Disclaimer: I don't own anything! Believe me.
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I wonder what it is that makes him notice me. I wonder what it was about me that first caught his eye. Look at me. Draco says that I'm the most beautiful woman he's ever seen...but how is that possible? Perhaps I’m not ugly, but I’m not stunningly beautiful either. Compare me to Cho Chang or Lavender Brown or one of the Patil twins and I would call myself drab. And just think of all the women he's seen in his lifetime. He's never pretended to have been sheltered. He's admitted that he's been around the block a few times. There are so many women that he must have met before that are really, truly beautiful. I’m not beautiful. I’m just me.
He says that he wakes up in the morning and thinks of me, and when he does, the morning is brighter than it was before. But how could that be? I’ve grown up with six older brothers. I know that when they get up all they’re thinking about is breakfast. Well, that or how to hide their hangovers from Mum. The plain truth is that when they've just woken up, they're not thinking. Even Ron, madly in love with Hermione as he is, barely pays attention to her until he's been up for a bit. How could Draco think of me first thing? I'm not memorable enough to break through the morning haze. I'm just me.
He says I'm fascinating. He says that he could listen to me for hours. That he doesn't just love me for my body--my outward appearance--or my pretty face, but also for my mind. If I'm to believe him, he says that I'm the only girl he knows who he can truly talk to. He says that the conversations we have are unique to any relationship he's ever had before. How do I know this though? How do I know that he doesn't just feign interest in whatever it is we're talking about? And I know that he could. This is Draco Malfoy. His life has made him into a person who can fake any emotion, while hiding what he really thinks and feels about a subject. I'd like to think that I could see through him, but I know that, in reality, if he doesn't want me to know what he's really thinking, I won't. I'm not horribly smart. My thoughts aren't horribly deep. I'm just basically average. I'm just me.
He says that he loves me. He says that he doesn't know what he would do without me. That I keep him sane. But I don't know. He's done okay so far on his own. He made it seventeen years of his life without me. I'm sure that he could go back to that. Let's face it. I'm not always a strong person. I have my moments, but they tend to be few and far between. I'm there for him, but I can't fix things. I can't help him deal with the people that frustrate him. I can't protect him from the evil that he has to face in his life. All I can do is be there. Surely someday he'll grow tired of that and want me to do more for him. Surely someday he'll tell me that what I'm doing for him isn't enough, that he'll want more. That he'll want me to stand my ground beside him in front of the world. But what if I'm not ready? I'm so much weaker than people think. I'm afraid so much. What if I let him down? What if someday he realizes that what we have together isn't enough? I'll let him down. I'm just me.
I don't know what I'll do if he ever sees me truly. He says that he does, but how am I to believe him. I'm just me. No one could love me like he says he does. How do I believe him? I'm scared. Scared to trust again. The last time I trusted so deeply I was hurt. Hurt badly. Draco is so much like him. What if he's too much like him...?
But Draco says he'll never do that. He says he'll never ask me to be anything I'm not. He says that he'll never ask me to do things I don't want to do. He says that I can trust him and that he won't hurt me. He won't try to control me. He won't let me down. That all I have to do is trust him. How do I tell him that he's not the one who scares me?
I need to live every day, choosing to believe. I need to live every day choosing to be secure, knowing that I am the girl who Draco fell in love with. He knows me. He loves me. Even though I am just me...
~Fin~
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A/N: Just a short bit that ran through my head during the wee hours of the morning. Tell me what you think! And if enough people like this, I have an idea for a companion fic to this that's partly formed in my mind. Tell me if you think I should try to work on that or not!
I wonder what it is that makes him notice me. I wonder what it was about me that first caught his eye. Look at me. Draco says that I'm the most beautiful woman he's ever seen...but how is that possible? Perhaps I’m not ugly, but I’m not stunningly beautiful either. Compare me to Cho Chang or Lavender Brown or one of the Patil twins and I would call myself drab. And just think of all the women he's seen in his lifetime. He's never pretended to have been sheltered. He's admitted that he's been around the block a few times. There are so many women that he must have met before that are really, truly beautiful. I’m not beautiful. I’m just me.
He says that he wakes up in the morning and thinks of me, and when he does, the morning is brighter than it was before. But how could that be? I’ve grown up with six older brothers. I know that when they get up all they’re thinking about is breakfast. Well, that or how to hide their hangovers from Mum. The plain truth is that when they've just woken up, they're not thinking. Even Ron, madly in love with Hermione as he is, barely pays attention to her until he's been up for a bit. How could Draco think of me first thing? I'm not memorable enough to break through the morning haze. I'm just me.
He says I'm fascinating. He says that he could listen to me for hours. That he doesn't just love me for my body--my outward appearance--or my pretty face, but also for my mind. If I'm to believe him, he says that I'm the only girl he knows who he can truly talk to. He says that the conversations we have are unique to any relationship he's ever had before. How do I know this though? How do I know that he doesn't just feign interest in whatever it is we're talking about? And I know that he could. This is Draco Malfoy. His life has made him into a person who can fake any emotion, while hiding what he really thinks and feels about a subject. I'd like to think that I could see through him, but I know that, in reality, if he doesn't want me to know what he's really thinking, I won't. I'm not horribly smart. My thoughts aren't horribly deep. I'm just basically average. I'm just me.
He says that he loves me. He says that he doesn't know what he would do without me. That I keep him sane. But I don't know. He's done okay so far on his own. He made it seventeen years of his life without me. I'm sure that he could go back to that. Let's face it. I'm not always a strong person. I have my moments, but they tend to be few and far between. I'm there for him, but I can't fix things. I can't help him deal with the people that frustrate him. I can't protect him from the evil that he has to face in his life. All I can do is be there. Surely someday he'll grow tired of that and want me to do more for him. Surely someday he'll tell me that what I'm doing for him isn't enough, that he'll want more. That he'll want me to stand my ground beside him in front of the world. But what if I'm not ready? I'm so much weaker than people think. I'm afraid so much. What if I let him down? What if someday he realizes that what we have together isn't enough? I'll let him down. I'm just me.
I don't know what I'll do if he ever sees me truly. He says that he does, but how am I to believe him. I'm just me. No one could love me like he says he does. How do I believe him? I'm scared. Scared to trust again. The last time I trusted so deeply I was hurt. Hurt badly. Draco is so much like him. What if he's too much like him...?
But Draco says he'll never do that. He says he'll never ask me to be anything I'm not. He says that he'll never ask me to do things I don't want to do. He says that I can trust him and that he won't hurt me. He won't try to control me. He won't let me down. That all I have to do is trust him. How do I tell him that he's not the one who scares me?
I need to live every day, choosing to believe. I need to live every day choosing to be secure, knowing that I am the girl who Draco fell in love with. He knows me. He loves me. Even though I am just me...
*~*~*
A/N: Just a short bit that ran through my head during the wee hours of the morning. Tell me what you think! And if enough people like this, I have an idea for a companion fic to this that's partly formed in my mind. Tell me if you think I should try to work on that or not!
The End.
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