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oo, this story is really good so far.....

Really good! I'm off to read more, he he!

You're a decent writer, but you need some originality. And the real problem isn't even the actual fic, this could end up very interesting, but the summary almost made me not want to read this even though I basically read everything that goes through here. People don't need to know beforehand that your plot is pretty much cliché, so don't tell them.

I'd also say you could make this very much more your own if you didn't use the some of the less quality clichés. For example, Draco bumped into Ginny and noticed that she had "turned into a very attractive woman". It sounds a little bit too much like a summer makeover. You would do better to base the relationship, especially the beginnings of it on things that are less physical and sexual, because a relationship based on those things never lasts in real life and if it lasts in your fic you've just very effectively recreated your fairy tale fantasies.

Keep working, though. Don't constantly worry about how original your work is; just take note of it occasionally. I always say that many things are only cliché because they're good. Simply make sure you only keep the good clichés that are good and that work for you. Otherwise they feel awkward and obnoxious.

Don't get discouraged. You have some real writing talent. And the people on this site, and on most, aren't out to get you. We want to help you reach your best potential. But some of us (especially me) will be very blatant to accomplish that purpose


Author's Response: I appreciate you taking the time to review, and especially being honest. I do agree with you about that line that I had Draco say (I'm cringing as I type, thinking about it.) You'll be glad to hear I've removed it. I've also changed the the summary- it was really late when I submitted it, and my brain doesn't function enough for me to be bothered when I'm really tired. It was really lazy of me, I'll admit. However I really don't worry about my fic being cliche at all. I really like reading cliched fics by other writers, and I think I just wanted to give people a realistic view of this one. Oh well, it's hopefully amended.