Another night, another Narcotic’s Anonymous meeting. Draco made a pot of coffee the Muggle way, wondering if he would see Ginny again, and what condition she would be in if he did.
The sunken, hollow cheeks told him everything he needed to know; Ginny was an addict in denial, as all addicts are at first. Draco knew it had taken him time to realize that he was powerless over heroin and that his life had become unmanageable. He had denied it for a whole year as his life spiraled out of control.
Ginny was currently starting her downward spiral. He wasn’t sure what exactly had happened, but something had led her to the meeting, and Draco suspected it was something or someone outside of her control.
Draco knew exactly what Ginny was struggling with. No addict wanted to actually admit what they were to themselves or anyone else for that matter. Draco had scoffed at the idea at first, even as track marks littered his arms.
Funnily enough, it was Longbottom who helped Draco save himself. Apparently, his Muggle girl friend was a recovered addict; when he saw Draco lying on a park bench asleep, he knew instinctually what was going on. That night he took Draco to a meeting.
Draco didn’t remember any of it; he had been so out of it from the heroin that he couldn’t stay awake, It wasn’t until twelve hours later when he woke up on Neville’s couch that Draco knew something was very off.
And yet when Neville had tried telling Draco about addiction, Draco had become increasingly hostile. Finally he had left, just barely missing Neville’s head as he threw the Big Book. Draco assumed he went and got high because the next thing he knew he was waking up in a gutter, needle still in his arm, and rain pouring down on him. Draco had gone back to Longbottom’s place as he had nowhere else to go; his parents had kicked him out months earlier.
Draco barely paid attention to what Neville said about addiction. It would take Draco four more months of hell and Narcotics Anonymous meetings for Draco to accept he was indeed a heroin addict. Then came the hellish detox, and the all- consuming cravings; the very thing that told him to stop also told him he NEEDED heroin.
Draco stopped, took a breath, and tried to ignore the feeling in his stomach that only heroin would cause. Even after five years, he couldn’t describe what a craving felt like. He just knew it meant for him to buy and use heroin.
Draco pushed his thoughts aside, finished making the coffee, and straightened the NA and AA literature. And the craving was gone. Just as easily as it came, it faded. It had been awhile since Draco had an urge, but it was a reminder of how powerless to heroin he still was.
The bell above the door tinkled, and Draco turned around to watch as Ginny walked in, her hair neatly fixed and a dull look in her eyes. She had used.
But she had come back, and that was a start. Draco knew exactly where she was in her head because he too had been there, but he couldn’t force the truth on anyone. The addict had to admit they were an addict before they could get help. Draco only hoped the meetings would be enough for Ginny Weasley.
“Hey, Red, glad to see you back,” Draco said.
Ginny rolled her eyes and said, “I am only here because I have to be here, Malfoy.”
Draco shrugged, because that was irrelevant. All that mattered was that she had come to the Fellowship again.
“Did you read part of the book I gave you?” Draco asked as Ginny fixed herself a strong cup of coffee.
Ginny shook her head. “I had to deal with George today,” she said by way of explanation.
If she didn’t have such dark circles under her eyes and she wasn’t so sickly thin, Ginny Weasley could have been a knockout. Especially given how feisty she had been in school.
“Are you ever going to tell me why you have to be here?” Draco asked.
Ginny snorted and said, “I would have to kill you if I told you that.”
Draco leaned against the table as Ginny sat down in a chair. She looked very unsure of herself. Draco’s heart ached for her. It wouldn’t be long before the addiction completely changed her. It was what the disease did.
“I believe in full confidentiality, Red. Whatever you tell me doesn’t leave this room,” he assured her.
Draco watched her mentally debate with herself. Finally she spoke.
“My team Captain, Gwenog Jones, caught me in the locker room snorting cocaine. I either got clean and came here, or I lost my place on the team.”
“And are you clean?” Draco tested.
Ginny became suddenly defensive. “Of course I am! I’m not about to lose my career behind something so stupid!”
She was lying and they both knew it, but Draco didn’t call her out on it. At that point it would only ensure to push her away from the meetings instead of bringing her into them.
“That is good!” he enthused, and she blushed out of guilt.
The bell tinkled again, signaling that someone else had walked in. Draco dropped the subject, focusing instead on the Muggle girl named Emily. She was now six months clean, and Draco couldn’t have been more proud of her.
The room slowly filled up, and all throughout the meeting, Draco kept his gaze roaming so no one would notice he was watching their newest member, Ginny Weasley.
Tonight, she seemed to actually be listening, though she made no effort to speak. Draco felt that what he was saying would impact her, so when he spoke, he made sure to lock eyes with her occasionally.
“Hi, I’m Draco, and I’m a recovering addict,” Draco began, and everyone chorused hello.
“I didn’t get clean overnight. Despite going to meetings, I kept using. My roommate was my sponsor and accountability partner. They guy has never touched drugs, he was just the only person who refused to give up on me. Because everyone else in the meetings was convinced I would die of an overdose, including myself. But not him.
“So every morning when I woke up, he would read to me part of the AA and NA books. And I remember thinking he was completely crazy. He wasn’t asking me to pay rent, he fed me three square meals a day, and all he asked was that I spend one hour an evening at one of those meetings. So I did. For four months, I used and attended daily meetings. I listened to everyone share their experiences, but I always said I couldn’t relate.”
Draco sucked his teeth for a minute as he watched Ginny. She was leaning forward in her seat, her eyes never leaving his.
“One day my roommate challenged me. He said, ‘Draco, if you’re not an addict, just stop. Prove to me you aren’t an addict.’
“So I stopped. For about two days. My willpower wasn’t enough. Just like yours isn’t and never will be. I realized I was powerless to my drug, and I couldn’t stop on my own. I wasn’t even totally sure I wanted to quit. I knew I was an addict, but for awhile, I was convinced self-knowledge would be enough.
“Right during that time, I was dating another heroin addict. She was stunning, but she had so many demons in herself. She hated herself with an intensity that scared me, as it rightly should have.”
Draco shook his head and took a deep breath. He hated this story. He hated what he had done by enabling Astoria. But as he looked at Ginny, he knew it was worth reliving the pain if he could only get her to see she had a problem.
“My roommate was at work, so Astoria came over with heroin. She kept telling me she hurt, and I thought heroin was the solution. It gets rid of physical pain, so maybe it would ease her mental pain like it did for me.
“Selfish prick that I was, I shot myself up first. It was stronger than I thought it was, and I promptly passed out. I was out for four hours. When I came to, I saw my girlfriend convulsing. I had no idea what to do. I watched as she took her last breath in front of me and died. All because she couldn’t stop the mental pain. She just wanted to forget her dad touching her. And in the end, she did. But she forgot everything else, too.”
Ginny’s mouth was open in horror, and she had one hand covering it.
Draco sighed. “That was my last time using. You see, we completely forget or disregard that these drugs can kill us. It is always someone else that it happens to; we know our own limits. We got this. And hell, maybe I did have it, but not in that moment. In that moment, when I was unable to think or even see clearly because of drugs, someone died.
“So if you are here thinking you aren’t an addict, test yourself. Just stop using. Don’t wait until someone dies to do something about your problem.
“Let’s close out the meeting,” Draco said, and everyone stood and joined hands.
Ginny joined, but she was looking at Draco like she had never truly seen him before. She hung back after the meeting to speak with him.
“How did you like the meeting?” he asked.
Ginny shook her head as she said, “I didn’t. But I’m going to try your challenge. Maybe if I can prove to you I’m not an addict, I can prove it to Gwenog.”
Draco smirked. “Red, if you can prove to me you aren’t an addict I’ll tell Gwenog Jones myself that you deserve to play.”
The sunken, hollow cheeks told him everything he needed to know; Ginny was an addict in denial, as all addicts are at first. Draco knew it had taken him time to realize that he was powerless over heroin and that his life had become unmanageable. He had denied it for a whole year as his life spiraled out of control.
Ginny was currently starting her downward spiral. He wasn’t sure what exactly had happened, but something had led her to the meeting, and Draco suspected it was something or someone outside of her control.
Draco knew exactly what Ginny was struggling with. No addict wanted to actually admit what they were to themselves or anyone else for that matter. Draco had scoffed at the idea at first, even as track marks littered his arms.
Funnily enough, it was Longbottom who helped Draco save himself. Apparently, his Muggle girl friend was a recovered addict; when he saw Draco lying on a park bench asleep, he knew instinctually what was going on. That night he took Draco to a meeting.
Draco didn’t remember any of it; he had been so out of it from the heroin that he couldn’t stay awake, It wasn’t until twelve hours later when he woke up on Neville’s couch that Draco knew something was very off.
And yet when Neville had tried telling Draco about addiction, Draco had become increasingly hostile. Finally he had left, just barely missing Neville’s head as he threw the Big Book. Draco assumed he went and got high because the next thing he knew he was waking up in a gutter, needle still in his arm, and rain pouring down on him. Draco had gone back to Longbottom’s place as he had nowhere else to go; his parents had kicked him out months earlier.
Draco barely paid attention to what Neville said about addiction. It would take Draco four more months of hell and Narcotics Anonymous meetings for Draco to accept he was indeed a heroin addict. Then came the hellish detox, and the all- consuming cravings; the very thing that told him to stop also told him he NEEDED heroin.
Draco stopped, took a breath, and tried to ignore the feeling in his stomach that only heroin would cause. Even after five years, he couldn’t describe what a craving felt like. He just knew it meant for him to buy and use heroin.
Draco pushed his thoughts aside, finished making the coffee, and straightened the NA and AA literature. And the craving was gone. Just as easily as it came, it faded. It had been awhile since Draco had an urge, but it was a reminder of how powerless to heroin he still was.
The bell above the door tinkled, and Draco turned around to watch as Ginny walked in, her hair neatly fixed and a dull look in her eyes. She had used.
But she had come back, and that was a start. Draco knew exactly where she was in her head because he too had been there, but he couldn’t force the truth on anyone. The addict had to admit they were an addict before they could get help. Draco only hoped the meetings would be enough for Ginny Weasley.
“Hey, Red, glad to see you back,” Draco said.
Ginny rolled her eyes and said, “I am only here because I have to be here, Malfoy.”
Draco shrugged, because that was irrelevant. All that mattered was that she had come to the Fellowship again.
“Did you read part of the book I gave you?” Draco asked as Ginny fixed herself a strong cup of coffee.
Ginny shook her head. “I had to deal with George today,” she said by way of explanation.
If she didn’t have such dark circles under her eyes and she wasn’t so sickly thin, Ginny Weasley could have been a knockout. Especially given how feisty she had been in school.
“Are you ever going to tell me why you have to be here?” Draco asked.
Ginny snorted and said, “I would have to kill you if I told you that.”
Draco leaned against the table as Ginny sat down in a chair. She looked very unsure of herself. Draco’s heart ached for her. It wouldn’t be long before the addiction completely changed her. It was what the disease did.
“I believe in full confidentiality, Red. Whatever you tell me doesn’t leave this room,” he assured her.
Draco watched her mentally debate with herself. Finally she spoke.
“My team Captain, Gwenog Jones, caught me in the locker room snorting cocaine. I either got clean and came here, or I lost my place on the team.”
“And are you clean?” Draco tested.
Ginny became suddenly defensive. “Of course I am! I’m not about to lose my career behind something so stupid!”
She was lying and they both knew it, but Draco didn’t call her out on it. At that point it would only ensure to push her away from the meetings instead of bringing her into them.
“That is good!” he enthused, and she blushed out of guilt.
The bell tinkled again, signaling that someone else had walked in. Draco dropped the subject, focusing instead on the Muggle girl named Emily. She was now six months clean, and Draco couldn’t have been more proud of her.
The room slowly filled up, and all throughout the meeting, Draco kept his gaze roaming so no one would notice he was watching their newest member, Ginny Weasley.
Tonight, she seemed to actually be listening, though she made no effort to speak. Draco felt that what he was saying would impact her, so when he spoke, he made sure to lock eyes with her occasionally.
“Hi, I’m Draco, and I’m a recovering addict,” Draco began, and everyone chorused hello.
“I didn’t get clean overnight. Despite going to meetings, I kept using. My roommate was my sponsor and accountability partner. They guy has never touched drugs, he was just the only person who refused to give up on me. Because everyone else in the meetings was convinced I would die of an overdose, including myself. But not him.
“So every morning when I woke up, he would read to me part of the AA and NA books. And I remember thinking he was completely crazy. He wasn’t asking me to pay rent, he fed me three square meals a day, and all he asked was that I spend one hour an evening at one of those meetings. So I did. For four months, I used and attended daily meetings. I listened to everyone share their experiences, but I always said I couldn’t relate.”
Draco sucked his teeth for a minute as he watched Ginny. She was leaning forward in her seat, her eyes never leaving his.
“One day my roommate challenged me. He said, ‘Draco, if you’re not an addict, just stop. Prove to me you aren’t an addict.’
“So I stopped. For about two days. My willpower wasn’t enough. Just like yours isn’t and never will be. I realized I was powerless to my drug, and I couldn’t stop on my own. I wasn’t even totally sure I wanted to quit. I knew I was an addict, but for awhile, I was convinced self-knowledge would be enough.
“Right during that time, I was dating another heroin addict. She was stunning, but she had so many demons in herself. She hated herself with an intensity that scared me, as it rightly should have.”
Draco shook his head and took a deep breath. He hated this story. He hated what he had done by enabling Astoria. But as he looked at Ginny, he knew it was worth reliving the pain if he could only get her to see she had a problem.
“My roommate was at work, so Astoria came over with heroin. She kept telling me she hurt, and I thought heroin was the solution. It gets rid of physical pain, so maybe it would ease her mental pain like it did for me.
“Selfish prick that I was, I shot myself up first. It was stronger than I thought it was, and I promptly passed out. I was out for four hours. When I came to, I saw my girlfriend convulsing. I had no idea what to do. I watched as she took her last breath in front of me and died. All because she couldn’t stop the mental pain. She just wanted to forget her dad touching her. And in the end, she did. But she forgot everything else, too.”
Ginny’s mouth was open in horror, and she had one hand covering it.
Draco sighed. “That was my last time using. You see, we completely forget or disregard that these drugs can kill us. It is always someone else that it happens to; we know our own limits. We got this. And hell, maybe I did have it, but not in that moment. In that moment, when I was unable to think or even see clearly because of drugs, someone died.
“So if you are here thinking you aren’t an addict, test yourself. Just stop using. Don’t wait until someone dies to do something about your problem.
“Let’s close out the meeting,” Draco said, and everyone stood and joined hands.
Ginny joined, but she was looking at Draco like she had never truly seen him before. She hung back after the meeting to speak with him.
“How did you like the meeting?” he asked.
Ginny shook her head as she said, “I didn’t. But I’m going to try your challenge. Maybe if I can prove to you I’m not an addict, I can prove it to Gwenog.”
Draco smirked. “Red, if you can prove to me you aren’t an addict I’ll tell Gwenog Jones myself that you deserve to play.”
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