AU. Draco Malfoy has an uncommon skill and he offers his services to the Order of the Phoenix to protect his mother. But as his importance to the Order grows, his strength and will slackens. Finally, all Draco wants is peace, but can Ginny Weasley help him find peace with her before he seeks it in the Dark?Category: Works in ProgressThis story takes place after OotP but uses a few elements from HBP.
**And now includes illustrations! Thanks to the rulers of the DG universe, er...the Cabal, for letting me post them here!**
I'd say you're a little bit on the obscure side. I'm rather confused. But that was good, and made me very sad. I'm attached to Draco. So, just know, if you kill him, I'm likely to want to cry. Though I also idolize Draco and rarely actually cry.
Author's Response: Well, I hope to resolve a few things pretty soon and hopefully it will clear some things up for people. Anyway, it\'s really gratifying to know that others have become attached to this Draco. I AM rather fond of him myself!
I found a little error that's really bugging me so I'm going to have to play beta and fix it.
Dumbledore asks Draco when he became a vegetarian, and Draco gives an answer that does not really make sense: "For a long time...”.
Other than that, the story is coming along nicely. I'm a little confused on the druid stuff, but I like it that way. I can see where you're headed, and that's enough.
I would agree with Gabby though: if you want the two of them to get together, Draco and Ginny should probably at least be in the same room from time to time, and I haven't seen much of that, even, lately.
Author's Response: Oh...darn..I\'ll fix that eventually. Thanks for letting me know!
And DG will be in the same room in the next chapter though whether or not I want them together...okay, I\'m kidding. I can\'t really imagine Ginny with anyone like, ergh, Potter!
Draco Malfoy hasn’t been seen or heard from since that fateful night at the end of his 6th year. He is believed to have been murdered by Voldemort as a result of his failure. What happens when a certain red head finds him? Will their past be forgotten? HBP spoilers.Category: Works in Progress
You can find betas on Fictionalley Park, but you have to be careful and make sure they know what they are doing. Usually it's best to find someone who can tell you which stories they’ve betaed so you can see if they are at all proficient.
Category: Works in ProgressTheir love was forbidden. So, the story goes. One was a prince, the other a peasant. They came together at a time of war—a time of frustration and confusion—a time when it was necessary to choose a side or perish forever. One was either good or evil, a friend or an enemy. Either way you chose, you could not win—someone, somewhere, would hate you. In this tale of two young lovers, one good and one evil, they must choose their path in a world so corrupt that even the werewolves feared the night. Will destiny bring them together? Or will it tear them apart?
Keep it up. I love stories where Voldemort is in power. I don't know, there's something so much more original about them. Well, keep it up. I love the muggles. That's a wonderfully original idea as well.
I'm just wondering, have you got a beta reader. If you don't you might want to. You haven't got any really bad errors, but there are a few minor ones that could be taken care of so easily.
Is this a spoiler for HBP? Because if it is, there are a lot of contradictions. For example, After HBP, Bill should have some kind of scaring which I can't imagine Draco and Ginny wouldn't notice even in the middle of a battle.
Is this a spoiler for HBP? Because if it is, there are a lot of contradictions. For example, After HBP, Bill should have some kind of scaring which I can't imagine Draco and Ginny wouldn't notice even in the middle of a battle.
Is this a spoiler for HBP? Because if it is, there are a lot of contradictions. For example, After HBP, Bill should have some kind of scaring which I can't imagine Draco and Ginny wouldn't notice even in the middle of a battle.
Author's Response: First of all, thank you for reviewing! I realize what you mean and I have gone back and added something to it. I guess I hadn\'t realized when I first added the story, but thank you for letting me know!
Just so you know, in your last big paragraph you spelled seemed with an 'a'.
I love this story. It's so original in the way it's set up. Everything from the Hunters to Fred/Hermione has a handprint on it saying 'original work' to me. So, really, I think you've accomplished doing one of the most difficult things in fanfiction:writen a story that truely hasn't been writen before. Good Job. I can't wait for your next chapter; keep working.
Draco Malfoy is just discovering that life is unbelievably dull when excitement in the form of Ginny Weasley comes crashing into him...literally. [OneShot]Category: Completed Short Stories
This sentence from your first paragraph doesn't make any sense. Do you mean "anyway"?
It really was all rather boring anymore, life that was.
I really liked your version of Ginny.
She's dead and Draco is struggling to cope, he never thought he could ever learn to love anyone, that was until he met her. He doesn’t want to live anymore but there’s one thing stopping him from taking the easy way out.Category: Works in Progress
I like this a lot. It's very poetic. You have a couple little technical errors: triple comma splice and you changed from frist person to third person a couple of times. I'd suggest getting a beta, another one if you already have one. It doesn't have to be your job to make sure the grammar is good, but you should make sure someone is doing it.
Ginny has finally been allowed to join the Order. But is it too high a price? Her mission: Baby sit the one and only Draco Malfoy.Category: Works in Progress
No. You are not pacing it too slowly. You doing wonderful. With most plots (like yours) we don't even want the to imagine what it would be like to get along until at least chapter three (and your chapters are short), if not until much later than that. Ginny and Draco are enemies when almost all fics start, so they should act accordingly. Don't let people tell you that Ginny is really evil like and they can immediately hit it off. Nine times out of ten that spells disaster. And it means whoever you're talking here is looking for smut and not for a plot or anything else worthwhile.
Oh, and if you haven't go a beta yet, I'd be willing to beta for you. My email is priorincantatem@gmail.com
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I would love to have you BETA for me. I will email you. Thanks for taking the time to review. I am hoping the plot will keep everyone interested. I do promise the chapters get longer as well. Thanks again for the wonderful review.
Ginny, Harry, and Draco have been leading separate lives for years, but then a disturbing case involving mind manipulation brings them all together. Rows break out, animosity and hatred grow, people die, and friendship is tested. In the midst of all that, is it possible for romance between two unlikely people to bloom?Category: Works in Progress
I don't understand this sentence: [It's about halfway through the chapter]
"She tried to convince herself that he wasn’t good-looking, that he was a nasty, stupid wizard, but every opportunity he had to touch her but didn’t felt like an opportunity wasted."
Other than that, it was very good. Their “bests of sex” game was highly amusing though. And I'm still wondering how in the world it was that Draco didn't get seen. I mean, seriously, in the middle of Knockturn Alley. It isn't as popular as Diagon Alley, but it's not exactly deserted. *_*
Author's Response: \"She tried to convince herself that he wasn\'t good looking, that he was a nasty, stupid wizard, but every opportunity he had to touch her but didn\'t [touch her] ... felt like an opportunity wasted.\"
Does that make sense now?
And you can have sex in VERY public places without people ever finding out.
You've created a very deep and extremely disturbing criminal. Good job. I don't mean to say that I condone what he does or having it plastered all over the place, but I think it was important for us, as the readers, to read that so that we can understand what our characters are up against and how serious this really is. Again, amzing job. Keep it up.
Author's Response: No, the chapter wasn\'t written for teh sake or writing or disturbing, but to inform. That\'s what you could expect to happen with a real life sociopath, take away the magic bits.
I love how you have this sleek buisness woman type and then comes along someone who just has that way about them and they completely fall apart. It's so much fun to watch. Good job on this story though. I can't wait to see more.
Your imagery with Cecilia makes me want to squirm, which is wonderful. You're doing an amazing job of making your vilian completely discusting, but, completely believable (in a Harry Potter sense, of course.) Keep it up.
Yay. This is really good. Keep it up.
You're doing a good job of hiding the fact that Ginny's in so much trouble and yet making it obvious. I don't know, I don't notice and then every once in a while it jumps out at me and I go 'shit, she's going to die'... anyway, clever story.
Draco failed 6th year Transfiguration. Ginny is his tutor. What happens when a Malfoy and Weasley are stuck together for the whole summer and what happens when they become friends and possibly something more...Category: Works in Progress
Ginny is short for Ginevra not Virginia. Have you read the fic rules lately? It mentions it there.
Author's Response: Hola! Yes, I know that Ginny\'s name is indeed Ginevra and not Virginia. In my first chapter in my Authors note I did state it that for the first 3 and a half chapters Ginny was going to be referred to as Virginia. Hope you keep on reading! :-)
I really like their interaction with each other. Draco really quite nice to Ginny, even when they're alone, nicer than I think he'd be in the current circumstances, but as I don't know your plot, I really can't judge. Keep going.
I really like this. The guitar was great, though I am slightly surprised that Ginny tells Sarah things so quickly. It seems like she might have learned better from the whole diary experience, but then again, we've seen (from the same thing) that she's easily susceptible to confidences. It's a little bit less than normal Ginny, but you stuck with it, and it's a plausible characterization. So...Good job.
By the way, I hope you weren't disheartened at all by my review just before. That was a little thing, but it just squicked me. All writing has things like that, and I do the exact same thing when reading published novels.
Author's Response: Hola! Nope, I wasn\'t disheartened at all your reviews. You\'re making this into a challenge for me actually! I feel the same way you do about some of the stuff I read. Though, I am glad you are indeed liking my story and I do hope you continue to enjoy.
-Jenn :)-
"I thought we were friends, Ginny." (Pasted from the very first) No, just please no...That's just too cliche, it ruins any scene that had cute potential without it.
Draco is a known death eater, and Ginny an Auror. Both share a secret, but it was never meant to be.Category: Completed Short Stories
A short, but dark, one-shot. Not for those looking for fluff at all.
It's funny how, yes, in a way that's dark, but it the same way it's extremely dark. It reminds me of a Draco/Harry fic I read. It was kind of the same thing: Draco saying, "Look, I'm a Death Eater. This just isn't going to work. I don't know how to love, etc." Except that he meant it. That was depressing, but this. I think of it as more of a tribute to love and it's power.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! That\'s exactly the feeling I wanted this fic-let to have! I\'m so happy that someone got that!
I may just mention you when I add onto this fic :-)
Draco Malfoy only wanted two things in life: Ginny Weasley and a good story. Now he's found a way to get them both - at the same time!Category: Works in Progress
Is Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogochto something from "His Girl Friday"? I've never seen it, so I wouldn't know, but it is confusing me quite a lot.
I can't see how Ginny doesn't blow up. It'a amazing, really.
Ginny is alone and in the library and who happens to walk in? Draco Malfoy, of course! So, one thing leads to another, resulting in a delightful (or not so much) Christmas holiday with Draco and Hermione in tow.Category: Works in Progress
I like your characterization of Hermione. Sometimes she's really quite cruel, but she's understanding and she's not stupid. She wouldn't let someone stand there and die even if that someone was Malfoy. Neither would Ginny come to think of it. But Harry and Ron, they may be another story. Draco has been quite testing of them, especially in the sixth book.
Your Malfoy is good. I like that he's playful, kindof. But then again, he's still the twisted bully that we know. Keep both traits. I think they're working very well.
Five years ago Ginny Weasley disappeared from Harry Potter and the Wizarding World. What happens when she is found, a hidden passion and a forbidden relationship are revealed? [On hiatus]Category: Works in Progress
I'd be willing to beta for you, but I'm really busy, so I'm not allways quick at getting things done. If you don't mind that, email me at priorincantatem@gmail.com. Oh, and if you want to check if I know what I'm doing, I suggest you talk to Armid. I'm currently betaing for her fic "Why Me?".