With the war raging around them, Ginny Weasley and Draco Malfoy find peace and much more whilst living in the Safe House.Category: Long and Completed
Aww, the ending was very, very cute. I laughed when poor Ginny hit the barrier (I was expecting something like that to happen), and her flippant way of dealing with it was nicely done.
The only thing I would suggest is being aware that when you have different perspectives like this, it does make it confusing if you're constantly switching between them without having some kind of 'break' to separate the character's thoughts/perspective, or at least a natural shift to the next person. I got a bit confused in that middle part.
Other than that, I rather enjoyed this. I look forward to the next chapter.
Author's Response: Thank you! And I have noticed that I sometimes go straight into dialogue without indicating who is speaking. I guess when you are hearing it in your head it's kind of obvious who is saying what:) I will try to keep that in mind as I continue writing and revising. I hope that's what you meant, if not let me know. I appreciate the comment, so thanks!
Very interesting. So now we know why Voldemort wants Ginny. I'm assuming since Hermione married Ron three years ago that Ginny and Draco are much older than I originally thought them. How old are they exactly?
This one part confused me: Ginny stood in the kitchen for a moment berating herself. Oh my God, Ginny. Were you or were you not just thinking that he was going to torture and rape you? Maybe you really are a whore. Harry was right all along. No wonder he never married you. He knows you are a pathetic little whore!
I don't understand why Ginny is calling herself a whore when she apparently thought he was going to torture and rape her. It seems a very twisted logic, and makes me wonder what has happened to her before that for her to even think such a thing.
I'll admit, I do find your Draco very 'nice', and while that's not necessarily a bad thing, there are moments where he seems to not really have anything of his old personality. Does that make sense? I also found the switching between 'thoughts' a bit choppy and confusing again -- especially that part where Draco brushes against her.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review, even the criticism.
Well, I just looked back over it and realized that the italics didn't transfer for the thoughts in this chapter. I will be going back over this. Sorry.
As for her reaction, she was inhaling his scent when he came up behind her and that was directly after she had been thinking about him raping, etc. Maybe this was not clear enough that she was feeling an attraction to him. That's what I was going for. She keeps finding herself attracted to him and wanting him to be someone that it would be okay for her to be attracted to, but she believes she shouldn't. And Harry pretty much treated her like a whore for years, and that has affected her.
So Draco is nice. I know and I was not intending him to be such a nice guy, but I think that in this vaccuum they are living in, he can let his guard down with her unlike anyone else. Or I just can't seem to write him that way. I still am struggling with this part of his personality, and I hope that at some point in the fic (when they leave?) we will get to see a bit more of the snarky Draco.
Thanks again for the review. I really do appreciate the constructive criticism.
Wasn't sure how else to respond to you, so here we go with another review.
I got that she was attracted to him, and I guess that's why I was confused by the 'raping' and 'torture' comment. I would understand more if she thought herself a whore because 'she' was attracted to him and wanted to be physically intimate with him. But she called herself a whore because she thought he was going to rape her, and rape, as we know, is a very violent and traumatising act (and certainly not something you throw around lightly). I don't know, I suppose I was just a bit confused.
Author's Response: Okay. I get your confusion. I think it is missing something in her thoughts. Thank you. I will look at it again. Also, I forgot to tell you that their ages when Ginny enters the house are 23 and 24. I have the entire thing outlined and have tried to make sure all the dates line up, but let me know if it gets confusing. Thanks for taking the time to reply (review) again.
How embarassing for Draco to get caught in that situation, but it certainly was funny for me to read.
I liked this chapter, and there were some really lovely moments where I felt the emotions of the characters, but I do think you could work a bit harder on getting that emotion coming through the words. A lot of the time I felt the conversation was a bit abrupt and without feeling, if that makes sense. If you're struggling with getting the dialogue to show that emotion, then consider using action to emphasise what is not being said. I think it would make your characters much stronger and more believable.
That's not to say they are not believable. I just felt, particularly in this chapter since they were discussing such emotional things, that there was an almost robotic feel about the way they were saying the words, as if they were just reading scripts. I know you can get that emotion, so I really encourage you to keep that in mind for future chapters. This story has a lot of potential, and I think with a bit of polishing it could be something really special. ^_^
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I think I was trying to keep Ginny distant because she is trying to not get emotionally involved with him. But I do see your point. It's interesting that you reference a script because I have been a performer for years. Maybe I am used to just fleshing out the words and emotions for myself. That's not an excuse, but it's something I should be aware of when writing. As for using action to describe it, I noticed that I did not do that very much in much of the dialogue. I'm such a subtext kind of girl, and again, this is something I need to work on. I will keep this in mind as I continue working on this fic. It's kind of kicking my butt right now. Thanks again.
Hehe, I rather enjoyed the banter in this one. There was a nice balance of humour and seriousness as well, which I think worked.
I was a bit confused about the name thing. I mean, they're discussing the fact he's not comfortable using her name, and then they both say each other's name and don't even blink. Then, of course, they go back to surnames. It's nothing major, just something I noticed.
Author's Response: Thanks.
He calls her Ginevra because they are drinking and she is upset. He drops the mask for her. She also lets her guard down when he comforts her. She decides to go back to Malfoy the next day, and he notices it so he goes back to Weasley. He said he wasn't comfortable calling her Weasley cuz it reminded him of her brother, but that was a lie. He was not wanting to discuss how or why he said Ginevra when he woke up from his naughty dream.
Sorry for the confusion. All of those name things were done intentionally. I wanted to show that, especially for Draco, their relationship already has potential for being more than house mates.
Okay, hopefully the paragraph things work! If not, sorry. Also, thanks again for the review.
You know, whenever I read scenes like that last one, I always feel this little pride that I am not a vocal sleeper. All that humiliation is just not an issue for me, but for Ginny. Well, I laughed. Poor thing, and Draco's reaction was priceless.
I enjoyed this chapter, though I admit I wanted to chuck something at Ginny when she decided to lock herself in her room for three days. Talk about immature.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review -again! Yeah, poor Ginny, right? I almost didn't put that scene in there because Draco had such a similar dream, but I hope it still works because hers was definitely much worse - and I needed something to get the ball rolling between the two of them. Plus, his reaction was one of my favourite parts. It's funny you didn't like her behaviour during the "fight", someone else blamed him. Thanks, as always.
Hrm, I do wonder what Ginny saw Draco doing. I don't think it's 'evil stuff' somehow.
Cute chapter. ^_^
Author's Response: Thank you. I personally like the fluff, so it was nice to finally get to some of it. Hmmm, evil stuff. Well, I can't really say anything. Thank you for reviewing, as always. Glad you liked the chapter.
I liked the concept of your spell -- that was very fascinating! I was a bit surprised Ginny didn't just accio the chocolate afterwards, but then you explained she couldn't use magic after already using so much magic, and it made sense.
I did feel Draco was a bit, hrm, too open with some of his feelings in this one, but we'll just lay that down to circumstance. Sickly people are always more vocal and sentimental. ^_~
Author's Response: Thank you. I really loved this spell. I even threw in the old "fire and ice" description for fun. And I try so hard to keep track of things like why she didn't accio the chocolate. It makes me crazy when I am going over it again and again, looking for loopholes or little inconsistencies. Not that I catch them all, but I know as a reader I always am thinking about those things.
As for Draco, I think that yes he is emotional after what has happened, but also he is tired of denying himself what he wants, not something he has ever really done before. He's been in that house almost a year at this point, and I think it has definitely changed him.
Thank you again for the review!
Aww, very sweet ending.
This chapter was a bit of a roller coaster. I loved the fluffy parts, but Ginny is right to wonder about Draco's stand on blood purity. The thing is, even if he doesn't feel Muggleborns should be killed, he probably will carry that 'purebloods are superior' thing for a long time.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review :) I love the fluff, as you can probably tell. And the blood purity issue will be addressed. And yeah, Draco is Draco, so there's no "let's adopt a Muggle baby" plan for him.
Oh no! What happened to Ginny? Here's to hoping she's taken up residence in Draco's bed and is, ahem, 'waiting' for him.
Author's Response: Well, I would definitely be 'waiting' for him. :) As for Ginny, you should find out really soon. I really hope to get back into this fic and start posting regularly. Thanks for the review!
Yay! I knew nothing had happened to her. So glad they were able to finally express their love for each other. I thought you did well with the love scenes - very tasteful, which is how I like it.
I'm a little sad the fluffy stuff seems to be going away, but I suppose that's how it works. Somehow, I think Draco and Ginny are both about to have their peaceful existence turned upside down.
Author's Response: Thank you! This love scene is more of a fade-to-black. Mostly because I don't feel comfortable writing anything too explicit - and this was the very first one I ever wrote. The scenes in Marry Me are about as dirty as it will get. :) And the fluff will last for a bit longer, but you are right. Things are going to change, maybe not exactly how you think, but it can't stay like this forever.
I wasn't expecting them to get married! Why do I feel like something bad is going to come from all of this?
Loved the ceremony! Your description of it was very detailed and interesting!
Author's Response: Thank you for the review. I loved writing this ceremony, so I'm glad you enjoyed it. And something bad happening? As much as I love the fluff, it can't last forever.
So I'm kind of half asleep, but I wanted to catch up on these chapters, so bear with the reviews you're going to get.
I'm confused about the clock. I'm assuming it says 'home' for GInny now because the cottage thing is becoming her home, but I always thought it said 'home' only if the person was at the Burrow. Could be wrong.
Their drunken stint made me laugh.
Author's Response: Thanks again for reviewing - especially when sleep-deprived. And the clock thing is my romantic interpretation of it, so you are assuming correctly. It's been so long since I actually read the books, I'm not sure how specific JK ever gets into how it works. And it doesn't really specify at the lexicon. Anyway, glad you enjoyed their drunken celebration.
Awww, fluffy chapter. I love it when Draco finds out he's going to be a daddy.
Course the Ron, Harry, Hermione stuff is a bit unsettling. Just what do they think has happened to Ginny?
Author's Response: Yes, I do love the fluff, and I really love Draco as a daddy. As for the outside world stuff, that is the question that will drive the rest of this fic. Obviously, I can't answer it. Thanks for the lovely reviews!
So I'm pretty tired, so I'm sorry if my questions seem silly and I've just missed stuff. But I am confused. Why would Hermione not be able to have another child just because she miscarried one? And what dark spell was Draco looking for?
Also, I don't understand why Ron thinks that it was Draco's fault about the supposed Horcrux exploding. I mean, Draco has been shut away for MONTHS - surely they would realise by now that old information probably could have easily got leaked to Voldemort during those months, who could then have set up traps, knowing that eventually Harry and his little followers would show up. Ah, I don't know, maybe I'm just thinking too much into it.
Anwyay, this was a good (albeit short) chapter. I wonder who this 'spy' is.
Author's Response: No problem. I'm sorry if it is confusing. Okay, well as for Hermione, it was a combo of the physical trauma and magical blast that did irreperable harm to her uterus. Ron is blaming Draco because that's easier than blaming himself and Draco is 'dead' so that makes it much easier. Also, they are still in what appears to be a never-ending war. Ron has become bitter with their loss and turned all that nastiness onto Draco - this is not supposed to be healthy behaviour. Draco was Harry's secret spy - that was made clear in the early chapters, so I'm sure you forgot that by now. Anyway, when Harry found R & H at Mungo's he finally told them who gave him the list - Draco. It was the same night everything happened so Ron just latched onto it, and Hermione, too, really. And yes, it was months before that Draco gave them the list. This will be brought up later.
The dark spell will come back later. Thanks for the review! I hope this clears things up a bit.
Malfoys are raised to be different, to stand out from the crowd. Draco Malfoy soon learns that this is one lesson that applies to every aspect of his life, whether he likes it or not.Category: Completed Short Stories
Oh, Ann, I really loved this! There were some really priceless moments, and I sincerely do love you forever simply for this conversation between Draco and Narcissa:
[["I'm going to become a dancer at that new club in Hogsmeade. I hear the tips are quite good, and I can make a lucrative career out of it," he drawled, arms crossed. "Don't you think that's a good idea?"
"Fantastic," she mumbled, eyebrows knitted.
"I may have to take my clothes off for a few loose women, perhaps some gentlemen too. I hope you're alright with that," he continued. "I wouldn't want you to feel uncomfortable."]]
Hehhe, it gets me every time! In fact, I just love your Narcissa. I think she really steals the show with this fic. She's exactly as she should be.
Ah, I love your Ginny! She's strong and bold, and everything she should be. I cracked up at this line: "I said breasts, not tits. Stop looking at me so scandalously." -- such a Ginny thing to say.
I remember being confused when first reading this because Draco and Ginny were calling each other by their surnames and acting very distant towards each other. Then, of course, you explain the whole work versus personal relationship, and it all starts to make sense. I love their conversation in the office, by the way. The whole "I quit"/"I'll hire you back in an hour" thing is so cute, but you also get the sense that Ginny is getting just a little frustrated with this situation.
And so begins the failed proposal attempts. Poor Draco, I really feel for him in this story. He tries so hard yet nothing goes right. I have to admit, it's the fanged geranium that really gets me. The image is just hilarious, and then the poor guy hurts himself. I don't think I've said it yet, but needless to say, I think you did a wonderful job with how you characterised Draco. He's exactly how I imagined him when creating the prompt.
I still find their break-up argument a bit abrupt, but I think that's more the fact that this is a oneshot. If you had a bit more room to develop that frustration for Ginny, it would flow a bit more naturally, but this is really me being picky. I still believe the emotions, and as I said in my original review, I liked that you gave such a substantial reason for why she would break up. It makes a lot of sense.
Can I just say that I love, love, love the way you eventually have Draco propose. It's so unromantic and so Draco-ish that I can't help but laugh. I love that he doesn't even ask; he just slips the ring on her finger and tells her she will marry him. Definitely Draco.
The ending, of course, is brilliant. A fitting ending for a lovely fic. I really enjoyed reading this again, and thank you so much for writing it for me! It was an excellent interpretation of the prompt. ^_^
Author's Response: I never realized that I didn't respond to this. I promise I didn't do it on purpose. You know, it's funny, because Narcissa never used to be one of my favorite characters. But the more I write her as a secondary character, the more she does kind of show up all the other characters. I do love her now, very much. Ginny and Draco, for me, were difficult in this--Draco more so than Ginny. I had a clear picture of wanting Ginny to be crude and outright. But Draco was more difficult because I wanted him to be true to his nature but fumbling at the same time. Frustrated, fumbling, and still proud and conceited. It was a rough mixture, but I was pretty happy with the results. I'm glad you liked it, it being for you and all. I tried to do you justice (which I realize I haven't done you justice so far as that other babysitting fic from last year goes). I think this could have done well as a longer story or even just a longer one-shot. But with my change in prompt and all, I guess I just didn't have the time. For that, I am sorry because I know that middle part is a bit rushed. And that final bit was my favorite part because I got him to be a true Draco so to speak. He was going about the proposals in the wrong way. This was more his speed. :D I'm really happy you enjoyed the story though. I would have been sad if you didn't. Thanks for reviewing, again.
When Luna gets an idea into her head, it's hard to convince her otherwise, especially if you're the hapless victims of her matchmaking scheme...Category: Works in Progress
*wipes eyes* I love this fic. I've been laughing the whole time I've been reading this chapter. There are too many wonderful moments for me to pick out just a few, but I have to say that Luna's letter really made this for me. Simply hilarious!
Yay, you posted it! I LOVED this story in the exchange, and I will be definitely adding it to favourites. Everything about is just hilarious and brilliant, and Luna will forever be wonderful to me simply because of this line: “No, I insist. I’ll just be on my way. You were about to make some progression in the way of relieving your repressed sexual tension, I believe.”
That being said, I think you did really well with all the characters. Luna is perfect, with a nice mixture of the airy-fairy Luna we know, and a more pragmatic side that we know is there, but doesn't always get revealed in fanfiction. And right from the first words Draco and Ginny say to each other, I know I am going to love them and their banter, which I know there is plenty of. ^_~
I look forward to reading more!
Hehhe, loved it! You truly did wonders with the prompt, and your characterisation and the way you went about the story was just perfect. I'm only sad that it's over. I do hope you plan to write more. You've become quite the favourite with me. ^_^
What do you do with all the time in the world? Draco and Ginny are stuck in a loop of everlasting Tuesdays, in which they discover that there is such a thing as too much time on your hands.Category: Long and Completed
Written for Incognito in the DG Forum Fic Exchange - Winter 2010 and winner of Best Chaptered Fic Overall.
Hehe, this is great! Poor Draco doesn't even realise he is repeating the same day, which is both sad and funny. I think if I were Ginny I'd be having the same, slightly hysterical reaction. Poor things.
Author's Response: It looks like a great situation at first. Ginny immediately saw what a horrible thing had happened, but it will take some time with Draco, as you very well know. :)
AHHHH! You finally posted it! I LOVED this fic in the exchange, and was waiting for the chance to read it properly again and review.
The set up here is perfect! I love Draco already, for all that he is grumpy, and Ginny is also very Ginny-ish and great. Ron is hilarious (of course he would think that Draco was undressing his sister, never mind that Ginny was actually undressing Draco), and Blaise as the snobby, detatched friend is a nice change from all the fanon Blaises we see. I think I said before that I liked you kept them so close to canon, and I really do appreciate that. It's not often you get Hogwarts stories that actually try to keep the characters so closely resembling their canon form and still have the story (and the characters) interesting.
Poor, poor Draco, though. He really did have a horrible day, and that last line makes me feel so awful for him (in a gleefully wicked way of course) because we know it's not the last time at all.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response: Thanks, Kim! XD I really wish I could say more in response, but all I can say is I always appreciate your reviews and I'm really glad you enjoyed the story!
Awww. This chapter always makes me feel much more sypmathetic rather than just wanting to laugh hysterically, and I think that's because you really get that connection with Draco in this one.
I have to say, I love the way you characterised him in this. He really does feel like canon Draco, and that's quite rare in fanfics of any kind. Loved it!
Author's Response: Thanks so much, Kim! XD
I'm supposed to be doing work, but I saw this update and couldn't resist.
I love this story! One: Draco thinks the only solution is to 'write home to mum'. What a Mummy's boy, lol.
Two: Draco calls Ginny all these ridiculous names. I love it! As well as his "it's Ginevra now and forever" comment, once he discovers what her name actually is. Hehe.
You really did something special with this story. They're such teenagers, yet still in character, and that is so rare! Can't wait to read the enxt chapter!
Author's Response: Awwww, thank you!!! *cough* Those are two parts that I particularly love in this chapter. Personally. XD Your reviews, especially for this story, make me so happy. I'll be in a good mood for the rest of the night. n_n I'm glad you like the story!
YAY! You updated! I'm so happy!
This chapter is short, but not short in humour and awesomeness. I really do love this story -- you did amazing with the prompt and bringing this (and Draco) to life. Especialyl your Draco. He is wonderful, in that arrogant, why-do-I-like-this-git way. Hehe.
Love this line: The orange. The freckles. The easily flushed cheeks. They were indicators of her poor class, and it was such a pity that she could never be truly pretty because of them.
That is perfect. Seriously. You really do get Hogwarts Draco just right!
Author's Response: Yay! I updated! I never know what to say in response to you, Kim, except that your reviews make me really happy. n_n I'm so glad you enjoy this story, and thank you so much for reviewing!
This is one of my favourite chapters from the story! I just love it! So many hilarious things. Parvati is hilarious (giant candles indeed!), and Draco's reaction to her is even more priceless.
What a really love, however, is how you get Draco's thoughts so perfectly! I really feel like I'm reading a teenage boy, and that's not something I always get. I also love how sophisticatedly you deal with his dilemma. He's not just whining because he's stuck living the same Tuesday over and over -- there's a real depth to the frustration. I particularly like this line: Draco was free as a bird, but he felt caged. Caged by Tuesday, and watched over by Monday and Wednesday sentinels.
The ending, of course, is brilliant. I love that Ginny allows him to suffer in his mortification instead of just saying she never believed he was gay. She was determined to get him to relent in their 'no talking or being around each other' rule, which is just like her.
Author's Response: Trivia! I was thinking of calling the story "Caged by Tuesday" because "An Everlasting Tuesday" reminded me too much of "The Never-Ending War." I kind of wish I had kept that title. I guess I thought it sounded hooky or something, but it totally gets the whole feel of the story. I really like those lines as well. n_n Ginny obviously wears the pants in this relationship. I'm sure Draco has no idea what he's getting into with her. XD Thanks, Kim!