Name: Skitzophrenick reviewed The Idea on Feb 20, 2010 11:09 pm

LMAO!!! Now I absolutely LOVE Johnathan. His way of manipulation is something I'm sure I'll enjoy no matter what the motive is. Can't wait to see what it is the "Dark Lord" wants from Draco.

Name: kellbell930 reviewed The Idea on Feb 24, 2007 10:50 am

Hm I must say I love the plot line so far. Its completly unique but so very...similiar i guess in regards to almost being the 7th book but its very well written! I love it so far!

Name: Esus reviewed The Idea on Nov 03, 2006 08:28 am

Chapter 5


I don’t know what actually thing of this chapter. After reading it, I understood why it was so hard for you to write.

And, don’t take offence here, but I think you didn’t managed the result you were looking for.
Not that you did a bad job here: I enjoyed your writing as usual and your style didn’t lacked of anything. Descriptions flowed well and get along perfectly with the narration; the characterizations were good as usual and your characters evolved as expected, with their good sides and their bad ones. You gave us some new elements about Pierce and about Hogwarts’ atmosphere. A lot of elements I have to think of to understand what’s happening and to imagine what it’s waiting for us in the future.
What disappointed me was how Pierce found out how he could finally act with Draco: the little scene with McGonagall and Ginny immediately after seemed a bit forced, as if you had to put them here to make your plot work. Maybe, it would have been better split the two moments in two different chapters… even if I can see why you have to put them both here, just to give us the idea of Pierce’s sudden idea (I almost heard him yelling “Eureka!”, LOL). Sure, you gave us enough hints before but I still have the sensation you rushed the action here. Maybe, you could put more evident proves before, so Pierce had to put the pieces together not and blame himself for being so stupid.
On the other hand, I found interesting how Pierce was able to make Draco doing what he wanted. From a certain point of view, it’s almost unbelievable Draco fell for the trick: he was able to sense more subtle attacks and instead acted like a unaware kid in this occasion. But, on the other hand, Pierce finally worked on the right thing: Malfoys’ massive ego. And, even if Draco is really good at fighting and sensing manipulations, he’s still a teen. But, maybe, you made us believe too easily that he was so good, that now his failure seems a bit odd.
What I fear is how much, instead, Ginny is blinded about Pierce behaviour and how much she “trusts” him. After Draco little show, I expected that she could be able to see through the façade and sense the danger. Instead, she seems very much oblivious… maybe it’s related to her Gryffindor nature, but I really hope she’s going to open her eyes soon, before actually spoil anything.
Still, I find the chapter good, even I dare say it could have been improved. I hope you don’t mind what I said, because it’s just my personal opinion and surely you had your reasons to write as you did. But I can’t wait to read next chapter!

Name: spider reviewed The Idea on Aug 07, 2006 05:49 pm

Pierce is unbelievable. Most of the time I end up thinking that he's this really nice sort of guy, and then I conveniently overlook the fact that he killed his own mother. What's harder to overlook, since it's happening in present day, is that he's trying to give Draco someone to care about only to manipulate him with it - her - afterward.

After that, all I can think of is how evil Pierce can really be...

Name: passion reviewed The Idea on Aug 02, 2006 01:18 am

now we are getting somewhere...brilliant chapter...that Pierce guy really tricked Draco...hhehe...

Name: imelda reviewed The Idea on Aug 01, 2006 12:23 pm

AUUGHH! That was AMAZING!! Excuse me for gushing, but...great chapter. At first, when I realized it was going to be all about Jon, I got a little annoyed. Much as I like him, after all, he's not D or G, and I was hoping to see some interaction between them.

But...okay, let me start from the beginning. I thought it was great that Jon has nightmares about his mother. She seemed so wonderful, and, after all, he killed her. I think the nightmares provided a necessary bit of depth that many fanfic writers would have overlooked. He is such a fascinating character--I am intrigued, for instance, by the conversation he had with Snape. One wonders exactly what inspired him to join, and how and why he changed. Ah, Jon. Great character!

And we got to see him at his best, here, REALLY his best. He's so good. The moment Ginny entered the scene--well, at that moment, I screamed "Ginny you fool! Go away!" for her sake. But when Jon actually REALIZED that she was what he needed, it was so exciting. I could feel the tension in him bursting, the way you described it.

And it's really an interesting way you've written it--usually, in fanfic on this website, the reader knows that D and G will fall together somehow, but the characters don't. And it's usually not ANNOUNCED beforehand, as it has been here. The fact that you have Jon blatantly orchestrating it is an unusual choice, and I look forward to seeing how that plays out. I somewhat fear that it will take away from their romance--you know, the fact that they won't just fall for each other because they can't resist--oh!!

OK, I'm sorry, but I was about to write "they won't just fall for each other because they can't resist fate, or something." Argh! You're a genius! Because then I remembered the title...wow. Obviously, yeah, they AREN'T meant to fall for each other, and it will only happen because of malevolent reasons!

This fic is so good.

But it's not going to have a happy ending, is it?

Lastly, (finally) I wanted to say how impressed I was by Jon's handling of Draco. He was so measured, and knew exactly what to say--it's clear that he's really experienced at manipulation. But not only that, once he had delivered the 'stab at the ego,' he even offered an excuse for his behavior. Draco, who is pretty paranoid, might have been suspicious about why Jon mentioned Ginny...but then Jon made it seem he only wanted the Slytherin team to win! It was truly perfect, and actually a pleasure to read.

Poor Draco. Poor Ginny.

Please update quickly!!!

Name: Rashonda reviewed The Idea on Jul 31, 2006 03:49 pm

Man, I love the evilness of Jonathan. He's found Draco's achilles heel and plans on using it for all it's worth, Poor Gin. Draco at this point can't see the manipulation behind what Jonathan did he suspects the man is up to something but at the same time the way Jon carries himself you really can't tell what he's up too. But, I wonder just how will Jonathan get past Draco's icy posterior. It'll be a hard thing to melt, hell how does Ginny end up following for Draco when she's heads over heels in love with Scarhead? Something really big must bring them together to even be civil to one another. I have faith in your HC, you've produced great stories in the past and this one is surely added to the lot. I can't wait for your next update. TFP. :)

Name: terri reviewed The Idea on Jul 31, 2006 02:32 pm

oh my, i'm kind of dissapointed in Draco....what happened to his trust no one from slytherin attitude? Doesn't he remember that everyone from slytherin has an agenda???