with that the two floating narrators vanished in a puff of pink smoke, which then turned into a spinning tornado. Draco and Ginny barely had time to gather their wits together before they were swept off inside the tornado, travelling up, and up, and up – right through the clouds – until they broke through the shining barrier and landed with a hard thump on the Hogwarts' library floor.
"Well," Draco said, standing up and dusting off his cloak.
"Well," Ginny echoed, not really certain what else she could say.
They stared at each other, each knowing they had just shared something unforgettable together and would now have to somehow go back to their normal lives – their normal, separate lives. Except, of course, experiencing an unforgettable thing didn't really promote the desire to return to the normal and mundane, however satisfying that old life might have been. Indeed, Ginny thought she might actually like to keep that promise she made to old Gus and Gussie, because the blond was her true love, and she didn't really like the thought of having to say goodbye to him now.
"Do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me, then?" she asked after a moment.
"Alright," he agreed with a shrug.
Her hand found his, they shared a smile, and then—
-o-
Hold on a minute. It says here that Ronald Weasley suddenly interrupts Draco and Ginny by demanding – and I quote – what the bloody hell that git is doing with his sister.
Flobberworms and Gargoyles! Will this awful tale never end?
Hack, hack. Cough, cough.
Puff. Wheeze.
You know what? I don't give two figs about Ronald Weasley or his pathetic attempts to start a fight. We're going to end it right here. I am the narrator, and I don't want any beastly redheads with the voice of a snoring ogre ruining my ending.
Ahem.
So, then. Ginny stared dreamily into Draco's grey eyes (which should have been sparkling blue), and thought she really might love this boy, after all. Needless to say, there were no male redheads to ruin the moment.
Oh, and in case you haven't guessed already, they all lived happily ever after.
What's this? You're saying I'm a liar and a hypocrite? You're actually saying you'd rather keep watching those dancing Cabana Boys than listen to a well-respected narrator like myself?
Ungrateful cretins. I should have known something like this would happen. And after all the effort I went through to make the story interesting for you.
What? You're saying I only changed Ginny's future to suit myself?
. . .
I suppose you think you're awfully clever. Well, I don't need to answer to you. And since you're stuck in this room with me, you'll just have to listen to the rest of my tale. Mwahahaha—
Hack, hack. Cough, cough.
Oh, phooey. Now where did I put those cough drops . . .
Ginny rolled over in the bed, a slow smile touching her lips as she saw that the blond was still lying beside her, his eyes firmly shut. He looked so adorable when he was asleep: his hair all mussed, and his hands fisted under his chin. Even his expression was softer, almost vulnerable. It made her want to snuggle up even closer to him, but she resisted the urge, knowing he probably wouldn't like it if she did.
She could hear shuffling and talking coming from downstairs and wondered what the seven dwarfs were doing down there. She didn't even know what time it was, but her stomach soon told her by its uncomfortable rumblings that it was nearing at least some kind of meal time.
Never one to deny her stomach, Ginny got out of the bed – though was careful not to wake Draco – and then made her way down the stairs. She was immediately greeted by Doc, the elderly dwarf, who told her that she and Draco had slept right through the night. Not wishing to disturb them, the little dwarfs had slept on the seats downstairs.
"But now we've got to head off," Doc continued, gathering his things together. "We've got work to do."
"Oh," Ginny said, feeling a little sad the dwarfs were leaving so soon. They were quite nice once one got to know them. "I suppose you want Draco and me to leave, then."
"No, no," he responded with a smile. "Stay for as long as you like. We'll be back later, but I'm sure you won't mind taking care of the house for us while we're gone."
Ginny, quite naturally, agreed that she wouldn't mind at all, and so she sent the dwarfs off with a wave and a merry goodbye. As soon as the seven bearded men had passed around the corner, Ginny headed back into the house and proceeded to make some breakfast for herself, which she then scoffed down at record speed. Once finished with her meal, she sighed and collapsed onto one of the small chairs, absently rubbing her stomach.
"I'm still hungry," she complained.
Normally, she would have had no qualms in eating more food, but she was conscious of being a guest in the house. No matter how poor people might think her manners, she did have some scruples (I think if you got a magnifying glass, you might be able to see them more clearly).
In any case, as Ginny sat there bemoaning the fact that nothing in this house ever seemed to fill her up, and as Draco continued to snore obliviously upstairs, an old woman can strolling up the little path from the forest, carrying a wicker basket under one arm.
"Hello!" the old woman called cheerily. "Is anyone home? I've got some lovely apples here to sell."
Ginny's ears pricked up at the sound of apples, and she was suddenly on her feet and rushing to the door. "You have apples?" she asked, barely containing her enthusiasm.
The old woman smiled. "Why yes I do. Lots of apples."
The redhead's eyes widened with greed as she saw the basket of rosy red apples. They looked so juicy and scrumptious, and—oh, she had to have one!
Her face suddenly fell. "Bollocks! I just remembered I have no money."
"That's quite alright, dear," the old woman said kindly. "You can have one on me, free of charge." Her dark eyes glinted slightly as she passed Ginny the rosiest, juiciest looking apple of the bunch. "Here you go, dear."
Ginny clutched the apple reverently in her hands. "Thank you! You have no idea how hungry I am."
"Oh, I'm sure I can guess," the woman responded dryly.
Ginny, who was too busy munching down the apple, did not notice the scorn lacing the old woman's voice. Nor did she notice when the old lady slipped away without a further word, a satisfied smile on her lips. Nor did Ginny even notice when the old lady changed into an extremely beautiful woman just before she passed out of view. In fact, it was unlikely the redhead would have noticed if the whole forest around her had started tap-dancing and singing God Save the Queen.
What Ginny did notice was that her hands began to feel a bit tingly after a while, and that her apple somehow didn't taste as nice as before.
"I don't feel so good," Ginny moaned, and then promptly fell down dead.
Yes, you heard me correctly: she fell down dead. D – E – A – D. Dead.
This is what happens when you're over-greedy. I did say every fairy tale has a moral, didn't I? And this is the moral of my story: don't be a glutton like Ginny Weasley and you won't get poisoned by appleys. I mean apples.
. . .
What, you're saying that is a rubbish ending? You're telling me – me, the greatest narrator of them all – that I failed at my task because I didn't write a happily ever after? Well, let me tell you that I tried! Yes, damn you, I tried!
It's not my fault the prince who was supposed to rescue her from the Evil Queen decided upon finding the dead Ginny that he would not kiss her because the 'Snow White' he had so bravely set out to rescue had red hair and freckles, and was not at all like the description. It didn't help that there were bits of apple stuck to her lip either, so we really can't blame the poor prince for turning tail and fleeing.
Ah, you're wondering what happened to the blond who had been brought into The Book of Fairy Tales with our plain heroine, and who (unfortunately) only had grey eyes and not sparkling blue. Well, he was still snoring in his bed, but I suppose we can see what happens to him after he wakes up.
Ahem. Just let me shuffle my notes together, and . . .
Draco woke up later that morning to discover that Ginny had gone and there was much wailing going on outside. A quick glance out the window revealed to him that seven dwarfs were sobbing over the prone figure of a certain redhead.
Draco swore and hurried down the stairs, bursting through the doors to join the crying dwarfs. "What happened," he demanded.
Doc wiped his eyes. "Well, there was this squirrel who saw—"
"ACHOO!"
"And the—"
"ACHOO!"
"—gave Ginny an apple."
"Y-yes," the bashful dwarf interposed tearfully. "And t-then Ginny w-went—"
"Zzzzzzzz"
"So the squirrel came to us and said—"
"Why are you bloody-well asking me? I'll have you know—"
"We all came here to find—"
"ACHOO!"
"So then we—"
"Wait! Wait! Wait!" Draco exclaimed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I have no idea what the hell any of you are talking about. Please, just one of you tell me what has happened."
"Ginny has been poisoned!" the dwarfs cried as one.
Draco felt his stomach plummet several feet. "W-what?" he stammered, looking very pale.
"It was the Evil Queen," Doc explained. "She came disguised as an old woman and gave Ginny a poisoned apple. I'm sorry, Mr Draco, but there's nothing we can do. Even the prince who came along to bring her back to life with his kiss decided not to help her. And I must say it was very rude of him."
Draco frowned. "You mean all someone has to do is kiss her and she'll wake back up?"
"I'm afraid it d-doesn't w-work that w-way," the bashful dwarf said sadly. "It has to b-be her tr-true love's k-kiss."
The blond stared down at the redhead, who was almost looking as white as snow in her lifeless state – even with the freckles. He seriously doubted he was her true love, but there wasn't any harm in trying, right? After all, it was as Ginny had said: they were a team. And, well, she wasn't so bad, he supposed . . .
"Alright, move out of the way," Draco said briskly, moving the dwarfs aside.
He knelt down beside Ginny and, with a brief expression of distaste, brushed the bits of apple chunks away from her lips.
"You're really going t-to ki-kiss her?" the bashful dwarf asked.
Draco nodded and then turned his attention back to the lifeless girl. "Well," he murmured, "here goes nothing."
He leaned down and kissed her, almost pulling back in surprise at the coldness of her lips. Nothing happened at first, and then he felt the warmth creep back into her cheeks, and the slight flutter of her breath brush against his face. Suddenly, her eyes opened and they stared at each other in silence for a moment: she stunned, while he looked merely smug.
"I was dead," she whispered, blinking dazedly.
"You were," he agreed, sitting back to give her some space. "Some old hag poisoned you with an apple, and then the prince who was meant to save you ran away. You're lucky I was here, really."
"You kissed me," she accused, suddenly realising how it was that she had been brought back to life.
"Well, it wouldn't be the first time, would it?"
Ginny blushed and then she suddenly froze, a dismayed expression coming to her face. "Oh, no! Does this mean you're my true love?"
Draco's smug smile became even more pronounced. "I guess so."
"Bugger and hell!" the redhead exclaimed, covering her face with her hands.
"Well, there's no need to be like that," Draco retorted, affronted. "I did just save your life, you know."
"Yes, but now I'm going to be stuck with you forever!" Ginny wailed, still hiding her face. "Don't get me wrong: I think you're hot and all, and you do kiss very nicely, but I don't want to marry you!"
"M-marriage?" Draco spluttered. "Who said anything about marriage?"
"Hem, hem," a new voice interrupted. "If I may?"
Both Draco and Ginny turned to see Gus floating in his 'meditation position' in front of them, still in his yellow cloak and sugarloaf hat. Beside him, and wearing a collection of what looked like different coloured teacups strung together into a dress, hovered a rather mad looking woman with a pipe sticking out of her mouth.
"Gussie?" Draco exclaimed, frowning at the woman.
"Hello, handsome," Gussie said with a wink. "I see you finally found yourself a happily ever after."
"Not quite, Gussie," Gus remarked, clasping his hands together and frowning at the two teenagers. "They haven't agreed to marry each other yet."
"You mean the only way we can get out of here is if I say I'll marry him?" Ginny demanded, looking quite horrified.
"That's right," Gus responded serenely.
"It's the only way to know for sure that you'll live happily ever after, you know," Gussie added, almost apologetically.
Draco and Ginny stared at each other, identical expressions of dismay on their faces. They then turned back to the floating narrators.
"But I'm only sixteen!" Ginny complained.
"And I really do think she might be a cannibal."
Ginny stared at him. "What?"
"Er—" Draco fidgeted with his cloak. "I mean—forget that."
Gus frowned, considering them through his beady eyes. "I suppose you are very young," he admitted. "Very well, I will bend the rules for you just this once."
Draco and Ginny gave an audible sigh of relief.
"But I expect to hear some declarations of your undying love for each other in the near future."
"A little kiss or two wouldn't hurt either," Gussie added with a wink.
And with that the two floating narrators vanished in a puff of pink smoke, which then turned into a spinning tornado. Draco and Ginny barely had time to gather their wits together before they were swept off inside the tornado, travelling up, and up, and up – right through the clouds – until they broke through the shining barrier and landed with a hard thump on the Hogwarts' library floor.
"Well," Draco said, standing up and dusting off his cloak.
"Well," Ginny echoed, not really certain what else she could say.
They stared at each other, each knowing they had just shared something unforgettable together and would now have to somehow go back to their normal lives – their normal, separate lives. Except, of course, experiencing an unforgettable thing didn't really promote the desire to return to the normal and mundane, however satisfying that old life might have been. Indeed, Ginny thought she might actually like to keep that promise she made to old Gus and Gussie, because the blond was her true love, and she didn't really like the thought of having to say goodbye to him now.
"Do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me, then?" she asked after a moment.
"Alright," he agreed with a shrug.
Her hand found his, they shared a smile, and then—
Hold on a minute. It says here that Ronald Weasley suddenly interrupts Draco and Ginny by demanding – and I quote – what the bloody hell that git is doing with his sister.
Flobberworms and Gargoyles! Will this awful tale never end?
Hack, hack. Cough, cough.
Puff. Wheeze.
You know what? I don't give two figs about Ronald Weasley or his pathetic attempts to start a fight. We're going to end it right here. I am the narrator, and I don't want any beastly redheads with the voice of a snoring ogre ruining my ending.
Ahem.
So, then. Ginny stared dreamily into Draco's grey eyes (which should have been sparkling blue), and thought she really might love this boy, after all. Needless to say, there were no male redheads to ruin the moment.
Oh, and in case you haven't guessed already, they all lived happily ever after.
The End.
Boogum is the author of 21 other stories.
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This story is a favorite of 8 members. Members who liked And They All Lived Happily Ever After also liked 1063 other stories.
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