COMPLETE! Strolling through Diagon Alley Lucius Malfoy comes across a little boy who could have been Draco's twin. Has his family tree been expanded, without his knowledge? Has Draco been keeping secrets? Or is he oblivious to the fact that he may have an heir?Category: Long and Completed
LMAO!!!! That was GREAT!!! Omg, I can't believe Ron was SO busted!!! And the end, genious! Loved it. Actually, I'm loving the whole thing so far. I hope it gets better!!! :D
Author's Response: Thank you so much! That chapter was particularly fun to write ;)
Okay: Two things I've noticed thus far in reading: 1) The comma placements in the sentences really need to be worked with and they are truely taking away some of the impact of the story for me; and 2) Drake and Angel, while keeping his words simple, has EXCELLENT grammer and all of the YOUNG children seem to be able to speak like adults in their sentences. This is all that I've found that has really bothered me. Other than those, I find the story-line to be brilliant!!! You really have a way of bringing to life the emotions of the characters.
Author's Response: Thank you. My beta actually has a Masters Degree in English, so there shouldn\'t be any missing punctuation, but if there are I do apologize (we\'re only human). It is possible for five-year-olds not to speak like babies (which annoys me). I taught all three of my children at an early age to speak correctly, and Drake and Angel are somewhat modelled on them :)