Author’s Note: I hope you all had wonderful holidays, and now that we’re back to the real world as well as writing, here’s what I worked on over the break. Many thanks to Embellished, who’s always rushing to get me edits. Those of you who continue to review are so appreciated; every one of them really makes me smile.

Chapter 11: This Heartbreak World


The shadows creeping up the walls of the living room loomed over Ginny as she sunk farther into the couch. She plucked at her nightgown nervously, turning over yet again in hopes of finding a more comfortable position.

A thick, heavy darkness ate away at the room, surrounding and choking her. She supposed it was fair punishment for abandoning her bedroom in favor of spending the night on the couch. While the tense stillness of the lounge was uncomfortable, the very idea of spending a night curled up along the edge of her and Draco’s bed, trying to avoid even accidental touches, made her physically sick.

He had stared her down with piercing eyes and she had quailed under such an intense glare. Visibly trembling, she fled to Lily’s bedroom, only to curl up among her daughter’s stuffed animals and cry.

She wouldn’t have been able to confront him when he finally retired to their bedroom, so she stole into the room and grabbed her night things and curled up in the lounge, hoping to capture a few hours of sleep before having to face that severe stare again.

Her plan, at that point, had failed, because three hours later, she was pressed into the back of the couch, wide awake and still trembling.

“It's been like ... like something out of someone else's life, these last few weeks with you…” Harry had said it so simply, with heartbreaking, bittersweet honesty at Dumbledore’s funeral, and she had believed him. Oh, she had believed him. Even if it had been stupidly noble, even if he had given up on them after those perfect, beautiful weeks, she had believed him.

“I – er – oh, bugger. This is coming out all wrong. I guess I was just wondering…if you’d marry me?” She remembered him shoving his fingers through his hair and fumbling with slow fingers for the tiny black box in his pocket. She remembered throwing her arms around him and laughing through tears, so ridiculously happy to just be his – to be Harry’s.

“Ginny, dear, listen to me. Sometimes we make mistakes. At the time they seem like the right thing to do, because we’re upset or bored or angry. But they are mistakes, nonetheless. It would be best if you talked to Harry, dear. He misses you. You know that is the right thing to do.” Molly had said it so slowly, with gentle understanding, and Ginny had looked at her with disgust, slapping her hand away and scrambling to leave, tugging Lily with her.

Ginny twisted to her other side on the couch, not bothering to wipe away the solitary tear slipping down her cheek. At the time, she had been so angry she could have reached out and smacked her mother across the face. But now…

Harry hadn’t given her the life she’d wanted. She had been bored and depressed and in a state of simple existence, but she had never felt openly miserable. She had never ached with her whole heart as she did now, not until she had stumbled across Draco in Prague. Not until he had shown her what it felt like to be loved so completely and to love completely in return.

Even after their flawless months in Paris, she had found it possible to bury her regrets and face life as Mrs. Potter. But in Prague, she had discovered it would be impossible to walk away from such a love more than once.

“You’re nothing but a slag! Some bitch Malfoy found in Paris as an easy piece of arse, and you tell me Lily’s his? I bet you begged him to screw you. Begged him like the cheap tart you are!” His eyes had shown such a ferocious shade of green, and he had paced and raged and spit like he was mad beyond belief. All while she cried and sobbed on the couch, screaming for him to stop, just to stop…

Her body shook with sobs now, aching with everything she had, because he was right. She had done horrible things – made horrible decisions – in her life. She had hurt two men beyond repair, trampling over them toward her own happiness without a care in the world. She had thought she did the right thing in Paris, by leaving Draco so Harry could be with his child, but in the end, it had just been another one of her mistakes.

Harry might not have lavished her with attention, but he had loved her. And Draco – Draco had overwhelmed her with something so much greater than love.

“I know what’s important. I know where you’re ticklish. I know your favorite books and foods and what makes you happy.

Draco had bothered to know her. He had bothered to hold her and tell her things just to see her smile. That, in itself, had been frightening. The thought of being known and loved for exactly who and what she was had terrified Ginny, because to accept it meant she was invested, and would be hurt beyond repair if things didn’t work out. Draco’s feelings had scared her beyond imagination, but they had freed her once she had accepted them.

She wanted so much to give him the same thing. Her entire being was quivering with a need to hold him and kiss away his demons. If only he’d let her.

Still shaking, Ginny rose from the couch, accepting that there would be no sleep tonight. She stood for a moment, feet bouncing with pent up energy, before rushing with decisiveness into the foyer. She grabbed her cloak from the stand and slipped out the front door and into the night.

***

“I’m really sorry about this,” Ginny said in a small voice, tucking her legs beneath her as she settled into the chair.

George waved away her apology, still fussing with something on the stove. When he appeared to be satisfied, he turned back to her and slid into the opposite chair. “Don’t worry about it, Gin.” He leaned forward and rested his chin on his folded hands, looking at her with those deep blue eyes, almost as if he could see through her.

“But, I mean, Angelina’s sleeping isn’t she? I haven’t woken her up?” Ginny stammered nervously.

George chuckled. “No, I’m afraid she’s gone for good when she falls asleep.” He smiled widely, and Ginny couldn’t help but marvel on how happy his wife had made him in the past two years. “But I’m enjoying it while I can. I daresay in a couple of months she won’t be falling asleep as easily.” His eyes twinkled as Ginny gasped and leaned across the table to hug him.

“George!” she exclaimed, eyes tearing a little. “She’s pregnant?”

He laughed shyly. “Yeah, she is. And you’re the first one I’ve told, so please keep it to yourself until I get the courage to tell Mum.”

Ginny sobered at this, falling back into her chair. George’s face fell. “I’m sorry, Gin. I forgot.”

“Yeah – I – don’t worry about it. It’s not your fault,” she sniffed.

He reached across the table and laid his hand over hers, rubbing it comfortingly. He let her sniffle for a few minutes before clearing his throat. “Why are you here, Ginny? I know you could have gotten Lily in the morning.”

She gave him a watery smile. “I’m sorry, George. I’m sorry I had to leave her with you. It’s just that – people were out there, and Draco…”

“Yeah, I know. I saw,” he replied softly, rising from his chair and moving back to the stove. “Go on.”

“Things have been…hard, I guess you would say. It’s difficult for Draco to be back in England.”

George nodded, taking something off the stove and pouring it into mugs.

“But it’s right for us to be here, because it’s Lily’s home, but I just can’t-” Tears were falling now, and she brushed them away impatiently. Her whole body shook, and to her brother she must look insane because she couldn’t get a full thought out. She didn’t even know what she was thinking.

“I can’t…I can’t do this, George,” she gasped. “I can’t.”

He set the mugs of steaming hot chocolate on the table and pulled her to her feet and into a hug. She cried heavily on his shoulder, beating her fists against his chest, as he stroked her hair and hugged her close.

“Gin,” he whispered, pulling back to look at her. “Ginny, listen to me. Here, drink this.” They sat down again, and he pushed the cup of warm liquid into her hands.

“Ginny, this is going to be hard. You’ve chosen the harder path. You could have stayed with Harry-” He held up a hand to stop her spluttering objection. “It would have been crap, and you would have been unhappy, but you could have done it. You chose Draco.”

He paused and looked at her with raised eyebrows as if daring her to object.

“You know, I miss my fierce, fiery baby sister. Last weekend, they all yelled at you and told you terrible things, and you just sat there and took it. You let them fill your head with all sorts of sodding nonsense and doubt. You made this choice, yes, but from what I can see, you’re not fighting for it, Gin. You’ve got to fight for what you want.”

She smiled through the sheen of tears coating her face and leapt up to hug him again. She laughed because he was right. She would have to fight for her family and her marriage and her daughter. She would fight for it all.

***

The sun was rising on the other side of the towering house, illuminating it from behind so that it looked almost holy as Ginny stared up at it. The golden morning rays streamed over the sloping rooftops and caused the windowpanes to sparkle beautifully.

Her grip on the little wooden gate tightened. She kicked at the dirt with the toe of her boot, swaying a little on the spot. Past the gate, she could see that the late spring flowers were blooming beautifully, dotting the wild garden with color.

Her knuckles were white as she held firmly to the gate, but she breathed in deeply and pushed it open, striding across the little yard.

The kitchen smelled of sausage and porridge as she walked through the door. She closed it behind her firmly and removed her cloak, hanging it on the back of a chair. Out of habit, she checked the magical clock, hugging herself tightly at the sight of Fred’s hand pointed toward “Lost.”

Sighing heavily, she sunk into one of the kitchen chairs. She tapped her fingers in time to the ticking of the clock, twirling a strand of red hair around her finger as she waited.

There was a thundering of footsteps and Ginny looked up to see her mother bouncing into the kitchen, her flyaway red hair looking slightly frizzed. She turned back to the staircase and hollered, “And Ronald Weasley, you can just find another place to spend the night the next time your wife kicks you out of the house! Humph.”

She spun around again and gave a little scream when she caught sight of Ginny sitting in her kitchen.

“Ginevra Potter! What are you thinking, just-?”

“It’s Ginevra Malfoy now, Mum,” Ginny said firmly, rising to her feet. In her high heeled boots, she towered a good seven inches over her mother, but when Molly puffed up angrily, she cringed inwardly.

“I’m well aware, missy. What are you doing here?” she said crossly, brushing past Ginny to the stove.

“I’m here to tell you that I am married to Draco now, Mum, and I am going to stay married to him. I was never happy with Harry, and if you would have opened your eyes for two seconds you would have seen that,” she ground the words out angrily, her eyes hard and flashing.

“Are you quite through?” Molly sniffed over the pan of sausage.

“No, I am not through! It hurts, Mum, it really hurts that you care more about Ron’s best mate than you do your own daughter. I was miserable with Harry, Mum. And all you cared about was getting me back together with him. I love Draco. I choose him. And if you can’t accept that, then you can’t accept me.”

She rubbed her eye fiercely, swallowing tears. There would be no crying for this.

“Did you ever stop to think, Ginevra, that maybe I wasn’t looking out for Harry’s interests? That maybe I was concerned about your children?” Molly slammed the frying pan down into the sink and whipped around angrily, her own eyes blazing hard.

“Lily is happy, Mother!” Ginny shouted furiously. “I have never seen her as happy as when she’s with Draco.”

“She’s did seem so happy last weekend,” Molly retorted, wiping her hands on her apron frantically.

“I don’t know what you said to the boys, but they were happy when I wrote to them in the winter.”

“They didn’t know any better!” Molly shouted. “You didn’t tell them the truth, and so I did. That their mother ran off with their father’s worst enemy who fathered their baby sister.”

Ginny breathed heavily, seething. “You had absolutely no right to tell them that. I was waiting for the right time to say something, so that they would understand. They tortured Lily, Mum, and you caused that! I can’t believe – I’m just appalled, you just-” She broke off, slamming her fist down on the table. “Why can’t you accept that what I’m doing is the best for everyone? I’m doing the best I can!”

“You are hurting more people than you are helping, Ginevra,” Molly replied stiffly.

“What about everyone you’re hurting? You’ve hurt the boys, Lily, Draco – you’ve hurt me, Mum! Your own daughter!”

“I did what I thought was best.”

“And so did I!” Ginny said furiously, biting back a scream. “So am I. If you can’t accept that, I’m sorry. I just want you to know where I stand.”

They both looked up as Ron stumbled into the kitchen with bleary eyes and wild hair. “Mum, what’s all the shouting-?” He stopped suddenly, looking wide-eyed at Ginny. “Oh,” he snarled. “It’s you.” He turned around and marched back up the stairs.

Ginny laughed bitterly. “And on that note,” she said, shrugging. She grabbed her cloak and strode toward the door. She paused with her hand on the knob and turned back to see Molly gazing intently at her. She gripped the knob more firmly, and Molly’s grim frown became even more prominent. “This is my decision, and if that is yours so be it. Goodbye, Mother.”

***

She burst into the bedroom and waved her wand at the lights. The bed was unmade but empty, and she stood staring at it, bewildered, for a solid two minutes.

“Draco?” Ginny called nervously. She leaned into the bathroom, teetering in her boots slightly, but it was also still.

She rushed back into the corridor, her strides punctuated by the click of her heels, looking briefly in Scorpius’s and Lily’s rooms. “Draco?”

She pushed open the study door, and there he was, curled up in his armchair with not a drink, but a picture. “Draco!” she exclaimed happily, curious relief flooding into her chest.

He looked up hazily, his eyes unfocused and dull. She rushed across the room but stopped before his chair, oddly hesitant under his groggy gaze. But she shoved past that and fell into his arms, kissing his face all over, deliriously happy to just be near him.

He grabbed her roughly by the arms and pulled her back. He tilted his head, confused. “Ginny, what-?”

“I did it,” she whispered happily, holding his face between her hands. “I told my mother it’s you and only you. We don’t have to go out or do anything. Because we’re here, you and me, and I love you. This is good enough for me. This is just perfect.”

He gathered her back into his arms and kissed her. She knew there were still troubles waiting for them. She couldn’t stay away from her family for too long, because neither could Lily. And his demons couldn’t be kept at bay any longer. But they would deal with them together. They would face them head on.

Author notes: Reviews are really appreciated, as you guys have figured out by now. So please leave one. :)

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