Ginny didn't say anything, just stared at him. She opted for feigning sleep, but figured that wouldn't do any good seeing as she just spoke to him a moment ago.
“Gin?” Draco's voice was soft. “Say something.”
“I don't know what to say,” Ginny muttered. “Are you sure that's how you feel?”
“Yes,” he said seriously. “I've known for awhile.”
Ginny squeezed her eyes shut, feeling the tears built. “I can't,” she whispered. “I can't say it back, I'm sorry.”
“I don't expect you to.” He chuckled. “Ginny, what I said, it wasn't to make you say it, too. I know you don't feel the same.”
Ginny stared into shadow that was his face and said, “How do you even know what I'm feeling?”
Now she was mad. She hated when someone told her how she was supposed to feel. Though it was surprising, who it was coming from. She always imagined Harry being the one to say something like that. But now, now Draco's words, his actions, changed everything.
**
Her reflection looked miserable as it stared back at her through the mirror. The bathroom smelled of beer and vomit, and as she inhaled, her stomach turned over. Ginny grimaced and exited the restroom.
The bar was still as crowded as it had been when she arrived. No one she knew was here, which was good, because all she wanted to do was drink until she couldn't feel. That part of her whole situation was ironic, she thought, because according to some people she didn't feel anything.
So, when she was back at her table alone, she ordered another vodka. It burned going down but she didn't care.
“Well, look what I've found. A lonely, little girl.”
The voice was one she recognized right away. She looked up and pushed a chair out with her foot. “Sit down,” she said.
Blaise smiled and took a seat. He leaned back in the chair and stared at her. “Why are you drinking alone? Where's Draco?”
Two questions, and two answers she knew, but he probably wouldn't like either of them. Instead she said, “What are you doing here?”
“Drinking, of course,” he told her.
“You don't have a glass or bottle,” she reminded him.
“I'm not the one that's been here for an hour,” he said, smirking. “Or is it a little less? You look pretty far gone now. But you haven't answered my previous questions. I can see you're avoiding them, and it's probably with good reason that you are.”
Ginny looked and him and drained her glass and said softly, “Draco told me he loved me.”
Blaise frowned. “How long has it been?”
“Only a few months,” replied Ginny. She sighed. “I don't know what to do. And to make matters worse, he basically told me he knew I didn't feel the same.”
“Draco has a habit of doing that,” he said. “I'm sure of you explain that you don't feel that way, he'd understand. I think he might even take it back.”
“I don't want him to though.”
“Because you want to be sure about how you feel?”
She nodded. “It's just too soon. I mean it is, right?”
Blaise shook his head. “I'm not the person to ask about that, I'm afraid. I haven't exactly had many woman around me, not like Draco, anyway.”
“So, you've never been in love?” she asked.
He smiled somberly. “I haven't. And neither had Draco, up until today. It's not like it's easy for him to express his feelings, you know. Lucius was powerful, and he always pushed Draco to be the best, and nothing else. Maybe he thinks he has to say everything he feels so you'll keep accepting him.”
“But I never stopped.”
A smile slithered across Blaise's face. “Maybe that's all he needs then, to know you're not going to leave, that his faults don't matter to you. That, despite who he used to be, the person he is now is who you want.”
**
By the time Ginny got back to the flat, it was late. She stumbled through the door into a darkened living room. No fire, no chair that held Draco poised, book in hand, waiting for her. There was just silence.
“Draco, are you here?” she called.
Nothing.
Ginny crept down the hall and into the bedroom. It was empty. She flicked the light on; it looked like he'd straightened up, and gone out, but hadn't come back. The bed was made, untouched.
“You're back,” said a voice from behind her.
Ginny swore, turned around, and launched herself at him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face into his chest.
“If I'd known I'd get that type of welcome, I'd have stayed out later.” He chuckled and patted her on the back. “What's with the theatrics?”
“I thought you left me,” she whispered, clutching him tightly. It was in that instant that she knew just how much he meant to her.
“Why would I leave you?” Draco asked quietly. "Besides, this is my flat."
“Because I don't love you.”
Draco wrapped his arms around her and held her close, his lips against her hair. Then he said, “Silly, that doesn't matter. I just wanted you to know how I felt. I know you've probably been thinking that it wasn't possible, that anyone who said such a thing to you would eventually betray you. But I promise you, I would never do anything to hurt you.”
Ginny wanted so badly to believe him.
“Okay,” she said. She looked up at him. “Where did you go?”
“I went to see your parents,” he said. “You ran out of here so fast, I thought you went there.” He stiffened suddenly. “Have you been drinking?”
'Yes,” said Ginny. “I went to a bar tonight. Blaise was there.”
“Was he?” Draco asked, but his tone lacked interest. “He must have been bored. He doesn't normally go there otherwise.”
Ginny shrugged. “I asked him, and he just said he was drinking. He didn't have anything in his hand though. He asked me why I was alone, and where you were.”
“What did you tell him?” he asked, leading her to the bed. He sat down and held her by the hips, pulling her to him. He reached under her shirt and ran his hand across her stomach. “Or is that unimportant right now?”
Ginny sighed as his lips pressed against her skin. All of her thoughts and words from before were forgotten, lost in a haze as she wrapped her fingers in his hair.
“Gin?” Draco's voice was soft. “Say something.”
“I don't know what to say,” Ginny muttered. “Are you sure that's how you feel?”
“Yes,” he said seriously. “I've known for awhile.”
Ginny squeezed her eyes shut, feeling the tears built. “I can't,” she whispered. “I can't say it back, I'm sorry.”
“I don't expect you to.” He chuckled. “Ginny, what I said, it wasn't to make you say it, too. I know you don't feel the same.”
Ginny stared into shadow that was his face and said, “How do you even know what I'm feeling?”
Now she was mad. She hated when someone told her how she was supposed to feel. Though it was surprising, who it was coming from. She always imagined Harry being the one to say something like that. But now, now Draco's words, his actions, changed everything.
Her reflection looked miserable as it stared back at her through the mirror. The bathroom smelled of beer and vomit, and as she inhaled, her stomach turned over. Ginny grimaced and exited the restroom.
The bar was still as crowded as it had been when she arrived. No one she knew was here, which was good, because all she wanted to do was drink until she couldn't feel. That part of her whole situation was ironic, she thought, because according to some people she didn't feel anything.
So, when she was back at her table alone, she ordered another vodka. It burned going down but she didn't care.
“Well, look what I've found. A lonely, little girl.”
The voice was one she recognized right away. She looked up and pushed a chair out with her foot. “Sit down,” she said.
Blaise smiled and took a seat. He leaned back in the chair and stared at her. “Why are you drinking alone? Where's Draco?”
Two questions, and two answers she knew, but he probably wouldn't like either of them. Instead she said, “What are you doing here?”
“Drinking, of course,” he told her.
“You don't have a glass or bottle,” she reminded him.
“I'm not the one that's been here for an hour,” he said, smirking. “Or is it a little less? You look pretty far gone now. But you haven't answered my previous questions. I can see you're avoiding them, and it's probably with good reason that you are.”
Ginny looked and him and drained her glass and said softly, “Draco told me he loved me.”
Blaise frowned. “How long has it been?”
“Only a few months,” replied Ginny. She sighed. “I don't know what to do. And to make matters worse, he basically told me he knew I didn't feel the same.”
“Draco has a habit of doing that,” he said. “I'm sure of you explain that you don't feel that way, he'd understand. I think he might even take it back.”
“I don't want him to though.”
“Because you want to be sure about how you feel?”
She nodded. “It's just too soon. I mean it is, right?”
Blaise shook his head. “I'm not the person to ask about that, I'm afraid. I haven't exactly had many woman around me, not like Draco, anyway.”
“So, you've never been in love?” she asked.
He smiled somberly. “I haven't. And neither had Draco, up until today. It's not like it's easy for him to express his feelings, you know. Lucius was powerful, and he always pushed Draco to be the best, and nothing else. Maybe he thinks he has to say everything he feels so you'll keep accepting him.”
“But I never stopped.”
A smile slithered across Blaise's face. “Maybe that's all he needs then, to know you're not going to leave, that his faults don't matter to you. That, despite who he used to be, the person he is now is who you want.”
By the time Ginny got back to the flat, it was late. She stumbled through the door into a darkened living room. No fire, no chair that held Draco poised, book in hand, waiting for her. There was just silence.
“Draco, are you here?” she called.
Nothing.
Ginny crept down the hall and into the bedroom. It was empty. She flicked the light on; it looked like he'd straightened up, and gone out, but hadn't come back. The bed was made, untouched.
“You're back,” said a voice from behind her.
Ginny swore, turned around, and launched herself at him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face into his chest.
“If I'd known I'd get that type of welcome, I'd have stayed out later.” He chuckled and patted her on the back. “What's with the theatrics?”
“I thought you left me,” she whispered, clutching him tightly. It was in that instant that she knew just how much he meant to her.
“Why would I leave you?” Draco asked quietly. "Besides, this is my flat."
“Because I don't love you.”
Draco wrapped his arms around her and held her close, his lips against her hair. Then he said, “Silly, that doesn't matter. I just wanted you to know how I felt. I know you've probably been thinking that it wasn't possible, that anyone who said such a thing to you would eventually betray you. But I promise you, I would never do anything to hurt you.”
Ginny wanted so badly to believe him.
“Okay,” she said. She looked up at him. “Where did you go?”
“I went to see your parents,” he said. “You ran out of here so fast, I thought you went there.” He stiffened suddenly. “Have you been drinking?”
'Yes,” said Ginny. “I went to a bar tonight. Blaise was there.”
“Was he?” Draco asked, but his tone lacked interest. “He must have been bored. He doesn't normally go there otherwise.”
Ginny shrugged. “I asked him, and he just said he was drinking. He didn't have anything in his hand though. He asked me why I was alone, and where you were.”
“What did you tell him?” he asked, leading her to the bed. He sat down and held her by the hips, pulling her to him. He reached under her shirt and ran his hand across her stomach. “Or is that unimportant right now?”
Ginny sighed as his lips pressed against her skin. All of her thoughts and words from before were forgotten, lost in a haze as she wrapped her fingers in his hair.
Leave a Review