“Ginny, dear. Why don’t you ask Hermione if she wants to go out tonight? I just don’t like the thought of you staying in that flat all alone each night,” Mrs. Weasley said, her head floating in the fire.

“Mum, I’m fine. I’ve got a lot of work I brought home this weekend. Besides, my flat is more than safe.” Draco made it that way, Ginny added silently. “I appreciate it though. But, really, I’m fine.”

“I don’t believe you for a second. But if you have work today, I understand. But I wish you would go out and try to meet someone. After all, it’s been—“

“I know how long it’s been, Mum. And I have asked you time and time again to not push it; when I’m ready, I’ll go out. But for now, I have work that I really need to get done. I’m thinking about doing some pro-bono work for the orphanage.”

Sighing, Mrs. Weasley looked down. “Fine, Ginevra. I’ll see you soon.” And with that, her head disappeared. Ginny knew how long it had been. Six months, fourteen days, eight hours, and twelve…no thirteen minutes since Draco had told her that he was leaving to pursue a religious life. Psh, did anyone actually do that anymore? She had gone through several stages of recovery. At first, she had thought it was because he actually didn’t care about her. That maybe she was that bad in bed that he was leaving; he would go on to find another woman who was more his style. She had envisioned someone with classic patrician features: tall, impossibly slender, blonde hair, and ice blue eyes. Someone who understood what it was like to be a part of an empire and knew what her role would be. Ginny was tall too, but curvy. Her hair was too red and her eyes a simple shade of brown. In the past, when feeling insecure, Draco had reassured her that he would be hopelessly bored with someone who was like him. He needed someone he could fight with and, when that was over, pull her into the bedroom and not leave for hours. But she had shaken that from her heart; he had seemed completely serious when he’d told her of his plans.

Maybe his mother didn’t like her? But that hadn’t been it either. Narcissa had welcome Ginny as much as she could—no doubt it was odd to see her son with a Weasley. But from very early on, Narcissa had believed Ginny was going to be a part of the Malfoy family. Ginny would miss Draco’s mother, oddly enough. She was witty and loved to fill Ginny in on all of the scandal surrounding other families. She supposed that she would have to cut ties with Mrs. Malfoy now.

So Ginny had no idea why Draco had left her. She refused to believe that he was doing this partly for her sake. What kind of idiot believed they had to cut themselves off from loved ones in order to work through their issues. If anything, Draco needed her now more than ever before. He had collected his things when she was at St. Mungo’s one day, leaving a sorry note as his final goodbye.

Ginevra,
I know you don’t believe what I’m doing right now. Even I have a hard time comprehending it. But staying with you wouldn’t be fair to either of us. You deserve someone who can comfort you without constantly believing they are a hypocrite. I still believe that you did nothing wrong during the war. You were incredibly brave unlike me. I can’t stand knowing that, unlike you, I didn’t do all I could during that time. I feel like a liar in our relationship. I know you never meant for it to be that way, and it was in no way your fault. But in order to make up for what I’ve done, I have to leave. I have to go and try to help others. I hope one day you can forgive me. Maybe by then I will have forgiven myself. I’m sorry.

I love you,
Draco

p.s. Please don’t look for me. I don’t think I could go through with this if I saw you again.


So all Ginny was left with was one note, a strong glass of Firewhiskey, and the thousand broken pieces of her heart.


It had been six months, fifteen days, eight hours, and nine minutes since Ginevra had left Draco’s life. As his mum, Narcissa knew he was devastated by it. In fact, when he had told his mother his plans, she had lost all sense and screamed at him until her voice became hoarse. She wanted grandbabies, and there was no way in hell he was going to leave Ginevra. She was a lovely girl; she was exactly what Draco needed. No matter how many times people told Draco he had nothing to be ashamed of, he still believed he was tainted. When she told him this, he had merely shaken his head. He told her he wasn’t going to give her an address where he could be contacted, but promised to write her at least once a week. Now, Narcissa had no one to take tea with—it would be somewhat awkward to see Ginevra now. All she was left with was a big house, a cup of tea, and no grandbabies.

Damn.

____________________________________________________________________________________

He refused to acknowledge how long he had been gone for. To remember would mean he would have to relive the feelings of grief and loss. It was better for everyone now—he wanted Ginny to find someone so much better. She didn’t mean it when she said she needed him. No one should need him because he felt like he was unreliable. He felt like a traitor. When he would lie in bed at night, next to Gin, he just felt like he didn’t belong. Now, he began to fall asleep with a lightened conscience. He was learning what the Word of the Lord was all about. The only issue he was having (besides that nagging feeling that arose when he thought of Gin) was exactly what order he should belong to.

Some clergymen could marry, but he didn’t think he wanted that. If he wanted to purify his soul, he had to do it alone. He refused to drag a wife down the road of regret, remembrance, and, hopefully, purification. The priest who inspired him to begin this path had sent him away to learn his new way of life. So he had packed his things and left. He had almost placed his wand into Gringotts, but he couldn’t part with it just yet. If he ended up pushing a member of the parish to Satanism, he would need a strong memory charm to fix it.

So, there he was with one Bible, a rosary, and too much to atone for.

Chapter Two: And Another to Forget

Ginevra was tired of feeling sorry for herself. No matter what she did with herself, Draco was obviously not coming back. Although that realization pained her, she knew she had to at least attempt to move on. She had arrived home at precisely 5:30 and immediately sent an owl to Luna. She was going to go out and have fun. Or she was at least going to force herself to have a semi-decent time. Without waiting around for a response, she shed her Head Healer robes and went to shower.

While under the water, Ginevra closed her eyes and thought about her life. She had never thought she would be in the position; it had to be a rare event where your boyfriend left you to join the church. She thought about how Ron had reacted when he found out.

…Six Months Ago…

“…and he said that he didn’t think it would work out. The way we were wasn’t doing it for him I guess. He felt like he was lying to me and pretending to be okay,” Ginny said tearfully. “I just wish I had realized what was going on. Maybe I could have stopped it.” When Ron looked at her with an unreadable expression, she snapped, “Ron, I don’t need you looking at me like I’m a bloody idiot. I know you were expecting him to leave me. Just say it.”

Ron gulped, “Gin…I really didn’t. At first, I did. I thought he was just doing this to mess with us. We’re all grown here though; I noticed how he treated you. He was good to you, and I can’t dislike a man who you obviously love…well, loved. Whatever you’re feeling.”

“Really? You don’t know how much that means to me, Won Won,” Ginny told him cheekily. Sobering, she added, “But, honestly, I was afraid you’d say something awful. I’m glad you’re here for me.”

Moving over to where she sat on the couch, Ron slung an arm over her shoulder. They sat in silence for a few minutes with her sniffling occasionally breaking through. Promising to Floo later, Ginny got up and left.

…Present…

Ginny stepped out of the shower feeling somewhat better. She had her family and friends behind her. After hearing a soft hooting from her bedroom window, she saw her owl, Vandana, with a note. It was Luna saying to come over to her flat around 9 to get ready to go to a new place she had just found.

Later, she was at Luna’s going through her closet. Ah, there it was: Luna’s dress she’d been eyeing for ages. It was knee length and a deep plum colour. Surprisingly, this particular shade didn’t clash with her hair. It had a modest v-neck but was also cut to a somewhat low v shape in the back. It was definitely a dress made for someone who was getting on with their life.

Luna had chosen, not a clichéd blue dress to set off her eyes and hair, but a lovely olive one. She wasn’t going to be lacking male attention tonight.

“Ginny,” Luna started airily, “you look so nice. But I feel like your aura’s changed colours since I last saw you. Did the Flaggerities visit you last night? Don’t worry, a simple mixture of honey and tomato sauce will restore it. Shall I prepare some before we go?” Luna began to turn towards her kitchen.

“It’s fine! Really, Luna. Thank you so much though. I appreciate your concern. Maybe some other time because I don’t want us to be late.”

“If you say so, dear. Well, grab onto my arm, and I’ll Apparate us there.”

Seconds later, Ginny landed outside of the pub. Looking up, the understated sign simply read Fili. Any other time, she would have walked passed without stopping. It didn’t even look like a club. Nevertheless, Luna and Ginny went up to the door. A tall muscular wizard nodded at them to go in.

Once inside, she immediately noticed how understated the place was decorated. It featured hardwood floors with blindingly white walls that had a black swirl pattern with hints of turquoise. Other than that, every piece of furniture was black leather. From the chaise lounges to the barstools. It had an undeniable cool feeling emanating from all areas. Plus, it seemed to be filled to the brim with handsome men who had all turned when she and Luna walked in.

The two walked over to the black granite bar, and she immediately ordered her favorite Muggle drink: a Manhattan. It was a strong drink and seemed sophisticated enough for the setting. Turning her back in order to lean against the bar top, she surveyed the room. She made eye contact with a black haired man who possessed neither grey nor green eyes. After all, she didn’t want people thinking she had a type. The man seemingly glided across the room to her side.

“You know, as soon as you finish that drink, I demand that you let me buy your next one. In fact, I may have to buy every one after this initial one.”

Laughing she asked, “Why? I’d only feel like I had to get yours then.”

“Because then no other man here would have the chance to make a good first impression.” Hm, that was a little odd. But maybe this guy just wasn’t good with first lines? “Before I forget, let me introduce myself. I’m Aleksander. And you are?”

“Oh, I’m Ginevra—well, Ginny. Pleasure to meet you.”

For the rest of the night, Ginny and Aleks (as he preferred to be called) chatted about their lives. He worked for a wizarding bank but not Gringotts. It had been one she’d never heard of. He was originally from the Ukraine and had his schooling there but he’d come to Britain after matriculating in order to work for the bank. He had no siblings, and his parents had both died as he was preparing to leave for the UK. Ginny felt bad for someone who really had no family left. Like Draco. His father had died after the war, so his mother was the only person he had left. It had been before they’d dated but it still—no, she wouldn’t think about him. Especially when she had such a good prospect in front of her. He seemed articulate, intelligent, kind, and he was quite good looking. She had to admit she was shocked by how good of a time she was having with him. Quickly glancing around allowed her to see that Luna was having a nice time talking to...wait a minute. Was that who she thought it was?

“Aleks, I think my friend has run into an old acquaintance of ours. I really should go over and say hello.”

“Is that just your way of abandoning me?” He asked with slight grin. “I kind of thought we had been getting along.”

“No! I mean we were. We are,” she stammered. “I mean, no, I’m not abandoning you, and yes, we are getting along. I really do see someone Luna and I know.”

Looking relieved he had asked permission to Floo her sometime. “For tea or something. But don’t think for a second that I’ll let you pay.”

“Yes, I think that would be nice. You buy the tea, and I’ll get the biscuits.” She reached over to squeeze his arm.

Then, she walked towards Luna and a certain former Slytherin she hadn’t seen in a very long time.

Chapter Three: Could You Make It Strong?

It had been less than seven months since he had made his decision. The process to become a leader in the church was a long one. He would spend at least one year speaking with the Vocations Director. During this time, he would be meeting with students and priests at the seminary closest to him. He was truly trying to establish a close relationship with God.

Draco didn’t think this was a mistake. He honestly couldn’t think of another way for him to help. Soup kitchens and normal volunteering at church were never satisfying. Still, there were times when he couldn’t help but think of Ginny.

Was she moving on? Was she with…Potter? The fact was that he shouldn’t care because of his newly chosen career path. But he just wanted her to be happy, and Potter was never going to be good enough for her. He would expect Gin to be just like her mother—someone who would be happy staying home cooking, cleaning, and raising children. Ginny was fiery, and that’s why their relationship was so amazing. They fought, but, damn it, it was sexy as hell. That was one of the many things he would miss about her.

When he wasn’t at church or the seminary, Draco would walk through Muggle London. He saw so many happy, carefree people. Couples, young and old. Families going to and from the park. He would never have that again. But it was a sacrifice that needed to be made.

…One Hour Later…

What was he thinking? He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t give up Ginny, give up sex with Ginny for the rest of his life. And he was fairly sure plod mags weren’t exactly smiled upon at the seminary.

…Two Minutes Later…

Yes, he could. He could do it. No one said every choice you made in life was easy. But choices like these had to be made, and he would just suffer the consequences. Besides, he didn’t deserve to be happy. He just needed to make up for everything.

Especially what had happened with Snape. He felt responsible. And he hated knowing that those pansies in the Order had turned their back on him. He had known Severus wasn’t serving Tom Riddle (he had ceased calling him Voldemort once his heritage had been proven). Out of all of the deaths during the war, and there had been many, this was one he couldn’t shake. Still, Draco couldn’t help but feel like Severus wouldn’t approve of what he was doing now.

The now deceased Potions Master had once told Draco that, of all the Weasleys, Ginevra had been the “most tolerable.” This was Snape’s way of saying he was quite pleased with her work in school. She had, apparently, immense talent in the Potions field. At the time, Draco had found it annoying that a Weasley had been good at anything. He wished he had told Gin how impressed Snape had been. Now it was too late.


Ginny tried to recall the last time she had seen Theodore Nott. Back at school, he had never associated with one particular group of Slytherins. Nevertheless, she remembered him being smart; Hermione had ranted about him after her N.E.W.T level Potions class.

Luna saw Ginny over Theodore’s shoulder. “Ginny, how’s everything with that man at the bar? He seemed nice.”

“I told him to Floo me. I didn’t want to tie myself down to someone all night!” Turning to the former Slytherin, she smiled. “Hello, Theodore. I’m Gin—“

“Ginny Weasley. Of course I remember who you are. How have you been?” He answered in a smooth low voice.

As Ginny went to answer, she quickly appraised him. He was no longer the rabbit-y looking fifteen year old she remembered. In fact, he was a fit bloke. Tall, maybe 6’1” or so, with brown hair and hazel eyes. After sneaking a glance at Luna, it was obvious the girls both were having the same thoughts.

“I’ve been well, thank you. And you? What are you up to now?”

“I work in the research department at St. Mungo’s. In fact, I think I may have seen you a few times there. Are you a Head Healer?” After that, a long discussion commenced about the politics of the hospital. It was obvious that Theo was amazingly intelligent; he was meticulous in his questioning about her, and Luna’s, work. Unfortunately, the conversation drifted to other former Slytherins.

Theo hesitated before asking, “Ginny, weren’t you dating Draco Malfoy? I didn’t see him here tonight. Is everything alright?”

Breathing deeply, she explained everything that had happened (albeit very quickly in one breath). He looked embarrassed afterwards.

“Don’t worry, Theo,” Luna said, “you didn’t know. A lot of people don’t. Why don’t I buy all of us another round, hm? I’ll be right back.”

Turning, Theo immediately began his apologies. “I’m so sorry, Ginny. And I’m also shocked. It was obvious that he was completely in love with you. But we don’t have to discuss it anymore."

All Ginny could do was nod. Anytime she had to explain her newly single status, she felt drained. She was relieved when Luna returned with her drink. She decided to spend the rest of the night dancing away her worries. And it helped a little.

…Four Days Later…

It was a Tuesday when her Floo rang. She had set it up much like the Muggle telephone’s caller ID. The name of who was Floo-ing her was shown in the flames. She had glanced up from her paper work to see the name: Aleksander Maskirovka. She walked over to the Floo and answered.

“Ginevra, it is so nice to see you in and taking calls! How are you?” She hadn’t realized it on Friday, but his voice was positively intoxicating.

“I’m good. And you?”

“Well, I must confess that I’ve thought about you at least twice a day since we met. Please say you’re still available for tea on Friday. There’s a quaint place right outside Diagon Alley that I love. You are free, yes?”

A date with another man? She knew she had said she’d meet him, but what about Draco? Suddenly becoming angry, she realized they were done. A fling with a Ukrainian could help her stop thinking about her LD period (Loving Draco).

“I’d love to. I’ll meet you outside Diagon Alley at four o’clock?” As nice as he seemed, she wasn’t ready for another man to be in her apartment. Disconnecting her Floo, she returned to her papers.

She may not be totally out of LD, but she was well on her way.

Chapter 4: ‘Cause I Don’t Need to Think

“Now tell me, Ghazi, what do you think the dream means? Obviously, there’s a reason that you have been having fantasies about your sister-in-law’s…cat.”

“But she’s so soft, Healer. Every time we visit that stupid sister-in-law of mine, Fluffers is the only thing that can make me happy. I’m just so happy then.”

Oh my. This man was nutters. “Surely you’re happy when you’re with your wife. She’s lovely. Maybe you should try to spend time with her instead of Fluffers.”

He seemed shocked at the mere thought of it. “Oh, no! I couldn’t betray Fluffers like that. She’s the love of my life!”

Ding! “I’m so sorry. But our time’s up.”

Muttering about his Healer’s inability to understand love, the patient left the office to schedule his next appointment. If every patient was as crazy as he was, she would have driven herself crazy a long time ago. Thankfully, he had been her last visit of the day.

It was already three, and her date with Aleks was going to start in an hour. She quickly went to the loo and re-did her hair and makeup; the glamour spells were beginning to wear off slightly. A quick spin revealed that her black jumper and crisp grey trousers were still pristine; the pearl necklace and earrings she wore were presents to herself for finishing her schooling. It was a professional outfit, but a few buttons could be undone for a more relaxed look. It was quite sophisticated if Ginny said so herself. Glancing at her watch, she decided to leave the office early and walk there.

When she arrived at approximately 3:45, she was surprised to see Aleks there already, waiting at an outdoor table. Most men she knew seemed to have a terrible sense of time. Except for the man her LD period was devoted to. Pushing him from her mind, again, she walked over to their table. Aleks immediately stood up and kissed her on her check. Well, hello to you too, Mr. Ukraine.

“It’s wonderful to see you, Ginevra. You look stunning!” he gestured towards the teapot and said, “Please, you first. Would you like anything to eat? I wasn’t sure what you would want.”

“Thank you. Um, I’ll just have a Victoria sponge?” He really seemed to be covering his bases.

“Alright, I’ll go in and order it,” he said as he stood up, nodded his head, and went inside.

While he was gone, Ginny surveyed the restaurant. There were couples, young and old. Families with adorable children. It made her wonder if she was ever going to have that. At one time, she thought that was exactly where her life was headed. Now she wasn’t so sure.

An hour later, it was obvious to Ginny that Aleksander was very interested in her. While she wasn’t exactly besotted with him, he did seem nice enough. He asked her great questions about her line of work and didn’t appear bored by anything she said. She decided that, while he didn’t appear to be the next great love of her life, she wouldn’t mind seeing him again.

“…fascinating. I always wondered how people like that are treated. The new advancements you mentioned are amazing. When will they be approved for use on children? Ginny?”

“Hmm?” Snapping back to reality, she realized he had asked her a question. “Oh, I’m sorry, Aleks. I’m just a little tired from work today.”

“Then, by all means, let me walk you home.” Another man seeing her apartment? She didn’t know how she felt about that. She supposed, however, that she didn’t have to invite him in.

“All right. Thank you,” she murmured when he pulled out her chair for her to stand. They walked back with some distance between them. Ginny felt strangely relieved when he didn’t try to take her arm or hand. When they reached her loft, he did grasp her arm softly.

“I had a nice time with you,” Aleks told her, his voice suddenly an octave lower. “I would really like to see you more.”

“I think I’d like that too.” And she meant it. She enjoyed the positive male attention. Before she could suggest another time for them to meet, he had leant in and brushed his lips against hers. He didn’t attempt to do any more. After, he squeezed her hand and promised to Floo her soon.

Once she had gone into her apart, she leaned against the door. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that kiss. It had been…odd. It wasn’t that he was a bad kisser or anything. She was just comparing him to her dragon. Yes, that was it.


From that night on, Ginny and Aleks met at least once a week. Sometimes for tea or dinner. Other times they went to nice clubs. Once, Aleks even made the trek out to the Burrow for Sunday brunch. And it didn’t go well at all.

As soon as they had arrived at the door, her mum had swept Ginny into a rather tight hug. From there, Ginny had been essentially tossed around from George to Percy to Charlie and so on. When she had finally reached Ron, he had an odd look on his face.

“I didn’t realize you were bringing someone today,” he had quietly said.

“Well, I’ve been seeing Aleks casually for about a month and a half. It seemed like it was time for him to meet everyone casually. Is something wrong?” Ginny asked. It did seem like something was out of place; Ron just had such a weird look on his face.

“I just…bloody hell, I’m going to sound like such a poofter. I’m not sure if I can get along with another boyfriend of yours. Dean and Harry, they were already friends of mine. But I kind of learned to like Draco. Merlin, I think I may actually miss him!”

“Ron, get a hold of yourself. And yes, you do sound like a poofter.” At that moment, Aleks came over to shake Ron’s hand and also put an arm around her shoulders.

“Hello there. I’m Aleks. You must be Ron, right? Pleasure.”

Grumbling, all Ron could manage was a “same here.”

“Now, you work with George at the joke shop? That sounds like a lot of fun. How did you two start the company?”

Ginny felt the familiar sting of tears. She didn’t want anyone to tell Aleks about how Ron had not been one of the two founders of WWW. She put her hand on his chest, at the same time saying, “Oh, that’s neither here nor there. Why don’t we go sit?”

Throughout the dinner, all of the Weasley boys made thinly veiled references to how they liked her former lover much more. They had asked Aleks if he ever considered dyeing his hair blond, if he enjoyed dragons, or if the face he’d just made could be classified as a smirk. Aleks had been clueless, but Ginny just became more and more enraged. She was trying to get over him, and none of them were helping. Of course she found Draco better. Draco, though, didn’t find her better than his new life.

She felt like a broken record repeating that she wanted to move on. But no one would let her!

After, she and Aleks had ended up back at her flat. For some reason, they always ended up being closer to hers than his. They had lain on the couch, cuddling and kissing. When he had tried to initiate something more, however, she had pushed him away. He hadn’t gotten the message until she had pushed him away for a third time.

“Aleks, I mean it! Stop it,” she firmly stated.

“Why don’t you tell me the rules?”

What? “Rules? What do you mean?” Really, what was he talking about?

“The things,” he began, “that I have to say or do to take us to the next level. C’mon, Gin. I’ve met your family now. Surely that warrants me something.”

“Yeah, it does.” His eyes lit up. “It ensures you a good kick in the arse and me showing you the door. Go.”

“Is that what you really want?” he growled, trying to sound seductive. He failed.

“Yes, it is. It should take you exactly four seconds to cross from here to that door. I’ll give you two.” She refused to be pushed into something she didn’t want.

“Fine,” he snapped. And with that, he had left and slammed the front door behind him.

She hadn’t been shaken by the event but flabbergasted. She had never seen a side of Aleks other than the one he’d first shown her at the bar. He was always disarmingly suave. She was didn’t want to see him for some time.

He had Floo’d her a few days later, saying he had been ill and short with her. She had accepted the apology but refused his invitation to a club opening the following day. And the gala he’d been invited to at the French Ministry. In fact, she had declined at least five offerings. Every time she turned him down, he became more and more agitated.

“Look,” he had said after her fourth refusal, “this is ridiculous. I’m sorry I tried to push you. I just wasn’t myself that day.”

“I understand that. Especially since you’ve told me that several times. Aleks, I think all this was a mistake. We need a break.”

“A break? We aren’t even truly dating. We kiss, we cuddle, and that’s all. You won’t let me shag you! If anything, I should want a break from you!”

“That’s perfect then. We can both break from each other. Good day.” She had blocked his access to her Floo and had instructed her doorman to turn him away.

It was early fall, about a month after she had broken things off with Aleks. She hadn’t seen him anywhere—neither at the tea place nor at any bars she’d been to with Luna. One day, she had thought she’d seen another man from her past. At least ten meters in front of her, she had seen a man dressed in all black. And that man had had the palest blond hair she’d ever seen. She had seen it before. Draco. Ginny had stopped in the middle of the road; she lost her breath.

She was just about to call out to him when she felt someone grasp her arm from behind. Turning quickly, she came face to face with Aleks.

“Ginny, I want you to know how sorry I am. Again. I’m just so happy with you. Please give me another chance.”

By the time she had looked over her should, any trace of her dragon was gone. Damn it. She glanced at Aleksander. “I just don’t think this will work. We could be friends but nothing more. I’m sorry, too. But this isn’t right for either of us.”

She quickly walked away from him. She didn’t slow down when she heard him call her name. For the first time, she was walking away from something because she wanted to. As she realized this, she added a bit of a wiggle to her walk.


He had only been walking through London to clear his head. Every night, he dreamed about Ginevra. She consumed his thoughts during prayer, too. So he’d just been minding his own business when he heard a woman behind him yelp. He went to lean against a wall, to make it seem like he wasn’t spying, when he’d seen her. Gin. With some man. Some man who had his hands on her. Draco could feel his hands forming fists. He couldn’t hear what they were saying, but he could tell from Ginny’s stiff posture that it wasn’t anything good. She had pushed herself past the unknown man, not turning when he’d called her name.

He had stood there for a few more minutes, as had the stranger. Draco walked into an alley with the intention of Apparating back home. At the same time, Ginny’s man shuffled into the shadows.

“Hello, I’m Aleks. I just figured I should introduce myself because I noticed you spying on me earlier. Did you need something?” Hell, Draco thought he’d been smoother than that.

“No, nothing. I just heard the lady gasp and wanted to make sure there was no trouble. Was there?” He asked sternly. He didn’t want this Aleks to know just how well he knew the lady.

“Just some bitch who won’t give me what I want. A bloody prude, she is. But, not to worry, I have plans for her.”

“And what,” Draco curiously questioned, “would those plans entail?”

“Let’s just say she won’t refuse me again.”

Right then, Draco knew he would have to pay a visit to Ginevra Weasley. No matter how painful it might be.

Chapter 5: She Broke My Heart

“Ghazi, please listen. You cannot leave your wife right now. She is pregnant with your child. And you need to realize that you have no right to be mad over the fact that she is having a human and not a kitten.”

“But a kitten would be so lovely! Fluffers needs someone other than me to care for. I’m afraid she gets a bit lonely when I’m gone.”

“Well, to be honest,” Ghazi began, “she’s the one who wants to leave me. She seems to have had enough. She said she’s tired of my emotional affair with Fluffers.”

“And how does that make you feel?”

“Relieved. Now nothing is stopping me from being with Fluffers!”

“Listen, Ghazi, I want to see how this progresses. The separation that is. How about I see you again tomorrow? After you’ve, err, told Fluffers the news.”

“Alright, but I’m sure she’ll be just as excited as I am.” Ghazi said, bouncing in his seat. The man was one of the strangest she’d ever encountered at St. Mungo’s.

As usual, Ghazi was her last appointment. She didn’t think she would ever have the patience to see someone else after dealing with Ghazi’s creepy bestial fantasies. It was enough to drive her to commit herself.

When she arrived at her flat, she was surprised to see three owls waiting for her. The first was a note from her mum asking when she was going to bring Aleks by again. Scoffing, she quickly wrote saying that she and Aleks were no longer seeing each other, she didn’t want to talk about it, and, no, she wasn’t dating anyone new.

The second was from Hermione. The older girl always had a sixth sense about things, and the letter asked when she had stopped seeing Aleks. Rather than answering, Ginny decided she would Floo Hermione later on and tell her.

The last came in a simple cream envelope. Ginevra Weasley was written in elegant backward slanting cursive. With a knot forming in her stomach, Ginny turned the envelope over in her hands. She knew this writing. It was the same that had appeared on everything from simple notes to the few totally out of character love letters she’d received. The man who had carelessly (in her mind) left her. The man she was desperately trying to forget. The man she knew would never leave her mind nor her heart.

Draco Malfoy.

She refused to believe this letter was real. It had to be fake. The only way to figure that out, however, was by opening it. She quickly clenched her fists to stop their shaking. Pulling out the parchment, she unfolded the short letter.

Ginevra,
I’m sure the last thing person you want to hear from is me. But we need to talk. Even though we are no longer together, trust me when I say I am writing to you out of deep concern. I need to speak with you about it immediately. Please respond as soon as you can. It’s urgent.


Love See you soon,
Draco

Post script
Whatever you do, DO NOT speak to Aleks

He was worried about her? How the hell did he even know Aleks? She was thoroughly confused. Even though she was angry with him and at herself for feeling anything at all towards him, she believed him when he said he was concerned. He always believed he had her best intentions in mind.

Then again, he had believed leaving her was best. Maybe he was just jealous. That had to be it. The prat was just mad she was moving on with her life.

Then again, maybe she just had no idea. Before she could change her mind she decided to write him. She said she would meet him and just needed a time and place. She sent his owl, well eagle, off with the message.

DO NOT speak to Aleks. Why did she need to avoid him? Granted, she had broken up with him; he was a bit obsessive and too rude to continue seeing. Maybe Draco had met him—

BAM! A loud banging noise woke Ginny from her musings. Turning, she saw that the Malfoy eagle was back already. All it said was:

Tonight. 8 pm. Buca’s.

Well, that meant she had four hours to make herself look completely glamorous. Even if it was urgent, she wanted Draco to drool a little.


He had written her because he knew she would never allow him into her flat. He sat at a high table facing the door. Nervous and unsure, he sat with his hands together. There she was. Was she trying to torture him? Despite what people thought, Draco didn’t know fashion. But he knew that her skintight black dress was one were underwear was not an option.

“Ginevra,” he said, his voice more like a caress, “thank you for agreeing to meet with me.” He hoped his voice didn’t crack when he’d said that.

“It’s no problem.” She told him. After taking the seat Draco had pulled out for her, she settled in and crossed her legs somewhat demurely. “But I really have no idea why I’m here.” She wondered if her voice was shaking as much as she thought it was.

“I saw you the other day. When you were fighting with Aleks.”

“You were spying on me? Really, Draco? Don’t you have any mora—“

“I wasn’t spying,” he spat, “I was walking. You two were out in the middle of the sidewalk. Honestly, Ginevra, you were practically screeching like a harpy. But that isn’t the point. The point is that he came up to me after. He said he was introducing himself because I had obviously been listening to the whole conversation. Aleks told me he was going to make sure you didn’t refuse him.”

“It was us breaking up. He was just upset. This isn’t some Muggle novel; there is not bad guy that is going to make me pay. This is real life.”

“Gin, I’m telling you he’s up to no good. I want you to promise me that you’ll put stronger wards up. Have Bill do it for you. Hell, have Ron do it. I just don’t want anything to happen to you.”

He had some nerve saying things like that to her. “You don’t? You obviously didn’t care when you broke my heart. Speaking of, how is your new life?”

“This isn’t why I asked you to come here. It wasn’t so I could fight with you. Just try to understand that I didn’t leave because I didn’t love you. It’s because I need to atone for what I’ve done.”

“You’re telling me to understand? Merlin, I’m a Head Healer. If anyone could have tried to help it was me!”

“I didn’t want to be one of your cases.” Draco roared, his chair screeching back as he stood. “All I want is to not drag you down with me. I refuse to let you be tainted.”

“Stop putting me on a pedestal! After my first year I could’ve helped you through it.” Her voice then grew softer. “I know what it’s like to have people stare and whisper. And sometimes say awful things to your face. Why couldn’t you trust me?” She wouldn’t cry. She couldn’t let him think he still had any control over her feelings.

“Why don’t we go someplace else? I think we’re attracting a lot of attention. Let’s step outside.”

“Fine,” she sighed.

They stepped out into the cool weather and made their way to the side of the building. She leaned against the wall, and he stood in front of her. No one on the street would be able to see their faces.

“Just tell me you’ll be more careful. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“I will, but you can’t do this to me. Do not make me think you still love me.”

“I do! But this is my life now. It has to be.”

“And I have to move on. You have to let me. You know you could’ve told Ron about seeing Aleks. He could’ve passed along the message to me.”

“Is it that terrible to see me?” he asked quietly. He sounded hurt.

“You aren’t allowed to be the injured party here. It isn’t fair,” she whispered, “to act like this. I still love you. And apparently, you think my attempts at moving on involve crazies. Please let me move on.”

“…I can’t,” he admitted. Then his lips met hers.

She had to admit that it felt so good to kiss him again. She had replayed their kisses in her head daily; even when she was with Aleks. She pressed back, and she couldn’t help herself. Her hand reached up to grasp at his finely pressed white work shirt, and the other clenched his arm.

His right hand moved to the small of her back, his left at the nape of her neck. He had her pushed up against the wall of the building; she was falling. Falling from the force of the kiss. And falling even more for the man she was kissing.

It lasted for several minutes until their lips were hardly touching. Neither seemed to want to end it. When Ginny pulled away, she didn’t know what to make of the look on Draco’s face.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. Well, I did. But I shouldn’t have. I only want to warn you about this. But I can’t do this. It’s wrong.”

“You really know how to make a girl feel special,” Ginny smirked.


With her hair mussed and lips slightly chapped, it took all of Draco’s willpower to not Apparate them to his penthouse. But that wouldn’t truly solve anything.

“I’m sorry, love. The next time I hear anything, I’ll just tell Ron.”

“Draco, wait! You can’t just leave now. It isn’t right!”

“Maybe not, but it’s what I have to do for both of us.” With that, Draco turned and walked down the street.

Chapter Six: My Grace is Gone

“So that was all?” Luna asked. “He just told you Aleks was bad for you, kissed you, and walked down the street?”

Ginny took a sip of her tea before she spoke. “Yes, he just took off after. I know I shouldn’t get caught up in him again, but it’s hard not to.”

“That’s true. But maybe this was supposed to happen? It’s terribly romantic to think that he is a knight in shining armor!”

“Please,” Ginny snorted, “Draco is more of a Grindelwald than a Lancelot. He believes that he is where he needs to be. Clearly, he is having major issues stemming from the War.”

“There’s your problem,” Luna told her.

“What? What is?”

“You’re trying to analyze him,” she pointed out. “And he told you that was the last thing he wanted. He needed someone to understand that he needed to make up for everything…did he ever really tell you what happened to him?”

Ginny’s thoughts drifted to the many conversations her and Draco had shared. She had held nothing back and told him about everything that had upset her. The Chamber, Riddle, and the basilisk. Hell, she even told him how she’d secretly apologized to Filch for the whole Mrs. Norris being petrified incident.

Then she’d explained how frightened she was during the War. She had fought as best as she could, but she still felt like she hadn’t done enough. Draco had stared at her in shock; he told her how everyone knew she was a great asset to the Order. Without her, people would have died. Her work healing people had led to her later going to Healer school and eventually to become a Head Healer. Even if she hadn’t been healing people, she had inspired others with her silent strength.

Draco had admitted that he’d watched her in battle. He was unable to tear his eyes away from her. When she had gently asked him what he’d been frightened of during that time, his entire body language changed. His face screwed up slightly, as if in pain, and his body steeled for some invisible blow. He had tensely asked her if they could discuss it another time. She had agreed then because she didn’t want to upset him. But they had never broached the subject again.

“No,” Ginny said, snapping back to the present. “I really haven’t a clue.”

“I could ask Theo if you’d like. Or try to.”

“Theo? Luna Lovegood, what exactly have you been keeping from me?” Ginny exclaimed.

“Not much, I swear! He asked me to dinner, we’ve been seeing each other, and we’re not serious. Yet.”

“Wow, that’s fabulous! The three of us will have to get together soon.”

“Oh, yes,” Luna said in her usual dreamy fashion. “Even though we’ve just begun seeing one another, I have a feeling Theo will be around for quite some time.”

From there, the conversation turned to mindless chatter and gossip. It helped to distract Ginny from everything else. They parted ways at the front of the tea shop, and Ginny leisurely made her way back to her flat. She noticed a familiar figure outside her building, but she had no idea why he was there.

***

He was utterly incapable of thinking about anything other than Gin. She consumed his every thought. From the when he woke up to the time he attempted to fall asleep; it really never stopped. He even dreamed of her. He couldn’t escape it.

Kissing her again was not what Draco had meant to do when they’d met—he just wanted her away from Aleks. But it had happened, and it had caused feelings he’d repressed to come springing up again. She was a slow delicious potion that seemingly stopped his pain, but he knew too much would lead to his downfall. His own supply of foxglove. Beautiful, graceful, and deadly.

Nonetheless, he needed her as much as he needed to breathe. He couldn’t abandon his newly found faith though. It was still new, and it wasn’t right to not explore it more. Two days after his kiss with Ginevra, he went to see his priest.

He had spilled the details of everything: Ginny, Aleks, the guilt he felt from his previous actions, his father’s expectations, and how he was so confused about what he should be doing.

“You are very different from a normal man considering this lifestyle, aren’t you? I could tell from the moment you came into the church. You’ve never been close to God; I feel as if you come from another world almost.”

“You could say that,” Draco had told him, shocked by this man’s assumption (which was correct).

“At first, I had thought you were a young chap who visited the church for holidays. You told everyone Happy Christmas and gave them gifts, but you never understood the meaning. I know now that you do, Draco. You understand that it is best to live a life mimicking that of the Lord.”

“I understand, yes. But I think it’s too late to start doing that in a way that is perceived as normal. I have to dedicate myself to it whole-heartedly.”

“Just because something is normal doesn’t mean it is ineffective. You have obviously met the Devil himself. And you briefly were submissive to him, correct?”

If Draco wasn’t so sure this man was a Muggle, he would have pinpointed him as a Legilimens. “I did. And I believed in him so much that I’m ashamed to admit it. Then, I turned to a man who seemed to manipulate everyone too but did so for a greater good. He played God too. But that was also wrong.”

“To worship a false God is wrong. Seeing the error of one’s ways, though, brings us back to salvation. You have lived in a microcosm of Christianity. One side is good, and one is evil. Both have servants of their respective leaders; they act as your angels and demons. You had to choose which role you would play: Lucifer or Michael? For others, they knew their place, but you didn’t know where to go. You picked the right side, but only just. Draco, you were very close to falling prey to your Satan’s manipulative and seductive ways. You had enough faith to choose goodness. You didn’t know it was faith that led you to that decision, but it was. Now, you have to decide what to do with that faith. Not everyone has to become a priest. You believe you need to in order to atone for your sins. But you lack the grievous sins you believe hang over your head.”

“Do you really think so?” Draco asked the man with nervousness in his voice. Ginny had told him time and time again that nothing was his fault, but it felt good to hear it from someone who didn’t know everything.

“I do. You completed your penance the moment you chose your side. Any person will tell you that. The question is whether or not you have enough faith in them. Will you take their words for what they are: the truth?”

***

“Ghazi, what are you doing here? How do you even know where I live?” Ginny asked. She didn’t want to admit to herself how frightened she was by this. A patient, especially one as unstable as him, showing up at a Head Healer’s door was never a good thing.

“I pulled a few favors,” Ghazi said frantically. “But I’ve just had a breakthrough, and I couldn’t wait until our next session.”

“Alright,” Ginny began calmly. “What is this amazing realization that couldn’t wait? And that was urgent enough for you to show up at my home.”

“I’m not in love with Fluffers! We’ve stopped seeing one another.”

“That’s wonderful, Ghazi! How does your wife feel about it? She must be excited.”

“Oh, not at all. I’ve realized I was just using Fluffers as a replacement for my feelings for you.

Ginny had heard of this happening to other Head Healers and even Muggle psychiatrists. She had just hoped it would never occur with one of her own patients.

“I’m flattered, Ghazi, but this is just erotic transference. It happens with many people. But you aren’t in love with me.”

“Oh, yes. It is erotic. We obviously have a connection; that’s why we see each other so often.”

“We see each other in a safe, professional environment because I am trying to help you with your problems. Please don’t mistake it for anything else.” She began to back away from him.

“No, we are in love,” he told her aggressively. Simultaneously, he reached for her arm. “Don’t deny it. It won’t work with me.”

“Don’t touch me. If this continues, I will have to cancel our sessions permanently.”

“Please do! Then we can finally be intimate. I know you hate to do that with clients.”

“But you’ve already been a patient. The line has been drawn. I’m terribly sorry.” With that, she Apparated directly into her flat. It had enough wards around it. Especially after the Aleks incident.

How was it possible that two men were basically stalking her? Then she knew what the next step was. Well, first she’d contact the Aurors and tell them about her issues with crazy men. The next was to Floo Draco. She could only hope that he would answer her.

Ch. 7: One More Drink and I’ll Be Gone

Draco sat in a low slung couch in front of his fireplace. He was almost positive that being a priest wasn’t right for him anymore. He had never believed that he was somewhat powerless during the war; he had blamed himself for everything that had gone wrong. Ginny had told him he was as innocent as the rest of them, but he’d never actually believed her. It wasn’t until someone who was unfamiliar with the situation told him the same thing that he began to consider it.

…Fifteen Years Ago…

He had always imagined death to be a loud event. The crying, the screaming. Even the curse itself should have been accompanied by a loud noise. But it was silent.

The Muggle his aunt had just killed was just lying there. It was then he realized how quick murder was. There was no time for crying or screaming. And Avada Kedavra was merely a green light.

The only sound that had emerged was his own. He had only been seven at the time, and Draco had immediately began to cry. He didn’t understand how life could end so quickly; it wasn’t the Muggle’s fault that he didn’t have powers of his own. What if Draco didn’t get into Hogwarts? Would his father do the same to him?

Slap. His aunt had rushed over to his side and hit him.

“Poor, Drakkie,” she cooed mockingly. “Upset that the filthy Muggle is gone now? Get over it, boy. In a few years, you’ll be doing the same thing. You were born to do this. My brother-in-law would never allow you to stand by idly! It’s time to grow up, Drakkie!”

…Present…

And he had. He had evolved into the cruel schoolboy everyone remembered him as. Then, there was the War.

…Six Years Ago…

“Young Malfoy, you have disappointed me.” hissed the Dark Lord. “Not only have you failed to kill Dumbledore yourself, costing me my spy within the Order, but you have tried to hide from me. Silly young Malfoy. What shall your punishment be? I know. Avada Kedavra!”

The green light had flown over Draco’s shoulder, and he could actually feel the power behind it. Quickly, he had spun around the see where it had gone to. His gaze had almost automatically been drawn to the floor.

Avery? What did he matter?

“Malfoy, surely you didn’t think you would meet your end just yet? No…I was tiring of Avery. Just be aware for now. Your fate may be quite different from what you are expecting.”

…Present…

It had been different. He had become mysterious during the war. The Death Eaters wanted him dead, but so did the Light Side. No one trusted him, and he didn’t blame them. Draco Tristen Malfoy was selfish—he always had been. Switching sides didn’t have to do so much with his ideology as his desire for self-preservation. No, Draco was not the hero girls wanted. He wasn’t a changed man with a new appreciation for life; anyone who thought that was a silly dreamer.

But he had wanted things to be better for Ginny once he’d met her again. He had never really known her in school, and he considered himself lucky to have caught her after. Maybe, he could even get her again. He was ready to be togeth—

WHOOSH!

The blonde was pulled from his wonderings by the sound of his fireplace. He walked over and saw someone’s head floating. Ginny.

“Draco,” she began, “I don’t want you to worry.”

“About what?” he asked quickly. Conversations that began that way rarely ended well.

“I can’t say too much about it. But a now former patient of mine was waiting for me outside my flat after I met with Luna. He says he’s in love with me.”

Draco’s heart began to race. Was she trying to say she was moving on? “I’m sorry, I’m not sure I understand. Is he now a former patient because you’re pursuing a relationship?”

“Really, Draco?” Ginny huffed exasperatedly. “Of course not! He is now my former patient because he located my address and had been standing there for hours waiting for me! I’ve told the Aurors about him, and my concern about Aleks. They’ve placed some warning spells over my flat that will alert them to anything harmful. I just wanted you to know.”

“Thank you for telling me.” Then, as if what was occurring suddenly sank in, Draco’s face grew stony. “Where is he?”

“Ghazi? I don’t know. He hasn’t been at his home apparently. His wife, make that his ex-wife, has moved in with her sister. But don’t overcomplicate things. I know it’s serious,” she said quickly, “I do. But I’m more than capable of protecting myself.”

“I believe you. Nevertheless, I’d feel better if you were staying with someone. You’re still close with Luna. Why don’t you stay at her place for a little while?”

“I know she’d let me, but I can’t help feeling in the way. She’s been seeing Theodore Nott for some time now, and I wouldn’t want to alter their routine so drastically.” She turned her eyes hopefully at him. Those damned doe eyes. “Could you possibly come over for a little?”

“Well…”

“Of course, that as an idiotic idea. I’ll just have Harry come over.”

“No!” Draco had only hesitated because he didn’t know if he could take this slightly awkward position they were in. Obviously, he was in love with her. But did she still feel the same way? And more than anything, he wouldn’t let that poofter Potter comfort her. “I just need to collect a few things, and I’ll Floo right over.”

After Ginny had disappeared from view, he slumped back onto his seat. Instantly, breeding made him sit straight again. There were two batty blokes out there after his bird. While he wanted to find them and curse them to no end, he knew Gin needed him more. Draco gathered some paperwork that he’d been putting off and Floo’d over.

The two of them had sat at her dinner table silently eating a too quickly prepared meal. Ginny’s mind seemed a thousand miles away. Tactlessly, Draco decided it was time to broach the subject of their relationship


Ginny had been watching Draco closely from the moment he entered her flat. Something seemed different about him. Not in a bad way, but something was amiss. His attitude reminded her of her Draco. Her boyfriend and not the future man of God.

“Gin,” Draco started, “I’m sorry for what happened the other night. I had no right to do it at that particular time. And more than that, I shouldn’t have just walked away.”

Between clenched teeth, she told him it was fine. After all, no one liked to hear someone apologize for snogging them.

“I’m not finished. I’m not all that sorry that it happened though I should have timed it better. I…bloody hell, I miss you so much. Don’t make me try to describe it because I won’t come out in a manly way. I’ll sound like a pounce.”

Yes, this did seem like her Draco. “Well, then let me describe it. I don’t mind sounding silly. I miss you every time I wake up and make tea. Each time I go grocery shopping I wait to hear you say I need a house elf to do it. I wait for you to take too long in the shower,” she said smiling, “when we have somewhere we need to be. I miss you when I’m awake at night because I can’t sleep without you taking all the blankets. You know, for a Slytherin you’re too sensitive to cold! Mostly, I just miss you being an annoying prat who could make me fall over and over again each day.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have described it either. I still sound like a pansy. I want us to try to do this again.”

“So would I. But we can’t.”

“What?” Draco spluttered. “Why not?”

“I can’t exactly be with someone who is going to be a priest. It may not be my religion, but it would be so disrespectful.”

“About that. I’ve sort of left that all behind. Before you say anything, I want you to know that you weren’t the sole reason for that. Don’t think I’m giving up on something I believed I wanted because of you. It sounds mean, but I know you would say you aren’t worth it. Even though you are.”

“What was it then?”

“My mentor, if you will, made me realize some things. We lived in a world very reminiscent of Biblical times. People are persecuted because of what they are: Christian, pagan, Muggleborn, and even Pureblooded. I chose an evil side for awhile, but I changed my mind. I thought that I still carried that mistake. But he told me that the moment I choose this side, I was forgiven. And that’s all I ever wanted from that.”

“About that evil side. Would you tell me what happened?” Ginny pleaded. “I can’t stand not knowing what went on.”

And he did. Her eyes grew wide when he mentioned his first experience with death, but she never made a sound. She blindly reached out to hold onto his hand when he spoke of his aunt. When he finished, Ginny didn’t know what to say.

“Draco, I’m glad you’ve told me all this. I wish you had earlier, but I understand. Everyone copes in a different way, and you just took what seems to be the long way. So, I say yes. Let’s try us again.”

For the rest of the night, Ginny caught him up on what was new with the Weasley clan. Draco told her how much his mother missed her. When it was time for him to leave, she asked him to stay. They were still on somewhat shaky ground, but he agreed. For once, Ginny felt safe.

That all changed the next day on her way to meet Draco for lunch.

Chapter Eight: Then the Sun Refused to Shine

The day had started normally. But, then again, the worst days tend to start out that way. Ginny had woken up slightly late, as usual, and got herself ready to meet with Draco. He hadn’t stayed all night, but she had still felt better knowing he was there. It was obvious that both of them were unsure as to whether they should pick up where they left off or totally start anew. Lunch today, Ginny realized, would be the best time to make that sort of decision. She wanted to be with him, but she didn’t want to risk losing herself. She hated the stories where girls gave up everything for a man—it isn’t supposed to be like that. Unequal love is never stable love. Besides, why was the girl always the one falling too hard? They were the ones caught in a love triangle or being kidnapped. Men were always the rescuers.

She had just exited her building when it began to rain. On the spot, she did a half turn and Apparated. Just because she was born and raised in England didn’t mean she was used to this weather. She appeared before a small café and quickly ducked inside. Making herself comfortable, Ginny plopped into a seat by the window. Even though the rain was annoying, it looked so pretty. Knowing she was early, she took out a book to read.

By the time she had completed chapter two, she heard someone pull out the chair in front of her. Looking up, she smiled brightly.

“Well, hello there. I must say I haven’t seen you in ages,” a voice said sarcastically.

“Aleks. What are you doing here? I’m meeting someone.” Did he notice the tremor in her voice?

“Ginny love, come on now. We both know you aren’t.”

“I can assure you,” she said, regaining her composure, “that I certainly am. And I suggest you leave right now.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that!” Grinning manically, he reached forward and grabbed her by the arm. “You see, I have to inform you that you’re certain someone can’t make it.”

“I thought you said you didn’t believe me.”

“Love, I lied. Now, let’s go. I’m sure Draco will be missing you terribly. I’m afraid I haven’t been very nice to the boy.”

“I’m not going with you anywhere. Tell me where he is.”

“Tsk, tsk. You shouldn’t have denied me. Don’t worry, you’ll see him again. Perhaps in pieces? Look for my owl.” Suddenly, he disappeared.


Now, Ginny was no fool. She wasn’t about to go back to her flat and wait to hear from him. She took herself straight to the Ministry and put up a fuss until Kinsley’s secretary allowed her to go back. Explaining everything, Ginny said she wanted a full-blown investigation. She also wanted to help and didn’t want to be left out of anything. Most importantly, she wanted to tell Narcissa herself.

Mrs. Malfoy was devastated by what had apparently happened. She was glad to hear things were headed in a good direction for the couple, but it was such a brief comment that Ginny had no time to respond. She fully supported Ginny’s decision to be involved but pleaded with her to be careful. After all, she didn’t want to lose the girl she considered to be a daughter.


It had been four hours since the café incident when Ginny received her first owl. It was a nondescript brown barn owl. The writing on the letter was Draco’s. It read:

Dear Ginny,
Aleks has asked that you reconsider your decision to not pursue a relationship with him. He believes, no knows, that you belong together and have a connection that cannot be ignored. He will see you again soon.
I am doing fine.

-Draco Malfoy

Ginny stared at the letter a few seconds and passed it to an Auror (they had been at her apartment since she got back from Malfoy Manor). Taking it back, she tried to think of where they could be. Before she voiced her next thoughts aloud, she felt a terrible pain. All she could hear where the urgent yells of Aurors. And all her surroundings swirled into a mass of colorlessness. Then faded to black.


She woke up to the sounds of someone calling her name, and a rough shaking. Her eyes snapped open and danced wildly around the small room. Who was calling her name?

“Draco!” she yelled. “What’s going on?” His once unmarked pale features were marred with bruises.

“Are you alright? All of the sudden you appeared here, and you knocked your head off the floor. Here, sit up.” With that, he helped her into a seated position where she could rest against his chest. “It’s not terribly exciting, how I got here. I didn’t appear like you did. I was in my flat getting ready when I was Stunned. I woke up halfway here, but he knocked me out again. But…it isn’t just Aleks here. There have been two different men coming in here. I don’t know the others name yet. But why are you here?”

“The letter you wrote me. It was a Portkey. They were just lucky I had it and not an Auror.”

“Auror? You told the Ministry? Good, I was afraid you’d go and be a hero or something. Even though I’m not glad to see you here in this mess too.” Before she could respond, a door she had never noticed opened.

“Ghazi?”

“This is Ghazi?” Draco asked. “What the hell is going on here? I’m not going to let you two pounces do anything to Gin!” He gingerly helped Ginny stand and placed himself in front of her.

Sighing, Ghazi took a step closer. “Fool, what do you mean by ‘two’? Surely, you’ve picked up on what is happening.”

As if he had been a wax figure placed into the fire, Ghazi’s features began to melt and alter themselves. When he was finished, Ginny realized what his last statement meant.

Ghazi and Aleks weren’t working together. ..






Ghazi and Aleks were the same person.

Chapter Nine: Where You End, Where I Begin

“That’s not possible,” Ginny said. This wasn’t possible. “You weren’t on Polyjuice! And I would have detected an illusion…”

Ghazi (or was it Aleks?) spat on the ground and laughed. “Don’t worry about how I did this. Let’s just call it…magic. Well, now that everything is out in the open, why don’t we talk about why we’re all here?”

“Could that be because you’re an insecure, insane pathological liar?” Draco asked.

“No, it’s because of you.”

“Ghazi, Aleks, whoever you are! Me not wanting to see you isn’t a good reason to kidnap two people. Let’s be rational about this,” Ginny began softly. “Why don’t we discuss what’s really goin—“

“Not you, you idiot. This has never been about you. This is about him. One Draco Malfoy.”

“Me? I’ve never even met you. Speaking of, just who the hell are you?”

“Oh, you haven’t met me. Not personally at least. I am Qayin. I am the thing you have been trying to drive from Earth for eight months. You have not done it yet. You are not even close to it. But you have stepped too far into the light. You have convinced many to see so-called goodness. And because of that, I see no future for you.”

“So that’s it then? You’re the one I’ve read about? Qayin…Cain. How are you still even alive?”

“What I am is not quite alive. More like…a memory. And I found out that little Ginevra here loves memories. I needed someone to feed off of. For energy. She has already been exposed to evil; it has already touched her soul. Realizing the relationship you two had was merely making my goal that much easier to accomplish.”

“But why? I’m nothing special,” Draco told him.

With that, Ginny glanced sharply at him. She leaned in to whisper, “Of course you are. You’re everything to me.”

“See?” Qayin roared. “Every person makes a difference in the balance between dark and light. This is true for every kind of darkness and lightness. Grindelwald, Voldemort, Beelzebub, it does not matter! Darkness must always win! Always! When you try to show someone otherwise, you must be stopped. For centuries, that is how it has been done. Ever since my mother, there has been sin. And that sin needs to continue.”

Both Draco and Ginny were confused. Was this man wizard, memory, demon, or something else? They exchanged weary glances.

“Silly mortals. I am greater than anything you have ever imagined. As a servant of God, you must be stopped.”

“I don’t have to be stopped! I’m not a servant of God anymore! I left that life! I left it for her. She is the only person I will worship.”

Well, Ginny thought, this is the worst way to find out where this relationship is going.

“Loyalty to a regular person is just as bad as being traitorous towards darkness. And you will be punished for it!” Qayin stretched his arm out and pointed his hand toward Draco. A swirling, twisting mess of gold and silver shot towards the pair.

It grew thinner until it was apparent that it was only going to hit Draco. He braced himself for it, being sure to place himself in front of Ginny. It was almost there…

And he felt nothing. Ginny had spun them around at the last second so her back took the spell full force. He looked down to see her mouth in a silent scream with her eyes clenched tight. To her credit, she didn’t immediately crumble to the ground. Her fingers grasped at his arms as if his energy could be transferred to her. Draco moved her into the crook of his left arm; with his right hand free, he mimicked Qayin’s previous moves.

“ In nomen of Senior , EGO expello vos ex Terra. Vos es forever reus ut caligo underworld. Nunquam iterum mos vos roam is terra vel ullus alius. EGO redimio vos in nomen of Abbas , Filius , quod Sanctus Phasmatis. Pro regnum , vox , quod palma es Vestri. Amen .”

A green light, not unlike the hue from the Killing Curse, rushed from Draco’s wand. It wrapped around Qayin’s form. It twisted tighter, and it was obvious the memory could no longer move. His eyes were full of murderous rage.

He rasped, “It doesn’t matter what happens to me. You have lost your faith because she is gone. She is gone forever!” The green light completely enveloped him, and he disappeared with a loud bang.

“Ginny!” Draco yelled. Her face was pale; her breath was labored. It was obvious what was happening.


Ginny was dying.

***

“Please don’t do this. Not now,” Draco cried. He had lowered both himself and Gin to the floor of the room where they were being held. There was no door, no way of escaping. “Gin, I love you. I’m sorry I left you.”

“Draco,” she coughed. The words coming out of her mouth were garbled by blood. “I love you too. Oh, God…”

“No! Don’t leave me. Lord, please. Please save her.” Draco then felt a sharp pain in his arm. Looking down, he saw he too had been hit by the curse. With his energy suddenly fading, the whole room closed in on the pair. Soon after, darkness came back to play.

“What the hell is going on here?” A deep voice rumbled.


***

All Ginny could see was white. White walls, white chairs, even her housecoat was white. She wasn’t in anymore pain. Was she in heaven?

“Oh no, dear,” a nurse chirped. “You’re in St. Mungo’s! I thought for sure you’d recognize your own stomping grounds. You just woke up? Excellent, I’ll fetch the healer.”

Just as the nurse was leaving, another body came through the door.

“Sir, I told you before. Both of you are in critical care. You cannot leave your room!”

“Bloody hell, woman! I’ve been waiting ages to see her. Back off!” Draco.

“Let him in, please. I’d like to speak with him alone for a little. I promise it won’t upset me.” Nurses were always worried about patients becoming overemotional. It tended to mess with their already fragile magic. “It won’t be for long.”

“Fine, but if I even so much suspect that something is wrong, he’s out of here!” The nurse left the room, shutting the door behind her.

“Merlin, Ginny. I was so scared. I thought you were dead.” Even with her in front of him, Draco was still scared that she’d be ripped away from him.

“…I think I was. But only for a second. I felt like I knew everything and nothing all at once. Everything was crazy and yet calm. But I didn’t like it.”

“How could you not like heaven? I think that’s impossible.”

“Of course it’s possible! I didn’t like it because I still felt lonely. You weren’t there with me,” she said quietly.

“I promise that I will always follow you. No, that’s not true. I will always be right beside you. Wherever we decide to go.”

“Draco, I don’t know…”

“What is it?” Was she rejecting him? After everything that had gone on? She just said she would miss him!

“I’m not the same person I was before all this. I’m not perfect. I would make a lousy girlfriend.”

“I highly doubt that. What do you think could make me love you any less?” He didn’t understand this turnabout in her behavior. She was perfect.

Ginny bit her lip and turned so her back was facing Draco. Slowly, she lifted her hospital gown. Her back was a horrible mess of partially healed cuts. He moved her hair out of the way and pushed the shirt up to her neck. His fingers softly traced the uneven skin. With shake of her shoulders, the pads of his fingers fully pressed onto what would become deep scars. His left hand moved to the single pale pink scar that ran from his shoulder to elbow. He knew it would disappear soon.

But she had taken the curse. Not him. He felt guilty, but he refused to let that guilt chase him from the room.

“Gin, I’m sorry. This is my fault. I should have taken the curse for both of us,” he said. He turned her around, so her face rested against his chest. Her body began to violently shake as she pushed him away.

“Please, don’t say that! I would have died if the curse had hit you. Just don’t touch me. I’m not good enough for you now,” she screamed. Her voice was raw and emotional. “I’ll never be good enough! Just leave me alone! Please, just go! Find someone who will look good for you. Someone who isn’t going to be hiding this deformity forever!”

“They can heal it…”

“No, they can’t! It was too dark a curse. I was exposed to too much of it! Please, just find someone worthy of you. I don’t think I am anymore.”

“No. Don’t push me away. I won’t let you. You’re perfect. If anything, I’m not good enough for you. I don’t care where the scars are. I don’t care whether or not they are there forever. Because I know I will be here. Always.”

Neither had any words left to say. The “I love you’s” were now unspoken. Draco and Ginny sat on the hospital bed in each others’ arms, rocking back and forth.

This time, and every time, light would win. Light, and love, would always win

"GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME, DRACO!" Ginny screamed. "I mean it!"

"Gin, I love you. But it would be fantastic if you didn't act like such an OLD HAG ALL THE TIME!" Draco countered.

"Well, excuse me," she began icily. "Forgive me for not bowing down to you like the rest of the world. Apparently, the rest of the world is totally BLIND to what you truly are."

"Don't act like a child. Actually, a child would be a little more mature right now."

She spun on her heel and exited the large parlor. She went right up the staircase to their room. The room she'd shared with that man for the past year. Since the incident with Qayin had done what most disasters do; it had brought her and Draco closer together. They had made up and moved in together. It was obvious that they were on their way to an engagement, wedding, and all the other things happy people do.

But it was never simple with them. With the moving, there was consolidation. She found his place to be overbearing and stifling. He thought her belongings were too eclectic (his polite way of saying disgusting and odd). She had come home to find all of her things in storage. They had proceeded to have their biggest fight since getting back together. She had stayed with Luna for two nights afterwards. He had Flooed nonstop and sent flowers every hour.

Not that any of that worked. She had done a lot of growing up when she was alone. She wasn’t about to become one of those girls who overlooked their significant other’s flaws; she wasn’t a doormat. So he had groveled. She also didn’t put up with overgrown third years. Finally, he had asked her to sit down with him and really talk about their issues. He had agreed to learn to share his space. And he had forced her to agree to try to have better taste in furniture.

So, they lived in (relative) harmony. It started to feel like a chore to be together. They had the same routine: breakfast, work, dinner, read their respective books, cuddle, and sleep. Repeat. Every day. Every week. For an endless number of months. She wasn’t satisfied. And she knew he wasn’t either.

The only time there was ever anything different was when she would go to have her scars checked. As predicted, they had healed as thick, knotted scars. They ran along her entire back; a network of pain and sadness. Each time she turned, she felt the tight skin shift. It didn’t always hurt, but every so often it was unbearable. Dark magic had a habit of flaring up. It made her angry, and during those times she knew she was unbearable to deal with. Draco, not surprisingly, didn’t like to put up with her then.

Their reuniting didn’t mean their personalities stopped clashing. The fighting didn’t cease the moment she woke up in St. Mungo’s.

Now, they were fighting about… something. She didn’t know how exactly it had started. Her mother had definitely played a role—always questioning when they would marry. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t discussed it. Marriage was just something they didn’t view as necessary. They didn’t have to be tied to each other all the time. They were allowed to have their own liv... that was what they were arguing about, she suddenly recalled. Draco had gotten into the habit of supposedly working late. Not every night but at least twice a week. One night, she had decided to bring him something to eat.

She had reached his office to find the lights out and the door locked. She had immediately gone back home to see if they had just missed each other, but he wasn’t there either. Ginny fell into a chair in the library. Sitting there for what felt like hours, she wondered how she had gotten here. It was obvious that something was amiss. Draco wasn’t happy with her; he had found someone to make him feel that way.

Draco entered the library around ten that night and looked shocked to see her sitting there calmly.

“No book, Gin? Breaking the routine?” he joked.

“Why bother reading when my life has apparently become so much more dramatic?”

He looked perplexed. “Pardon?”

“Pardon you? Yes! I will pardon you if you explain why you weren’t at your office!”

“I was there, Gin. What are you on about?” Draco pulled at his collar nervously.

“I never took you for a liar,” Ginny told him quietly. “I thought that was one thing I always said I hated. I hate them.”

“Before you get upset, I want to explain. Tonight, I wasn’t at my office. That’s true. I swear I have been the rest of the time though.”

“You’re only confessing because I caught you! What the hell is going on? I feel like I don’t know you anymore. I know you aren’t happy…”

“That’s not true,” he said. “I am hap..."

“Neither am I,” Ginny interrupted. “We obviously can’t continue the way we are now.”

“You’re right,” he agreed. “We can’t continue to be like this. I think it’s obvious we need to change our arrangements.”

“If you think that’s the best way to do it. I’ll pack my bags now,” she began crisply, “and be out of here within an hour.”

“Don’t,” he said, grabbing her arm.


And the yelling match had followed. That led Ginny to where she was now. Sitting on the bed with absolutely nothing packed. Not wanting to leave, and not knowing where she would go. Her life had, again, become so intertwined with his. She had never wanted to be the type of woman who relied on a man for happiness. But was she strong enough to handle losing him again? Apparently, he would be just fine without her.

There was a soft knock at the door.

“Gin, can I come in?” Draco asked quietly. He cracked open the door and peeked in.

“If you must. I may need longer than an hour, so I’m sorry the room isn’t empty yet.”

“You’re not really going. I don’t believe that for a second. And neither do you.”

“Draco Lucius Malfoy, do not think you know what I believe. I know that I am leaving.”

“Just stop it!” he yelled, looking slightly lost. Draco never looked as out of control as he did now. “Sit down and listen to me.”

Tossing a defiant glare in his direction, Ginny wordlessly sat. He stood in front of her, reaching for her hands; she stubbornly sat on them.

Sighing, he said, “Please. I didn’t tell you where I was going tonight because I wasn’t sure of it myself. I had intended to work late, but I felt so restless. Something isn’t right between us, and I didn’t know what it was. I do now.”

Ginny could see it now. Some young girl who had just been hired by his company. Long hours and close proximity.

“There isn’t someone else, Gin,” he answered her unasked question. “I think… we just need a change. This country is killing us. I see you cringe each time we make love. I know you hate those scars. But I love you, and I don’t care about them. I don’t even see them. And I’m not just saying that to make you feel better. Love, don’t you think I’m more the type to be brutally honest?”

“Yes. I know.”

“Britain isn’t for us anymore. Especially not this town. Let’s go somewhere.”

“Where would we even go? What about your job? And mine? I haven’t even been back a year. I can’t just ask for an undefined amount of time off.”

“Then leave completely. I have enough money for us to leave for as long as we want.”

“I’m not relying on you for this. I won’t do that.”

“I’m not asking you to let me support you. I’m asking you to just say yes. We can get marri—“

“We aren’t getting married just so we can take a holiday, Draco.”

“We won’t get married yet. Payment can be discussed later. Just tell me you’ll come with me.” He grabbed her hand and sat next to her. His face, for once, was easy to read. He was so excited by the idea.

“I don’t know,” Ginny trailed off. But she did know—she knew she wanted to go. She knew they needed to leave. “All right. Let’s go.”

“You mean it? I swear, Gin, this is what we need. Anywhere you want to go? America, Brazil, even Antarctica. Well, my skin would dry out, so not there.”

Ginny laughed. “We wouldn’t want that now. You’re right, though. We’re dying here. I don’t want that for us.”

“Me neither. Because…I don’t think I could stand to live without you again.”

She had expected him to look like he was choking on those words. Sentiment was never Draco’s strongpoint. But he looked completely sincere.

“Good. Especially since I don’t think I’d be very well off without you either. Even if you are a giant prat.”

Smiling, Draco slung his arm around Ginny’s shoulders. He pulled her against his chest. She, in turn, wound her arms around his waist and leaned her head against him. Neither of them spoke. Neither moved. And neither of them could think of a better place to be at that moment.