Disclaimer: I have no claim to these characters or the world in which they live. Our goddess queen, J.K. Rowling, who causes the earth to turn, will always and forever be their mistress. Much as my dreams would tell me otherwise.

Hey, and, er... maybe don't read this if you actually like Harry as a character, because it's not super great for him.

Dear Ginny,

There once was a boy and a girl. The girl worshiped the boy. She looked up to him, idolized him, loved him. She wrote cheesy poems about him and told her diary all about him. He was the hero and she was the princess and one day they would marry and live happily ever after. This was her dearest dream. He was everything she wanted.

They grew up so very close. He was her brother’s best friend, and so she saw him almost every day. Even during summer break when everyone went back home. He would somehow end up at their house. He had a room of his own there. They ate meals together. They played together. Not an inch of her house or hometown went unexplored by him with her on his heels.

He didn’t notice it at first. A boy as young as he was doesn’t think about romance. Watching her crush on him was amusing at times and uncomfortable at others. It was kind of funny when she ran out of the room at the beginning of their acquaintance, as red in the face as the hair on her head. It was less funny when she sent him singing telegrams of her sentiments in the middle of the hallway.

But time went on and they grew older. He started to be interested in girls. He went after other girls first, still rather unaware of the girl who was his best friend’s sister. The girl he’d practically grown up with. It never seemed to go well for him. In retrospect, it might have been because he was ignoring the only one who could make him truly happy.

At long last he noticed her. It seemed almost overnight her hair had gone from frizzy, flaming orange to cascading waves of fire and honey. Her skin was pale and soft and smooth. Her eyes were warm as chocolate and wide enough to suck him in and make him forget what he was doing only seconds before. She was blossoming and developing before his very eyes.

And she no longer noticed him. His moment had passed before he’d even realized he had it. It seemed like he had faded out of her life, just like that. She was chasing after other boys and he could only watch. He tried to catch her attention, but he had the whole wizarding world to save. And while she was still part of the team and a dear friend, it was painfully clear she would never be anything more to him.

She was a fire unto herself now. She had no need to cling to his coattails and ghost along through his adventures. She had top marks in all her classes. She thrilled and terrified her magics teachers. She was truly powerful and it showed in her very demeanor. The world was crumbling down around them and she stood tall as a shining beacon of light and hope. She had no need of a hero. No Boy-Who-Lived was going to be her support.

Why could he not have seen it sooner? Why could she not have held on to her childish crush for just a little while longer? Why did everything have to change?

He was the hero! Why couldn’t he be hers?

Painfully,

Harry

Dear Ginny,

We spoke today. I asked you about why you had stopped loving me. You said you didn’t know. I was everything you wanted, and then I just wasn’t. You told me I was a great guy, but we are better as friends. I wanted to know how you could know that without even trying. All you said was that you didn’t know. It just wasn’t something you wanted anymore.

I tried not to be hurt, but I was. Here I am just beginning to realize how great and wonderful you are, and you don’t even care anymore. You did once, and somehow it’s just gone. You looked up to me with wonder and adoration. Now I’m just the boy who comes over and hangs with your brother. The boy who got Dumbledore’s Army up and running and is slated to save the world.

I didn’t ask for any of this. All I wanted was to just be a kid. I didn’t want to be a hero. I’d have been happy living a simple life with my parents. A few friends. A normal school experience. A brilliant girlfriend.

You could have been that girlfriend if I hadn’t been so stupid for so many years. You were right there in front of me, for Godric’s sake! Completely and totally literally. We’ve spent almost half our lives in the same house at school and going home to the same cozy little burrow. You tagged on with me and Ron and Hermione constantly. It bugged me a lot, and it shouldn’t have. You only wanted me to see what you had already seen. That we would be really great together.

I just wish I could understand. What happened to all of that? You told me once that you wished you could be just like me. Heroic and all that rubbish. Am I not your hero anymore? What did I do and how can I fix it? Please tell me!

Begging,

Harry

Dear Ginny,

It’s getting harder to write these now. I’ve stopped and started so many times, and used the attempts for kindling. But I guess it doesn’t matter, as you’ll probably never read them anyway. You’re back at school, and I’m out here, trekking and hiding in the wilderness with Ron and Hermione, hoping we can accidentally figure out how to defeat Voldemort. It’s hell. We all small horrid and the ground is so hard. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in ages. Almost can’t remember what a bed feels like. Don’t really hold out much hope for getting the chance to have one again.

Most of all I keep thinking about you. I don’t wish you were here. I’d like to keep you safe from this sort of life. But I do wish we could be together. Maybe on a beach somewhere. Free of evil wizards. Free of bloody magic. Just the two of us, together.

I can hear Ron and Hermione whispering beside the fire. They think I don’t notice because I’m writing. It makes it so much harder, watching them get to share this thing together while I’m alone. Having friends suffering by my side is not the same as having a partner to support and give me strength in return. I’m tired and I want this to be over. But I haven’t the first idea where to start.

How are three teenagers supposed to fight such a powerful person and his entire army of sycophants? There’s more rumors every day. His power is spreading and it’s only a matter of time before we can’t hide anymore. We have to do something soon. We have to find our answers and make our move before he does.

But I’m so tired. I just can’t wait for this all to be over. Whether that means we defeat him and set the world to rights again, or I die. Sometimes I think I’m ready to die. What have I really got, anyway? A couple of friends, yeah. They’d be sad if I was gone. But I’ve got no family left. I have no home of my own. I have no girl to come back to. I’m fighting for a bunch of people who know my name because of a prophecy.

I’ll be fine. I’m not about to give up. I’m certainly not about to off myself. I just can’t wait for this all to end. I wish I could go back to the days when my worst concern was whether I could outshoot Malfoy for the Snitch. When you were dogging me in the hallways when I took off from the common room with Ron. When torture was an hour in the library with Hermione.

Miserably,

Harry

Dear Ginny,

We finally did it. It was messy and it was brutal and we lost too many good people, but we did it. Voldemort is finished for good and the world is saved. Hooray for us all.

All the good it did us to beat him. I should have been faster. I should have been better.

I was on the other side of the Great Hall when you saw Fred’s body. I saw the way it tore you apart from the inside. I saw your whole family grouping together, sharing the pain. You clung to Charlie like your own life depended on it. Selfishly, all I could think about was how it would feel to be the one you wrapped your arms around. To be the one you pressed your face against to hide your tears. To be the one supporting your body when your sobs wracked you too much to hold your own feet.

I wish I could say I felt more ashamed of myself for that. But I just can’t. I want you, Ginny. I want to celebrate with you. I want to mourn with you. I want it all. Your smiles and your tears. Ups and downs and good and bad.

But you won’t even look at me. Your family is there for you. Why would you need the Boy-Who-Lived-To-Become-The-Love-Of-Your-Childhood-And-The-Ghost-Of-Your-Present?

I guess I should just satisfy myself with my success. I defeated death and Voldemort, my own personal devil, all in one day. I saved the wizarding world. Possibly the whole world. I’m the hero they always told me I was going to be. Everyone is proud of me. Even you, though you can’t show it right now. I couldn’t save everyone, and I’ll have to find a way to deal with that. But at least you are safe. You, and Ron, and Hermione. Luna and Neville. My friends. And many more valuable lives.

Bloody heroic,

Harry

Dear Ginny,

I honestly do not have words for what I have seen today. This was a very solemn event. A memorial service for everyone we lost in our fight against Voldemort. Everyone who gave their lives in the Final Battle to ensure the victory and survival of all the others. Your own brother amongst them.

You were standing beside Fred’s stone. You were holding your shoulders straight as a rail and your chin high. Every inch of you screamed control and confidence. But inside your eyes was a well of pain. Loss and sadness. Memories of a brother who would never smile again.

And then Draco Malfoy pulled up at your side. I thought you would snap at him and push him away as all of us always did. But you didn’t. He stood shoulder to shoulder with you for an entire minute without either one of you moving or speaking. Until he reached out and took your hand. And not only did you not shake him off, you twined your fingers with his. You stood together with Malfoy in solidarity. You shared a moment with him when you haven’t even looked at me in weeks.

I can’t tell you how that cut me. It should have been me. I should have walked up to you and held your hand. I should have offered you support while you grieved. Why was I waiting for you to make the first move? How could I be so stupid? Why did I wait until a Malfoy showed more compassion than me? I stood by while he came to your aid.

And you welcomed him. My rival. Your brother’s bully and sometimes your own. You held his hand and clung to him in your grief. You leaned against him and when your facade of strength finally crumbled, you hid your face in his jacket. His hand stroked your hair. His hushed whispers fell on your ears.

And all I could do was stand in the back of the room, gaping and glowering and kicking myself. I left not too long after that. The grief was already hard enough without seeing you in Malfoy’s arms. I wish I had come up and said something. I wish I had gotten there first. But I wonder if it would have made a difference. You were already lost to me. I think I won’t write to you anymore. Just know that I love you. Always.

Yours forever,

Harry

Dear Ginny,

I got married today. Parvati made for a really beautiful bride. And she glowed with such joy. I’m happy that I was able to make her so happy, despite having not noticed her for a decade and a half of our acquaintance. Seems to be a pattern with me, huh? She never lets me forget the time I took her to the Yule Ball and didn’t dance with her or bring her a drink or even carry on a conversation with her. How do I always end up the dunce in my relationships with women?

But yeah. I guess I’m happy now. I’ve found my girl and I’ve settled down. The hero has a princess at last. And she’s sweet and gentle and never yells at me when I do something stupid. Which is really quite often if Hermione is to be believed. And Hermione is the mother of Ron’s baby, so if she thinks I’m being stupid, chances are she’s spot on.

We’re moving into our new house in town tomorrow. It’s close enough to the Ministry that I don’t have to travel very far to get to work. You know how much I hate travelling by Floo. Muggle transportation for life! And she’s starting work at a shop down the street in a couple of weeks. We’re going to be a right proper household.

I honestly can’t believe how far I’ve come. From a scrawny little boy under my aunt and uncle’s stair, wearing my cousin’s castoffs, to a full grown man with a place of my own. I’ve even grown out a beard now. Parvati hates it and wants me to shave it all off, but I’m taking my time on that. I’ll admit that it does make me look rather skeevy, but I can make my own decisions for crying out loud. Pretty sure I’ve earned that much.

I hope you’re happy, wherever you are. Last I heard you were touring the wizarding sights in Europe with the ferret. I can’t imagine him being terribly good company, but at least you’re getting a cultural experience. That’s what grown-ups are all about, right?

Do you ever think of me at all? I think of you every time I go out to the burrow to visit your mum and dad. Sometimes in the Ministry when I have to go down to the lower levels where we went to find my prophecy. The handful of times I’ve gone to Hogwarts. On business or to visit the Professors Longbottom. Luna especially makes me think of you since you were such friends. She always tells me of your letters.

You’re so far away now, having so many adventures. I can’t imagine you settling down with me like Parvati and just being quiet and happy. But damn it do I ever want it. I hate myself for saying this with my new wife just in the next room, but I wish it was you. I wish I hadn’t waited. I wish I had noticed you when I was still everything you wanted. I wish I was bold enough to have fought for you.

But I guess there’s nothing we can do about that now. I have to let you go.

Bittersweetly,

Harry

Dear Ginny,

I saw you today in the shops. You looked amazing. So healthy and happy; vibrant with life. Of course you were always vibrant. And I don’t just mean your hair. Which is of course vibrant, but I watched you chat and laugh with Madam Malkin as you tried on robes. Very nice robes. Are you going to an event? Perhaps the Christmas gala at the Ministry next week. I should think about getting a new robe, too.

Would you notice me then? Would our eyes meet across the floor and you would finally remember everything that could have been? Would you regret walking away from me? Would you wish I wasn’t married so that you could have another chance?

Parvati wants to have a baby. We’ve been married for a year and a half, so I guess it’s probably time we at least talked about it. I would like to have kids, I think. And I love my wife. I just feel like I’m betraying you somehow. It was supposed to be us. We would have been the hero couple.

It’s weird. Because in a way I think she actually is better suited to me. She’s quiet and sweet and happy to spend all of her days at home with me. You are just as wild as you always were. I don’t think I could keep up with you as you blaze around the world. Always active. But I would have loved to try. I think your passion would have rubbed off on me eventually. At least a little bit.

Malfoy can sure keep up with you. I feel like he’s probably a bad influence on you. I saw that story in the German papers last month. Sure, no one could prove it was you and him who were spotted in the hotel pool, but how many couples are as recognizable as you? You’re a favourite in the gossip sheets. The words they use to describe your relationship… like you’re a cosmic event or something.

Anyway. It was good to see you back in the country. I’m glad you’re doing so well. You’re clearly happy. I still think about you from time to time.

Nostalgic,

Harry

Dear Ginny,

I was right. You attended the Christmas gala. Accompanied by Malfoy, of course. It was silly of me to think it would be any other way. The pair of you are practically inseparable.

Your silver gown was absolutely glorious on you. I never really considered silver to be a colour one could wear, but you’ve made it my new favourite. You glittered like the north star and every eye was on you when you entered the room. I think Parvati noticed me staring at you, because she gave me the cold shoulder for a good hour, despite my plying her with drinks and taking her on the dance floor. She forgave me when she realized I wasn’t the only husband so affected. You really do have a magnetic effect.

And Malfoy knows what a treasure he’s got. He walked around the whole night, puffed as a peacock to have you on his arm. He could be heard loudly bragging about your accomplishments through the whole room. Lead editor of your political traveling magazine. First witch to be granted honorary royal titles outside of her own country. It makes me both proud of you and rather irked that it’s him sharing your success.

It was halfway through the night when you finally came round to talk to me. You obviously met with Ron and Hermione first, him being your brother and all. You seemed perfectly relaxed and in control while I was bumbling and don’t half remember what I said. All I could think about was how radiant you were and you were actually here. I could reach out my hand and touch your arm. I didn’t, but I wanted to. You complimented Parvati’s dress and she beamed for the rest of the night. You’re practically a celebrity, even though we went to school with you.

You’re as unreachable as the moon. I wish you’d come closer to earth more often, but I’m afraid I would drown in your vivacity. I can see in you the same girl I knew so long ago. You wobbled in your heels and Malfoy put my reflexes to shame as he caught your elbow again and again. You still snort when you’re trying to cover up your laughter and then blush so very very red in embarrassment. You can still swear Ron under the table when the press isn’t close enough to hear you. But you’re also so much more of a woman now. You’re confident and bold and you have a strength about you that I envy. You know what you want and you’re out there, having it.

I wish I could have you, but I’m glad I’m not holding you back. Because I definitely would. I would have tamed you too much if you chose me. I might have become bigger and better, but you would have softened and cooled down and you wouldn’t be quite the same radiant, glorious creature you are now. I’m still struggling to let you go.

Awestruck,

Harry

Dear Ginny,

So it’s finally happened. You’ve gone and tied the knot with Malfoy. As if we all haven’t seen it coming for the last decade. I have the great pride and honour of saying that I was there for your first moment. I saw the great couple come together. Him comforting you that day in your grief over your brother. Bully for me.

By all tellings it was a beautiful ceremony. Part of me wanted to blow off work and take the train up to Scotland, just to be there and watch your happy moment. I really wanted to be happy for you. But I could not overcome the part of me that still resents Malfoy for being the one. That you could have lost interest in me, the hero, and gone for basically my exact opposite.

I know that’s not how things are. He turned out to be alright in the end. Not an upstanding citizen by any stretch of the imagination, but not an evil minion of the Dark Lord at all. And anyone can tell he truly cares about you. He puts effort into making you happy and giving you a good life with everything you could ever need or want. And that makes him a hero in my book. I may not like it, but I’m glad someone will take care of you since I cannot.

I can’t help but see pictures of you everywhere since the announcement. You really do look radiant in your bridal gowns. And your smile is almost too big. You’re going to get wrinkles. I guess that was going to happen anyway, though. You’re always happy these days.

I’ve brought little James up to see your mum. I can hear them playing cards downstairs. I’m sitting on your old bed with your old Quidditch jersey across my lap. It’s horribly foolish and I know it, but I couldn’t seem to resist the compulsion. Just to be close to the girl I loved. The one who loved me before I pulled my head out long enough to realize it. The one who I missed in the blink of an eye.

I was going to read your diary, but I decided against it. Even more than being too much of an invasion into your privacy, I don’t think I could handle finding what I would be looking for there. Reading about myself in the glowing terms and childish hand of your hero crush period. It would just be too much in the face of this permanence. It’s far, far too late to go back.

I’m going to say goodbye to you now. I’m going to hang up your jersey and leave your room, locking the door behind me like I should have done years ago. I’m going to pick up my son and give him a great big hug. I’m going to return home to my wife and rub her back and make her dinner. She’s so tired now that our baby girl is only days from arriving. I’m going to let myself be happy in the life I’ve built with her. It’s a good life and we’re a good family and I’ve been cheating myself by holding onto this for so long.

I’ll never forget you, Ginny. I can’t say I’ll never again think about what could have been, or wonder if you ever think about it. I won’t ever get over the lingering irritation when I think about Malfoy holding you and sleeping next to you at night. There’s a corner of my heart where I’ll store all our memories and happy thoughts and the smiles that used to be for me. I love you, Ginny.

Always,

Harry