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"How many times do I have to apologize, Professor Snape? I did not mean for this to happen to Filch! You really should see to him now."
"You will apologize as many times as I tell you to, Mr. Malfoy, and I don't care if you think that Malfoys don't apologize for anything."
"I don't think that, Sir. It's a fact."
"..."
"Well, it is!"
"..."
"Don't look at me like I have a scar on my forehead!"
"Mr. Malfoy. If you don't want me to give you a detention for the rest of the term, then I suggest you tell me what happened."
"But you really should go and see to Filch!"
"Tell me what happened."
"But—"
"Now!"
"Okay! Well, I was going to meet Gi— a... girl by the statue of Eddard the Headless after I finished patrolling the dungeons, and—"
"A girl?"
"Yes."
"Reeeaaalllyyy."
"Yes. A girl. I do not swing the other way."
"..."
"I do not!"
"Mr. Malfoy, do lower your voice. I did not imply anything about your... sexual preference. I was just surprised that you had to arrange a... rendezvous outside the Common Room."
"Ah. That's because she is not allowed in the Slytherin Common Room."
"She's from another House?"
"Obviously."
"Hmmm."
"And don't be daft. Who arranges a… what did you call it? A romantic rendezvous in the Common Room? Maybe that's why you don't have a—"
"Get on with the story!"
"Alright! Touchy. So, I was going to meet her when I ran into Filch. He asked me why I wasn't in the dungeons patrolling. I told him I was a Prefect and that I had every right to go wherever I wanted. He threatened to report me, but I was worried that Gi— ummm... the girl... might not wait around for me if I arrived too late, so I ignored him."
"And you went to see the girl."
"Yes."
"..."
"I assure you, she's a girl."
"Carry on."
"When I reached Eddard, indeed, she was already there. We headed for the Astronomy Tower, and—"
*cough*
"What now?"
"..."
"Well, it's quiet up there; it's a good place to talk."
"Talk?"
"Yes."
"..."
"We were just going to talk!"
"Don't raise your voice at me, Mr. Malfoy. Once again, you assume I'm implying something inappropriate."
"But your eyebrows were—"
"Get on with it!"
"When we reached the stairwell to the Tower, we ran into Mrs. Norris this time. I think it was actually standing guard there, waiting for students who are trying to sneak around. I swear, Filch and his bloody cat have it in for everyone in this school who's even remotely in love."
"Huh."
"I mean..."
"..."
"Uh..."
"..."
"Everyone who's attempting a rendezvous, that is, and..."
"Right."
"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!"
"I really don't, Mr. Malfoy. As you so conveniently chided me earlier, I apparently do not know anything about romance. And how many times must I remind you not to shout? The dungeon walls make anyone who raises his voice sound like the Bandon Banshee."
"I DO NOT SOUND LIKE THE BANDON BANSHEE!"
"..."
"Ow. You're right."
"You were saying?"
"Uh, yes. The cat. It snarled at us and ran away to report to Filch. But I wasn't about to get caught or have my evening ruined, so I cast Petrificus Totalus."
"You what?"
"I petrified the cat, Professor."
"I know what Petrificus Totalus does, Mr. Malfoy! You are not allowed to cast spells in the hallways!"
"Technically, we were in the stairwell going up to the Astronomy Tower."
"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!"
"Bandon Banshee."
"Gaaaah!"
"I think I should just continue the story."
"..."
"But before I do, I would just like to remind you that I don't have a scar on my forehead. You're glaring at me again as if I'm Potter."
"Get on with it!"
"Right. I truly did not want to ruin my evening, because it's difficult enough trying to find some time alone with... the girl. I wanted to make sure that once the Petrify spell wears off, it wouldn't be easy for Mrs. Norris to find Filch to report me. So, I told my companion that we will be making a side trip."
"And where would the ultimate destination of this lovely little excursion be?"
"The Room of Requirement."
"Huh."
"When we got there, I asked for it to turn into the Room of Lost Things so we can find a nice, secluded place to leave the cat. I found a giant rusty cauldron in a corner and tossed Mrs. Norris inside. Unfortunately, Filch apparently saw us and followed us."
"And the girl just went along with all of this?"
"Ah. Not exactly."
"What, you petrified her, too, and dragged her along?"
"Of course, not! She was worried because it was getting late, and she did not approve of my petrifying Mrs. Norris. She… lectured me from the Tower all the way to the Room of Requirement."
"Is that right?"
"I wouldn't be surprised if it was her damned mouth that brought Filch down on us. She was... annoyed."
"Annoyed?"
"Okay, more like very angry."
"Good."
"Good?"
"It's nice to see that your girlfriend is capable of standing up to you."
"She's not my—"
"Not your what?"
"My— Never mind. So... We hid behind an armoire, and waited for Filch to move further into the Room. And because the Universe apparently hates me, it decided that the Petrify spell would wear off just then. We could hear Mrs. Norris scratching and meowing from inside the cauldron. Filch ran over to help her out, so we made for the door. Unfortunately—"
"Will this idiocy never end?"
"You wanted the whole story!"
"A mistake, obviously."
"You—"
"Go on!"
"There's a rogue magician's wand in the Room. You know, the kind that Muggles use for their so-called magic shows? Obviously, this one was charmed by a wizard, and the wand—"
"A rogue wand? And how do you know about Muggle magician's wands?"
"Just because I don't tolerate Muggles doesn't mean I don't know anything about them."
"And you're telling me that you've been rifling around the Room of Requirement?"
"Do you still want to know what happened to Filch?"
"Don't think we've finished discussing these excursions of yours. Go on."
"IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!"
"Banshee!"
*growl*
"Filch?"
"Fine! The rogue wand flies around the Room casting some kind of transfiguration spell on random objects. I tried to dispel the charms on it once, but nothing worked—maybe that's why it was cast into the Room of Lost Things in the first place. It flew over Filch just as he managed to climb into the cauldron, and it turned him into a fluffy pink rabbit."
"Oh, Merlin..."
"And Mrs. Norris being, well, Mrs. Norris, she attempted to, ah, catch the rabbit. The situation looked like it might get out of hand, so we decided to ask for help. We didn't know who else to call—or at least, who would dock us the least number of House Points—so I decided to come to you."
"It's good that you did. You'd have lost Slytherin a hundred points if you'd run to Minerva."
"Why would I run to McGonagall?"
"Maybe your girlfriend would have."
"She's not— but— how—"
"Mr. Malfoy."
"What?"
"I'll go and see Mr. Filch now. Where did you bring him?"
"Bring him? We didn't. That's why I'm here. It was difficult to climb that cauld—"
"WHAT? Why didn't you tell me he was still in there?"
"Professor, I tried, but you said you wanted to hear the story."
"Damn it! Mr. Malfoy, escort Ms. Weasley back to Gryffindor Tower and get back to your dormitory! I will go deal with Filch, if he hasn't been reduced to ribbons by his cat yet!"
"It's not Weas— Wait, how did you know it's—"
"I also know she's standing outside this room, listening."
"But—"
"GO!"
—
"I told you Snape would cover for me."
"Hah! Please. Don't be so sure about that. This isn't over."
"You heard him."
"I did. You have no idea what I had to do to make sure he won't hear me laughing from out here. But, yes, this isn't over."
"Well, our evening is, unfortunately. Come on. You heard him—I should go walk you to your Tower."
"I heard you too, you know."
"Heard what?"
"You said something about people who are remotely in love."
"Gin..."
"I heard you."
"..."
"Are you going to deny it?"
"No, I'm not. But... no matter how I feel, you do know that it will take a miracle for the world around us and for my destiny to change."
"I know. You may not tell me, but I can feel that something is weighing down on you. I don't know how we're going to deal with whatever this is, eventually, but before I even think about the future, I just want you to be honest about what's been happening between us."
"You heard me."
"Draco..."
"Alright, I care about you. Damn it, I think I've even gone as far as falling in love with you. But this changes nothing, Gin. I'm crazy to dare to dream that I can figure out how to keep us away from what my father and the Dark Lord expects of me. I don't even know if I'll be able to protect you from—"
"Shhhhh. Stop! I said the only thing that I want to know right now is how you really feel. We can talk about everything else some other time. Snape did say you should walk me to Gryffindor Tower now, remember?"
"But—"
"Draco, please. Leave it for now."
"Listen to me! I can't be what Potter can be for you. I don't have a bloody scar on my forehead! I am not The Boy Who Lived."
"No, Draco, you're not. But you are The Boy Who Dared to Love Me, and for now, that's all that matters."
"I—"
"You are also The Boy Who Dared To Petrify Mrs. Norris, and if we don't leave now, you shall also be crowned The Boy Who Will Serve Detention With A Furious Fluffy Pink Rabbit After Losing Slytherin 100 House Points."
"Yes, we'd better go. But not before I find out how to win the title The Boy That Ginny Weasley Is In Love With. There must be something I can hold over Potter."
"Why bother? You're already wearing that crown."
"You will apologize as many times as I tell you to, Mr. Malfoy, and I don't care if you think that Malfoys don't apologize for anything."
"I don't think that, Sir. It's a fact."
"..."
"Well, it is!"
"..."
"Don't look at me like I have a scar on my forehead!"
"Mr. Malfoy. If you don't want me to give you a detention for the rest of the term, then I suggest you tell me what happened."
"But you really should go and see to Filch!"
"Tell me what happened."
"But—"
"Now!"
"Okay! Well, I was going to meet Gi— a... girl by the statue of Eddard the Headless after I finished patrolling the dungeons, and—"
"A girl?"
"Yes."
"Reeeaaalllyyy."
"Yes. A girl. I do not swing the other way."
"..."
"I do not!"
"Mr. Malfoy, do lower your voice. I did not imply anything about your... sexual preference. I was just surprised that you had to arrange a... rendezvous outside the Common Room."
"Ah. That's because she is not allowed in the Slytherin Common Room."
"She's from another House?"
"Obviously."
"Hmmm."
"And don't be daft. Who arranges a… what did you call it? A romantic rendezvous in the Common Room? Maybe that's why you don't have a—"
"Get on with the story!"
"Alright! Touchy. So, I was going to meet her when I ran into Filch. He asked me why I wasn't in the dungeons patrolling. I told him I was a Prefect and that I had every right to go wherever I wanted. He threatened to report me, but I was worried that Gi— ummm... the girl... might not wait around for me if I arrived too late, so I ignored him."
"And you went to see the girl."
"Yes."
"..."
"I assure you, she's a girl."
"Carry on."
"When I reached Eddard, indeed, she was already there. We headed for the Astronomy Tower, and—"
*cough*
"What now?"
"..."
"Well, it's quiet up there; it's a good place to talk."
"Talk?"
"Yes."
"..."
"We were just going to talk!"
"Don't raise your voice at me, Mr. Malfoy. Once again, you assume I'm implying something inappropriate."
"But your eyebrows were—"
"Get on with it!"
"When we reached the stairwell to the Tower, we ran into Mrs. Norris this time. I think it was actually standing guard there, waiting for students who are trying to sneak around. I swear, Filch and his bloody cat have it in for everyone in this school who's even remotely in love."
"Huh."
"I mean..."
"..."
"Uh..."
"..."
"Everyone who's attempting a rendezvous, that is, and..."
"Right."
"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!"
"I really don't, Mr. Malfoy. As you so conveniently chided me earlier, I apparently do not know anything about romance. And how many times must I remind you not to shout? The dungeon walls make anyone who raises his voice sound like the Bandon Banshee."
"I DO NOT SOUND LIKE THE BANDON BANSHEE!"
"..."
"Ow. You're right."
"You were saying?"
"Uh, yes. The cat. It snarled at us and ran away to report to Filch. But I wasn't about to get caught or have my evening ruined, so I cast Petrificus Totalus."
"You what?"
"I petrified the cat, Professor."
"I know what Petrificus Totalus does, Mr. Malfoy! You are not allowed to cast spells in the hallways!"
"Technically, we were in the stairwell going up to the Astronomy Tower."
"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!"
"Bandon Banshee."
"Gaaaah!"
"I think I should just continue the story."
"..."
"But before I do, I would just like to remind you that I don't have a scar on my forehead. You're glaring at me again as if I'm Potter."
"Get on with it!"
"Right. I truly did not want to ruin my evening, because it's difficult enough trying to find some time alone with... the girl. I wanted to make sure that once the Petrify spell wears off, it wouldn't be easy for Mrs. Norris to find Filch to report me. So, I told my companion that we will be making a side trip."
"And where would the ultimate destination of this lovely little excursion be?"
"The Room of Requirement."
"Huh."
"When we got there, I asked for it to turn into the Room of Lost Things so we can find a nice, secluded place to leave the cat. I found a giant rusty cauldron in a corner and tossed Mrs. Norris inside. Unfortunately, Filch apparently saw us and followed us."
"And the girl just went along with all of this?"
"Ah. Not exactly."
"What, you petrified her, too, and dragged her along?"
"Of course, not! She was worried because it was getting late, and she did not approve of my petrifying Mrs. Norris. She… lectured me from the Tower all the way to the Room of Requirement."
"Is that right?"
"I wouldn't be surprised if it was her damned mouth that brought Filch down on us. She was... annoyed."
"Annoyed?"
"Okay, more like very angry."
"Good."
"Good?"
"It's nice to see that your girlfriend is capable of standing up to you."
"She's not my—"
"Not your what?"
"My— Never mind. So... We hid behind an armoire, and waited for Filch to move further into the Room. And because the Universe apparently hates me, it decided that the Petrify spell would wear off just then. We could hear Mrs. Norris scratching and meowing from inside the cauldron. Filch ran over to help her out, so we made for the door. Unfortunately—"
"Will this idiocy never end?"
"You wanted the whole story!"
"A mistake, obviously."
"You—"
"Go on!"
"There's a rogue magician's wand in the Room. You know, the kind that Muggles use for their so-called magic shows? Obviously, this one was charmed by a wizard, and the wand—"
"A rogue wand? And how do you know about Muggle magician's wands?"
"Just because I don't tolerate Muggles doesn't mean I don't know anything about them."
"And you're telling me that you've been rifling around the Room of Requirement?"
"Do you still want to know what happened to Filch?"
"Don't think we've finished discussing these excursions of yours. Go on."
"IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!"
"Banshee!"
*growl*
"Filch?"
"Fine! The rogue wand flies around the Room casting some kind of transfiguration spell on random objects. I tried to dispel the charms on it once, but nothing worked—maybe that's why it was cast into the Room of Lost Things in the first place. It flew over Filch just as he managed to climb into the cauldron, and it turned him into a fluffy pink rabbit."
"Oh, Merlin..."
"And Mrs. Norris being, well, Mrs. Norris, she attempted to, ah, catch the rabbit. The situation looked like it might get out of hand, so we decided to ask for help. We didn't know who else to call—or at least, who would dock us the least number of House Points—so I decided to come to you."
"It's good that you did. You'd have lost Slytherin a hundred points if you'd run to Minerva."
"Why would I run to McGonagall?"
"Maybe your girlfriend would have."
"She's not— but— how—"
"Mr. Malfoy."
"What?"
"I'll go and see Mr. Filch now. Where did you bring him?"
"Bring him? We didn't. That's why I'm here. It was difficult to climb that cauld—"
"WHAT? Why didn't you tell me he was still in there?"
"Professor, I tried, but you said you wanted to hear the story."
"Damn it! Mr. Malfoy, escort Ms. Weasley back to Gryffindor Tower and get back to your dormitory! I will go deal with Filch, if he hasn't been reduced to ribbons by his cat yet!"
"It's not Weas— Wait, how did you know it's—"
"I also know she's standing outside this room, listening."
"But—"
"GO!"
—
"I told you Snape would cover for me."
"Hah! Please. Don't be so sure about that. This isn't over."
"You heard him."
"I did. You have no idea what I had to do to make sure he won't hear me laughing from out here. But, yes, this isn't over."
"Well, our evening is, unfortunately. Come on. You heard him—I should go walk you to your Tower."
"I heard you too, you know."
"Heard what?"
"You said something about people who are remotely in love."
"Gin..."
"I heard you."
"..."
"Are you going to deny it?"
"No, I'm not. But... no matter how I feel, you do know that it will take a miracle for the world around us and for my destiny to change."
"I know. You may not tell me, but I can feel that something is weighing down on you. I don't know how we're going to deal with whatever this is, eventually, but before I even think about the future, I just want you to be honest about what's been happening between us."
"You heard me."
"Draco..."
"Alright, I care about you. Damn it, I think I've even gone as far as falling in love with you. But this changes nothing, Gin. I'm crazy to dare to dream that I can figure out how to keep us away from what my father and the Dark Lord expects of me. I don't even know if I'll be able to protect you from—"
"Shhhhh. Stop! I said the only thing that I want to know right now is how you really feel. We can talk about everything else some other time. Snape did say you should walk me to Gryffindor Tower now, remember?"
"But—"
"Draco, please. Leave it for now."
"Listen to me! I can't be what Potter can be for you. I don't have a bloody scar on my forehead! I am not The Boy Who Lived."
"No, Draco, you're not. But you are The Boy Who Dared to Love Me, and for now, that's all that matters."
"I—"
"You are also The Boy Who Dared To Petrify Mrs. Norris, and if we don't leave now, you shall also be crowned The Boy Who Will Serve Detention With A Furious Fluffy Pink Rabbit After Losing Slytherin 100 House Points."
"Yes, we'd better go. But not before I find out how to win the title The Boy That Ginny Weasley Is In Love With. There must be something I can hold over Potter."
"Why bother? You're already wearing that crown."
Author notes: You all might be familiar with "The Boy Who Dared" by Susan Campbell Bartoletti. It's an acclaimed YA book, and yes, that's where I borrowed the title of the fic.
Eddard the Headless is a "Game of Thrones" tribute. Oh, hey, it looks like winter really is coming for some of you, as of this writing. :P
If you're interested in the Dialogue Writing Exercise I mentioned, the rules are here on Brandon Sanderson's website.
The End.
Alysanne Antaryon is the author of 0 other stories.
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