Two and a half years after his failure to kill Albus Dumbledore, Draco has long been accepted back into the ranks of the Death Eaters. He is still obsessively searching for the rebel Ginny Weasley, but he hides that secret well. When she is found one snowy December night, he smuggles her onto the Death Eaters? train with him. And he begins to learn that nothing will ever be the same again?Category: Works in Progress
Now I can't believe I said "The White Crown". I was contemplating going up to my room and finding the book, but decided not to bother and guessed. Thanks for that correction. Except I feel slightly stupid now. XD
This is coming along great. I do get a little confused sometimes, but generally I figure out what was going on before it creates a big problem, so it's not horrible. I'm making sense of this kind of like a puzzle, so though it can be rather frustrating at times, it is also fun, and very intriguing. So, keep up the good work.
That book is very depressing. It reminds me of a collection of fairy tales in "The White Crown" that were twisted to teach the kids to hate and destroy. It's disgusting, really.
I didn't quite understand how Hermione and Snurk became so close. It's very like Hermione to love people most wouldn't. I think she's learned to from all the crap she gets. But I don't see how they even met. I'm hoping we'll get a little more on that soon.
And this line here is very intriguing. But when does he think it? Is it right when he gets back to his cell, or is it much later, when everything has happened? I guess I'll just have to speculate on my own. "I ought to have wondered why he sounded so very sure, Draco thought in the stone room in Azkaban. But I really wasn?t capable of it then. All I could think about was Ginny. My desire for her, and my fear?"
This is a good story, but it is getting kind of long. I keep forgetting what's happened and have to go re-read sections when new chapters get out. So, you should probably start working towards a resolution. But, hell, it's really your choice how long the story and you are a good writer, so I really shouldn't be telling you what to do.
Well, I look forward to and enjoy your updates. Keep it up.
Snurk is adorable. I doubt that was what you were going for, but he is to me. It's the creepy kind of adorable where you want to hug them but deathly afraid to for fear they'll permanantly injure you in some way. But, still, like I said, adorable.
Lovely ending. I can't wait to see what Snape has to say. And I'm glad to see that Draco really can feel again, and that that wasn't just a oine night thing. That was really well written about Ginny standing there with the knife. I liked that idea. That she tried to kill him, but found that she didn't have it in her either. They're so alike, really.
Evasive as ever, I see. So when are you going to give us some real information, I wonder? I don't think you can actually get around it next chapter unless it consists of less than three paragraphs, though, so I'm hopeful.
That's interesting about the tree. There's a lot of possibilities there, though I'm sure you know more about them than I, so I should really just shut up.
Keep it up. You're doing a very good job, as always.
So, you still haven't asnwered my question. Does Ginny still want Harry (or at least, did she)or was Draco just believing that because it was the worst thing he could believe? And, come to think of it, what other secrets is Ginny hiding? You've still got me hooked, lucky you.
Oh, and you're going to hate me now, but once I see something like this, I just can't let it go.
[Quoted from the first paragraph] "He moved slightly and shifted his weight so that he was fully pressed against him. She made a little noise in her throat and fitted herself to him even more completely. "
That's not only repetitive, but actually, it seems to me, rather impossible as if they were already pressed fully against each other, they couldn't get any closer.
Sorry for being an arse. ^_^
Crap. So now I'm royaly unable to sort out anyone, except perhaps, Harry who is just a git. It's lucky you update so often. I just might go mad trying to figure them out.
You're writing of Draco at the first of this chapter was really good. Scary.
Thankyou for your amazing preciceness in the AN at the begining. If you'd made anymore sense, It might have actually made me less, not more, comfused. It's as bad a J.K. Rowling, telling us that we don't know things, but refusing to tell us anything that's absolutely no help at all. ^_^
No, good job. The R/H dialoge was very good. And I like that Draco's starting to (though I'm sure he wouldn't call it that) sympathize with Hermione, and, possibly, even with Ron. Those last few paragraphs were really good to. Keep up the good work.
Do you do nothing but work on this fic? You put up a new long chapter almost everyday it seems. It's incredible. Not that I mind, in the least.
I really hope I'm not supposed to get all the implicantions of the Stonehendge thing, because I'm pretty much lost. All I get is that Ginny has to leave, and, for some reason, Draco can't yet. But Snape obivously either knows more than he's letting on, like Draco, or knows Draco actually understands what he'd saying and is ignoring what it means.
I was a little suprised when none of the reporters inquired further into Scrimgeour's death. It seems like that would be kind of a big deal. Who are these egyptian gods (according to this story) that they can insit that kind of fear simply because they are watching over the criminals. I'd think powerful guards would make people feel safer.
A new game at Hogwarts is meant to develop more Inter-house relationships... but Draco just wants the extra credit.Category: Long and Completed
It's been a while since you've updated. Please do. I really like the plot so far. It's original, and you really shouldn't let it go to waste by forgetting about it.
I don't really have any big criticisms. Nothing really stood out as annoying or confusing. I would like to say that, though I understood it, and I'm sure everyone else figured it out too, the following passage was rather confusing.
" She'd made him laugh out loud the day she told him about making her brother break out in green spots all over his body after he refused to stop badgering her about her nonexistent boyfriends. He was always bugging her about it, and it was ‘obvious’ he had a friend he wanted her to date, but she told Draco that she just wasn’t interested in ‘him’ anymore. She loved making her brother suffer. It was ‘mad fun!’"
Though using the little quotes from Ginny's letters is a great part of your voice, you want to make sure that you don't use too many of them so close together, or it can be a little distracting from what you're really trying to say. In that particular instance, you were trying to get across the kind of relationship they had, and so it wasn't a problem. I just want you to know that in another place, that could be.
Good job, and for god's sake, update.
Author's Response: Thanks... for the review and the constructive criticism. I haven\'t forgotten the story, in fact, the whole thing is already written, it\'s just not typed and beta\'d yet. I do post it over at ff.net unbeta\'d for the girls on my LJ that just can\'t wait for it to get here... but currently I have been lying in wait for more updates from Anise (her new story is brilliant) and having massive morning sickness... but I promise there will be more here soon! ;) (I think it is 3 more chapters... and never fear about usuing too much of Ginny\'s letters... In the next chapters there won\'t be any (not to ruin it for you or anything! ;) )
This is a great story, really, one of my very favorites. You do seem to be making Draco more humane like than I see him as being at first, and I'm seeing too little faults in the both him and Ginny besides the fact that they're both quite unsure of themselves, and I'd like you to a few more imperfections. It really adds to characters to give them faults and makes them easier to related to.
Author's Response: I\'m glad it\'s a favourite. I know what you mean about the characterisation. I lovemy Draco Snarky and clever... but I just don\'t think I am snarky and clever enough to carry it off. I read fabulous fics by like spankerella (Echo here at FIA) and pine away for more Draco-writing talent. I you havn\'t read nay of her stuff you should -- her Draco is wonderful! ;)
On another note, do you have a beta. Because I'd really love betaing this fic if you don't.
Author's Response: And yes, I do have a beta... but I would always appreciate another run through with another pair of eyes. I have one chapter that\'s about to be submitted, and another that is finnished but not typed yet. ;)
I love Narcissa. She's adorable. And I love Harry's complete hard headedness. He really is completely clueless. Good job, keep updating.
Author's Response: Isn\'t she though? I have often wondered about Narcissa. We only really see her once in canon -- but we KNOW she dotes on Draco from all the sweets she sends him... And since Harry is probably one of my LEAST favorite characters in the fandom, I feel pretty good about writing him this way! ;)
Malfoy is acting suspiciously, and the Trio immediately assumes the worst. However, when Blaise Zabini offers Ginny a different perspective, she begins to wonder if maybe all of their beliefs concerning Draco are just...misconceptions. But that's only the beginning.Category: Long and Completed
I adore your characterization of Blaise. Knowing how gorgeous he must be (due to genes handed down from his rather fawned over mother), I would consider trading Luna places, even if I had to wear radish earrings. I adore your characterization of Blaise. Knowing how gorgeous he must be (due to genes handed down from his rather fawned over mother), I would consider trading Luna places, even if I had to wear radish earrings.
I liked it if that's anything to go by. But, I am wondering: Harry claims there's no girl. Is there a boy?
Author's Response: Nope, no boy. Harry\'s straight in this story. There actually is a girl, but we won\'t find out who she is for awhile. That was a good guess, though--I hadn\'t even thought of someone thinking that lol. Thanks for the review!
"What are you thinking?" she asked quietly, keeping her voice to the same murmur everyone around them used.
"My father, your impossible stubbornness, if Potter's really ready," he answered honestly, voice sounding oddly detached..."
That should probably be "What are you thinking about?" Either that or there should be a change Draco's dialog. It doesn't make complete sense.
Thank you for being through and creative enough to come up with the and ending where Draco couldn't have been killed by the curse. I appreciate the fact that you took the time to come up with something different instead of falling back on that. It would have be really easy to do so.
This story was quite long, and the mood of it changed drastically as it went along. The lighthearted, fun, loving atmosphere it started with became, eventually, very dark. That is bound to have to happen in a fic where they grow up that much. I do have to say I missed the humor of the beginning. I was laughing up a storm the whole time I was reading the first part, while they were at school. You did a nice transition though, so, as far as the story goes, that worked even though it was quite a drastic change.
I love this story, by the way. I've been following it obsessively for quite a while. I haven't reviewed much because, well, I didn't have much to say other than good job, and, generally, I only review if I have something specific to say. That was a sweet ending, though a little too sweet for my taste: nobody important died, but that doesn't mean they should have. I've just grown accustomed to tragedies. You certainly had quite enough conflict in the middle to merit the fairy tale at the end.
Ginny says this to Harry when she's on the Quidditch Pitch, and it doesn't make sense. The "anymore" should problably be a "now".
"And now…it’s just too late anymore."
Some light dusting, heavy spying, inappropriate sniffing, and . . . a rock ballad? Things are going to get very weird when Ginny and Hermione, super spies extraordinaire, take jobs as maids at Malfoy Manor!Category: Works in Progress
This is highly amusing. I especially liked Voldy's knickers. Though I not completely sure I want to imagine them on Draco, or on Voldy for that matter. Keep writing.
Author's Response: Hi Kisou -- Now you\'ve got *me* imagining them (eww). My guess is that his very knobby, pale knees are accentuated by polka dot boxers (or maybe, instead of polka dots, he has little snakes on them). Aren\'t you glad I shared that? :) I\'m glad you like the story so far, and thank you very much for reviewing!
Well, that was a little fast. But, then, Draco is overly confidant and really wouldn't wait if he didn't have to.
This entire story is, I have to admit, not exactly realistic in any sense of the word, but it's amusing. So, I'm still keeping a careful eye on updates, and have added it to my favorites list. Really you only have to do one or the other. Reality doesn't seem so important when I'm busy laughing. ^.^
Author's Response: Hi Kisou -- You\'re right -- Draco\'s kiss was a bit precipitous, which he\'ll be regretting really soon.
I\'m glad you are finding the story amusing -- that\'s definitely my aim rather than realism :) Thanks for reading and for reviewing!
Ginny decides that all she wants for Christmas is Draco who is longing for her as well. Time and distance leave them separated with no idea that one is longing for the other.Category: Long and Completed
Obsessive compulsive as I am, I'm going to do a little beta sidetrack here. The following did not make sense. I'm not quite sure what you were trying to say, but it should be reworded.
Finally, the cameraman, who must have been named Creever (or something like that, what did I really care?), said he was done. Then something rather cozy went on between him and the Greasel (maybe she was getting it from more than one source, but who would realistically want to shag the bucktoothed bint?) and I did make sure to let her know I wanted to leave and leave now. Don't ask how. Some things a Malfoy never admits to.
By the way, I really like your characterization of Malfoy. He's wonderful.
Thanks for advice. I\'m glad you are enjoy Draco as he\'s such fun to write.
-Rhina
I'm very fond of this. The only thing that bugs me is that they're both so gorgeous. I have a problem with that two. In my head they are both beyond that, but sometimes it begins to sound a little too much like the perfect romance, and that's not very realistic. Just make sure you make them seem a little ugly sometimes (not that their partner needs to think they are. Love is blind - literally). That will help it seem more realistic. Unless, of course, that isn't what you're going for.
Also, they did get together pretty fast, but (if I remember correctly) they were together in school so that would make sense. Just make sure to realize that they didn't get together for the first time in one day. I don't see either of them as shallow enough to shag someone just because they look shaggable.
AU. Draco Malfoy has an uncommon skill and he offers his services to the Order of the Phoenix to protect his mother. But as his importance to the Order grows, his strength and will slackens. Finally, all Draco wants is peace, but can Ginny Weasley help him find peace with her before he seeks it in the Dark?Category: Works in ProgressThis story takes place after OotP but uses a few elements from HBP.
**And now includes illustrations! Thanks to the rulers of the DG universe, er...the Cabal, for letting me post them here!**
I quite like the Draco. Ginny is good except that the back of her head isn't big enough. Remember that heads are really quite egg shaped. Have you ever seen what a bald person's head looks like? That's what is underneath everybody elses' hair.
Author's Response: Hmm, I didn\'t think about that. I\'m afraid I was never formally trained to draw. I actually only \'learned\' by copying pictures from stills of Anastasia. But I thought it would be fun to post anyway...
I'm still rather confused about the potion thing that made Draco and Hermione kiss. I'd like a little more explaination. Maybe Snape is just too smart for me. I don't know, maybe you could have Draco explain it to Ginny or something.
Author's Response: Hmm, I\'ll see if I can work it in, but I don\'t want to be blatant about either. *I* also don\'t think it\'s as impt as other things...but that\'s er, my own humble opinion. Thanks for pointing it out. It\'s very helpful.