The passenger dorm was fairly quiet. Simon had already moved into Kaylee's bunk, but River had remained behind. She tended to read or sketch in her free time, so there wasn't a lot of noise echoing in the dorm. The quiet was just as distracting for Ginny as she curled up on the bed in the next room. She didn't want to be alone in her thoughts at this point; all she could think of was the final moments of the spell Ron had cast. The spell had been complex, and the magic mesh had pressed into her skin. It had pushed into her so blindingly fast that she hadn't been able to breathe. There had been a scream, but it hadn't been hers.
Who had it been? Ginny thought, chewing on the inside of her cheek. What had happened as I left?
There was a soft knock at the door. As Ginny sat up, River entered the door with a tray. On it were two tea cups and one pot with steam rising from the spout.
River smiled at the redhead. "Our worlds collide, as heaven pulls us through the abyss. We must contemplate their meaning together."
"What?"
River sat down beside Ginny and balanced the tray between them. She began to pour the jasmine tea into the two cups. She looked up as she held out one cup. "The secret of the world is written in the stars. Perhaps there is a way to recreate the moment of your departure in our own time and space in order to return you to your starting point."
"But there's no magic here," Ginny protested. She didn't look at the tea cup in her hands. "There's nothing we can do to recreate the spell, since I never knew it in the first place."
River smiled and sipped at her tea. "I'm carrying your heart in mine, and perhaps some of your knowledge, too. This sage we seek to visit may have knowledge from our lost times. Perhaps your magical wisdom is still preserved this far into the future."
"But there's no place here I can do magic..."
"I would imagine that magic draws its power from life. There is little life to draw from here. We are in the far reaches of space, the vacuum of matter and dark matter. You would need a live world to draw from, to collect the dreams and breath of a thousand souls. Magic of fairy tales often needed creatures of the fantastic and herbs of questionable reality. Perhaps these are things we may find once you absorb the dreams of a populace. Life force may be necessary. You would need the heartbeat of a living planet." River sipped at her tea and eyed Ginny. "Drink, before it grows cold and tasteless."
She sipped at the jasmine tea. "It's different from home," the girl said softly. She took a deep swallow. "It's nice."
"It is good to have someone to speak with," River murmured. "There are few here with which I can do so, and little still in common to speak of. I have never been an ordinary girl."
"You talk a little funny."
"It is what they made of me," River replied solemnly. "But please, speak of your world. Perhaps we may find a common core to begin again."
Ginny found herself describing the Burrow, Hogwarts, Harry, her classmates and what it had all meant to her. There were times she found herself crying, but it didn't bother her at all. It didn't matter that River could see her tears, since River seemed to understand everything. She knew what it was like to be the youngest in the family. She knew what it was like to be pampered and then thrown to the wolves. She knew what it was like to have the pressure of others placed upon her and no way to act upon them. River knew.
"I miss them," Ginny finished simply.
"Sometimes it seems that I don't have the skills to recollect the twists and turns of plot that turned us to friends," River murmured. She reached out and touched Ginny's tears with her fingertips. She brought them to her tongue and tasted the bitter salt.
"What if there is no way back?" Ginny asked, watching River curiously.
River stood and picked up the empty cups. She placed them back on the tray, and removed it from the bed. "We will cross that path once we arrive at the stream."
Ginny jumped to her feet. "No. I need to know if there's something more for me here. If I can't go back, what would I be able to do here?"
River placed the tray down on the dresser top. She approached the other girl, stepping lightly on her bare toes. She moved forward, until barely an inch separated their faces. Her kiss was the lightest of caresses on the other girl's lips, and she darted back to her prior position. She was fast and nimble, doing everything in the blink of an eye.
She touched her lips with her fingertips. "His touch was last, most tender and loving. You had to leave him behind to perform your task, and his silver eyes haunt you. He loves you very much, though he doesn't know the words." River's lips twitched in a sardonic smile. "I wish I could have the same assurances for myself."
Ginny had gone stark white with River's words. "How do you know that?"
"You question whether you know me at all," River murmured to Ginny. She linked her fingers through the stunned girl's hands, ignoring the tea tray on the dresser. "It's all right. They always do. They don't know how to see me now. I don't fit their perceptions of me, their mistaken conceptions had been shattered and they don't know how to repair the damage. You will revisit every smile he made and how it fit into the day you left, but it will not make sense. Chaos does not readily make way to linear thought."
"Why do you talk like that?" Ginny asked, her brows furrowing in confusion. She didn't know what to feel about the strange girl in front of her. Should she be afraid of that fleeting kiss? Should she be afraid of what the girl could guess about her? Her head was pounding, and she was afraid it would blossom into a migraine. "You talk in circles."
"They think me strange," River murmured, coming even closer. Ginny could smell the clean scent of her soap and shampoo. "Sometimes, they did to you, in your own time. You felt it, the distance and the absence. You felt the emptiness between spaces in their words. You saw the things they did not say."
River kissed her, full and wet and with longing. It was the way he had kissed her, his silver eyes growing molten and his blonde hair curling against his cheek. River's tongue slid into her mouth the same way, her hands on Ginny's cheeks. Ginny found her arms wrapping around the slim girl, her hands sliding down the smooth back. She wasn't shaped like Draco at all, but she was kissing her the same way, and it was as close to Draco as she could get.
River broke the kiss and blinked owlishly. For a fleeting moment, Ginny was haunted by the last sight of Luna peeking out over Neville's shoulder, blinking up at her. Luna would have been more suited to speaking with this girl. They would have been fast friends.
"He's sorry. He feels he hurt you by being beside you, by not being worthy of your love. He feels that to protect you is to push you away, and that his touch would taint you." River caressed Ginny's cheek in much the same way Draco had done before she had left, his harsh words bringing tears to her eyes. "He worries your enemies would track you down through him, and worries that you don't mean what you say to him." She dropped her hand from Ginny's cheek and rested it over her heaving breast. For some reason, Ginny didn't protest. "You hide him here, but he doesn't know that. He feels alone, adrift in darkness of his father's making. He feels as though you are a last salvation that he cannot accept."
Ginny wanted to believe it. She wanted to believe that River knew things, that she hadn't been taken for a fool yet again. She watched River take the tray and calmly walk to the door. "River? How is it that you know things like that?"
Her gaze was soft and sad. "I'm whimsical in the brainpan, they say. I'm crazy. I'm what they fear to contemplate. I've always known. I've never not. I know how to read between their voices in conversations as well, and how people speak without words. I've always known."
"Does it get any better?" Ginny asked, her voice above a whisper. Her hands were clasped over her chest, fingers linked together tightly. "Does it get easier? Can they accept us just knowing these things and reacting?"
River shook her head. "I'm a witch. You are, too."
"I've always been able to do magic before..." Ginny's voice trailed off. "But there's no magic here, not anymore."
"The worlds don't have enough life to sustain themselves, let alone magic. Very few worlds do anymore. Magic isn't something that others had tried to preserve."
"Do you have someone?" Ginny asked, voice soft and sad. She had her memories of Draco, and River suddenly seemed so very alone.
She shook her head again. "I am Mei Mei. I am a child to them still. I am not a mature woman for romantical stylings, and would likely not ever find someone to accept the different facets they had carved into me at the Academy."
"Are you that strange?"
River's eyes were deep fathomless pools. "I am. Believe it if you will, but I am. I am not a simple frail creature as I may seem. The others have seen to that."
"But don't you want someone to love you back?"
"Of course," she said primly. "But I am not appropriate for the marriage mart any longer. I am something to be feared, something cobbled together out of fear and pain and abuse. I have my brother to love me, but I can expect no other. None would have me, and I would not suffer pity gladly just for an illusion of love."
Ginny watched her go in silence. The future wasn't necessarily any better than the past.
If she could just keep moving, she could keep the panic at bay, stop herself from seeing his eyes as she left him, and drown out the horrible whispers at the back of her mind. She remembered the last time she had seen Draco, rain pouring from the sky. The clouds had been as silver as his eyes, and she had been so frustrated by his need to prove himself.
"Prove what?" Draco had drawled. "I don't need to prove anything."
"That you're good enough," Ginny said softly.
"I am."
"That when you're hurt, someone will care," Ginny had continued. "That when you're gone, someone will grieve." She had watched his face contort with rage and agony, had known that her barb had more than hit its mark. He had kissed her then, full of longing and desperation, then had disappeared out into the field. A week later, she had been caught in a spell net so tight it had taken her breath and spirited her into the future.
"You're thinking about a boy," Kaylee said matter of factly, dropping down into the seat next to Ginny at the card table. Kaylee grabbed the cards from Ginny's hands. She had watched the redhead shuffle the cards for solitaire for the past ten minutes.
Ginny flushed. "How can you tell? Are you psychic, too?"
"Oh, gosh, no! But I've done my share of pining over boys, and it looks the same no matter what year it is." Kaylee's laughter was light and bubbling, water over a brook in the Highlands of Scotland. Ginny had missed the sound of such things.
"I... We didn't part well."
Kaylee began dealing cards for Gin Rummy. "You play Gin Rummy where you're from? I know the game's old, but I dunno how old." She waited until Ginny nodded. "So you didn't part well, huh? Well, how did it end?"
"That's just it. I don't know if it did. River said something about him wanting to protect me from our enemies, and that he doesn't believe I could really love him." Ginny bit her lip and picked up the well worn cards. "I want her to be right."
Kaylee overturned the first card on the draw pile. "She probably is. She knows stuff like that. I would say to trust in what you feel. I always got so mad when Simon said something stupid, and I'd think maybe he didn't like me after all." Kaylee giggled as she drew up a card. "It's... love is something crazy. It makes you all twisty into knots and you doubt you even know what you know, which is just silly. But it's fun and goes right to your head like a belly full of hooch." She watched Ginny take her card in contemplation. "It can hurt, but when it works it's like walking on the sun."
Ginny looked up at Kaylee, unshed tears in her eyes. "That's all I want. That's all I ever wanted."
"Sometimes you gotta make it happen. Else nobody will ever know what's in your heart. Pushing it away don't do nothing but burn you up inside. Ain't no call for that, you know."
"River's alone, and she's so sad because of it. I don't know which is better."
Kaylee frowned. "Hm... I guess I didn't stop to notice River, to be honest. I was kinda occupied with her brother. But if she's gonna be my sister, and I can really only hope about that because Simon's something of a boob when it comes to love, then we should help fix that."
Ginny blinked at the bubbling rush of words. "But who? She says she's crazy."
"Oh. Yeah. But she's pretty. There's always somebody who would go for a pretty face. And if he sticks around long enough, then he'll see how sweet she is, too." Kaylee paused as she drew up the next card. "Or is she sly? I don't know about that."
"Sly?"
"Into girls. Or boys into boys. You know, kinda not mainstream, so they do it on the sly."
Future slang was odd, but fairly easy to understand with explanations. "Oh! No, I don't think so," Ginny murmured, pushing their kisses from her mind. That had been different. River had been taking the memory of Draco from her lips. River had implied wanting a man to love her as more than a sister, not a girl.
"Well, there ain't too much competition 'round these parts. Maybe on Persephone we can find somebody," Kaylee added with a flourish. Ginny noticed Jayne walking past the recreation area from the kitchen.
"We can find somebody for what?" Jayne asked, holding a drink in hand. "A paying job?"
Kaylee smiled at him warmly. "Nah. We're thinkin' to fix up River. Wanna sit with us?"
Jayne looked horrified. "What kind of go se is that? Who'd stick by someone with a couple screws loose?"
"Ain't her fault and you know it," Kaylee retorted hotly. "It's not right what they did, and she shouldn't have to be alone for it."
"It would have to be a merc," Jayne decided after a lengthy swig of his drink. He plopped the glass down on the table with a decisive hand.
"Why?" Kaylee asked, curious.
Jayne shrugged as he peeked at Kaylee's cards. "Who else wouldn't think twice about how she took down three dozen Reavers by herself?"
"Reavers?" Ginny asked, pulling her cards away from Jayne's view.
"Man-things. Crazy. Completely batshit insane," Jayne replied matter-of-factly. "The doc's sister is only a teensy bit crazy in comparison."
Kaylee blinked in surprise. "I think that's the nicest thing you've said about her."
"Well, now, like you said, it ain't her fault she's nuts." Jayne looked uncomfortable and stood. "Anyway, don't go doing nothing stupid. Most mercs ain't no dating kind."
Kaylee and Ginny exchanged looks as Jayne left the recreation area. "I'm having a horrid idea," Ginny said, putting her cards down on the table. "I do think she might be completely angry with us if we do it."
Kaylee grinned. "I think it would be cute, don't you?"
They dissolved into giggles and continued their game.
The Eavesdown Docks on Persephone were the same as always. They were bustling and full of busy people who didn't always look twice at who was passing by. Kaylee had seized Ginny's arm and declared that they would be looking for work that would get them to Shinon. "Respectable people look for friendly faces to do the work," Kaylee said, smiling sweetly up at Jayne's scowling face. "Why don't you and River stock up on munitions while we're out and about?" She turned to Simon, who was about to say something. "Honey, you can come with us and shop for those medical supplies you wanted."
That neatly shut down everyone's arguments before they began.
Kaylee winked at Ginny, who giggled. "I've never been here before," she said in explanation when she caught Simon eyeing her oddly. "I'm excited. I've never been on another planet before. It sounds exciting."
Simon launched into a long winded lecture about terraforming and the science behind it. Before Ginny knew it, they were perusing the work lists and they were striking up conversations with others around them. Mal and Zoe had opted to remain on Serenity, talking amongst themselves; Ginny hadn't felt comfortable asking them any questions.
She spied River and Jayne on a few occasions going through different shops. They seemed to be conversing amiably enough, so she tried spying on them when they were close enough. That also served to give Simon and Kaylee some semblance of privacy.
"I didn’t really know what to call you, and you didn’t know me at all," River was saying. "How was I supposed to know that names are fluid?"
"I was happy to explain. Your stupid brother wouldn't let me," Jayne replied, picking up a rather large and scary looking knife. "Here. Test this one out."
River hefted it easily, and rolled her wrist around in a circle. In her hands, the knife's movements looked like pure poetry. "I suppose this one might do. The end is weighted differently. It may cause problems with wrist motion."
"Huh. I thought so."
Jayne put the knife back on the rack and looked at River. "You're good at that."
"Oh? At what? Testing weights?" River shrugged and took another wicked looking blade from off of the display shelf. "I can see things clearer, test the realms in an instant." She looked up at Jayne and smiled. "No, that's not true. It's all smoke in the mirrors, something to try and earn myself a place to speak of."
"Huh?"
"If I'm not the witch of the ship, what else will I be?"
Jayne's brow furrowed. "You're the pilot."
"No, I'm not. That's still Wash. He will always be the pilot, and his ghost walks the bridge. I will never be able to replace him."
Jayne looked away, uncomfortable. "Look, don't go talkin' 'bout ghosts."
River looked at Jayne thoughtfully. "I never really knew how to move you. I didn't realize this was a simpler way that telling you of life necessities."
"What?"
"Red is life and love and happiness. I told you that you looked better in red." Ginny watched Jayne touch his chest almost instinctively, his face drawn up in near anger. "I thought it was easier to show you than explain. I tried to intrude through the little holes in your veins, but it didn't work out that way. I don't know how to speak," River concluded.
Jayne snorted, grabbing a box of ammunition. "Stop using so many damn complicated words. Just say what you think, nice and simple. Ain't no call to speak fancy 'round these parts. All it does is set you apart."
"I am apart," River murmured. She looked at the box in Jayne's hands. "That's not on sale."
Grumbling, Jayne put it back on the shelf. "Lookit, nobody here's smart as you, dong ma? So nobody's gonna understand something you say in riddles. Speak simple, and then we'll know what you're talking 'bout."
"I don't know what I say sometimes," River admitted.
"Then keep your mouth shut like I do," Jayne muttered, shaking his head. "No use to spit up nonsense and look witchy. Better to look stupid than crazy. At least then they underestimate you and you can take 'em down easier."
River blinked. "Is that why you do that?"
"Huh? Do what?"
"Stay so silent." Jayne nodded almost belligerently. "Well, it is not these hiding places that have kept me innocent of such things. You would teach me to just let it all go by."
"Well, yeah. Easier that way. If you ain't no pilot, then you gotta figger out something else to do," Jayne added, moving over to another corner of the munitions shop.
"But I like being the witch," River murmured, almost to herself. She followed Jayne deeper into the store, and Ginny returned to Kaylee and Simon.
"I've need of someone to deliver a package," a tall woman with dark hair was telling Kaylee earnestly. "Alia did me such a favor, and I need to have this returned right away."
Ginny smiled at the woman as Kaylee accepted the package. "Of course. We'll go to Shinon right away, we promise."
"I've never been to Shinon," Ginny said honestly, looking at the tall, elegant-looking woman. "Is it nice there?"
The woman's eyes grew misty and faraway. "Its greatest beauty are the treasures walking within its sacred walls." Her smile was distant and haunting.
The universe is brought back from the verge of destruction every time you smile, Draco had told her once. She had carried the statement with her like a jewel, and it sometimes made her smile the same kind of haunting smile.
"Be well," Ginny said in farewell as the woman turned and walked into the crowds. The woman didn't respond, and disappeared behind the buildings.
"We have a job to do," Kaylee said with a smile. "A good hefty amount of coin, and just where we need to go anyhow. I think Buddha's smiling down on all of us just now."
Ginny smiled at her, her heart sinking to her toes. What if I can't go back? If River doesn't even have a place here, what hope is there for me?
They approached Shinon somewhat cautiously, but there was no need. No questions were asked; authentication codes for their delivery job were proof enough that they had every right to be there. The package, a bridal set of jewelry being returned to the Shinon Companion Training House, took them just where they needed to be. The credits earned from the trip were deposited into Mal's account, and he gave some to Kaylee for a supply run. Inara took River, Ginny and Jayne with her into the Training House to look for the sage.
The Sage of Wisdom Lost lived in the heart of the Training House, in the midst of the tallest spire. Her rooms were airy and filled with bookshelves stacked three deep to the ceiling. It was a library that Hermione Granger would have cheerfully throttled someone to have access to, Ginny realized, and this woman lived with the wealth of knowledge at her fingertips. Ginny blinked back the tears threatening to rise at the thought of Hermione. What if Ginny could never see any of them again?
The woman was old, bent over a table with a magnifying glass in hand. Her hair was spun white silver, pinned to the top of her head with elegant silver pins encrusted with clear crystals. Her robes were elegant jade colored silk with black ribbon trim. Her fingers carried heavy gold rings with elaborate carvings, and they were tracing glyphs on the pages of the massive book in front of her. "I know why you are here," she said, not looking up from the book. "The announcement had told me of your complement."
Inara stepped forward. "Great Sage of Wisdom Lost..."
"Hush," the woman replied, standing up to her full height. She was eye level to Inara's chin. "I know who you all are, and I know who I am. I am keeper of the Granger Library, though no one calls it by such a name anymore."
Ginny's gut twisted, and she wanted to cry.
The woman stepped away from the heavy book on the table and approached them. "They told me about you," she replied, approaching Ginny. "We saved everything we could, especially of magic. In the early days of this library, some mages were still capable of the spells enclosed within this library."
Ginny thought she couldn't breathe. "There's magic here?"
"Less so than in your time, but once upon a time we were able to cast simple spells. There is no school like the one this library was salvaged from," the sage said, gesturing around her. "These books are such ancient tomes, yet they are as readable as the day they were written." She cast a jaundiced eye over the company before her. "I am to share this with Ginevra Molly Weasley and her companions, and no other."
River looked at Ginny curiously. "Perhaps your wand will work now."
"Wand?" Jayne asked, confused.
Ginny removed her wand from her sleeve. She kept it by force of habit at this point; she knew it wouldn't work on Serenity, but it had comforted her somewhat. She pointed it at the pile of massive books beside Inara. "Wingardium leviosa!"
After a slight hitching movement, the books began to float.
She was going to faint. She was going to fall. This might work after all.
Inara caught Ginny's arm as she was about to sway in shock. "I suppose that's proof enough then," she said, looking at the sage's resentful gaze.
"It will have to be," the woman replied with a sigh. "We were warned of this, given a description of the girl. The initial spell had misfired, and the timing was off. There was no way to tell exactly what had happened, so a secret library and Order of Sages was created to wait for their wayward charge."
"What happened?" Ginny asked, looking at her. Her freckles stood out sharply against her pale skin. The sage didn't reply at first, looking at her sadly. "What happened to everyone?" Ginny repeated, voice rising in panic.
"They lost," the sage said, voice soft and sad. "The remnants of your Order were driven underground. Your school was destroyed to the last brick."
"My friends?" Ginny whispered. She felt Inara link a hand through hers in support, but she couldn't feel it. Her chest hurt, as if she was drowning again.
"Lady Granger charged the remnants with the task of saving the library and the knowledge of what happened to you. This we have done for five hundred years. Grafting ourselves to the Companions Guild was the safest alternative we had."
"Lady Granger?" Ginny asked, voice faint.
"A sarcastic title attributed to her that we have perpetuated in reverence," the sage replied. She went back to the massive desk and sat behind it. "She unfortunately did not survive the second onslaught against the Order."
She was going to collapse. That must be why Ginny's head was swimming.
"Magic died after the war ended, so really, there was no winner," the sage continued, oblivious to Ginny's discomfort. "Soon enough, hardly anyone could do magic."
Jayne pushed the floating book down into its pile. The sound was loud in the silence. "So now what, lady?" he asked, voice harsh. "You just about kicked her upside the head. Got any good news to share?"
"No."
Ginny looked up in a panic. "You have to send me back! I have to fix it! I have to change it!"
"I can't do that," the sage said, voice grave. "I'm sorry."
"You're lying," River said with certainty in the pained silence. "You're deliberately lying and you will help her return." She approached the desk with confident steps, eyes boring into the sage's frightened ones. "I know you. And you will help us."
The sage seemed to shrink inside herself. "Dear Buddha, it's not supposed to be true. You're supposed to be dead. You're not supposed to be here, this wasn't supposed to happen." She put her hands up in prayer and began to whisper.
"I know you," River repeated, hissing at the woman. Her face was a contorted mask of anger. "I know what you've done, what you can't hide from yourself. I know the lies you perpetuate to keep yourself in the gilded ivory tower. I know the secrets to relativity and connectivity. And you will help us. You will send her back to her own time so she can correct the mistakes made."
"There were none!" the sage replied, interrupting her prayers. "This is the way it was supposed to be!"
River's palm slammed down onto the tabletop with a reverberating crack. "No."
The sage shrank down further into herself. "I can't."
"You will."
Tears sprang to the old woman's eyes. "I can't alter the time stream..."
"You will send her back. You will correct the damage done in error. You will restore reality to the form it was meant to take."
"I..."
"You will," River said, voice brooking no argument. There was the weight of knowledge in her eyes, the appearance of stars and galaxies and pure infinity behind her.
The sage shrank down into herself. "I will."
***
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