It all started with an insult and a stolen kiss, then it became so much more.Category: Works in Progress
Draco and Ginny at Hogwarts. The prequel to And Baby Makes Three.
Ginny's not a whore. Well, actually, I've read whore Ginny, and, sadly, liked it. But she shouldn't be a whore. Then again, I guess she'd probably sleep with him anyway, under the right circumstances. And I guess if a girl gets desperate enough. How depressing.
I'm assuming you're not planning on finishing this as you haven't updated it in, oh, two years. But, just so you know, as I started reading it yesterday, that idea saddens me quite a lot. I guess I'll have to satisfy myself with your other stuff. Good writing here though. Keep it up.
Ginny Weasley on Draco Malfoy and other things.Category: Completed Short Stories
That's certainly an interesting idea. I read the original right before I read this and it's generally very good. The only thing I don't think quite worked was the second to last chunk. The jump to the pensieves didn't seem to fit, and made it very obvious that you're trying to fit a pattern. I think it's more important that it sounds good than that you get the pattern just right.
A girl's chastity is her prize...it's what makes her a prize to her husband's marriage bed and an honour to his family's name...Category: Works in Progress
I love your voice. It's wonderful. Just make sure you don't overuse it. It's great in this chapter, but you need to make sure you can get real story in with it as it goes on.
Draco and Ginny have unofficially declared war until one day, Ginny discovers something about Draco that changes her whole perspective of him. *COMPLETE*Category: Long and Completed
This is a little repetitive as well as confusing at the end. I think you kind of forgot that you'd already ended it, so you ended it again.
"Only problem was, this was Ginevra Weasley I was dealing with, and her feelings and knowledge of me meant entirely too much to me than they ought to."
Is a piano playing in the dark enough to make Ginny fall in love with Draco? And is it enough to keep them together?Category: Long and Completed
It would be really nice if you could stop using the term "luv". I understand that is does have a slightly different feeling, but it, frankly, isn't a word and net speak isn't actually allowed on this archive.
Besides that, though, the story is coming across quite nicely.
Author's Response: Thanks for taking the time to review. I\'m afraid I\'ll be continuing to use \'luv\' though. It\'s a term of endearment, and I don\'t think of it as having the same meaning or sound as \'love. I\'m sorry it bothers you. And no offense, but if it wasn\'t allowed on the archive, they\'d have told me that during one of my many chapter submissions.
You say "Bill especially liked Draco' switched around with different words here twice. It's really only necessary once. ^_^
"Bill especially. Ginny had known that he and Charlie would be easier to convince than the others, since they had never known Draco personally. Bill in particular seemed to take to Draco."
[That passage came from when you were talking about Draco's visits to the Weasleys at the first.]
Author's Response: Didn\'t catch that. Thanks.
You have a beautiful voice.
It is wonderful how Draco's letter is so beautiful and Ginny's so short and to the point, lacking any sort of flesh or avoidance. I think it shows something about them, just in that, besides what they actually said.
That story was gorgeous. I had to read it when I read the story because I play piano and love the piano and, above all, think it's unbearably sexy. (Especially in the Corpse Bride...) I loved the thought of Draco playing. He's so refined and yet, so weak and emotional sometimes. It's perfect for a musician.
Good Job, and Keep Writing. I can't wait to read your next story. (Or the next chapter of "Some Things Never Change".)
Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to read the story and review and offer your views. I always appreciate thoughtful reviews, no matter what the opinion of the reader! STNC has a new chapter in submission, I hope you enjoy it and continue to offer me your opinions!
"Ohhhh--It seems like I can finally rest my head on something real--I like the way that feels" -- Songfic featuring Ashlee Simpson's 'Pieces Of Me'Category: Completed Short Stories
Could you give this chapter a name. It doesn't have to be original, but it's weird for the other chapters to have titles and this one not to.
Aww...Poor Draco. He needs more hugs.
I frankly am paying too much attention to the story to critique it, so I really can't say much but that I like it.
I love this song. I have to admit this song is a total guilty pleasure. I'm normally a rock girl, but then there are a couple of really good pop songs you can't really ignore. If I actually admitted to likely Ashley Simpson, I would likely be mocked quite frequently, even though none of my friends actually care.
I know you think you're finished with this. Generally, song-fics are short, mostly one shots, but this definitely seems worthy of a plot, if you wanted to give it one. Well, just so you know, I think you should go on with it. Though, it's your opinion, not mine that really matters here.
A six-year old Ginny meets a seven-year old Draco in the Ministry of Magic while waiting for her father. An innocent friendship forms, and they remain playmates throughout their childhood—unbeknownst to their families. However, moving on to Hogwarts splits them, because they each have their own images and families to support—but they will never forget their childhood memories. Details what really happens behind the scenes between Draco and Ginny during the first five years at Hogwarts. Pairings: Draco/Ginny. NOTE: Temporarily abandoned until I find more inspiration. I did, however, halt my story at a good stopping point, which perhaps is why I'm so reluctant to begin again. Regardless, I hope you enjoy what is here, and I will write again when I have the time and motivation. ^^Category: Works in Progress
The conversations in this chapter are much too sophisticated for six year olds. The last conversation I held with a six year old (which was actually today) consisted of the fact that it took one short cut to reach our church and two to reach our grandmother's house. He repeated this about three times. These "six year olds" sound like twelve year olds, at least. This could almost be a conversation between to high school students. Be careful when you're working with little kids. Think about both the complexity of their thought process and their ability to express their thoughts with a limited vocabulary.
You're doing much better on the age thing in these Hogwarts chapters than before. Good job.
Don't worry that it's going too slow. Yes, we all want them to just get down and snog occasionally, but that doesn't mean we should always have what we want. You've probably heard the saying "marry your best friend". Use it. They need to become friends before they start a relationship, if you want said relationship to actually work out (and I know, they are, but right now, they are starting to realize they don't know each other nearly as well as they thought they did. ) They're never going to stop fighting. No couple ever completely stops fighting, but their fights will change over time and they will compromise, have a good relationship for a while and then some new stupid thing will come up and they'll think they hate each other again, even though they don't. That's just how relationships are, you can't really avoid it.
Keep it up. I look forward to seeing your next chapter. It's really interesting to look at the books from such a different point of view.
Draco passes time by playing Quidditch, but catches Ginny drawing a picture of him. Draco's POV. Companion to 'Fading Lines' (each stands alone, but are written about the same event)Category: Completed Short Stories
Parallels are difficult. I'd say you did a pretty decent job, especially as (judging from your a/n) you didn't spend a lot of time revising and checking it. I can't really say though, because I read Fading Lines first, so I didn't have any kind of confusion.
*Complete* "There are hundreds of invisible people in the world – the ones that you would never notice. You can see them, because they are there, but you don’t SEE them really. I realized that night that I was invisible." When you feel invisible, you'd do anything to have someone really see you; the way you've always wanted to be seen. But if the only person who actually sees you is the last person you'd ever expect it to be, what do you do? [Post Hogwarts]Category: Long and Completed
For all your whinnying about your inability to write fluff and endings, I think you did an admirable job of both. This story was definitely interesting. It was strange because the feeling of it, the kind of stuff you dealt with was, kind of, what I've read a million times before. But then your way of pulling it off made it, without a doubt, original. And the unicorns was certainly an individual idea.
By the way, I loved Darien and Vincent. It's always hard to create believable, interesting original characters, and you did a wonderful job. I especially liked the way I could feel Darien's air how he came in a the tone of the room immediately darkened. You were consistent with that and it made him, with only half the reader’s conscious mind noticing, a much more frightening demeanor and made his twist less anticipated.
I’m interested to see your future stories. Keep writing, and good luck
Draco and Ginny develop feelings for each other but refuse to do anything about it. Will this change when someone makes it their mission to get them together while others try to keep them apart?Category: Works in Progress
Good, but very short. So...the only solution is...Update. I do think that Ginny does react to Draco lots easier than it seems she would, but we the impression that she hates him really doesn't have as much founding as we'd sometimes like to think it does. Ginny could actually think the Trio is rather stupid about their treatment of him, now that she doesn't worship Potter anymore. She does exhibit quite a bit of resentment with the statement
"Draco, will you please stop calling me 'Weasel'? That's Ron." Keep that resentment. I really like it. It gives you a good twist on Ginny, and that becomes harder and harder to find the more fics I read.
Author's Response: resentment is fun ... lol
10 years after the end of the war, Draco returns to England determined to reclaim his place. Unwittingly, Ginny becomes caught up in the affairs and intrigues of House Malfoy...Category: Long and Completed
You said his uncle 'Luc'? Who in the world is that? Lucius is his father, and I don't know of another 'Luc' name.
I really liked that last paragraph.
You might want to put a warning in that this does not include HBP. You said you wrote it two years ago with should be enough, but an added note would be appriciated.
Author's Response: This response may be a little late (ok, very) but I thought I should answer. I wrote Unforgiven in early \'03, before OotP came out. Back then it wasn\'t *too* AU, only speculative. I suppose I should put a warning in, for unsuspecting readers. And if you haven\'t already figured it out, Luc is one of my OCs from another story...
A Vesica/Mynuet Collaboration. If Ginny had even the slightest inkling of what the day would bring, she probably would have called in sick. A disastrous press conference proved to be no match for the spin doctoring talents of Lush's chief and Ginny finds herself catapulted from being a lowly intern to the very eye of the storm, living a double life as a careerwitch and glamorous front woman for a racy new line. Throw in a few A-list events, a few dozen crises, an endless promotional tour with her new co-worker and the last person she wanted to spend time with, and a mystery waiting back home that neither of them may be able to solve….Every day's an adventure when you're living the Lush Life!Category: Works in Progress
Oh, how the innocent are exploited. This is fun. It'd very creative, and refreshing in that way. One gets so used to reading the same story over and over. You deserve a special type of respect for thinking up your own plot.
Ves says: Well, sort of...The sort of manic feel of the company and the whirlwind of craziness was heavily inspired by The Devil Wears Prada. Of course, that book didn\'t have a single witch or wizard, so I suppose we have improved it greatly!
Myn says: Adding a Draco/Ginny romance improves almost anything by a factor of twenty squillion.
Ooh. So, the press, at least, sees the beauty of a certain blondie and a redhead together. Poor Ginny, she's so out of her circle, she doen't know how to deal with this kind of thing, though I'm sure nobody noticed...too much.
I love the voice in this. It feels very free to me, not calculated at all, but at the same time, not unfinnished. A wonderful balance, in all.
Well, good luck at this story, hopefully with a little more speed, though frankly, considering the speed at which I write, I have to right to say anything at all.
Author's Response: Ves says: Oh the press has raised their little sail and set out to sea on this ‘ship! Thanks for the notes on the tone – I was trying to keep it light and chatty without feeling like one is reading a teenager’s diary!
Myn says: Yes. We\'re definitely shooting for frothy fun here. None of this angst or deep symbolism or beauty of pain business - if you can\'t enjoy yourself, why play?
That was good. Though, the whole thing with Carissa was a little confusing - I had to read it twice. But, fun stuff, no doubt. And now I'm horribly curious as to how Draco could be dating anyone quite as obnoxious as her. I mean, there have to be easier ways to find free, willing sex partners than putting up with that.
Author's Response: Ves says: Huh – sorry to hear that. Where did we lose you?
Myn says: Don't underestimate the factor of not having to make any effort whatsoever.
Draco doesn’t know how to care. Ginny pushes men away. But after Draco fixes a certain problem he’s having with the help of Ginny; they embark on a tumultuous relationship that will change them both.Category: Works in Progress
Well, that was interesting. We get smut and thought together. That's harder to find than it should be. Good job.
It's his last summer holiday before leaving Hogwarts and Draco is in agony over missing Ginny. A wonderful discovery in his father's library gives him the power to be with her...but who will pay the price for the ghastly mistake he overlooks?Category: Works in Progress
This is beautiful. I look forward to seeing your future stories. And, on what you should write next, I think you shouldn't take other people's opinions because I believe that when you're writing fanfiction, you shouldn't be writing for anyone but yourself. And that means you have the right to make whatever decision you want. If you want to extend this storyline simply tell readers that the story was planned before Half Blood Prince. Readers are, generally, very understanding.
Ginny is pregnant and forced into a strict marriage contract. She soon finds herself in the middle of a dark plot that will start the uprising of long vanguished forces.Category: Works in Progress
I like this. I'm annoyed that you're Ginny is so beautiful. But I'm afraid that's not your fault. It's the fault of the author of the story I read just before this and her lovely and very obvious Mary Sue. The truth is that Ginny is supposed to be very pretty. I didn't like that Hermione was though. She has dignity, sure, but she certainly never was beautiful, except, of course, to Ron who very obviously has a sight problem. ^.^
But, that's really little details. In all, I'm very fond of your story. Do keep writing.
"Because she wasn't overly anything to anyone, she came to mean something to me."Category: Completed Short Stories
I really liked this. I would like to make one suggestion though. I would have much prefered it without the last paragraph. 'I already do' is not just a plausible way to end that, it's a very good way to do so. Explaining it makes it mean less. Anyway, good story.
Ginny graduates. Draco attends. Mayhem ensues.Category: Works in Progress
It's a little cliché what, with Hermione pregnant and all that. I also don't see Ginny's family being that accepting. Still, it's fun.