Disclaimer: Not mine. A/N at the end...enjoy
***
When Draco walked back into his room, Ginny started laughing. This was the exact reason he did not wear these damn things out in public. They made him look ridiculous.
“You wear glasses?” Ginny was staring at his silver frames.
“You think Scarhead is the only wizard who wears glasses?” Draco asked angrily. Ginny frowned.
“I just didn't know is all. You didn't have to bite my head off,” she said.
“There's a lot you don't know about me,” Draco grumbled as he got back into the bed.
“So tell me something about yourself.”
“I'm tired.”
“Oh, just one thing... and I'll tell you something about me,” Ginny bargained. She had slept the whole day, and was beginning to feel a little better. Well, her head was still throbbing, but she didn't feel nauseated anymore.
“Tell me why you decided not to have your own children,” Draco said. He knew he was walking on thin ice with that one. He knew what happened to her while the Death Eaters had her, because he was there, but he wondered if that was the reason she didn't want to have children. Or, maybe, he was completely wrong and she didn't want to have a brood like her mother, and have to live in poverty for the rest of her life. Working at St. Mungo's was doing well for her, and she was finally earning good money. A lot of children would definitely ruin that for a person.
“It's personal...”
“And so is anything I have to tell you,” Draco crossed his arms stubbornly.
“Fine,” Ginny agreed with a heavy sigh. Draco thought for a moment.
“I never really wanted to be a Death Eater,” he finally said. He wanted to tell her the truth, knowing that whatever she told him was something important. He just didn't want to tell her everything. Draco didn't think either of them was ready to know the full truth.
“What? You're kidding! Lucius Malfoy is your father.”
“Was my father,” Draco corrected her. His father killed himself shortly after Voldemort was killed. The coward figured taking his own life was more important than letting a Dementor do it.
“Besides,” he continued, “that's even more of a reason not to want to be involved with them. I thought about it, about being a Death Eater, and I probably would've done it because it clearly looked like the winning side in my fifth year.”
“Why?” Ginny asked. Draco chuckled.
“My choices at the time looked like Potty, someone I despised, or my father and Voldemort, someone else I despised, and someone I was terrified of.”
“All those times you stuck up for your father whenever someone said something about him, and you despised the man?”
“He was my father. I was taught to respect him, even if I hated him. My mother hated him with everything she was, but she still would not disrespect him.”
“That's ridiculous! How can you respect someone you hate?” Ginny wondered.
“It's just something that was taught in my family. As dysfunctional as it sounds to you, it was the way I was brought up. Can I continue?”
“By all means,” Ginny smirked.
“In my sixth year, I didn't even get to choose. Because of my father's arrogance and stupidity, I was forced to take the Mark and carry his burden. You know how that turned out.”
“Not well,” Ginny said sadly, thinking of her former Headmaster.
“Not well at all. After Snape killed Dumbledore, I had no where to go but back to Voldemort.”
“That's not true!”
“If I went back to the Order, they would've killed Snape and me. They were angry, and not willing to listen. Dumbledore was an old fool... but, the wisest old fool that will ever live. Whoever murders, or plots to murder, someone like that deserves to die. I would've killed myself if I wasn't so scared.”
“You…scared?”
“The entire Wizarding world wanted me dead. Your side was understandable. When Voldemort found out that I wasn't able to do it, he wanted me dead. Snape was able to convince him, eventually, that he had to do it. He told Voldemort that Dumbledore had immobilized me. Because Snape was his right-hand man, he, of course, believed him.”
“I thought you were terrified of Voldemort? Why would you go back?”
“As I said, I had nowhere else to go,” Draco frowned, “And after he gave the order to kill Dumbledore, I knew he was nothing more than a scared fool. He couldn't do anything serious with Dumbledore still around. He was the only person Voldemort was ever afraid of.” Ginny smiled.
“You've got so many layers, don't you?” she asked. This is only the beginning, Draco thought.
“So, what's your story?” Draco asked conversationally, as if it were just a question about the weather.
“I'm afraid as much as it is personal,” Ginny turned onto her side so that she faced Draco. “It's not as compelling a story as yours was.” Draco gave her a little smile. She realized that his smiles were much better than those smirks that usually adorned his hard face. The smiles actually made his eyes sparkle a little. Sparkle. What an odd word to associate with Draco Malfoy, Ginny thought before starting her story.
“As you know, I was captured during the Death Eaters’ raid on Platform 9 ¾, just after I completed my seventh year. While I was there, I was raped and tortured and I cannot get any of it out of my head.”
Draco sucked in his breath. It was as he had figured. It was because of what happened while she was captured. He was actually hoping it was because Scarhead had been such a bad lay that she couldn't bring herself to make love to another person. He was sadly mistaken. The thought of her not wanting to have children because of what happened to her made him feel a little sick. He wished he could've gotten her out of there sooner.
“I was only seventeen, so the wonderful “First Time” that you hear about, with soft music and rose petals strewn about the silk sheets of your lover’s bed, was on a wet cement floor with an old smelly Death Eater.” Ginny's voice was oddly empty and distant as she spoke. “When I came back, Harry wanted to continue our relationship. It took me almost dying for him to realize that he really, truly wanted to be with me. Only, I couldn't be with him anymore. Whenever he tried to touch me, or kiss me, I thought I might be sick. He said he understood, but I think he still might be mad about it.” Ginny looked up at Draco sadly, and he wanted to kill Potty for not understanding. “I let everyone down.”
“How'd you manage that?” Draco asked softly.
“Everyone thought I would marry Harry,” Ginny smirked cruelly. “I was supposed to marry him, according to Ron, after we broke it off officially for the second time, and have his five point three children and have the white picket fence that the Muggles always talk about. I just don't think I could ever be touched again.” Draco was aware of the tears that were forming in her eyes and he took to rubbing her hair as he had done earlier. It seemed to comfort her and it was the only thing he knew to do. He was never good at that sort of thing, he never had to be.
“Who wants to be with someone that a bunch of old Death Eaters used?” Ginny asked sadly.
“I'm sorry,” Draco said after a few moments of silence. He had no idea what in the bloody hell he was supposed to say. He sort of felt bad for making he tell him the story.
“Were you there?” Ginny asked, startling him. How did she know?
“Excuse me?” Draco asked; his tongue suddenly very dry and sticking to the roof of his mouth.
“Were you there?” Ginny repeated more slowly. “If you were there, then you could be sorry.”
“No, I wasn't there,” Draco lied.
“I didn't think so. Did you ever find anything about the Death Eater who saved me?”
“No,” Draco lied again. He had heard of the Muggle Hell, and if it were true, he would surely be going straight there for all the lies he told in his life. The biggest being now because the person, whom he had saved, sat with her head in his lap as he softly played with her hair until she drifted off to sleep again.
***
Thankfully, with Draco taking care of her, Ginny felt much better in a few days and was able to return back to work. It was under a strict warning that Draco agreed that she was ready, though. Ginny smiled now at the image of the stern face he gave her when he told her that she was not, under any circumstances, allowed to strain herself. If he could only see the “strain” that she was under lifting the envelopes from the owls’ legs, he would see why she laughed at him.
Ginny first saw Ron on his way into the office, late and with a baby sock stuck to the back of his robe.
“Mornin', Gin,” he grumbled as he walked past her desk to the office he shared with Harry.
“If you agree to make a lunch date with me, I won't tell Tonks you were late,” Ginny said not looking up from the parchment she was writing on. Ron stopped short and turned back to her.
“Tonks isn't the stealthiest person in the world, but she is the smartest, so she will find out that I was late anyway. But, I will have lunch with you,” he turned to walk away, but stopped and turned back around.
“Why?” he asked.
“Can't a girl want to catch up with her brother?” Ginny asked with a sickeningly sweet smile on her face.
“Not this one,” Ron nodded to her.
“Fine,” Ginny put down her quill. “I need help with something.”
“That's more like it!” Ron grinned. “So how are you feeling?” He had finally woken up enough to realize that this was her first day back.
“Good. Draco took care of me.”
“That's... great.” Ron seemed to be struggling with the news of Draco caring for anyone... especially his sister. Ginny knew for a fact that Mrs. Weasley (and Hermione, she was sure) had made Ron and Harry behave when it came to Draco, for Ginny's sake.
“Well, I'll see you at lunchtime,” Ron said awkwardly and hurried into his office.
***
Ginny had just sat down in the noisy Ministry Cafeteria and had begun to pick at her chicken salad she had bought, when Ron joined her.
“I really need your help,” Ginny blurted.
“Glad you got straight to the point,” Ron laughed as he pulled out chips, a bowl of soup, an apple, a ham sandwich, and cookies out of a bag that said “Ron” in black letters, and “dad”, sloppily spelled with a pink crayon that Hermione had helped Natalie write with.
“Stuff it. I need to find out about the person who saved my life. Or someone who helped him get me out of there.”
“It's been seven years, Gin. Why are you suddenly so adamant about finding him now? What?” he asked when Ginny's eyes grew wide.
“You know what 'adamant' means?”
“Now you stuff it,” Ron said as he bit into his sandwich.
“Like you said, it's been seven years. I've always wondered, but now it's really bugging me that I haven't heard anything about anyone who might've known about it.”
“Maybe they're dead... maybe they don't want you to know.”
“But they saved me!” Ginny slammed her fork down and a couple of workers turned to look at her. She gave them a sheepish grin.
“Why would they not want me to find them?” she asked in a more appropriate tone.
“Shey noshdya” Ron said with a mouthful of apple.
“What?”
“I have no idea,” Ron repeated, “For whatever reason, it seems like none of the people that helped you want to be found.”
“But can you look,” Ginny pleaded.
Ron frowned. He was willing to do anything for his sister, but he knew that he wouldn't find anything about this mystery bloke, or the others that helped him. He knew very little about what his father knew about them because Arthur refused to speak of it.
“You don't even know his name, or what he sounded like. You said their voices were disguised,” said Ron.
“Ron, this means a lot to me. Maybe if I could find him and say 'thank you', I might be able to sleep at night without dreaming about the past.”
“What do you have for me, so that I can begin looking?”
“This.” Ginny handed him her Phoenix charmed necklace. “There were only two of them made from the same Phoenix's tears. I'm sure you can find more about it than I did.”
Ron stared at the necklace in his hand.
“You have nothing else that would help?” he asked finally.
“His hand.” Ron wrinkled his brow.
“What about it?” he asked.
“He held my hand. I would know what it felt like.”
“So, what am I supposed to do?” Ron asked. “Have all the pardoned Death Eaters around for a spot of tea and ask them to hold your hand?” Ginny laughed.
“It's a start,” she said.
“Gin, I might not find anything,” Ron said. He hated to let his sister down just as much as he hated to tell her no.
“I don't like not finding anything more,” Ginny said, “I hate knowing that someone saved me and I can't even give them a proper thank you.” Ron sighed heavily.
“Fine, just give me a couple of weeks of searching before you start sending me Howlers and Apparating to my flat in the middle of the night.”
“Thank you so much!” Ginny stood up and threw her arms around her brother, whose ears had turned red.
***
Authors Note: Hi guys! I was pretty bad on updating this time, and I apologize. I've had a doctor's appointment and a break up...and bunch of stuff. If you ever need to know what's going on if I have a lack in update, check my livejournal.. i'll post it on there (http://www.livejournal/users/lucy_20). I put something about it in my response to a review, but I'm not sure if anyone goes back and checks. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and that it explaines some stuff for some people wondering why Draco asked about her not having kids. I just wrote a chapter that wasn't in there before ... and it includes a “date” which will probably be the next post... stay tuned :)
***
When Draco walked back into his room, Ginny started laughing. This was the exact reason he did not wear these damn things out in public. They made him look ridiculous.
“You wear glasses?” Ginny was staring at his silver frames.
“You think Scarhead is the only wizard who wears glasses?” Draco asked angrily. Ginny frowned.
“I just didn't know is all. You didn't have to bite my head off,” she said.
“There's a lot you don't know about me,” Draco grumbled as he got back into the bed.
“So tell me something about yourself.”
“I'm tired.”
“Oh, just one thing... and I'll tell you something about me,” Ginny bargained. She had slept the whole day, and was beginning to feel a little better. Well, her head was still throbbing, but she didn't feel nauseated anymore.
“Tell me why you decided not to have your own children,” Draco said. He knew he was walking on thin ice with that one. He knew what happened to her while the Death Eaters had her, because he was there, but he wondered if that was the reason she didn't want to have children. Or, maybe, he was completely wrong and she didn't want to have a brood like her mother, and have to live in poverty for the rest of her life. Working at St. Mungo's was doing well for her, and she was finally earning good money. A lot of children would definitely ruin that for a person.
“It's personal...”
“And so is anything I have to tell you,” Draco crossed his arms stubbornly.
“Fine,” Ginny agreed with a heavy sigh. Draco thought for a moment.
“I never really wanted to be a Death Eater,” he finally said. He wanted to tell her the truth, knowing that whatever she told him was something important. He just didn't want to tell her everything. Draco didn't think either of them was ready to know the full truth.
“What? You're kidding! Lucius Malfoy is your father.”
“Was my father,” Draco corrected her. His father killed himself shortly after Voldemort was killed. The coward figured taking his own life was more important than letting a Dementor do it.
“Besides,” he continued, “that's even more of a reason not to want to be involved with them. I thought about it, about being a Death Eater, and I probably would've done it because it clearly looked like the winning side in my fifth year.”
“Why?” Ginny asked. Draco chuckled.
“My choices at the time looked like Potty, someone I despised, or my father and Voldemort, someone else I despised, and someone I was terrified of.”
“All those times you stuck up for your father whenever someone said something about him, and you despised the man?”
“He was my father. I was taught to respect him, even if I hated him. My mother hated him with everything she was, but she still would not disrespect him.”
“That's ridiculous! How can you respect someone you hate?” Ginny wondered.
“It's just something that was taught in my family. As dysfunctional as it sounds to you, it was the way I was brought up. Can I continue?”
“By all means,” Ginny smirked.
“In my sixth year, I didn't even get to choose. Because of my father's arrogance and stupidity, I was forced to take the Mark and carry his burden. You know how that turned out.”
“Not well,” Ginny said sadly, thinking of her former Headmaster.
“Not well at all. After Snape killed Dumbledore, I had no where to go but back to Voldemort.”
“That's not true!”
“If I went back to the Order, they would've killed Snape and me. They were angry, and not willing to listen. Dumbledore was an old fool... but, the wisest old fool that will ever live. Whoever murders, or plots to murder, someone like that deserves to die. I would've killed myself if I wasn't so scared.”
“You…scared?”
“The entire Wizarding world wanted me dead. Your side was understandable. When Voldemort found out that I wasn't able to do it, he wanted me dead. Snape was able to convince him, eventually, that he had to do it. He told Voldemort that Dumbledore had immobilized me. Because Snape was his right-hand man, he, of course, believed him.”
“I thought you were terrified of Voldemort? Why would you go back?”
“As I said, I had nowhere else to go,” Draco frowned, “And after he gave the order to kill Dumbledore, I knew he was nothing more than a scared fool. He couldn't do anything serious with Dumbledore still around. He was the only person Voldemort was ever afraid of.” Ginny smiled.
“You've got so many layers, don't you?” she asked. This is only the beginning, Draco thought.
“So, what's your story?” Draco asked conversationally, as if it were just a question about the weather.
“I'm afraid as much as it is personal,” Ginny turned onto her side so that she faced Draco. “It's not as compelling a story as yours was.” Draco gave her a little smile. She realized that his smiles were much better than those smirks that usually adorned his hard face. The smiles actually made his eyes sparkle a little. Sparkle. What an odd word to associate with Draco Malfoy, Ginny thought before starting her story.
“As you know, I was captured during the Death Eaters’ raid on Platform 9 ¾, just after I completed my seventh year. While I was there, I was raped and tortured and I cannot get any of it out of my head.”
Draco sucked in his breath. It was as he had figured. It was because of what happened while she was captured. He was actually hoping it was because Scarhead had been such a bad lay that she couldn't bring herself to make love to another person. He was sadly mistaken. The thought of her not wanting to have children because of what happened to her made him feel a little sick. He wished he could've gotten her out of there sooner.
“I was only seventeen, so the wonderful “First Time” that you hear about, with soft music and rose petals strewn about the silk sheets of your lover’s bed, was on a wet cement floor with an old smelly Death Eater.” Ginny's voice was oddly empty and distant as she spoke. “When I came back, Harry wanted to continue our relationship. It took me almost dying for him to realize that he really, truly wanted to be with me. Only, I couldn't be with him anymore. Whenever he tried to touch me, or kiss me, I thought I might be sick. He said he understood, but I think he still might be mad about it.” Ginny looked up at Draco sadly, and he wanted to kill Potty for not understanding. “I let everyone down.”
“How'd you manage that?” Draco asked softly.
“Everyone thought I would marry Harry,” Ginny smirked cruelly. “I was supposed to marry him, according to Ron, after we broke it off officially for the second time, and have his five point three children and have the white picket fence that the Muggles always talk about. I just don't think I could ever be touched again.” Draco was aware of the tears that were forming in her eyes and he took to rubbing her hair as he had done earlier. It seemed to comfort her and it was the only thing he knew to do. He was never good at that sort of thing, he never had to be.
“Who wants to be with someone that a bunch of old Death Eaters used?” Ginny asked sadly.
“I'm sorry,” Draco said after a few moments of silence. He had no idea what in the bloody hell he was supposed to say. He sort of felt bad for making he tell him the story.
“Were you there?” Ginny asked, startling him. How did she know?
“Excuse me?” Draco asked; his tongue suddenly very dry and sticking to the roof of his mouth.
“Were you there?” Ginny repeated more slowly. “If you were there, then you could be sorry.”
“No, I wasn't there,” Draco lied.
“I didn't think so. Did you ever find anything about the Death Eater who saved me?”
“No,” Draco lied again. He had heard of the Muggle Hell, and if it were true, he would surely be going straight there for all the lies he told in his life. The biggest being now because the person, whom he had saved, sat with her head in his lap as he softly played with her hair until she drifted off to sleep again.
***
Thankfully, with Draco taking care of her, Ginny felt much better in a few days and was able to return back to work. It was under a strict warning that Draco agreed that she was ready, though. Ginny smiled now at the image of the stern face he gave her when he told her that she was not, under any circumstances, allowed to strain herself. If he could only see the “strain” that she was under lifting the envelopes from the owls’ legs, he would see why she laughed at him.
Ginny first saw Ron on his way into the office, late and with a baby sock stuck to the back of his robe.
“Mornin', Gin,” he grumbled as he walked past her desk to the office he shared with Harry.
“If you agree to make a lunch date with me, I won't tell Tonks you were late,” Ginny said not looking up from the parchment she was writing on. Ron stopped short and turned back to her.
“Tonks isn't the stealthiest person in the world, but she is the smartest, so she will find out that I was late anyway. But, I will have lunch with you,” he turned to walk away, but stopped and turned back around.
“Why?” he asked.
“Can't a girl want to catch up with her brother?” Ginny asked with a sickeningly sweet smile on her face.
“Not this one,” Ron nodded to her.
“Fine,” Ginny put down her quill. “I need help with something.”
“That's more like it!” Ron grinned. “So how are you feeling?” He had finally woken up enough to realize that this was her first day back.
“Good. Draco took care of me.”
“That's... great.” Ron seemed to be struggling with the news of Draco caring for anyone... especially his sister. Ginny knew for a fact that Mrs. Weasley (and Hermione, she was sure) had made Ron and Harry behave when it came to Draco, for Ginny's sake.
“Well, I'll see you at lunchtime,” Ron said awkwardly and hurried into his office.
***
Ginny had just sat down in the noisy Ministry Cafeteria and had begun to pick at her chicken salad she had bought, when Ron joined her.
“I really need your help,” Ginny blurted.
“Glad you got straight to the point,” Ron laughed as he pulled out chips, a bowl of soup, an apple, a ham sandwich, and cookies out of a bag that said “Ron” in black letters, and “dad”, sloppily spelled with a pink crayon that Hermione had helped Natalie write with.
“Stuff it. I need to find out about the person who saved my life. Or someone who helped him get me out of there.”
“It's been seven years, Gin. Why are you suddenly so adamant about finding him now? What?” he asked when Ginny's eyes grew wide.
“You know what 'adamant' means?”
“Now you stuff it,” Ron said as he bit into his sandwich.
“Like you said, it's been seven years. I've always wondered, but now it's really bugging me that I haven't heard anything about anyone who might've known about it.”
“Maybe they're dead... maybe they don't want you to know.”
“But they saved me!” Ginny slammed her fork down and a couple of workers turned to look at her. She gave them a sheepish grin.
“Why would they not want me to find them?” she asked in a more appropriate tone.
“Shey noshdya” Ron said with a mouthful of apple.
“What?”
“I have no idea,” Ron repeated, “For whatever reason, it seems like none of the people that helped you want to be found.”
“But can you look,” Ginny pleaded.
Ron frowned. He was willing to do anything for his sister, but he knew that he wouldn't find anything about this mystery bloke, or the others that helped him. He knew very little about what his father knew about them because Arthur refused to speak of it.
“You don't even know his name, or what he sounded like. You said their voices were disguised,” said Ron.
“Ron, this means a lot to me. Maybe if I could find him and say 'thank you', I might be able to sleep at night without dreaming about the past.”
“What do you have for me, so that I can begin looking?”
“This.” Ginny handed him her Phoenix charmed necklace. “There were only two of them made from the same Phoenix's tears. I'm sure you can find more about it than I did.”
Ron stared at the necklace in his hand.
“You have nothing else that would help?” he asked finally.
“His hand.” Ron wrinkled his brow.
“What about it?” he asked.
“He held my hand. I would know what it felt like.”
“So, what am I supposed to do?” Ron asked. “Have all the pardoned Death Eaters around for a spot of tea and ask them to hold your hand?” Ginny laughed.
“It's a start,” she said.
“Gin, I might not find anything,” Ron said. He hated to let his sister down just as much as he hated to tell her no.
“I don't like not finding anything more,” Ginny said, “I hate knowing that someone saved me and I can't even give them a proper thank you.” Ron sighed heavily.
“Fine, just give me a couple of weeks of searching before you start sending me Howlers and Apparating to my flat in the middle of the night.”
“Thank you so much!” Ginny stood up and threw her arms around her brother, whose ears had turned red.
***
Authors Note: Hi guys! I was pretty bad on updating this time, and I apologize. I've had a doctor's appointment and a break up...and bunch of stuff. If you ever need to know what's going on if I have a lack in update, check my livejournal.. i'll post it on there (http://www.livejournal/users/lucy_20). I put something about it in my response to a review, but I'm not sure if anyone goes back and checks. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and that it explaines some stuff for some people wondering why Draco asked about her not having kids. I just wrote a chapter that wasn't in there before ... and it includes a “date” which will probably be the next post... stay tuned :)
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