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Draco walked gracefully back toward the bed, whisper-quiet in the dark bedroom. Running a finger lightly over her cheek, he stalked out of the room – his heavy robes hiding any movement in the still darkness.
Ginny watched him leave through half-lidded eyes. The light in the hallway outside flickered and then left her in utter darkness, sheets sticking unbearably to her skin, strands of hair suddenly making her skin itch where they hadn’t before.
She remained still for long moments, careful to breathe deeply – her eyes wide open, staring at the barely seen lines of the canopy above. Gradually, she turned her head, wincing at the crackle of the pillow’s movement beneath her.
The door hadn’t moved; the light was still off in the corridor. He’s gone.
She slid out from underneath the covers and put her bare feet on cold tiles. Making her way across the room around the mess of hastily discarded clothes, she wrapped her hands around the wrought iron handles of a dresser drawer.
Her stomach twisted and she swallowed. This upset her every time she did it – but it must be done. Carefully, she slid the drawer open. Facing her were innocently folded pairs of trousers and fine cashmere shirts. She bit her lip to fight a relieved laugh – Draco could never accustom himself to the everyday wear that she relished.
Yanking her tank top down over her exposed stomach in a final stalling gesture, she rifled through the clothes with nimble fingers.
Nothing, nothing, nothing… She mentally checked worries off her list as she sorted through the piles, left to right.
Then, her fingers touched a parchment. Damn. Please don’t let this be…
Taking a deep breath, she pulled the note out from under the sixth pile of trousers. She quickly read the elegant script, biting her lip so hard that her skin turned white. Gently, fingers trembling, she folded the letter and placed it back into its hiding spot.
She pushed the drawer shut and stood for a moment, staring at herself in the mirror. Her cheeks were flushed grey in the silver moonlight and her eyes gazed back at her, wide and white. This is wrong. She shook her head, breaking the trance and turned to the desk standing next to the bed.
She fumbled with a quill as she hurriedly wrote a note to Harry. Urging her owl from his perch, she tossed him out of the window, and slipped back under the sheets. Her eyes slid shut and she buried her nose in her pillow before slipping back into slumber.
The fire hissed and crackled, spitting furiously within the hearth. Ginny stared at the orange glow dancing across the wall, watching the delicate tendrils melt into each other. Taking a deep breath, she twisted in her spot to face the man silhouetted behind her in the firelight.
“Draco?” she whispered. “It’s early. Come to bed.”
She snaked her hand out under the covers to pat his side of the bed. He didn’t move.
“Draco?”
“What the hell is this, Ginny?” His voice was barely heard above the raging fire, but Ginny shuddered at the hostility in it.
He knows. A bubbling filled her stomach and her hands felt too light under the sheets. Every inch of her seemed to thrum in time with her heartbeat.
“Draco…” Her voice had a pleading tone that shamed her.
She crawled towards him, stopping when he visibly jerked to keep his distance from her. She glimpsed a note with Harry’s scrawl in his hands – his fingers pressed nearly white as they clutched it.
She looked away, fighting tears. You knew this was a possibility. You knew he could find out. All you have to do is explain…
Her stomach lurched as she saw the Death Eater mask sitting on the corner of the dresser. Suddenly, a raging hate filled her. That thing was why she had to search through his things nightly. That thing - the people behind it – had ruined so many lives.
“The Order can’t risk a betrayal by their spies, Draco. I had to do it. I know you are trustworthy – but they have to have evidence!”
Draco didn’t answer, simply tossed the letter towards her. It barely moved through the air, but she caught it, and Draco dodged her grasping hand as though it was a dagger.
She glanced at it quickly.
Ginny,
Communication with Narcissa Malfoy could be dangerous. I hate to turn on Malfoy after all he’s done – so just keep an eye on it…He hasn’t done anything wrong in all the time you’ve been checking on him. At the first sign of trouble, send me an owl.
Love,
Harry
She looked up, trying to meet his eyes, but Draco wouldn’t look at her.
“Draco, I had to do it – I couldn’t risk the deaths of people I loved.”
“You think I would kill them?”
The hurt in his voice hurt her more than anger could. “I couldn’t risk it.”
“Damn it, Ginny! What about me? Did you ever think that this could kill me?”
He tossed the letter in the fire, flames eating it hungrily. She winced.
“I see. You can’t risk them dying – but me…I can go to hell.”
“That’s not true, Draco!” Ginny yelled, temper flaring. “You have no right accusing me of not caring. I’m the only one who’s never carried a wand around you as a protective measure...I was just doing what I thought was right!”
Draco suddenly looked at her – the rage in his eyes made her cheeks burn. “I trusted you, Ginny. You didn’t carry a wand around me, and I opened my home to you. You did what you thought was right…by looking at letters I’m writing to my mother?”
“That’s not what I was doing!” Ginny yelled. “I was making sure you weren’t going to succumb to your friends and family allied with the Dark Lord!”
“Of course, I would do that. Right after I nearly died to save Potter’s skin,” said Draco sarcastically.
Ginny hissed, “You’re still pretending to be a Death Eater. Someone had to keep an eye on you to make sure that you weren’t dealing with Death Eaters as allies – and you are!”
“I swore to leave the Dark Lord behind. I killed my friends to protect the Order’s secrets – friends I had grown up with, who had helped me before you were here. I never promised to abandon my mother!” yelled Draco, suddenly standing up.
Ginny raised herself to her knees. If she stopped now, she would never forgive herself. I did what I had to do! It was right to do it! Guilt pooled in her throat.
“She’s a Death Eater, Draco, just like your friends - they don’t deserve to be helped!” Fleur’s face filled her vision for a brief, terrible second. They killed her. They killed my niece.
The gruesome recollection faded to leave Draco’s white face, his tense, angry stance. Draco tensed, and Ginny caught her breath. I was wrong. This is wrong. She stared at his pale face – he looked as though he had been punched – his eyes glittering, still.
“None of you lot have ever trusted me. I’m not Snape. But does what I say even matter?” Draco laughed bitterly.
“I’m one of them now?” Ginny couldn’t keep the hurt out of her voice.
Muscles rippled in Draco’s jaw. “Yes,” he bit out. “You’ve always been one of them. More the fool me to think that you were different.”
A sob ripped from her gut. She bit the inside of her cheek hard to keep from crying out. I refuse to plead with him. I was protecting my loved ones.
He stalked to the door and wrenched it open. “Get out,” he snarled.
Ginny glanced at him, wide-eyed. I don’t know what he’s capable of right now. I’ll…I’ll come back.
She walked past him out of the flat, head held high. She turned to face him.
“Draco, this –”
He stared at her icily. “Goodbye, Ginny. Tell Potter I said hello.”
Ginny reached a hand out instinctively. His eyes – he’s cornered. He’s never going to forgive
me if I don’t say something now--
The door slammed shut.
Ginny stormed out of the building, ears scarlet and heart pounding furiously.
Ginny limped towards the table, nursing her stubbed toe. Molly Weasley placed a warm plate in front of her and sat down herself.
“It’s been years since you tripped on the stairs, Ginny,” her mother said frankly.
Ginny slid the plate out of the way and put her head on the table. “Didn’t sleep much,” she muttered.
She felt a hand run through her hair and buried her nose further into the cradle of her arms. Her eyes slipped shut and then snapped wide open as she jerked upright. Grabbing the cup of coffee from the table, she took a long drink.
The aroma woke her up a bit, and she was no longer in danger of seeing his face – wouldn’t shut her eyes anymore.
Molly Weasley looked at her daughter with concern. She was tired – dark circle beneath her eyes, which were dilated and reddened.
“Ginny, you need to sleep. How about a Dreamless Sleep Potion?”
“Mom, I don’t need medicine. I’ll be fine. It’s not as though I haven’t gone through this before – you know how it is.”
No, I don’t. You’ve never been like this when Harry broke up with you. You’ve never fought with a man you actually love.
Molly admonished her daughter gently. “This is not the right way to go about fighting with him, Ginny. Dra-”
“Don’t say his name, Mum.” The broken whisper seemed only a breath away from tears, and Molly hastily stopped.
She’s more torn over this than I realized. Her daughter bit her lip and then seemed to shudder for a moment, before opening her eyes and smiling. The change in expression was almost eerie – but Molly could still sense the pain behind it.
You don’t have to hide from us. You might have had to with him, but never with us, dear. We’re family.
Ginny let her owl fly out of the window.
“Have I gotten any letters today?”
Molly stifled her urge to give advice. It would only distance her daughter from her.
“None at all.”
Ginny loped back up the stairs, and Molly turned back to her cooking, words on the tip of her tongue. Her daughter was hiding from her, and the only thing she could think of was ways to bring her back.
Ginny tied a letter to her owl and pushed it out into the open air.
“Have I gotten any letters today?”
Molly sighed. “No.”
She watched her daughter’s face nearly fall before being set in place like a mason would a wall.
“Alright, then.” Ginny pushed her chair back from the dining table.
Molly reached out a hand and grabbed hers. “Ginny, wait.”
“Yes, Mum?”
“It’s been days, love, since you came back to the Burrow. I just want to know what happened, dear. It’s keeping you up at night. Please let me help.”
Ginny shook her head. “I made a mistake. That’s all.”
Molly said softly, “Ginny, I know that boy Draco can be cruel sometimes; love can make you do strange things.”
Ginny snapped, “Honestly, Mum, do you think I’d stand for that? Draco isn’t hurting me! I was the one to make a mistake! I listened to Harry and checked up on Draco like he asked…I was the one to be caught sorting through his drawers.”
To her utter despair, she promptly burst into tears. Molly Weasley reined in her shock enough to envelop Ginny in a loving hug and murmur comforting snippets in her ear.
Gradually, the tears stopped. Ginny rubbed her eyes with her fingers and took a deep breath to stave off hiccups. She pulled away from her mother’s hug.
“It’s fine, Mum,” she said tiredly.
“No, it’s not, Ginny, if you’re like this. Have you talked to him?”
“I’ve been sending him owls ever day.” Ginny ran a hand through her hair. “I can’t see why he doesn’t understand this! I was doing it to make sure no one else died. He’d have done the same thing if he thought his mother was in danger.”
“Ginny, it took a lot of trust for him to let you into his home. It may not be Malfoy Manor – but he has lived in that flat for a long time, and it’s home to him.”
Ginny snapped, “I helped him get that flat!”
Molly shook her head. “I can see why you did it, love…” She smiled sadly. “That doesn’t make it right.”
“I know.” Ginny stalked out of the kitchen and grabbed her coat out of the closet. She threw it on, tying the belt of it around her waist with quick, savage motions.
“The least he could do is speak to me. If he’s not going to do that, I’m going to go see him.”
Draco opened the door and Ginny barely even thought before throwing herself on him. Her assault knocked them both backward into the flat. Even as Draco’s hands were steadying her by the waist, they were pushing her away to a safe distance.
“I’m sorry,” Ginny blurted. “I’m sorry, Draco – I’ve tried to tell you a hundred times but you aren’t answering my letters and –”
“I’ve read your letters.”
Draco took a step back and looked away from her. “Don’t look at me like that, Ginny. I –” He looked around the room, eyes falling on the dresser drawer. She was sorting through my clothes, like my word is something to be doubted.
“You shouldn’t be here, Ginny.” His hands squeezed the bedpost tightly as he fought against the instincts telling him to get her out of this room now.
“That’s not fair, Draco! If you aren’t going to answer my letters, how else can we fix this?”
“We can’t fix this. Ginny, do you even understand – no, you wouldn’t.” He spun to face her, grabbing her shoulders. “I came to the Order after the Dark Lord killed my father. No one here trusts me; I’m sure if you all hadn’t needed a spy so desperately, you would have never accepted me.”
Ginny opened her mouth to protest.
“Just be quiet for once, Ginny,” Draco snapped. “I’ve done everything right – given you crucial information, killed my friends to keep your secrets, saved people you love that don’t care about me.”
Ginny winced.
“Hermione,” screamed Ginny. “Watch out!”
Draco came up behind her. “Protego,” he whispered in her ear. Ginny’s neck tingled and her breath snagged inside her throat.
A blue shield deflected the curse coming at Hermione. She was so busy she didn’t even notice the attempt on her life.
“Weasley, if you’re going to see something like that, don’t be stupid and yell. Do something about it.”
His breath in her ear made her shiver. As he walked away, she nearly turned to face him. Instead, she pulled out her wand and watched resolutely.
“So how in hell does that give you the right to watch me as though I’ve betrayed you?” Draco’s voice was thick with rage.
Ginny shook her head. “We couldn’t be sure.”
Draco pulled out his wand and Ginny gasped. “Silencio,” he muttered, waving the wand in a circle around them.
Ginny felt the air thicken as the ward established itself.
He hissed, “This isn’t about ‘we,’ Ginny. This is about you – you and me. I don’t give a damn what Potter thinks of me – in fact, I know what he thinks of me. I don’t care that your mother thinks I’m going to be another Snape.”
He stiffened. “I shouldn’t have cared what you thought of me.”
Ginny bit her lip, fighting tears. You knew this was a possibility. You have to try.
“Draco, I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry for? Don’t you see, Ginny? This is okay for everyone. As long as I have this –” Ginny’s stomach lurched as Draco wrenched up his sleeve – “anything you do to me is acceptable.”
Ginny whispered, “My mum was on your side, you know.” She looked up and said a little louder, “I know I was wrong, Draco. We all make mistakes and I’m apologizing.”
Draco glared. “It’s not about that, Ginny! It must have been the isolation – but the way you believed in me after that battle where I saved Hermione – it made me believe you. I’ve never done that; I knew then it was stupid, but I did it anyway.”
Ginny shuddered, tears falling. I think I’ve ruined it.
Draco forced himself to not step toward her. No one in this War is on my side – not even her. I can’t open myself up to attack by being vulnerable.
“You thought it was fine to search through my things, because Potter told you to do it. You thought that because the Order couldn’t trust me, it was your job to help them. That means when it comes to me or the Order – you won’t help me.” Draco bit out the last words, because they hurt badly. “That means that you never did believe in me – only in what I had done once, many months ago.”
Ginny whispered, “That’s not true, Draco. I – I love you.”
Draco laughed. “Do you think I believe in that sentimental nonsense?” He gazed at Ginny. “The only thing that’s true in this world is trust.”
Ginny shook silently. Then, her eyes lit on the Death Eater mask. She suddenly felt angry once more.
“Draco, you’ve hurt people I know while that mask covers you. Then, you’re someone I don’t know. How can I trust in that?”
Draco shrugged. “I don’t know. All I know is that I let you stay here without wards or safeguards, which would have been so easy to put into place. I’ve saved your friends and your cause – and you still doubt me.”
“It wasn’t me!”
“It wasn’t? You were the one reporting to Potter, Ginny.”
“Draco, please!” Ginny was beyond anger now. I can’t lose him. I don’t know what I’ll do if he doesn’t let me…
Draco smirked for barely a moment. “A year ago, I would have given anything to have Ginny Weasley begging me for something.” His jaw clenched.
She searched his eyes and found nothing there. He seemed all angles and hard edges where before there had been humorous curves and protective streaks.
“Draco, I’ve shared everything with you. I’ve told you about the Chamber, about Tom, about how Harry drives me mad…” She laughed a bit desperately.
Draco shook his head. “I won’t tell your secrets, Ginny Weasley.” He shut his eyes. “Even now, it’s about the Order and what they’ll think of you, isn’t it?” His face hardened. “Get out.”
Ginny grabbed the mask and crushed it beneath her foot. Tears rolling down her face and hands shaking, she made her way towards the door. She turned again.
“Draco, don’t leave the Order. I do believe in you.”
He punched the wall with the side of his fist. “I’m not going anywhere, Ginny. I’ve picked my side.”
“I’m on your side, you know.”
“No. Ginny, you’ve picked their side. My side just happens to run alongside theirs – but we aren’t on the same side. We never have been, never will be.”
He pushed the door shut and jammed the lock shut. Sitting at his desk, he buried his head in his hands. Then, he sat up. Caught by a sudden feverish urge, he threw the dresser drawer open and grabbed handfuls of letters in Ginny’s handwriting.
I’m sorry…I’m sorry…I’m sorry… Growling in rage, he tossed them all in the fire.
Apologies mean nothing.
Ginny watched him leave through half-lidded eyes. The light in the hallway outside flickered and then left her in utter darkness, sheets sticking unbearably to her skin, strands of hair suddenly making her skin itch where they hadn’t before.
She remained still for long moments, careful to breathe deeply – her eyes wide open, staring at the barely seen lines of the canopy above. Gradually, she turned her head, wincing at the crackle of the pillow’s movement beneath her.
The door hadn’t moved; the light was still off in the corridor. He’s gone.
She slid out from underneath the covers and put her bare feet on cold tiles. Making her way across the room around the mess of hastily discarded clothes, she wrapped her hands around the wrought iron handles of a dresser drawer.
Her stomach twisted and she swallowed. This upset her every time she did it – but it must be done. Carefully, she slid the drawer open. Facing her were innocently folded pairs of trousers and fine cashmere shirts. She bit her lip to fight a relieved laugh – Draco could never accustom himself to the everyday wear that she relished.
Yanking her tank top down over her exposed stomach in a final stalling gesture, she rifled through the clothes with nimble fingers.
Nothing, nothing, nothing… She mentally checked worries off her list as she sorted through the piles, left to right.
Then, her fingers touched a parchment. Damn. Please don’t let this be…
Taking a deep breath, she pulled the note out from under the sixth pile of trousers. She quickly read the elegant script, biting her lip so hard that her skin turned white. Gently, fingers trembling, she folded the letter and placed it back into its hiding spot.
She pushed the drawer shut and stood for a moment, staring at herself in the mirror. Her cheeks were flushed grey in the silver moonlight and her eyes gazed back at her, wide and white. This is wrong. She shook her head, breaking the trance and turned to the desk standing next to the bed.
She fumbled with a quill as she hurriedly wrote a note to Harry. Urging her owl from his perch, she tossed him out of the window, and slipped back under the sheets. Her eyes slid shut and she buried her nose in her pillow before slipping back into slumber.
The fire hissed and crackled, spitting furiously within the hearth. Ginny stared at the orange glow dancing across the wall, watching the delicate tendrils melt into each other. Taking a deep breath, she twisted in her spot to face the man silhouetted behind her in the firelight.
“Draco?” she whispered. “It’s early. Come to bed.”
She snaked her hand out under the covers to pat his side of the bed. He didn’t move.
“Draco?”
“What the hell is this, Ginny?” His voice was barely heard above the raging fire, but Ginny shuddered at the hostility in it.
He knows. A bubbling filled her stomach and her hands felt too light under the sheets. Every inch of her seemed to thrum in time with her heartbeat.
“Draco…” Her voice had a pleading tone that shamed her.
She crawled towards him, stopping when he visibly jerked to keep his distance from her. She glimpsed a note with Harry’s scrawl in his hands – his fingers pressed nearly white as they clutched it.
She looked away, fighting tears. You knew this was a possibility. You knew he could find out. All you have to do is explain…
Her stomach lurched as she saw the Death Eater mask sitting on the corner of the dresser. Suddenly, a raging hate filled her. That thing was why she had to search through his things nightly. That thing - the people behind it – had ruined so many lives.
“The Order can’t risk a betrayal by their spies, Draco. I had to do it. I know you are trustworthy – but they have to have evidence!”
Draco didn’t answer, simply tossed the letter towards her. It barely moved through the air, but she caught it, and Draco dodged her grasping hand as though it was a dagger.
She glanced at it quickly.
Ginny,
Communication with Narcissa Malfoy could be dangerous. I hate to turn on Malfoy after all he’s done – so just keep an eye on it…He hasn’t done anything wrong in all the time you’ve been checking on him. At the first sign of trouble, send me an owl.
Love,
Harry
She looked up, trying to meet his eyes, but Draco wouldn’t look at her.
“Draco, I had to do it – I couldn’t risk the deaths of people I loved.”
“You think I would kill them?”
The hurt in his voice hurt her more than anger could. “I couldn’t risk it.”
“Damn it, Ginny! What about me? Did you ever think that this could kill me?”
He tossed the letter in the fire, flames eating it hungrily. She winced.
“I see. You can’t risk them dying – but me…I can go to hell.”
“That’s not true, Draco!” Ginny yelled, temper flaring. “You have no right accusing me of not caring. I’m the only one who’s never carried a wand around you as a protective measure...I was just doing what I thought was right!”
Draco suddenly looked at her – the rage in his eyes made her cheeks burn. “I trusted you, Ginny. You didn’t carry a wand around me, and I opened my home to you. You did what you thought was right…by looking at letters I’m writing to my mother?”
“That’s not what I was doing!” Ginny yelled. “I was making sure you weren’t going to succumb to your friends and family allied with the Dark Lord!”
“Of course, I would do that. Right after I nearly died to save Potter’s skin,” said Draco sarcastically.
Ginny hissed, “You’re still pretending to be a Death Eater. Someone had to keep an eye on you to make sure that you weren’t dealing with Death Eaters as allies – and you are!”
“I swore to leave the Dark Lord behind. I killed my friends to protect the Order’s secrets – friends I had grown up with, who had helped me before you were here. I never promised to abandon my mother!” yelled Draco, suddenly standing up.
Ginny raised herself to her knees. If she stopped now, she would never forgive herself. I did what I had to do! It was right to do it! Guilt pooled in her throat.
“She’s a Death Eater, Draco, just like your friends - they don’t deserve to be helped!” Fleur’s face filled her vision for a brief, terrible second. They killed her. They killed my niece.
The gruesome recollection faded to leave Draco’s white face, his tense, angry stance. Draco tensed, and Ginny caught her breath. I was wrong. This is wrong. She stared at his pale face – he looked as though he had been punched – his eyes glittering, still.
“None of you lot have ever trusted me. I’m not Snape. But does what I say even matter?” Draco laughed bitterly.
“I’m one of them now?” Ginny couldn’t keep the hurt out of her voice.
Muscles rippled in Draco’s jaw. “Yes,” he bit out. “You’ve always been one of them. More the fool me to think that you were different.”
A sob ripped from her gut. She bit the inside of her cheek hard to keep from crying out. I refuse to plead with him. I was protecting my loved ones.
He stalked to the door and wrenched it open. “Get out,” he snarled.
Ginny glanced at him, wide-eyed. I don’t know what he’s capable of right now. I’ll…I’ll come back.
She walked past him out of the flat, head held high. She turned to face him.
“Draco, this –”
He stared at her icily. “Goodbye, Ginny. Tell Potter I said hello.”
Ginny reached a hand out instinctively. His eyes – he’s cornered. He’s never going to forgive
me if I don’t say something now--
The door slammed shut.
Ginny stormed out of the building, ears scarlet and heart pounding furiously.
Ginny limped towards the table, nursing her stubbed toe. Molly Weasley placed a warm plate in front of her and sat down herself.
“It’s been years since you tripped on the stairs, Ginny,” her mother said frankly.
Ginny slid the plate out of the way and put her head on the table. “Didn’t sleep much,” she muttered.
She felt a hand run through her hair and buried her nose further into the cradle of her arms. Her eyes slipped shut and then snapped wide open as she jerked upright. Grabbing the cup of coffee from the table, she took a long drink.
The aroma woke her up a bit, and she was no longer in danger of seeing his face – wouldn’t shut her eyes anymore.
Molly Weasley looked at her daughter with concern. She was tired – dark circle beneath her eyes, which were dilated and reddened.
“Ginny, you need to sleep. How about a Dreamless Sleep Potion?”
“Mom, I don’t need medicine. I’ll be fine. It’s not as though I haven’t gone through this before – you know how it is.”
No, I don’t. You’ve never been like this when Harry broke up with you. You’ve never fought with a man you actually love.
Molly admonished her daughter gently. “This is not the right way to go about fighting with him, Ginny. Dra-”
“Don’t say his name, Mum.” The broken whisper seemed only a breath away from tears, and Molly hastily stopped.
She’s more torn over this than I realized. Her daughter bit her lip and then seemed to shudder for a moment, before opening her eyes and smiling. The change in expression was almost eerie – but Molly could still sense the pain behind it.
You don’t have to hide from us. You might have had to with him, but never with us, dear. We’re family.
Ginny let her owl fly out of the window.
“Have I gotten any letters today?”
Molly stifled her urge to give advice. It would only distance her daughter from her.
“None at all.”
Ginny loped back up the stairs, and Molly turned back to her cooking, words on the tip of her tongue. Her daughter was hiding from her, and the only thing she could think of was ways to bring her back.
Ginny tied a letter to her owl and pushed it out into the open air.
“Have I gotten any letters today?”
Molly sighed. “No.”
She watched her daughter’s face nearly fall before being set in place like a mason would a wall.
“Alright, then.” Ginny pushed her chair back from the dining table.
Molly reached out a hand and grabbed hers. “Ginny, wait.”
“Yes, Mum?”
“It’s been days, love, since you came back to the Burrow. I just want to know what happened, dear. It’s keeping you up at night. Please let me help.”
Ginny shook her head. “I made a mistake. That’s all.”
Molly said softly, “Ginny, I know that boy Draco can be cruel sometimes; love can make you do strange things.”
Ginny snapped, “Honestly, Mum, do you think I’d stand for that? Draco isn’t hurting me! I was the one to make a mistake! I listened to Harry and checked up on Draco like he asked…I was the one to be caught sorting through his drawers.”
To her utter despair, she promptly burst into tears. Molly Weasley reined in her shock enough to envelop Ginny in a loving hug and murmur comforting snippets in her ear.
Gradually, the tears stopped. Ginny rubbed her eyes with her fingers and took a deep breath to stave off hiccups. She pulled away from her mother’s hug.
“It’s fine, Mum,” she said tiredly.
“No, it’s not, Ginny, if you’re like this. Have you talked to him?”
“I’ve been sending him owls ever day.” Ginny ran a hand through her hair. “I can’t see why he doesn’t understand this! I was doing it to make sure no one else died. He’d have done the same thing if he thought his mother was in danger.”
“Ginny, it took a lot of trust for him to let you into his home. It may not be Malfoy Manor – but he has lived in that flat for a long time, and it’s home to him.”
Ginny snapped, “I helped him get that flat!”
Molly shook her head. “I can see why you did it, love…” She smiled sadly. “That doesn’t make it right.”
“I know.” Ginny stalked out of the kitchen and grabbed her coat out of the closet. She threw it on, tying the belt of it around her waist with quick, savage motions.
“The least he could do is speak to me. If he’s not going to do that, I’m going to go see him.”
Draco opened the door and Ginny barely even thought before throwing herself on him. Her assault knocked them both backward into the flat. Even as Draco’s hands were steadying her by the waist, they were pushing her away to a safe distance.
“I’m sorry,” Ginny blurted. “I’m sorry, Draco – I’ve tried to tell you a hundred times but you aren’t answering my letters and –”
“I’ve read your letters.”
Draco took a step back and looked away from her. “Don’t look at me like that, Ginny. I –” He looked around the room, eyes falling on the dresser drawer. She was sorting through my clothes, like my word is something to be doubted.
“You shouldn’t be here, Ginny.” His hands squeezed the bedpost tightly as he fought against the instincts telling him to get her out of this room now.
“That’s not fair, Draco! If you aren’t going to answer my letters, how else can we fix this?”
“We can’t fix this. Ginny, do you even understand – no, you wouldn’t.” He spun to face her, grabbing her shoulders. “I came to the Order after the Dark Lord killed my father. No one here trusts me; I’m sure if you all hadn’t needed a spy so desperately, you would have never accepted me.”
Ginny opened her mouth to protest.
“Just be quiet for once, Ginny,” Draco snapped. “I’ve done everything right – given you crucial information, killed my friends to keep your secrets, saved people you love that don’t care about me.”
Ginny winced.
“Hermione,” screamed Ginny. “Watch out!”
Draco came up behind her. “Protego,” he whispered in her ear. Ginny’s neck tingled and her breath snagged inside her throat.
A blue shield deflected the curse coming at Hermione. She was so busy she didn’t even notice the attempt on her life.
“Weasley, if you’re going to see something like that, don’t be stupid and yell. Do something about it.”
His breath in her ear made her shiver. As he walked away, she nearly turned to face him. Instead, she pulled out her wand and watched resolutely.
“So how in hell does that give you the right to watch me as though I’ve betrayed you?” Draco’s voice was thick with rage.
Ginny shook her head. “We couldn’t be sure.”
Draco pulled out his wand and Ginny gasped. “Silencio,” he muttered, waving the wand in a circle around them.
Ginny felt the air thicken as the ward established itself.
He hissed, “This isn’t about ‘we,’ Ginny. This is about you – you and me. I don’t give a damn what Potter thinks of me – in fact, I know what he thinks of me. I don’t care that your mother thinks I’m going to be another Snape.”
He stiffened. “I shouldn’t have cared what you thought of me.”
Ginny bit her lip, fighting tears. You knew this was a possibility. You have to try.
“Draco, I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry for? Don’t you see, Ginny? This is okay for everyone. As long as I have this –” Ginny’s stomach lurched as Draco wrenched up his sleeve – “anything you do to me is acceptable.”
Ginny whispered, “My mum was on your side, you know.” She looked up and said a little louder, “I know I was wrong, Draco. We all make mistakes and I’m apologizing.”
Draco glared. “It’s not about that, Ginny! It must have been the isolation – but the way you believed in me after that battle where I saved Hermione – it made me believe you. I’ve never done that; I knew then it was stupid, but I did it anyway.”
Ginny shuddered, tears falling. I think I’ve ruined it.
Draco forced himself to not step toward her. No one in this War is on my side – not even her. I can’t open myself up to attack by being vulnerable.
“You thought it was fine to search through my things, because Potter told you to do it. You thought that because the Order couldn’t trust me, it was your job to help them. That means when it comes to me or the Order – you won’t help me.” Draco bit out the last words, because they hurt badly. “That means that you never did believe in me – only in what I had done once, many months ago.”
Ginny whispered, “That’s not true, Draco. I – I love you.”
Draco laughed. “Do you think I believe in that sentimental nonsense?” He gazed at Ginny. “The only thing that’s true in this world is trust.”
Ginny shook silently. Then, her eyes lit on the Death Eater mask. She suddenly felt angry once more.
“Draco, you’ve hurt people I know while that mask covers you. Then, you’re someone I don’t know. How can I trust in that?”
Draco shrugged. “I don’t know. All I know is that I let you stay here without wards or safeguards, which would have been so easy to put into place. I’ve saved your friends and your cause – and you still doubt me.”
“It wasn’t me!”
“It wasn’t? You were the one reporting to Potter, Ginny.”
“Draco, please!” Ginny was beyond anger now. I can’t lose him. I don’t know what I’ll do if he doesn’t let me…
Draco smirked for barely a moment. “A year ago, I would have given anything to have Ginny Weasley begging me for something.” His jaw clenched.
She searched his eyes and found nothing there. He seemed all angles and hard edges where before there had been humorous curves and protective streaks.
“Draco, I’ve shared everything with you. I’ve told you about the Chamber, about Tom, about how Harry drives me mad…” She laughed a bit desperately.
Draco shook his head. “I won’t tell your secrets, Ginny Weasley.” He shut his eyes. “Even now, it’s about the Order and what they’ll think of you, isn’t it?” His face hardened. “Get out.”
Ginny grabbed the mask and crushed it beneath her foot. Tears rolling down her face and hands shaking, she made her way towards the door. She turned again.
“Draco, don’t leave the Order. I do believe in you.”
He punched the wall with the side of his fist. “I’m not going anywhere, Ginny. I’ve picked my side.”
“I’m on your side, you know.”
“No. Ginny, you’ve picked their side. My side just happens to run alongside theirs – but we aren’t on the same side. We never have been, never will be.”
He pushed the door shut and jammed the lock shut. Sitting at his desk, he buried his head in his hands. Then, he sat up. Caught by a sudden feverish urge, he threw the dresser drawer open and grabbed handfuls of letters in Ginny’s handwriting.
I’m sorry…I’m sorry…I’m sorry… Growling in rage, he tossed them all in the fire.
Apologies mean nothing.
The End.
kumydabookworm is the author of 5 other stories.
This story is a favorite of 7 members. Members who liked Letters in the Fire also liked 408 other stories.
This story is a favorite of 7 members. Members who liked Letters in the Fire also liked 408 other stories.
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