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Wow. Draco's desperation to hold on to a memory of Ginny is so heartfelt.
The style of the writing in this chapter is very effective; Draco's monologue of his thoughts on his relationship are not from when he is sitting alone, but actually him trying to sort through his thoughts while Ginny is pleading with him.
The last line is heartbreaking :'(
as i reread your response to the past reviews, it facinate me greatly; what DID happen to Ginny and her screwed up memory (was she living under a rock or something??) meanwhile it still give me shivers to think about what might have happened... o.O
I love this story and can't wait for the next installment. I also hope you update "Along Came a Wizard" soon, I love that story also and you left us on a cliffie.
Author's Response: So glad to hear you approve of this one! Along Came A Wizard is in a bit of a holding pattern right now. I needed a break. As soon as I can, I'll get back to it. Thought I'd work on some of these other unfinished fics for a bit first! -fallenwitch
I think it's a pretty good start. It's a bit vague but I think that's what brings the reader in and leaves them wanting to read more. Keep going because now I'm curious hahaha. By the way your actual writing is very beautiful and articulate. Keep it up!!
Author's Response: You're absolutely right. It's just a brief snapshot into Draco's head. It's vague - no external context to help orient us. It's experimental. I thought I'd try a different sort of opening chapter. This fic has its issues, no doubt about it. Thanks for your thoughts! - fallenwitch
It was brilliant, powerful... just beautiful! Now I'm dying for the update! ;)
Author's Response: Thanks, jandjsalmon! The next chapter is up! You might not have such kind words for me after that one. -fallenwitch
Yay, you're giving this another shot! I thought the plot you'd set up when you first posted it was intriguing and am looking forward to seeing how it develops.
My heart always dances with joy when I see you've updated, so I was very excited last night and read this chapter right away. There are some wonderful phrases and images throughout. I think my favorite is:
"Fear? His greatest fear wasn't The War or the pain or even the possibility of death. It was forgetting. He wanted to sear her into his body's memory so he could never forget."
I love your use of language. It's powerful and evocative and very believable. I believe that I'm inside Draco's head as I read.
One heads up: you've used the word 'frame' three times in these sentences and then again at the end of the chapter; a bit too many:
"Not knowing what else to do, the Slytherin took his frightened witch into his arms, holding her fast to him, cradling her slight frame to his, attempting to comfort her with his love. When she clung to him, desperately throwing her arms around his frame, he knew she wasn't fooled."
And, before I go, how are you doing with writing The Slytherin's Witch and Along Came a Wizard? Dying to read the rest of those two as well!
As always, many, many thanks for sharing your imagination with us. You are much appreciated.
xo!
Marcia
Author's Response: Hi Marcia! **blushes profusely while reading your kind words** I have gone back and changed that sentence. Thanks for pointing that out! This is why I need a beta, badly. If I could only find one that would put up with the crazy way I put my fics together without wanting to kill me... As for those other stories... The Slytherin's Witch is waiting for me to find a large chunk of time to finish it up with one big writing spree as it is almost done! And Along Came A Wizard - well - I'm not proud of this fact, but I'm burnt out on it!!! Working non-stop on it since November has left my Quill bone dry. I am halfway through the next chapter and sitting and fiddling so who knows? I'm a little over all over the place these days. Sorry! Thanks for your review. It was wonderful! -fallenwitch
Hi!
Wow, you keep surprising me! Starting afreash will surely help with this fic. :)
No constructive critisism this time from me, I still love it, and waiting for the next chapter! :)
Love, Liz
Author's Response: No, YOU keep surprising me! I was reworking this fic when you stumbled onto it - midway. I was trying to decide whether to pull the whole thing and start over or just rework the chapters and keep posting. Then it became clear that the reviews no longer made sense with all the changes so I decided to pull it. It didn't trigger an author alert because it wasn't a new chapter. I just replaced the old Chapter 3 with a new one. Thanks, Liz, for helping to resurrect this thing. We'll see how it goes! -fallenwitch
As usual beautifully written- I just love your style of writing. It's the same from Along Came...but in a different scenario and I'm looking forward to seeing where you go with it
Author's Response: Wow, what a wonderful review! It's funny that you see a bit of Along Came A Wizard in it because this is the fic that crashed and burned and led directly to Along Came A Wizard! Maybe it'll crash and burn again and lead to something else! - fallenwitch
WOW - and u say that ur actually thinking of trashing this??!! Please don't - do keep it up - it's just fab so far.
Author's Response: Yep, still thinking about trashing it. I have an ambivalent relationship with this one but wanted to give it one more shot to see if I couldn't make it work in some way. More chapters are on their way for you to decide! Thanks for your review! -fallenwitch
OMFG. You are amazing. Can't wait for the next chapter. And making Draco a potty-mouth makes him actually believable and more true to the book. Although I do hope the next chapter will get into Ginny's head a bit more. And you are truly evil, ending it on a cliffie!!! :sigh: Again, can't wait for the next chapter.
Author's Response: This is the second review I've EVER gotten in favor of my foul mouthed Draco. It's good to know I'm not alone in the world! Most of my fic are written from Draco's POV so we'll have to see how much I can manage to wiggle into Ginny's head. Glad you are enjoying this one so far. Thanks for your review! -fallenwitch
wow what happens when they meet again? is it on the battle field?
Author's Response: It's all in chapter 2 which should be up tomorrow. And no, it's not on the battlefield. Good idea, but not this fic! -fallenwitch